50th & Final Injection & still waiting...

Dad & I on Tuesday, Holmbury Hill.



That's it! All 50 injections done and just one week of Ribavirin left to go. I am so excited to see how I will feel when I am not on the tx. Personally, I don't expect to see too many changes. I feel great right, have done for months and as far as I can remember, exactly as I did before I started tx. Is this possible? I would much rather be stopping my HIV meds to see how I feel off those. I can only imagine what it might be like not to have so many drugs inside of me. Maybe one day I will be able to let you know:)
I am however still waiting for the results to my PCR that was taken on the 22nd Jan. Just how long does it take? I suppose there is no rush.....but I would like to know wether I am right at the end of this tx with a failure or wether I still have to wait for my six month post tx test with a clear result. If I am still clear of Hep C I still have a while to go (six months). It can still come back. I won't be celebrating for a while yet. But I will feel a whole lot more.........happy if I am still clear now. I want to know!

I was out with my Dad (on the right of the photo.....with the binoculars) on Tuesday afternoon. We haven't been out for what seems like months together. Probably longer! He can be a bit of a handful at times and I would just much rather pop around to his flat and play golf on the PS2 than take him out in public. But it was a very Lovely day and I drove us to a few of my mountain biking haunts in the Surrey Hills (the bike stayed at home;). All he said when he saw the trails etc, is that I needed my head looking at!
Before I showed him the trails up Holmbury Hill I took us up to the top of Box Hill so he could use his binoculars properly. It's got to be better than him looking at the old ladies in the flats opposite to his I bet;)
Everything was fine until I pulled up in one of the disabled parking bays at the top, when as soon as I stepped out of the car, I heard a voice call from across the parking lot....'Have you got a blue badge to park there?' I turned around and saw this man wearing a Barbour wax jacket and sensible tweed 'Walking' trousers tucked into these rather long woollen socks! He had hold of a snazzy walking cane with a brightly polished ornamental head on top. Situated on top all of this apparell was a tweed flat cap, the type 'Andy Capp' used to wear in those unfunny newspaper comic strips. The only thing he was missing was a double barrel shotgun and a string of pheasants slung over his shoulder. He even had the pretty Golden Labrador. He came bounding over having spotted that I wasn't in a wheelchair and my bike racks attached to the top of the car and stood right in front of me. He obviously thought that I was in no way disabled and saw fit to act in this righteous manner. I thought for a second and almost said 'Yes, of course I do my friend', 'Let me show it to you.'.........I would normally say exactly this kind of thing.
But instead I said, 'Why don't you have a look?' Only for him to say, 'Well I am asking you'. I said that people don't normally ask me if I have my badge on display, especially if they are standing right in front of my car! They just look at it and then decide wether or not to 'Have a go!.'
It did annoy me somewhat with his rather 'Jumping to conclusions' attitude. All he had to do was look over my shoulder and he would have seen my badge and the clock that goes with it. I haven't been treated like this many times at all and it was a bit of a shock the way he approached me.
My Dad just had to say something and he never thinks before he opens his mouth and I am always afraid that something like this will happen when I am out with him!
It started to get a little heated and this gentleman even used the word 'Aggressive' three times as to our attitude. Believe me when I tell you that if I was aggressive, he would not have been holding that cane! He would have needed a cane extractor;) But as soon as I saw my Dad getting overly involved and also me wanting to avoid turning into my Dad I put a stop to it, told my Dad to f*ck off over to one side and said we weren't being aggressive and I was just upset as to the way he approached me. I mentioned the cycle racks and to the fact that I wasn't in a wheelchair and if I told him (which I wasn't going to) my life story, he would be on his knees in tears in a matter of moments! So we left it at that and apologised to eachother and went on our merry ways.
The bastard thing is that somewhere through all that, My Dad asked this man what right he had to ask us in the first place. The man said he was the head ranger for Box Hill. I mean please!! He should have known better than to jump to conclusions right?
You know, if my Dad wasn't there, I am almost certain that I would have not have acted the way that I did. I just like to keep my mouth shut.
Suffice to say that the whole thing very much pissed me off and all I wanted to do was hit someone! We walked to the viewpoint and looked at the view for a few minutes.........I saw Leith Hill sloping down onto Holmbury on the horizon and decided that we would go there instead. So back in the car we got and drove back down the hill the seven or so miles to Peaslake and instantly I felt a whole lot better. Ignorance is such a dark, opaque veil! I tolerate it as much as I can, because if I didn't I would be just as ignorant myself! I am entitled to that badge and I am going to f*****g use it!

My Dad did really well walking up some of Holmbury Hill and a small section of 'Barry Know's Best' considering his knee and thigh muscles playing him up. I said the more he does it the better it will be for him. I know he ain't young (66) but he is more healthy than I will ever be (if only he realized this himself). He just needed to get out and about more over the years since his divorce. But instead saw fit to carry on smoking like a chimney (he's given up now......doctors orders!.....Wouldn't listen to his kids) and pack up cycling......He used to cycle everywhere when he was a teddy boy in the 50's. Actually, I used to remember him cycling back in the very late 70's too. I remember seeing him off from my bedroom window to work first thing in the morning. He would don his cycle clips and scoot off up to the end of the Meadway and turn right towards where he worked. I would quickly run to the other side of the house and look out the back window and just see him cycle past the small gap in between the houses up Staines Road:) Why did he stop cycling? I have know idea....I think I will ask him. I might do a post soon all about my Dad. That should be interesting;) Just as I took the photo of my Dad & I on top of Holmbury Hill, a three legged dog came bounding over to say hello. I thought that even a dog missing a leg doesn't moan as much as my Dad;) My Dad does embarrass me sometimes. He asked the owners if the dog was alright and wondered how on earth this three legged dog actually manages. He can't see what's in front of him sometimes.....My Dad. Some of us deal with shit (most of us) and some of us just can't even begin to start dealing. I do Love my Dad & my Mum:)
You can't beat a good bit of excercise:) Even if it hurts a little. If I can't cycle my bike when I am 64 I will kill myself! Just as easy as that! Presuming I reach 64 that is;)
Talking about knee's & health........My Mum has a date for a knee replacement operation next month (March). She has been having trouble with her knee for several years now and the pain I see her in sometimes mirrors exactly the kind of pain that I feel most of the time. I feel for her but she is the same as me in that she is just sooo independant and won't ask for help and just gets on with the pain and doesn't moan about it one bit........unlike my Dad. I am so glad that I take after my Mum in that respect. You can't get anymore mentally stronger than my Mum & I. She is 64 next month btw. She is having a brand new kitchen & bathroom fitted over the next two weeks starting with the kitchen. I popped around to see the work in progress, just to make sure they are doing a 'Good' job. It seems they are. It will be great for my Mum to have a nice new bathroom & kitchen to come home to from the hospital. She does Love her little house:)
I was also out on my bike this afternoon (yesterday now....Thursday). Great weather and dry! There hasn't been any rain for at least two weeks.....just a tiny bit of snow! Hose pipe ban just around the corner me thinks;) The trail in Richmond Park was ever so grippy. Nice and fast & quiet too. I took a sandwich to eat whilst looking over the Thames from the 'Promanade' on Richmond HIll by Mick Jaggers place. And what a wonderful sunset over Teddington and Kingston! Did I tell you I saw Pete Townshend from 'The Who' coming out from his front door last week? I was cycling past his house 'The Wick' right at the top of Nightingale Lane on Richmond Hill and out he popped combing his hair. He was with his wife and after nodding to him with a smile, he nodded back with his own cool Mod smile and jumped into a VW Lupo. Why not the £80k Merc sitting right next to it;)
My God......don't these posts go on! I just remembered something from yesterdays bike ride. I met this bloke who was riding his mountain bike in the park and was stopped at the top of this particularly steep off-road climb. I stopped by him and said......puffing a little.....'Great View eh.' Obviously he agreed and we got talking for a bit about cycling and how the weather at the moment is particularly good right now for off-road cycling. He new all the trails up Leith, Holmbury & Pitch Hills in Surrey and even spoke of something called 'Golden Birdies'. What he was talking about was "Barry Know's Best". It actually has two names......probably more. It was good to talk to someone who knows the hills who is from my area. He was from Putney. Anyway......What I noticed instantly was the fact that he was wearing sandals.....the open toe kind. I didn't mention them to him as it was none of my business, but I could't help thinking of the time I wore very similar sandals when I had those horrid things growing on my toes from taking that god awful 'Indinavir' drug for my HIV. That was during the winter months too! I wonder what he was wearing sandals for? You just never know do you?



Jason






(C) JPT 2007

49th Injection & Wearing My Heart on My ......Tissue.

Signs of.........Life?


Waiting.........for the HCV viral load test results to my beautiful looking blood that was literally sucked out of me on Monday. I remember walking up the stairs from the Haemophilia Centre up to the first floor, then following the black line to where non-haemophiliac people go to get their blood taken. I don't know why I follow the black line as I know exactly where to go.........I have been doing it for the last 48wks. But......as I was walking up to the little window, then waiting for someone to come to the window to see me..."Smile! You're on camera" reads a sign,.....for the first time I actually looked at my blood in the little glass vial. I was more than impressed with the dark red colour of it and also the way it stuck to the sides of the glass when I turned the vial around in my hand. I tried to imagine what it would look like spattered all over a brilliant white wall. I have seen a fair bit of blood in my time and have even experimented with it........sucking out whole syringe fulls of the stuff and playing around with it.......feeling it, smelling it and watching it thicken & clot, eventually turning black as it is left out in the air. Not recently I might add. Just when I was bored a few years ago. I have never purposely tasted my own blood as I have tasted enough of the horrible tasting stuff due to bleeding gums caused after numerous dental visits over the years! I wouldn't make a very good Vampire!
As I stood there marvelling at the glass contained life giving (mostly) liquid, I hoped that there was one less virus lurking inside there. I still have the tiny skin coloured circular plaster that was laid carefully across my punctured vein. I never put a plaster on at home......ever. I never need them. I just use one section of loo paper to blot the needle hole right as I pull the needle out. If the toilet paper is good enough for my bottom........it's good enough for my vein.
The photograph I have included with todays post is of a piece of tissue the same kind that I use all the time.....except that with this particular one I noticed as I lifted the tissue from my vein and looked underneath it to see if it had stopped bleeding, the shape of a heart! This is why I have the photo.......I just had to take a picture of it. I took it back in April 2005 after an injection of prophylactic FactorVIII. The blood is still wet and it dried almost black.......more of a dark brown in colour. I still have the actual tissue somewhere. I promise you that this is exactly the way it looked right after I lifted it up. Let me apologize if you are not too keen on the sight of blood. Being a Haemophiliac.......I don't quite understand why the sight of blood has the effect that it does on some people. I am not squeamish in the least......not surprisingly. If anything, at least you know what a Haemophiliacs blood infected with HIV & HCV looks like.........Just like yours.
So, how do I feel........waiting for this news? Feels just like any other day I reckon. If I knew exactly when the phone call was going to be, it might be a different story. I don't have a clue when the call will come and this is fine with me. What if it has come back sometime between the 12wk test and last Mondays? I know how I will feel if it has come back.........rather moody and withdrawn for a few days.....maybe a week. But I know for a fact that I will soon forget about it and just get on with my life. I got cycling to do & kayaking also. I was out last night in fact, over Richmond Park way with my buddy Lee. We came across a giant snowball that was left over from Tuesday morning. Nowhere near as big as the one I came across in Bushy Park..........actually, it was square too! We just had to stop and play around with it. We ended up completely demolishing the thing. It was so much fun. There was snow flying everywhere. In our eyes & face, Our mouths. Lee shoved a whole bunch down into the top of my cycle helmet! Big kids or what:) We were headed for the Hills but because I was stuck for 3 hours yesterday afternoon in the waiting area of "Kwik-Fit" for some new tyres,..........they said 45 minutes! I was frozen. Don't these places have heating? Anyway, I got my new tyres.....three in fact. I needed them pretty badly! And what with the ice and snow......pretty much important. Less important is the fact that My favorite "Celebs" are still in the BB house after last nights eviction.......all I need to do now is vote for the one I want to win on Sunday.
I am still waiting also for the missing figures from Mondays "Normal" blood result. I will post them here on the Blog as soon as I get them through the letter box......for those of you who are interested anyway. All those numbers mean absolutely nothing to me. And update my previous post too with them.
Took the first of my two extra Interferon injections on Thursday night. Have know idea if they will actually do any good at all. But one never knows do they. My Hep C virus might just need that tiny little extra slap!


*********************************UPDATE**********************************

08:51 Saturday, 27th Jan 2007.

I did my bit.......still doing in fact! Admirably too I might add! So why the fuck then do I receive in the post, not just 20 minutes ago, a "With Compliments" Royal Free Hospital headed slip of paper, attached to those missing figures from last Mondays "Normal" blood results, with the words;- "Jason: Unfortunately your blood sample sent to biochemistry (LFT's, etc)
was unsuitable for processing, so we need to repeat the blood test when you are next able to come. Sorry about that. Paul.....blah blah blah."

I mean what the fuck are LFT's? What bastard blood sample is he talking about? The "Normal" one or my viral load one? I know why I am so pissed off! Apart from the fact that I can't understand just how my blood can be "Unsuitable" for processing! Unless of course the sample in question was left lying around somewhere in a warm lab, gradually turning my sample into a juicy vial shaped piece of black pudding that is! I mean why else? And apart from the fact that I don't know what blood sample he is talking about......because even those 'Missing' figures that the note was stapled to have 'Missing' figures still! It's not rocket science is it! But the main thing that is really pissing me off is that it is a Saturday morning and I can't phone him up until Monday morning to find out nor pop in to give him the repeat blood sample that he requests! I think I will have to ask Ross over on the forum what the hell LFT's are and what blood sample they come from.
The only thing that makes me think that he may be talking about the 'Normal' bloods and not the important viral load bloods are the fact that on the print out of figures taken from my normal bloods taken last Monday there are still levels like AST's , ALT's & Bilirubin missing. The only one that was missing from last Mondays bloods but is actually included in this mornings print out are my Neutrophils......which are 1.42. I need to ask someone........I will be back later...

Just PM'd Ross over on the forum......waiting reply. But having thought about it a little more and gotten my head around the figures & what Paul wrote etc, I am beginning to think that what he is talking about are the "Clinical Biochemistry" side of last Mondays "Normal" bloods as apposed to the "Full Blood Count" half of last Mondays bloods (hence the present Neutrophils and missing ALT's etc). But more importantly, not the "Viral Load" bloods! I know I may sound really pissed off with all this and these missing figures etc.......and I am! But why? Why am I so annoyed? They will get done again on Monday, so why? I must have so little in my life or I just cannot see the vast amout of wonderful things that I know I do have? But what is getting in my way then? How can this curtain exsist in the first place? I'm not ill, nor am I dying. I have all my family & friends around me, I have numerous others in exactly the same boat with me, I'm healthy, I can walk (most times).........& I am still alive and enjoying life...mostly. I will find out soon and post back...

...Ross says it is probably best to phone up the RFH first thing Monday and find out what sort of sample has gone for a burton. I was going to do that anyway.......I needed to know today though!

.....Monday 29th Jan....I just rang them up and my hunch was correct. The sample isn't the important 'Viral Load' sample and just my 'Clinical Biochemistry' sample. I still need to get those results re-done. So all that 'Being Pissed' was unnessecary in the end. I think that the end of the day I am pissed because I am fed up with hospital mistakes.......albeit a tiny one, but this is where they begin isn't it.


Not seeing the big picture for all the Bloody.........blood?


Jason






(C) JPT 2007

48th Interferon Injection & Still the Fat Lady sits in Silence...

Off scaring the gulls again...

Wow! What a windy day! Over ten people have died as a result of falling trees and lorry's being blown over on the motorways! Richmond Park & Bushy Park were closed due to the severe weather. Those parks are absolutely full of very old & rather large trees. I still went out this afternoon for over two hours on my bike. My goodness was it windy! I Loved being out in it....so exciting & fresh! Along the river on my way to Hampton Court Palace I came across a large tree that was completely stretched out across the path having fallen asleep. And then three more smaller trees further up. One tree I came across was still upright but down at the base you could see that it had been pushed slightly and the ground by the gravel path had been lifted about ten inches! I hung around for a while to see if it would fall.........it didn't. But you can bet your bottom dollar that it will be down tomorrow. I leant my bike up against it and got a photo. The last photo of that tree ever! I also saw a flock of Canadian Geese (probably the flock you saw UC) flying around in circles above the Palace. I imagine they had taken off not quite realising just how windy it was and were kinda stuck up there! They did look a little lost! The whole bike ride from beginning to end was littered with fallen branches. Good job I had a mountain bike then;)

That was earlier....... Right now I am Just preparing myself to take my 48th Interferon injection to rid myself of this Hep C. Up until quite recently this 48th injection was due to be my last one and then a week extra of Ribavirin. But as some of you already know, I inadvertently received two extra Interferon injections back on the 12th December and.....well.....I am taking these too. With absolutely nothing to loose and not wanting them to go to waste I will be using them up. Hopefully helping me get rid of this virus once and for all. My post tx bloods won't be affected. Actually I am due up sometime next week, the week of my 36th Birthday. I rang up about a week ago and they just said to come up any day during that week. I chose Monday 22nd Jan (I'm f****d if I am going up there on my Birthday;). I don't know how long the results will take to come back.......judging by my 12wk blood results.....about 3 weeks. And if all is well and the virus has gone and done a runner, then July's post-tx bloods will be the big one. But for now I will just be getting on with my treatment mini-extension and I expect that somewhere in the back of my mind I will be hoping for an "All clear" from the 22nd's bloods. I say "expect" just because it is something I don't normally think about. I will just get a phone call to either come up or they will tell me over the phone......actually, how do they do it? Do they tell you these kind's of results over the phone? I shouldn't have thought so. So a phone call for me to go up it will be then. I most certainly won't be waitng for the phone to ring but let me assure you, my train ride up once they do have the results to the RFH will be full of tension!
But as I said, in the meantime I will just continue to get on with my usual stuff, the extra two shots, cycling, the blog and trying to deal with the pain in my ankles (especially at night when I am trying to sleep). Oh....& trying to get to grips with my new digital camera (Canon Powershot G7). As you can see from the photo (first one from my new camera used in my blog) above I have been experimenting with it down by the river in Kingston. I took this photo of the young Swan yesterday afternoon.....I hope I've still got it;) All I can think is that the poor thing saw my ugly mush and decided to scarper pronto! I know exactly where he/she was going.......Bushy Park & Hampton Court Palace is just around the bend in the river (where I was cycling tonight)......a much more picturesque setting for a young Swan to spend his/her time and much less noisy too.

So, it looks like I won't be heading for the "Post Treatment Experience" section on the forum just yet. That won't be until the 8th Feb when I have taken my last Ribavirin tablets. There is no anti-climax thing going on here at all. I wasn't planning any parties or celebrations as such. Another couple of weeks will soon fly by, as all the other 48 have done so before. I honestly feel......physically this is......that I finished tx months ago. Although I am curious to know how I will feel once I have finished the drugs, I still think that I won't feel too many, if any differences at all. I have been one of the very luck few......& don't I know it! It pains me very much knowing just how many people are having a terrible time! It is my HIV drugs that affect me....did before treatment and during too. They didn't seem to get any worse nor do I expect them to go away once I am done with the Hep C stuff. Maybe they even helped me regarding just how little side effects I witnessed from the Hep C meds. Of course I shall never know, not unless I do the whole 48wks again but without my HIV meds & I don't think that will ever happen. The last time I saw the BBC news know one was saying they had found a cure for HIV;)
I was out at a restuarant with my friend Jac last night and as per usual around 21:15 my HIV drugs kicked in and we got talking about the way they make me feel. She asked me what I was feeling. I didn't even try to explain as I just cannot explain. When I have tried in the past, I just sound silly as I just find it so very difficult. I suppose I could look through the side effect leaflet that comes with my HIV meds but what would the point be? I'm not going to stop taking them.
Let's just say that the feeling they give me, both mental & physical are neither good nor bad. And I know it will go away by midnight too. That is all I can say really.

Injection time (be back in a few minutes)................all done! Just two more to go...

Before I go off to bed for some "Boosh" I just wanted to say hi to Mark from "The Redlands Trails" who commented on my Blog the other day. He helps maintain most of the trails that I frequent up in the Surrey Hills on my mountain bike. And also to say just how much your trails, especially BKB & Summer Lightning are appreciated. And there is one going right through the middle of Pitch Hill that I really enjoy also (don't know if it has a name).........Thanks guys.

Oh, I forgot to mention...........The hose pipe ban that was put in place back in April 2006 has been lifted as from 8am this morning. I have gotten quite used to using a bucket to wash my bike and car during the ban, but that hose pipe will come in handy on the days that my bike is particularly bad.........which is quite often. And "Celebrity Big Brother" that I have been enjoying since the first week in Jan is hotting up. I'd Love to know how I would fair inside the Big Brother house. Do you think they would let someone in there with my colourful range of health problems...........no, nor did I think so either;)
And also it looks as if I will get up to 60 days in the US instead of 30 soon according to the White House. Don't they realize that all I need to infect someone is just the one day? Sort it out Bush!

More news..........(Mailny so my post doen't end in the word BUSH;) - All last weekend & all this week I have had a moutful of ulcers! No sobad in it's self, because beleive me when I say they have been worse! But to top it all of I wake up with a "break-through" coldsore on my top lip! Christ that came up fast! They say that if you catch it when you first feel the tingling sensation wth Zovirax, that it should go very quickly...........Tingling? What tingling? The only tingling sensation was from a stray nose hair tickling the inside of my hooter;) Anyway.......it's covered with Zovirax now. Bastard things........you would think that I would be used to them having had millions of the buggers over the last 20 odd years. Mustn't grumble mind.......it could be cystitis or diarrhea!

(So what do I end the post with instead of Bush?.............There's no difference really;) (Let me apologize to any Bush Lovers out there;)


Jason






(C) JPT 2007

47th Injection & Cool Dark Places...

One medium potato......tonight.



Just the one injection left now. I am going to miss those little pricks;) Ok, maybe not the pricks, but definitely the late Thursday night routine that is firstly to follow the sounds of my mobile phone and changing the alarm set to 23:15 (from 20:27 previously) to 23:27 then taking out from my fridge the little syringe full of Interferon a needle & a Sterit. I walk back into the living room and place it on the arm of my sofa and wait (usually in front of my trusty Mac)) until the alarm goes off again. The next thing is to change the alarm now to 08:27 for my morning pills. Now with my injection at a suitable room temperature the thing is ready to inject. Sat on either the arm or the long back of my sofa now (on which side depends which side of my body is due for injecting) The area of skin on my side (Love handle basically) is swabbed and left to dry for a few seconds while I attatch the needle to the tiny syringe. I might also add that I always inject topless (calm down ladies;) as it is so much easier without a shirt or something draping in the way. I pinch about an inch of flesh between my thumb & index finger and gently slide the needle at a 45 degree angle into the scampi sized lump. No pain.......it's quite interesting watching the needle disappear the way it does......all the way in until I can't see any metal at all. Then in goes the pretty red plunger, quite slowly (probably about 10 seconds) all the Interferon is invited into my body. Everything and including the air is now inside me. I leave the needle in there for another 10 seconds then pull it all out. With no blood or mark for that matter, I stand up and go back to the kitchen and mark the syringe with the number that it was (47 in this case) and pop it into the box in the cupboard with the other 46.

That's it.

What will I do now? Oh Thursday nights, what will I do?............Exactly....nothing;) Sitting on my computer I expect, writing a post or poem maybe for on here or perhaps checking out the Forum to see what's going on there. Oh, and not forgetting my dreams too. Whatever I will be doing, at least I know that I will feel the same as I always do at this time of day. I can never really explain the way I feel, but when I tried to with my Sister Tania once she said that from what I had said it sounds like what it's like when you are on E. I have never done E but my Sister has in the past. Not a good drug at all!
I know why I feel like this. My HIV drugs are to blame but these feelings are tolerable and I know they will go away by about midnight. It happens just in the evening too. I take a slightly different cocktail in the morning, plus right after my AM pills I go straight back to sleep. I have been getting these feelings for several years now................I'm boring myself just even writing about it.

I was out on my bike last night, just a local ride. I was sitting at my desk playing around with a photo on Photoshop and POW! Power out! Nothing.........pitch bloody black! That's it I thought...........got out my torch and found all my cycling gear, put it on, grabbed my i-pod and went out for a ride (potatoes are fine during power outs; "Store in a cool dark place" is what it says on the bag, so I wasn't too worried about leaving them). It was quite exciting really. All the houses and flats between Kingston Bridge and Teddington Lock but inbetween Broom Rd and the Thames were without power! My lights are pretty good normally but being out in that kind of darkness was a little like being up in the Surrey Hills. Actually, I did notice that Teddington Studios had power and they are down the same road as me. It must be nice if you have your own back up power eh. Like me and my torch;)
Not a bad ride.........quick too & warm but getting cooler again........& about bloody time too! I was back home inside an hour and even when cycling past Teddington Lock & the studios (where "The Office" was filmed) I could see that the electricity was back on where I live. With my potatoes already at peace, I was too now knowing my Interferon & FactorVIII was ok.........& my humus (I'm back eating it again....a nice caralemized red onion flavour), chicken, grapes (they gotta be cold & crunchy like tiny little apples) and my blood red orange juice!

So on to today. Could this have been the most boring day in history since the potato was first invented?.......Let me explain. I have ordered a new digital camera from the internet and they said it will arrive either today or Friday (tomorrow). Well it didn't arrive today, so the whole day was wasted! Now I have the prospect of waiting in all day tomorrow too. Could Friday equal the potato? I do hope not. According to my "special" tracking number I have access to (via the internet) it was with DHL at a Paris airport around 22:36 tonight wating to be shipped out to Heathrow - right by where I live) What I really hope is that it arrives first thing in the morning...........hang on, no not first thing. Perhaps around 11am would be a better time. Before lunchtime anyway. It better be here before 7pm as I am going out to "The Hills" with Lee with our bikes (after a 22 mile drive that is).
I can't wait to see what the camera is like. It has 10 mega pixels and is made by Canon. Where can you go wrong with that eh?

Potatoes aside...........The cold will be along soon you'll see!


Jason

P.s. The potato in the photo (aahh, that rhymes) was actually from my fridge..........Potato fans please don't worry! He is back safely where he lives.........ready for a mashing he he;)





(C) JPT 2007

46th Injection & Miserable Sod's...

Bushy Park, New Year's Eve 2006.


How cruel is that eh? Just in a mood is all. Nothing I can do about it.......strange thing is that I have absolutely no reason for it at all......no excuse whatsoever! I don't have any noise coming from my nextdoor neighbour.....nor do I feel ill, nor have I just lost anyone close to me recently. So why this shitty mood? I went to pump my Mums tyres up on her bike as she hasn't used it for a while becuase of her knee. I was as short as a legless ant! She tried to tell me about her new kitchen & bathroom she was having fitted soon and all I could do was moan about how much of a rubbish job they will do (being council and all).
She asked me at the front door why the shitty mood................I just said........Why not? (What an arsehole!)

Sorry mum! (BTW-I rang earlier and said I was sorry).

Do you think my mood had anything to do with the two little dreams I had this morning?
The first dream I was with my Dad. We were investigating the corridors of a half finished office block...........when we got outside we saw an aeroplane in the sky just above some rooftops (it was light & sunny outside). We were amazed when it turned over onto it's back and disappeard behind the buildings entirely when all of a sudden there was an almighty crash and pieces of wreckage flew up into the air. We made our way to the crash site and soon discovered that it was just a model that looked real!
The second dream found me standing at a cash machine that I was trying to use which then began to malfunction and it seemed I could reach in and take the money! It was full up to the brim with unused notes. A woman approached me and looked as if she wanted something. She looked at me then at the slot where the card goes. I asked her if she was alright and she said that she left her card in the machine. I told her that it wasn't there when I attempted to insert my card and asked her if she got any money out. She hadn't. I tried to stand in the way of the money so she wouldn't see. But it was useless as the money started to fall out onto the ground........big wads of it. There was a phone number printed onto the machine that you could ring in case something like this happened & I was pondering wether to take the money and run or phone the number and hang around, look after the money until the Police arrived and maybe get a reward? All at the same time wishing that I had been the only one there so I could take the money and keep it all!

The bloody postman knocked on my frontdoor and woke me up!

Or maybe this mood stems from the pain I have been experiencing in my ankle the last few days! It hurt like hell last night! I treated it before and after my bike ride and almost certainly prevented a bad bleed! I did my local route around Richmond Park of about 14 miles. It felt more like 30 miles though due to the strong winds and a little rain. The temperature too was well above average for the time of year! It was just like being boiled in my pants!

So what do I do once I leave my Mums? I visit two local cemeteries to find something specific to photograph for a post I am writing for my Blog. Probably not the best move in the world! I didn't find what I was looking for either! I was amazed though at just how many graves were beginning to sink into the ground! They look like concrete ships frozen in a rolling sea of grass & dead flowers. I felt as if I should have been wearing a life jacket;) Actually, after a closer inspection I also noticed that the graves that were most uneven were the newest graves! It must be quite saddening for visitors to see their Loved ones graves like this! Me though..........I would be quite happy to be dragged off by hungry foxes when I am dead........or a revengeful Badger;)

On to my Hep C treatment. I have just taken my 46th Interferon injection and as usual it went in painless and leak free. I even filmed the whole episode on my video camera. I numbered the syringe with a permenent marker and put it with all my other syringes.
It may sound odd if a little morbid too but I am going to miss this Hep C tx routine! At the same time though I am looking forward to maybe going away abroad this year for some sun & sea. One thing is for sure..............My Blog ain't going nowhere!!!! Even that sounds negative! What I mean is is that I won't stop my Blog when I have finished tx. It has never even crossed my mind. Besides, my blog has never been just about my Hep C tx. This Blog dies when I do!
I have come across so many Blogs over the last several months most of which have although are still accessible are no longer being updated. I'm not talking about gaps of weeks or months but some haven't been updated for nearly a year or more. It is a shame really as I'd Love to know the rest of their stories. They have their reasons I suppose.

Still no side effects I might add.............ok, maybe the mood I am in has something to do with my tx.


Jason

P.s. The photograph for this post I took last thing on new year's eve just gone. It is my favorite tree in Bushy Park in between the cricket pitch & Woodland Gardens. Although it doesn't look it.......it was very windy and raining quite heavy too. I brightened it up a little as I thought it needed it......like I do;)





(C) JPT 2007

45th Injection & a Little S&M(ile)...

"Smile" stencil, Hounslow, Middlesex, yesterday.



S&M? I here you all cry. Whats our Jason doing? A little S&M?
It all depends really what you take S&M to mean I suppose. Ok, a little less "S" and maybe more"M" is what I am trying to say. Any Haemophiliac will tell you that sticking very sharp needles into oneself on a weekly, sometimes daily basis is a little masochistic to say the least. But do we enjoy it? Yes I suppose we do. I do anyway.....not in the usual meaning for masochism I don't! Definitely not. And they go into my vein and nowhere else I think I ought to add;) But I do get the satisfaction (especially during a very bad bleed) of knowing that by doing so will make the pain go away whereas painkillers just cannot accommodate.
As I was walking over Kingston Bridge into Bentalls I was thinking just how glad I was to have left my car the otherside of it and how I was glad not to have ventured too far beyond the point of no return when parking my car and getting stuck in the longest, slowest, noisiest & most solid line of cars that I have ever seen, all doing a little post-Christmas shopping maybe?.......More like taking that god awful jumper back to where it jolly well belongs - "S&M".........sorry, I meant "M&S" this time;)....or that keep fit DVD that....well.....will never ever get used;). "I am not a sadist" I was saying to myself walking casually by an idling Porche 911 Turbo making it's frog like way to find a non-existible parking place on the otherside of the bridge. I walked by quite a few cars in fact just like that one. All of them seemingly going backwards. All the while I was walking over the bridge watching a very orange and large setting sun (one of the last this year) and marvelling at it's beauty. I saw some ducks floating in the Thames full up from eating too much Christmas pudding - they made me smile;) I noticed a plaque on the bridge that said "This bridge was built in 1828 and replaces a much earlier wooden bridge that was knocked down deliberately in 1554 to stop some bloke called Thomas Wyatt & his rebels from crossing it".........."I am not a sadist" I said to myself once again...........& I was right. I was over the bridge and inside Bentalls within 10 minutes with no sign of Mr Wyatt and not one of his rebels showed up to stop me either;) It felt good to know that the Porche & his friends were most probably still on the bridge falling into a deep, exhaust fume induced coma. Let the sleeping dogs lie..........forever!
My feet were already aching before I left the comfort of my car by Hampton Wick train Station and by the time I was over the bridge they were hurting but from experience I new that I would be fine just so long as I kept a good eye on the pavement to make sure I wasn't going to step on anything resembling a miniature Beachy Head inbetween the paving slabs! Besides, if it really came to it I new I could always catch the train back to Hampton Wick from Kingston (just one stop) but I was feeling more than confident I wouldn't need to. The pain us Haemophiliacs put up with eh.......just so we don't have to sit in gridlock getting all wound up over the way the twat in front treats his car like a Formula One racing car everytime there is a gap to fill as the traffic slowly moves forward making little car sized gaps to be filled as quickly as possible. So a little pain has got to be better than that hasn't it? A little more of some of that "M" again didn't do anyone any harm did it. If I had been in the safety of my car behind what is normally several Michael Schumacher's all in a line it would have been more "S" than "M" and yes.........I would of enjoyed every minute of it slamming their heads together in a kind of mass Formula One race team orgy;)
The actual shopping experience too was on my mind as I walked over that bridge. I new it was going to be busy (F**k was it ever!) but I didn't mind too much and didn't need to rush about trying to get back home for a bike ride as I had been out the night before (see last post). And all I was there for was to take a polo shirt I had gotten from my friend Jac back to get the electronic security tag off that was still connected to it! She heard the alarm go off as she walked out and didn't think anything of it.......neither did the security officer it seems.
I even (very briefly) considered keeping the tag (ruining the shirt) but I just thought of all the fun I could have had with that tag waiting outside the store for someone coming out carrying several bags and watching them look down at their bags as the alarm goes off, then looking up at everyone else around them who are staring at the bag holder who is facially saying "I didn't steal anything" "I'm not a thief." & then being asked to empty all 9 shopping bags to look for "alleged" stolen DVD of "Desperate Housewives". We've all been through it and I wonder why we all look so guilty when it does happen since we know damn well we hadn't stolen anything.........or had we;) (I must remember not to miss my next "Kleptomaniacs Anonymous" meeting;) But I soon forgot about the whole idea as practically thinking, I would only be able to do it the once (don't forget, I would have to try and get out of the store again myself) so I opted to keep the shirt because a) I can wear the shirt on numerous occasions and b) I Love it too:)

I got my shirt sorted (the whole reason I was there in the first place) and what usually happens when you go shopping for just the one thing? You guessed it.........I eneded up buying padded undershorts (2 pairs) for cycling, 3 new pillows, 1 kingsize mattress protector, 1 10.5 tog duvet, 1 can of de-greaser for cleaning my bike chain.....all of which resulted in a trip back over the bridge (hello Mr Porche) to my car to free my hands for more shopping.........more "M" it seems:)

Then later on I was sticking more needles into my flesh with the completion of my 45th Interferon injection at 23:30 last night (Thursday) after inflicting more "S&M" on my brain with 2 hours of the Christmas "The Big Fat Quiz of the Year". Brilliant stuff! That was the best tv I saw over the whole Christmas period. David Walliams & Rob Brydon were brilliant and Russell Brand & Noel Fielding wonderful. My 45th injection went very well and I even took a photo of this one sticking out of my side. For some strange bloody reason I am beginning to feel a little emotional knowing it will all be over in 3 weeks. You never know.......I may get to do the whole 48wks all over again someday. I'd rather not but at least I know I can easily do it.

But if you're not into "S&M", take away the Ampersand, add a little I, an L ( the bent at the bottom sort) & also pop an E on the end for good measure:)

If you're interested, the photo I took of the "Smile" stencil was sprayed onto the side of "The North Star" public house opposite Hounslow railway station. The whole stencil from the bottom of the "girl" to the top of the word "smile" is about 4ft high. My Sister Tania found it and told me about it thinking it was an original Banksy stencil. It's good but I don't think it is a Banksy. I have seen numerous Banksy's and you can just tell.......plus he usually signs them.


Jason






(C) JPT 2006

44th Injection & "Satan in My Arms..."

Winter Solstice, Holmbury Hill this afternoon.

What the hell is going on here then! And who's hands are these hovering over the vein in the crook of my right elbow? I can't see a face.......I don't even think of looking up! I have never been one to look up.....I need.....no, NEED to see where I am placing my feet and their ever so delicate ankles, I don't like people looking at me, so I look down to avoid being seen, I look for cracks in the paving slabs......I cannot afford to step on one.....if I do I will die of a horrible HIV related death.....or turn a dark shade of yellow with liver failure.....and die!
I am in shock! I can't even begin to breathe.....not until this nightmare is over! Who's hands are they? Why my right arm? I have not used my right arm for what must be at least 15 years. I over used it........so much so that it seemed to collapse and failed completely as a vein! I switched arms at this point all the way over to my left arm where I am still spiking today. I started off in my hands! The back of them.....but this was just too painful and it always felt as though I was being injected into the bone!
So why the strange hands?......why my right arm?......and why me? This vein is such a pathetic vein! Tiny....defenceless....naked....scared & scarred.....resting from years of abuse and humiliation! After all.....this vein is the one that let in the Devil! Oh yes! He came alright, snuck into my body and into my head through this innocent little doorway! He brought along a few friends too.....playing games inside me they are.....deep down in the furthest part of my heart and soul where they won't be found.
These strange hands and their rough fingers prepare my tiny doorway for entry once again! My eyes are as wide as saucers.......I wan't to shut them and look away.....but am compelled to watch....I need to see what happens, just in case I can do something....anything to stop this! My entire arm is locked out in front of me......I can feel the prickly surface of the skin on these strange hands and their abusing fingers. They are dirty and weathered......long uneven nails filled with black!
I find my left hand clutching the fabric of my trousers......My nails dig in deep! It hurts me to grip so hard and I feel my nails cutting into my flesh! My vein is being pulled back tight......one of the hands grip my upper arm with tremendous strength.....I feel as though my hand is going to explode. I try hard not to look away again! My eyes are burning a whole in my vein! It begins to swell with blood....it feels wierd.......It isn't used to having so much blood running through it. My teeth are clenched and I am afraid they will crumble inside my mouth.
Then I see the needle! Long needle, blunt needle.....jagged mouth wide open! Dirty, used, stained with rust or blood or skin.......Filthy! Little drips of fluid fall onto my pale white skin and slowly drip down the side of my arm coming to rest in my hairs. The needle is only inches away from my vein now. The needle looks a bit like an old and war torn aeroplane back from it's killing spree coming into land on a runway of skin and scar.
My head is spinning......my eyes dry out.........tears begin to fall and soothe them. The needle slowly pushes into my arm........ I feel the rust scratching on my vein!.....Another of the Devils friends has come inside me.....AaaaaaahhhhHHH!!!!!........My arm feels like it is full of molten lead!.............I faint from exhaustion & agony!


Jason

P.s. 44th Interferon injection all done and dusted (10 minutes ago).......just 4 more to go.





(C) JPT 2006

Forty-two? "That's it. That's all there is."

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have (apart from his Factor VIII, HIV drugs & Interferon/Ribavirin cocktail that is). Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush (free of blood mind), face flannel (same here), soap (sans pubes), tin of biscuits (dark chocolate Digestives), flask (made by Nasa), compass (prefrably one that has North on it), map (free of snail stowaways), ball of string (Larger than a rolled up bogey & smaller than Jupiter), gnat spray (scent free), wet weather gear (it will be raining!), space suit (holes repaired) etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.


'You know, I've always felt that there was something fundamentally wrong with the Universe'.

But that hasn't stopped me from walking to my fridge (it's cold in there) just now and fetching my 42nd Interferon injection from the right hand side fruit & vegetable drawer at the bottom. No fruit or veg have ever been in there I might add (ok! Maybe a grape or two). Just a well needed & appreciated conveyor belt of Factor VIII, Ritonavir HIV capsules and a steady supply of my 'Interfering Interferon Virus Slaying Maniacs".
Although the time right now is 23:44 here in London, when I eventually post this it will be tomorrow when I have found a suitable photo to go with it from my vast library of snaps. But I can assure you that I have just done my 42nd jab and like all the rest (I am now sounding like a broken record) went in like all the others before it. I completely & utterly expect to feel the same as I always do in the next 7 days. Is there anything in that little syringe or have I been injecting little tiny amounts of water into my soft skin? Because it feels like it.
I remember on the odd occasion during an injection of Factor VIII into my vein and sometimes.....just sometimes the needle would go straight through the vein and all of a sudden there would be a big lump where the needle went in, a small amount of Factor VIII just sitting there in my flesh not having anywhere to go! And the F*****g pain too!!! OUCH!!! Sting with a capital S!!! Just 2ml or maybe as much as 5ml at the most depending how fast or slow I was pushing the stuff in would be bulging out at me to STOP PUSHING!! The bulge would go down eventually, but I just didn't need that sort of thing happening!
I was in pain probably at the time and it would have definitley effected the way I treated myself. Fortunately these occurances are few and far between. Although just the other day I did it with this new Factor VIII and I noticed this big lump develop and I couldn't feel anything! So maybe my Factor VII is just water too;) They say water is good for you;)

So, that is that, and that means just the 6 injections left.

'Not Life, not the Universe and not Everything'

Just a post is all.

Jason





(C) JPT 2006

41st Injection.......7 more left!

Falling nicely thank you. Brixton, 2004.


Pleasantly falling under my trusty but small parachute. That is the way I have been doing things and that is the way I wanted things to happen. I can't complain, so I won't......besides, I have absolutely nothing to complain about! These Interferon injections are sailing by without so much as a blink or kiss. No scars, no pain and no leaks and maybe no virus either. That will be nice. I'd like some of that on toast.
Maybe there is no bread in the bread bin...........so be it! Next time maybe.

I got another NAM newsletter through the post this morning. NAM (aids treatment update) meaning National Aids Magazine I think? I have been recieving them every month for years and I don't quite know what it stands for! I hardly ever read them either. I check out the index and usually throw them out. I am well so what do I need to know about aids? I don't feel as though I have it, I just know that I do (the important thing) and that I am treating it in the best and strictest way that one can! I am such a stickler for adherence and that is why I am still around maybe. Keep fit and eat healthy, don't smoke and do not drink alcohol! Well just as well I have been doing those things for years. A perfect study case I may be. Perhaps thats why I am finding the Hep C tx so easy going. But overall it isn't easy at times and along with Hep C and Haemophilia things are made more difficult, but I manage somehow.
I shall always have my HIV to deal with if I manage to put the HCV to slaughter! Nearly there, just a few more to go. It may seem that it must be quite easy to keep this HIV tamed so to speak, but one really does need to be very strict with drug regimes etc.................Just realised that it is "World Aids Day", just goes to show how much I think about Aids outside of just basically taking my drugs and keeping fit et al. I have never been one for "World Days" except for "World Towel Day" in recognition of the late great Douglas Noel Adams of "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" fame. Details are down the right hand side of my blog in the "Websites that make me tick" section.
Anyway, enough about HIV!.............So boring! Give me the drugs and I will take them. Ask for my blood and I shall let you have a sample. But give me a Doctors appointment up at the RFH at 09:10 and I will tell you where to go!

Bloody hell! It's December already! I most certainly are not in the Christmas spirit yet! I might put my tree up soon and switch on the string of white lights I have hugging the skirting board of my living room too. I am going to make a few Christmas cards soon. Last year I did some. I use a craft knife to cut out words or trees and stars etc. Nothing too intricate but my right arm hurts quite a bit from it! I will probably use the same template from last years card. Or just buy them one like everyone else;)
What I am mostly looking forward to by far is being with my family over the three days that are Dec 25th, 26th and New Years Eve too:) Nice food and nice conversation (mostly) and watching Millie with her new toys:) Oh, and watching my Dad chew each of his mouthfuls of dinner for ten minutes looking exactly like a cow chewing grass;) Yes I know I said my Mum & Dad had divorced back in about 79 or so but they are still local to each other and still see one another at times like this amongst others. Actually I was at his last night playing golf on the PS2 and as always (well, mostly) I beat him.

God my bloody knee! I want to go out on my bike.......even in the pouring rain! But I need to stay off it! Shit my poxy bloody knee! How long will this take to heal? I will need to go out soon or I will implode or something. It has only been since Tuesday, but with no sight of my next ride I am already beginning to feel terribly isolated and pissed off! I looked up all about knee injuries and my knee is nowhere near as bad as the symptoms suggested there. I should be in quite a bit of pain and unable to walk etc. I think maybe I was lucky and stopped moving the knee just in time to prevent any proper damage. I did recognize what they said about the popping sound and grating feeling of bone and pain as the initial injury takes place etc, but the pain is gone and there is no swelling. Although I can feel some kind of buzzing, tingling sensation where it happened.................Boring!

I'd just like to apologize for the most boring post in the whole of Blogland and beyond!

Jason




(C) JPT 2006

9 injections to go & Glass repellent sandals....

The Warm, Sandy Beach of Innocence.....The countdown begins!


Look who got himself a brand new scanner this morning:) I only ordered the thing last night from an internet based company called dabs.com. I have been meaning to get myself a scanner for sometime now, as I have a fair few photos taken over the years of myself and My Sisters etc. I have quite a few I took too before I went digital, mostly crap but important nonetheless......I hate film cameras! There are quite a few polaroids that my Dad took when we were kids. I want to scan all of them so they don't fade anymore! I will be posting (starting today) a selection of pics from when I was a kid, in future posts.
I chose this photo today because, well, it was one of the first I got out the bag and I like it too:) Notice the Star Wars T-shirt on the little Mighty C (circa 78). I had loads of t-shirts like this including Liverpool Football club & Buck Rogers Pj's. But what I find most interesting about this photo is the premonitionary position (not what it sounds like;) of my elder Sister Samantha. She seems to be hiding in the back......She is the only one of my three Sisters to move away from London. My other two Sisters are within 5 minutes of me, including our Mum & Dad (divorced back when we were kids). I think you can tell which is my Twin Nicola (on my left), by the way we are standing next to each other. She has a pretty cool Witch t-shirt on. My youngest Sister Tania (74) with the giant red dummy is wearing her Mr Men t-shirt & Samantha (69) has got on an Apache Indian one on (looking like she is stamping her foot down in the water having a bit of a sulk)
Also, there are some not so obvious indications that there is a Haemophiliac standing there in the sand. Did you spot the strip of white tape holding on a lump of cotton wool onto a needle hole in my right elbow? This is from an injection of Factor VIII taken just a few hours before to prevent a "bleed" whilst I was out mucking around in the sand somewhere near Perranporth, Cornwall. I did the injection myself:) I still have some Haemophilia shooting gear from around the time this photo was taken. I am going to write (with photos) a retro post sometime soon. I have this sterilized water for FVIII injections, still unopened in it's original box.........these are like so precious to me as they contain clean, un-contaminated water from before I got a little lost! Things like that and My Star Wars figures & Millennium Falcon are priceless to me! I want to thank my Mum & Dad for not chucking them out.
Not only are there the tell tale signs of an injection.........Did you notice something odd about all of our feet? You guessed it......I am the only one wearing sandals. I was never allowed to go bare footed, especially on a beach, incase of glass and other things like barbed wire, wood splinters & sharp stones........The kind of things that you might find on an English beach;)

I must say, looking at these photos are just like looking into a deep, almost bottomless hole where all things good are waiting! But with great skill, can still be reached with an imaginary ladder to my childhood.......very emotional stuff!

So......expect to see more little photos of your's truly in the near future:)

I am off out tonight in the rain and wind for a little bike ride with my pal Lee. Just a local stint around Richmond Park. I was in Bushy Park on Wednesday in similar conditions and my foot slipped off the pedal which then proceeded to smack into my little boney shin! OUCH!!!! But it was a nice ride and refreshing too:) Also, I spent the last two days looking for that FVIII gear I told you about earlier. I had put it away about two years ago and just could not remember where I had stashed it. I new I had it though and all I had to do was look through about 20 boxes and numerous drawers & cupboards.....and a shed! And look I did.....for two days until I found them! I really don't know why these things are so important to me! Maybe something to do with.........I don't know......Time machine anyone?

I did my 39th Interferon injection last night too. It went in, as usual, without any pain or leakages. Nine more to go and then what? Six more months waiting to see if it has gone? I shall miss this daily, weekly routine I think. Sounds absurd I know........But I is I and That is That I suppose. Then I will still be left with HIV and rotten joints & Haemophilia to keep me occupied. I don't think they are going anywhere just yet;)

P.s. (22:29 tonight) I didn't go for a bike ride in the end. It poured and then some, so my friend Lee phoned and cancelled. He came round instead and we checked out my new scanner:) Big boy's and their toy's eh;)

Jason

36th injection & Clan de Fang

Water....clean.....fresh.....cold......wet......MMMmmmm!

Since last Sunday, when I was out up on Pitch Hill, I have been doing some interesting things. For me anyway.
On Monday, I was offered 3 tickets (thanks Naif) to see "Little Britain" Live at the Apollo in Hammersmith. I jumped at the chance:) I would've preferred "The Mighty Boosh" but Matt, David & the voice of Tom Baker was a very welcome night out! I don't go out much these days. I used to go to see live bands quite often, but the smoke became all too much in the end. I kept getting very bad ulcers on the side of my tongue the morning after & swollen glands......in my throat!
I took my friend Jac as she has the same sense of humour as me. She wasn't at work that day too, which was a bonus.
So.....Off we both went. We had a short amount of time to get from Teddington to Finchley Central, then back to Hammersmith. It was a good journey, as Jac & I really like to "People Watch".
Eventually we got to the venue, sat down.........30 seconds later Lou walked on with an Andy'less wheelchair! Perfect timing!
Andy appeared from up in the rafters on cables:)
Great fun! (by the way, the 3rd ticket did a good job of keeping me away from the rest of the audience;)

Tuesday I was subjected to numerous kamikaze Rabbits along the towpath by Hampton Court! They are hellbent on pushing me into the river I am certain!
Those red leaves I photographed the other week have taken a screaming leap (Monty Python style) to their imminent Autumnal deaths! There are a few browny/yellowy leaves left. Bloody things are scared of the landing;)

Wednesday evening I had a Lovely meal with my upstairs neighbours. They are such wonderful peeps:) Wonderful food too:)

Thursday was my "Clan de Fang" afternoon. I met up with Guy from the forum at his home in Putney. It is only 9 miles away from my flat. He took me out to a Lovely Persian tea shop and bought me lunch. Guy is a very charming man. He says that he is 48 years old! Never did a 48 year old man greet me at the door! He looks 10 years younger! Has a great sense of humour too. It was wonderful meeting someone from the forum. I also spoke to Guys girlfriend Minerva on the phone. As you all know, she too is a wonderful person. She has a very sweet sounding voice & a Lovely accent:) It seems the three of us are going to meet up soon, when Minerva is down from Scotland visiting Guy. I am looking forward to it:)
Then later, after a quick figure of 8 via Bushy Park, Kingston Bridge & Teddington Lock on my bike, I spoke to another member from the forum. Ivani had seen that I was a Star Wars fan and said that her Son Ryan too was a fan. So we spoke on the phone for a while. Ryan is 14 and certainly does know his Star Wars! He put me to shame!
Ivani has had a very colourful life over the years and despite having a tough time on tx, she is most certainly on the right tracks now. She too has a Lovely accent and is a very Lovely person. I will have to pop over to visit them someday. They are in Watford, where they seem to be quite happy now:)

Last night also saw me squirt my 36th Interferon injection into my side, rendering another Interferon box.......empty:) The 9th box to be precise. These numbers are numbers that make me feel very comfortable. My whole life seems to revolve around the way I breathe in germs & pollution, certain letters of the alphabet and what the "Numbers" are up to! 9 is a good number for me! It is a very reliable number and always comes back around to itself:) It was invented just for me!
So........Very lucky and forever thankful, I am side effect free! I only wish that I could share some of it with others!

Jason

P.s. I had a very vivid dream this morning and will post it later. I feel I have to write them out sometimes. I really do believe that they mean a lot to me! It is quite a graphic dream. I will add a warning at the start so don't worry!

35th Injection & Sleeping Trees...

Richmond Park, last Wednesday.

Thursday saw my 35th Interferon injection out of 48. I just cannot believe how 'normal' I feel! Do I feel a bit guilty? Yes I do! I know for a fact that it isn't that easy and some who are on exactly the same tx have some real terrible times! I read about them often on a Hep C Forum I visit. I feel for all of them! On there too are some absolutely wonderful people who care beyond belief that they are alright and do everything they can to help them feel better.....With advice, warm words and comfort....All from personal experiences too. They have all been through it one way or another. I feel very safe knowing that I too have these folk to help me if needed. Thanks guys & gals:)

Pain has come along and shoved his ugly face in my general direction on numerous occasions over the decades, years, weeks & days! Actually, not a single day goes by where there isn't any! But on occasion, it comes along and stays and really sinks his teeth into you....Like a Pit Bull dragging a rotten log, three times it's size & weight, down the path in the local recreation grounds!
Since mid last week, this dog has come and gotten hold of my right ankle....I do my utmost to avoid being dragged by this wheezing, slobbering beast! There is such a thin line I am able to keep from snapping! I can stay indoors and sit and think about the pain, not moving, thinking of ways to have it slain, but this doesn't actually work. I need to use my ankle to keep it from locking up and rusting solid! I have some pretty good pain killers, I only use these last thing at night when I need to sleep....sometimes I still wake with a sharp intake of breath through my clenched teeth. Instantly sitting on the edge of my bed, feet trying to feel the soft carpet. Need to get up and walk around for a while....get that blackened, scorched, thin and watery oil warmed up again. 3am, 4am, 5,6,7am....it doesn't care what the time is!
Still, all that these past few days, has not stopped me going out for my bike rides. It has in the past of course.....always will. But as I said, that thin line can be kept taught, but unbroken. I have managed to keep this up since Wednesday. It will go eventually though. I just don't know when. Like I don't know when it is coming in the first place.
Richmond Park saw me twice last week, once with my best friend Jac. Once on my own. Saw a sleeping tree....home of a thousand bunny rabbits. Thank you Mr Tree for falling asleep and giving us these wonderful tunnels where your roots used to keep you from tripping over. We never had a home like this before!
Last night Lee and I were out for a quick ride around our usual loop of Leith Hill. Pitch black, very wet and muddy! Plenty of permanently surfacing, solidified Eels. Must remember to stay away from this particular hill until next Summer. It is going to be permanently waterlogged until then. Pitch Hill will be a much better bet as it drains very well and most of the tracks are covered in chopped bark, like mulch.
Because of the terrain, I had to chocolate foot (Put my feet down) more than once I can tell you. Plus I was extra cautious where my ankle was concerned. Normally done in one hour, took over two! I remember thinking, when we were right over the furthest point away from the car.....If my bike disappeared in a puff of smoke, I would be totally & utterly useless. Walking is out of the question with this foot! But I can use my bike as a kind of walker (Zimmer Frame).
It didn't disappear, and I cycled back to the car park, shins looking like they had been shat on by a small dog with diarrhea. I did however, find that I had picked up a slime, wet and utterly gross looking slug on my travels! I really don't like slugs! Eversince I put on a shoe one morning, getting ready for school. My shoes were out in the conservatory from the night before. I sipped my socked foot into the shoe and felt something right at the toe end! I took my foot back out and noticed a yellow, orangey stain on my toes! I tipped and shook the shoe until this burst open giant orange slug flopped onto the floor!! I nearly puked! I HATE SLUGS!

Thinking back to last Monday....That may have been the cause of this bout of pain. I went with my neighbour (upstairs) to Bushy Park & Hampton Court Palace for the afternoon. It was a wonderful day, with plenty of sunshine and Rutting Deer....& walking! Quite fascinating it was too. We came across one group of Deer, made up of about 15 females & one giant Stag! Antlers the size of Christmas trees! He seemed to be keeping them in check and waiting for a good time to do his 'businesses'. Three times another Stag approached and retreated from this harem. Not so big and obviously not so bright either as the bigger and better looking Stag. Each time he would walk very slowly up to this group and circle halfway around the back of them only to be chased away by the bigger Stag, calling out to remind him who was boss. You have to give it to the other Stag though. If at first you don't succeed...try, try again.
Hampton Court Palace was great fun too. I have only know my neighbour for about one year. Her & her husband are such wonderful people. They know nothing about me health wise. I wish I could tell them....don't know why. It is such a big part of my life. Worried what they might think of me! I had some not so nice reactions about my HIV when I was a teenager! A girlfriend of mines parents were none too pleased about the 'situation' shall we say. This was back in 87 I might add, When ignorance was very rife and juicy! I'm not so sure that it is any better now really.
I did tell her I had Haemophilia though. I left it at that. Maybe next time we meet.
HCP is such a charming place! I Love the kitchens. I have always said I would Love to travel back in time to visit these kinds of places.....The sights, sounds & smells! Christmas is coming up soon.....A Time Machine please Santa:)

P.s. My numb little finger has over the last few weeks, nearly gone away:)

Jason

34th needle and Crying Mums...

Eel Pie Island, River Thames, Twickenham, Thursday.

Since my encounter with the wonderful Deer in Bushy Park on Monday I have learned what they were actually doing with all that painful bellowing across the dying yellow grass of the park. I have "Autumn Watch" on BBC2 to thank for that. It has finished now which is a shame...very good show & all live too. Bill Oddie is funny, everytime he saw himself on the monitor he seemed to be tidying his hair. Seem to forget sometimes he was in "The Goodies".
Right....Since Monday then I have been doing the kind of stuff I like to do and in the kind of weather I like to do it in. Another ride around Richmond Park on Tuesday....Very high tide along the footpath! The whole length was a foot under water. I did the whole length trying not to get wet feet! Silly really, fighting a bit of a loosing battle I was. It's not so nice either when you can't see where the bank ends and the river starts. Good fun though. Played havoc with my ankle joints though! They don't like to get cold & wet! I could hardly walk when I got home!
Then Wednesday more cycling...This time in the other direction towards Bushy Park. Lovely and sunny, wind nice and little. A few midges (bloody Muffleheads!) still alive and looking for the odd orifice of the Human type (Nowhere near as bad as in the Summer & the vicious Highland Midge I encountered in Fort William in June! Millions is an understatement!). Dogs out in force looking for a free Squirrel shaped meal:) It doesn't surprise me that one was wearing a muzzle. The trip back home took me right past Hampton Court Palace....Very quiet looking and probably pretty glad to be rid of all those camera wielding tourists looking for the ghost of Thomas Cardinal Wolsey (did you know that Henry VIII built 49 other places around England similar in style to HCP & none remain today!).
Along the towpath back to Kingston I noticed some of the leaves (don't know what kind of plant) from the Palace spilling over the wall onto the river side. turning a bright red! Autumn is here and the years carry on regardless.

Autumns death, gives life...

As I took the photo, another cyclist was riding up and down wondering what the hell I was doing bending down, looking right into the leaves! Three times she went past. I was tempted to say that I had found a secret portal into another world, what only my little camera could see....thought better of it in the end! I don't look too good in straight-jackets!....not white ones anyway;)

So on to Thursday, A very short, impulsive decision to go for a little kayak up the Thames (see photo at top). Only the day before I had seen some kayakists paddling away and thought that that is what I am going to do tomorrow. Ideally I would have Loved to take a drive to Lulworth Cove, My favorite Kayaking area. My friend Lee and I have planned to go together in the next month. I am all excited just thinking about it, it has been a while........Christ on a bike!! It has been 2 years since I was last down at the "Door" (Durdle Door)! This can't be right...but it is and the Cove here we come...watch this space!
So...I launch right under St Marys Church in Twickenham. Signs everywhere warning drivers of the massive risk of flooding at high tide. Believe me, I have seen plenty of half submerged cars, a tasty treat for the very greedy and not very choosy Thames! But before I take to the Thames, I have lunch over at my younger Sister Tania's. My little niece Millie was there too:) And my Mum. I went onto Tania's PC to see what my blog looked like (I have a Mac). I read one of my previous posts titled "For the Love of Livers" out to them, they were interested as to what sort of stuff I do on there. My Mum don't do computers and wouldn't read it herself. Anyway, by the time I was finished, My Sister said; "See what you've done? I looked up and saw my Mum was crying! I had no idea it would have that effect on her! I never no what to do when I see people crying. I'm not used to crying at all. It doesn't come easily to me for some reason....
.....The sun was very low in the late afternoon sky! It was almost like looking into the proverbial tunnel of light to another world...I needed sun glasses! I was forced to paddle in the direction of the sun (Teddington Lock) as I needed to stay against the flow of the tide, because coming back to the car would be much easier if my arm began to hurt. So off I go, cutting through the oncoming water, being careful to avoid being a local fisherman's biggest catch of the day! Past Trevor Bayliss' house on Eel Pie Island, round the long sweeping left hand bend towards the Lock at Teddington. A lone Swan thunders past from behind me, almost level with my head! These kind of sights don't come too often but when they do....well, it was like when Concorde used to fly over my Mums garden every day, I always stopped and just stared in amazement! Swans make a terrific sound as they swoosh past, wheezing & squeaking as they plunge those ginormous wings up and down!
Up to the Lock itself, passing Rick Parfitts' (Status Quo) riverside apartment. The weir part of the lock was letting in tonnes of water from the non-tidal part of the Thames and made the whole area a no-no for paddling, especially since I was all alone and not wearing a buoyancy aid! I know, I know...! I do have one, but this part of the Thames is so predictable I don't bother. (Slapped wrist starting to sting). I turn around and head back for Twick just as it gets dark. The tide had risen now and has flooded part of the road. Again, very predictable if you know the area. My car was safe and sound:) My day ended in more water in the form of a Lovely warm bath when I got in doors:) A nice little taster for the impending trip to The Cove (with buoyancy aid). Thursday night also saw my 34th Interferon injection go into battle, all guns blazing and wearing steel toe capped boots for the ones who are still squirming in the darkest recesses of my liver.....Stamp those little parasites into dust....Lovely!
So on to Friday! Friday 13th! A trip up to the RFH in Hampstead for my 4 weekly Hep C tx bloods. Lovely sunny day again. Stinky dirty train, look for a discarded "Metro" newspaper to read on the half hour trip. Collect copies of my blood results (from the beginning of tx to present day) I requested a few days before. I wanted to see what my levels have been up to over the last 8 months. I may have to post them on to the forum and Maybe Ross can decipher them for me.
Quickly in and quickly out, back home and prepare myself for a night ride around Pitch Hill, Surrey with my friend Lee. As it's name suggests, it is pitch black when we arrive at the car park in Peaslake. Great weather for cycling, dry'ish, little wind and not too cold. I could tell the Winter is only around the corner though. We had a nice 2 hour ride under the stars and trees. But right near the end, we took a look down a steep looking channel we have named "The Trench", Lee went first and halfway down lost control and went right over his handlebars! He was very lucky! A bit shaken....more worried about his bike and new lights! Oh well, Friday 13th couldn't take a night off could it!

Lee & I. Friday 13th. (post crash)

That was it really. Bit of a long post this time, & 3 photos too:) By the way, Lee is 6ft 4! He looks shorter than me in this photo. I am 5ft 11 on a good day;)

P.s. Friday the 13th, October, 2006....13+10+2006=13!

Jason

33rd Injection & Spotted Dick (without custard)

Richmond Hill, Tonight

Back in the saddle again. It felt so good tonight with the wind & rain & puddles...Oh the puddles! They never stopped laying themselves down for me. I must admit, I did dodge a few at first, but then just gave into their being. I was fighting a loosing battle with those damn things! I looked exactly like a spotted dick without the custard when I eventually got home. But Richmond Park and the River Thames towpath are ok really. I like the way the cars wait for the Deer to cross the road. They (the cars) keep right back, WAY back. Just in case the Deer were to explode or something. And must only continue driving when said Deer has entered The Twilight Zone;) Maybe they are waiting to see some Deer sex? I have seen it! The foreplay thing with their antlers is an amazing sight & sound! The park will be closing soon for culling! Too much sex!
It was nice though being out and knowing I am well again and watertight etc. It was only a local ride. Couldn't be bothered with the horrendous Friday night traffic to Peaslake. Tomorrow maybe a better day for driving & for weather.
I was sure I could see Mick Jagger spying on me from his bedroom window in the flat behind me when I took todays photo. But alas, he is in Canada tonight with the rest of his band.
This photo looks out over Twickenham and Teddington. The bright light on the horizon to the right is Twickenham Rugby Ground.
My trainers took a shower with me tonight. They needed it more than I did! I had taken them off. I just gave them a rinse before popping them into the washing machine along with my 'spotted dick' clothes;) I cooked myself a very nice dinner, which went down very nicely! After last week, my appetite seems to have come back ten fold! I was watching "Twin Peaks" (again) last night and the scene where Jerry brings Ben and his whole family (during dinner) a giant brie baggette each from his travels. It is the way Ben unrolls them from the paper they are wrapped in, then smells them right up and down before sticking as much as is humanly possible into his mouth! MMMmmmm! I wanted one so much! Non Twin Peaks fans look bemused at this stage;)
Anyway, now I have a kitchen full of dirty pots and stuff! It will wait until tomorrow.
At least my ipod is all nice and charged for tomorrows drive to The Woods:)

P.s. My 33rd Interferon injection went very well last night. I haven't noticed chills as I sometimes do. Not many to go now! I think my 48th injection will be on the 18th January 06, 5 days befroe my 36th Birthday.

Jason

32nd Injection & Shit Happens...(unrelated)

River Thames, Twickenham

Bloody diarrhea! Where did that come from?

Firstly, let me apologize for the mess I am about to describe.

I was sitting around at my Dads on Wednesday evening, trying to beat him playing golf on the PS2 & I could feel 'Something bad down below!'. The first thing my old man said was; "Bloody Hell Son! You stink!". MMmm, not unusual in itself, but I did think something was up.
After an hour or so, I was feeling more & more uncomfortable. I wanted to go home, leaving my dad victorious in one way (golf) and not so in another (breathable air).
I got home at 21:45, had a chicken wrap I had bought just 3 hours earlier from M&S. I ate that; Switched on the Apple; Checked my e-mails etc. Then an hour or so later, after a series of rumbles & what reminded me of a bubbling cauldron, I felt an overwhelming urge to purge!
What? I don't remember eating that! I looked down to see what had just happened. I instantly thought of a photograph I had took last year of a shopping trolley in the Thames. Fortunately there was no shopping trolley in my toilet!
Instantly I thought of the Hummus I had made the day before. But surely not! All fresh ingredients, canned (cooked) chick peas etc. I must say though; Although I don't think the hummus to blame, I have been totally put off from eating it again anytime soon. Which is a shame really as I really like it:(
Right; Fast forward to the following morning, after numerous visits to the loo. Still have it! I am not too worried though, as I feel kinda fine otherwise. But I do ring my Docs up at the RFH. I try to explain my symptoms in detail, trying not to ruin her breakfast;) She didn't seem overly worried & agreed that it may well have been something I ate. Keep an eye on it, drink plenty of water and report back in 24 hours.
So here I am, sitting in front of my trusty Apple having just 'reported in'. It isn't any worse and may even be a little bit better. Still not right though and rather runny! I am drinking plenty of water and eating too. I have lost my appetite some what, but this is not unusual. I don't often have an appetite so to speak. Maybe about once a day. I do consume 3 meals a day everyday (more like 4 including my 2am feast; but that's another story). I could quite happily live without "eating" food. To me, it is just a source of fuel.
Anyway; My Doctor still wasn't too worried and said these things usually take between 24/48 hrs to pass. So I will leave it over the weekend and see what happens.
I did so want to go out yesterday. I was forced to stay in though as I don't have any water tight trousers;)
My friend wants to know if I am up for our Friday night mountain bike ride. I might do; I think I can control my urge now. I might just suggest a hike instead. I don't really think I should be hammering it around the North Downs at night in the rain! Not if he is directly behind me anyhow;)
I shall see how it goes. All being well, my next post should have a much more pleasant scent about it.

Again, I apologize profusely for my rather nasty "Bog Log".

Also, My 32nd Interferon injection went well. I took it as always at 23:30 last night.

Jason

31st injection & another week done

My best friend Lee, Holbury Hill last Sunday

That is my friend Lee. I have know him for over 25 years! We first met by chance. I was with a friend and we were down by St Marys church right on the river Thames in Twickenham. It was the summer holidays in between junior school and senior school. Lee was with his older brother Mark. My friend & i being the little shits we were at the time started throwing stones at them both. Somehow we began talking more like normal people and Lee and i found out we were due to start at not only the same school, but in the same class too! The rest as they say is history. He is great to have around! Especially outdoors. He seems to have a natural compass built in and we never get lost whilst out hiking or mountain biking. We have done everything together; BMXing, hiking, computer games & PS2, making our own fireworks, camping, climbing trees, graffiti, mountain biking, Kayaking, fitting my bathroom & kitchen. He is tall too. 6ft 4ins. He is great at putting up shelves;) Actually, he can do almost anything he puts his hands to! I am very lucky indeed that he didn't run away that day i pelted him with stones:) I do still throw the odd stone at him even today. My speciality is the magnifying glass on the back of the neck;)
Seriously though, he has always been there for me. He has seen plenty of my blood too. He has even injected me for my Haemophilia. He was a pro.
Lee is the one i go mountain biking with if i am not on my own. How is it that if we go out in the mud, he always comes back clean and i look like the Swamp Thing! I have mentioned him before on here & i expect you will hear more of Lee in future posts. I just thought it high time i put his photo in my blog;)
He is also married to my twin sister Nicola.

Anyhow. Treatment is going well. I still have the numb little finger. Apart from that it is just another week.
No rest for the wicked though! Lee and i are going out for a night ride in the Surrey Hills tomorrow night. He has some new lights. The same as mine. He will be able to see where he is going now! Tell you all about it in my next post.

P.s. Does anyone have a good recipe for home made humus? It is my favorite food!

Jason

30th injection & Frogs

Frog, Box Hill, 13th September 2006

18 injections left to the end of treatment! January sometime. The month i turn 36 too!
Anyhow, i feel good mostly. Been having some anger issues. Not much of a problem. Just something to concentrate on, so i don't come across as too much of a dick to my family & friends. BBQ tomorrow around my brother-in-laws in Strawberry Hill. Lots of people and children and socializing ect. But guess who is doing the cooking? I don't mind;) I like to make sure that it is done properly.
My trip to the Royal Free Hospital today was rather uneventful really. I like the train ride into North London ( Hampstead), as i get to see the graffiti. I used to do it myself back in the 80's and i still Love looking at it. I have been making the same train journey every year since the late 70's.
Anyhow, It has been 4 weeks since my last bloods & they were very good. I normally go get the results straight away, but today i didn't need to as my docs were happy to wait for them. They could see i was well too. My weight was 79.9kg compared to 79.5kg last time. When i started treatment, for some reason they seemed quite concerned i kept an eye on my weight! I'm not sure why? My weight has been consistent all the way through.
I mentioned my little finger & it's feeling numb and they agreed that it was almost certainly related to my bike riding stints (thanks Ample:) And said i shouldn't exert myself too much! Fat chance;) I will keep an eye on it though.
Do you like the Frog? I went out on Wednesday for a hike instead of my normal bike ride. As i was walking around it started to rain and all these frogs kept coming out of the long grass, onto the short grass at the top of Box Hill. I took a few photos and they all posed for me like professionals;) There is so much more wildlife at night, especially whilst it is raining. But my ankles were sore as they weren't used to it. I think i mentioned this in my last post? Rambling again!.....Just had a quick look at my last post. Looks like i didn't. I am going mad! Or should that be madder?
My best friend Lee was back on the saddle tonight. He has been away for 3 weeks! He found it a bit hard going, but felt good for doing it. It was quite damp out tonight and those exposed roots are like giant solidified conger eels, just waiting to pounce with their slippery backs! I felt a tad chilly at first, but soon warmed up. I always feel a bit chilly the day after my jab.

"Blake's 7" calling! (dvd)

Nunight

Jason