35th Injection & Sleeping Trees...

Richmond Park, last Wednesday.

Thursday saw my 35th Interferon injection out of 48. I just cannot believe how 'normal' I feel! Do I feel a bit guilty? Yes I do! I know for a fact that it isn't that easy and some who are on exactly the same tx have some real terrible times! I read about them often on a Hep C Forum I visit. I feel for all of them! On there too are some absolutely wonderful people who care beyond belief that they are alright and do everything they can to help them feel better.....With advice, warm words and comfort....All from personal experiences too. They have all been through it one way or another. I feel very safe knowing that I too have these folk to help me if needed. Thanks guys & gals:)

Pain has come along and shoved his ugly face in my general direction on numerous occasions over the decades, years, weeks & days! Actually, not a single day goes by where there isn't any! But on occasion, it comes along and stays and really sinks his teeth into you....Like a Pit Bull dragging a rotten log, three times it's size & weight, down the path in the local recreation grounds!
Since mid last week, this dog has come and gotten hold of my right ankle....I do my utmost to avoid being dragged by this wheezing, slobbering beast! There is such a thin line I am able to keep from snapping! I can stay indoors and sit and think about the pain, not moving, thinking of ways to have it slain, but this doesn't actually work. I need to use my ankle to keep it from locking up and rusting solid! I have some pretty good pain killers, I only use these last thing at night when I need to sleep....sometimes I still wake with a sharp intake of breath through my clenched teeth. Instantly sitting on the edge of my bed, feet trying to feel the soft carpet. Need to get up and walk around for a while....get that blackened, scorched, thin and watery oil warmed up again. 3am, 4am, 5,6,7am....it doesn't care what the time is!
Still, all that these past few days, has not stopped me going out for my bike rides. It has in the past of course.....always will. But as I said, that thin line can be kept taught, but unbroken. I have managed to keep this up since Wednesday. It will go eventually though. I just don't know when. Like I don't know when it is coming in the first place.
Richmond Park saw me twice last week, once with my best friend Jac. Once on my own. Saw a sleeping tree....home of a thousand bunny rabbits. Thank you Mr Tree for falling asleep and giving us these wonderful tunnels where your roots used to keep you from tripping over. We never had a home like this before!
Last night Lee and I were out for a quick ride around our usual loop of Leith Hill. Pitch black, very wet and muddy! Plenty of permanently surfacing, solidified Eels. Must remember to stay away from this particular hill until next Summer. It is going to be permanently waterlogged until then. Pitch Hill will be a much better bet as it drains very well and most of the tracks are covered in chopped bark, like mulch.
Because of the terrain, I had to chocolate foot (Put my feet down) more than once I can tell you. Plus I was extra cautious where my ankle was concerned. Normally done in one hour, took over two! I remember thinking, when we were right over the furthest point away from the car.....If my bike disappeared in a puff of smoke, I would be totally & utterly useless. Walking is out of the question with this foot! But I can use my bike as a kind of walker (Zimmer Frame).
It didn't disappear, and I cycled back to the car park, shins looking like they had been shat on by a small dog with diarrhea. I did however, find that I had picked up a slime, wet and utterly gross looking slug on my travels! I really don't like slugs! Eversince I put on a shoe one morning, getting ready for school. My shoes were out in the conservatory from the night before. I sipped my socked foot into the shoe and felt something right at the toe end! I took my foot back out and noticed a yellow, orangey stain on my toes! I tipped and shook the shoe until this burst open giant orange slug flopped onto the floor!! I nearly puked! I HATE SLUGS!

Thinking back to last Monday....That may have been the cause of this bout of pain. I went with my neighbour (upstairs) to Bushy Park & Hampton Court Palace for the afternoon. It was a wonderful day, with plenty of sunshine and Rutting Deer....& walking! Quite fascinating it was too. We came across one group of Deer, made up of about 15 females & one giant Stag! Antlers the size of Christmas trees! He seemed to be keeping them in check and waiting for a good time to do his 'businesses'. Three times another Stag approached and retreated from this harem. Not so big and obviously not so bright either as the bigger and better looking Stag. Each time he would walk very slowly up to this group and circle halfway around the back of them only to be chased away by the bigger Stag, calling out to remind him who was boss. You have to give it to the other Stag though. If at first you don't succeed...try, try again.
Hampton Court Palace was great fun too. I have only know my neighbour for about one year. Her & her husband are such wonderful people. They know nothing about me health wise. I wish I could tell them....don't know why. It is such a big part of my life. Worried what they might think of me! I had some not so nice reactions about my HIV when I was a teenager! A girlfriend of mines parents were none too pleased about the 'situation' shall we say. This was back in 87 I might add, When ignorance was very rife and juicy! I'm not so sure that it is any better now really.
I did tell her I had Haemophilia though. I left it at that. Maybe next time we meet.
HCP is such a charming place! I Love the kitchens. I have always said I would Love to travel back in time to visit these kinds of places.....The sights, sounds & smells! Christmas is coming up soon.....A Time Machine please Santa:)

P.s. My numb little finger has over the last few weeks, nearly gone away:)

Jason