"My Cycling For February 2009"

A snowy Peaslake car park in February 2009.


A bit late in posting I know...and still March to come. Right now (April 17th) I have not been out on my bike since March 29th when I took a tumble on my bike at the bottom of the drop-in leading into Peaslake car park! In fact, I have been bedridden and have only just started to walk without the use of crutches. I must thank my good friend Jac for coming to stay over and look after me:) My right knee took all my weight and buckled under me. Fortunately I was only yards away from my car and managed to get home without causing further damage. Nothing broke but my knee did take quite a twisting! I am in such a foul mood because of it all (and my blocked sink and broken wing mirror!) and don't even know if I will be able to cycle properly again! So, please forgive me if I keep this short and go hide in a nice hot bath.
Fuck my knee, fuck this pain and fuck having haemophilia!!!!!!!!!



Sunday 1st February 2009 @ 14:20pm, HH, PH, WW, Ian, 16.24 miles, av 6.6, max 21.6mph,
2hrs 25mins, cold and snowy and sunny. Total 155.57 miles.

Sunday 8th February 2009 @ 14:10pm, HH, PH, WW, Ian, 17.45 miles, av 6.1, max 18.8mph, 2hrs 51mins, very muddy and snowy, rain for second half of ride, temp 2, wind 10. Total 173.02 miles.

Monday 16th February 2009 @ 18:40pm, SF & CW, Ian, Andy, Gary, 9 miles, av 6.9, max 22.1 mph, 1hr 50mins, muddy but dry. Total 182.02 miles.

Friday 20th February 2009 @ 15:00, RPx2 and a third, 26.7 miles, av 12.1, max 29.7 mph, 2hrs 9mins, mild & dry. Total 208.09 miles.

Tuesday 24th February 2009 @ 21:30pm, BP, 13.27 miles, av 13.1, max 19.8mph, 1hr, mild, dry. Total 221.09 miles.

Friday 27th February 2009 @ 19.20, HH, PH, Lee, 11.31 miles, av 6.4, max 20.3 mph, cool, dry, 1hr 45mins, temp 9 down to 5, wind 6. Total 232.40 miles.



Jason








(C) JPT 2009

"Walking Trivialities"

South Bank last Sunday during my London ride...the graffiti was more fun than the ride;)


God! I'm so bored! It's raining in my head, in my ankle and it's raining outside (it was at the time of writing this sentence;)! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it!
Where the sticky shit did that bastard bleed come from? Was it a bleed? I'm not really sure? It didn't swell up like a bleed, like they used to do when I was younger. Like a balloon filled with boiling blood sticking out the side of my ankle joint! More of a bone thing going on. A deep, deep down feeling right in the center of my ankle joint! As my friend Ros so perfectly described recently - Just like a poisonous bone eating worm was living in there - very nasty! Very good description Mrs C.

It all started last Wednesday night. I had been out to London to see a film. Hardly any walking at all. Just a little between trains and to and from my car from the station. Done it a thousand times with and without pain. Been caught out before but all was well again by the morning after a few thousand units of Factor VIII. But not this time!

I got off the train at Twickenham and started to walk up the stairs to the road to take the short walk across the railway bridge to Waitrose carpark where my car was and there the pain started. Nothing unusual about that. It often hurts just after I have been sitting still for a while. Got to get the joint moving a little before it sorts itself out. Ros'll tell you the same.
So I thought nothing of it and adjusted my walking style to help relieve the pain that I was feeling and continued through the ticket machines and out onto the pavement and over the bridge.
Halfway across the bridge and I was walking like I had been shot in the foot by a lone sniper atop Waitrose! Bam!! All of a sudden the remainder of the very short walk back to the car became a ten minute pain filled struggle where each step made me grimace in agony! Not long to go now, just another few hundred yards and I will be with my car, back home, back with my precious factor VIII.

Little did I imagine that it would last the entire evening, all the way through the night and all through the next two days! Christ on a bike! That first night I didn't sleep a wink, couldn't find a single pain-free spot to put my stupid foot! I downed 10 strong pain killers during the night and they had no effect whatsoever! I'm surprised I didn't do meself a mischief with that amount of PK's! Very silly looking back, but at the time I wasn't thinking straight. I can understand how people can accidentally overdose when they're in so much pain.

Besides the pain I was in, I was also rather concerned that I had a permanent injury that was just not going to go away! I had visions of crawling around on my knees to the kitchen and bathroom for the rest of eternity (one day was enough!). My knees stung when I lowered myself into a hot bath on Thursday night due to carpet burns! (first Thursday night kayaking session I have missed since I started going nearer the beginning of the year). I got Lee to come around with my Mums crutches that she used recently for a knee replacement and used those until the ankle miraculously sorted itself out on Sunday morning (today). I tried to walk on it with the aid of the crutches on Saturday night to see if it was alright to do so and it kind of felt ok.

Then on Sunday morning the bastard was all more or less back to normal. What a relief!! I was worried I had buggered it once and for all! It's bound to happen one day, I just know it! Looking back, I think it was my ankles way of telling me that I had used it too much over the last few weeks and to calm down a little. I might not have been out for many rides over the last two weeks, but the few rides that I did do were very long and hard and something was going to give right? Sunday before last I did my 100k off-road marathon thing up in North Wales and then nothing until the next Sunday (last) when I took a lonely trip into central London to be part of the "Hovis Freewheel" ride where several miles of London's most popular streets were closed to all traffic except bikes. 38,000 bikes attended the event and all I can say to describe it is that it was THE largest bicycle jam in the entire world!! The weather was good but the wind was a right fucker coming back home into Kingston along the A3. I decided to cycle the whole way (40 odd miles) from my flat to the event and back again and to be honest with you, I don't really think I had recovered properly from the marathon a week before.

Will I learn from my experience? I really do hope so! But probably not.



Jason


P.s. Way to go Amp's...SVR girl:)








(C) JPT 2007.........2945.17 miles.

"The (un) Infected"

Heart Shaped Moss that I found on the entrance into Teddington Lock over looking the River Thames the day before I got my SVR results (18.07.07) I was out cycling and had a rest and a think and a contemplate before I went back home just around the corner.



Oh yes! The uninfected will keep going on about it won't they. I must remember to remember that I'm not totally uninfected am I, & my Hep C could come back...couldn't it? I must try and remember that. Did I just say that? Oh Yes, I did;)
You know what I mean though don't you. My Hep C is still up in viral heaven, heavily indulged in some sort of sordid sex act no doubt with someone else's recently gotten rid of Hep C. I can just imagine them both right now, entwined together like a couple of horny slugs, with a sign on the wall saying "HIV virus welcome" (You never know, maybe one day eh). They're not bothered about their previous owners in the very least! They're far too stupid to care about us anymore.
As a result of my good result, I have found (as I new I would) that my cycling OCD has more or less gone away and although I am feeling quite tired these last few weeks during my rides I am still doing the miles. 30 on Monday and another 30 Wednesday afternoon and yet another 30 miles yesterday afternoon. Talking of cycling, maybe someone can help me...Warrior Woman? A few times now whilst riding around RP I have almost collided with a few runners coming from the opposite direction on the Tamsin Trail. What happened was that as I was going along minding me own business, listening to me moosic on't i-pod and also minding to stay on the left hand side of the track (just like you would on the roads here in the UK) these runners were on their right and seemed surprised that I didn't move over for them and instead carried on as I thought I ought to. I wasn't going too fast and could see that they could see me and anyway, they didn't like it and right at the last minute jumped out of my way and shouted something. I didn't say a word as I really don't know what the score is for a shared public footpaths/trails. Is it the same as on public roads, like I had thought? If it is then they should be on their left too right? Maybe they don't drive cars and don't have a clue what side to be on (but then do many car drivers either?). Most cyclists stay on their left and so do some runners...but most people just walk/run/cycle wherever the hell they want! I won't be the one crying when my bar end pierces someones soft belly or tangles up with another cyclist (believe me, it has nearly happened on more than one occasion!) and we both end up on the gravel apologizing to each other with me shouting "Stay away from my blood dude! You really don't want to get involved!";)

Also yesterday I was up at the RFH having an MOT on my joints, in particular my right elbow (also known as my 'Glass Elbow' and my 'Broken Wing') and both my ankles. My physiotherapist (Paul) drew some marks onto a sheet of paper that had an outline of my entire body on (back & front) and began to mark it with a biro where I was having problems. He also moved and pulled and twisted (firmly but very comfortably I might add) all my joints and came to the conclusion that both my ankles and my right elbow are indeed fucked and booked me in for another visit in two weeks time. He also X-Ray'd my left ankle as it has been playing up quite a bit whilst walking. He thinks there might be something rough or sticking out where the two bones rub together. Hopefully the X-Ray will show us what there is and maybe what can be done...if anything. I told him about all the cycling I do and kayaking and not once did he say that I shouldn't (which is good). Actually, even if he had I would have said 'Up-yours' and walked out...No bike...No Jae...Simple!

I had a great (last) weekend away in Kidderminster & Shrewsbury with a whole bunch of people from the Hep C forum which Joan had wonderfully organized. Ros & her Hubby Ade put me up for a couple of nights at their Kidderminster home and fed me & bathed me and watered me too:) Then on the Saturday we drove to Shrewsbury and met up with Joan and her Hubby Steve and loads of others too who are either on tx or have been on tx. And what a great bunch of people they are too. The weather was great and the food was also very tasty...especially Ros's flapjacks:)

Anyway, enough about that. What about my dreams? Have you noticed in the last several months that there has been a distinct lack of dreams in my blog? I thought you did. Ever since I finished my treatment for Hep C my vivid and highly detailed dreams have dried up terribly and left me with just tiny bits and bobs...even straight after waking from my dreams I can't remember them much at all! For instance; I had a few dreams the night before the night before last that I almost certainly would have remembered in much more detail previously. My bike gets stolen from a railway station, I look for it, find it and stick a scalpel into the young man that took it! In another one the same night I dreamed that a very good friend of mine got their Hep C back. But where are the details? And what's happened to my poetry? Where has it all gone? I do have a few dreams saved that I never posted whilst I was on tx. The one about the freeze dried vagina's (which I like) and another about a little boy who gets crushed under the wheels of a very big lorry (which I don't) and another where I come face to face with a green (and very sexy) woman swimming in this flood (which was also green) just outside my front room window (I like that one too).
Oh, one thing I do remember is that when I found my bike the wheels were all loose and wouldn't spin properly and just a little more gross is that when I stuck the scalpel into the Man's body I could feel it digging & picking into his bones!

And another thing. I have to do that study again where I do without Factor VIII for 72hrs to determine what my Factor VIII levels are because my results came back at around the 5% mark (I'm supposed to be less than 1%). What does this mean? Am I a moderate to severe (or even mild?) haemophiliac all of a sudden? I'm sure they think I didn't do my bit and stay away from the Factor during those 72hrs. I assure you my droogs that I did.
So back I go on Tuesday next week to have more blood sucked out from my leech-like vein and a whole weekend without any Factor whatsoever. Must remember to take it easy when I'm out up in the Surrey Hills on Sunday with Phil from 'Blood, Sweat & Tyres';)
And on Tuesday night I am up at The Scala in Kings Cross to see The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster' again:) Jac's on holiday in Portugal for that week so I have to find someone else to go with me who doesn't mind getting kicked in the head by crowd surfers or going deaf even!

Check out the video for their new EP 'In The Garden' in this link;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5ELJfSbm58

I Love this band!



P.s. If a bucket is too much, then a milk bottle will do;)




Jason








(C) JPT 2007.........2348.60 miles.

"Shit Paracetamol"

Cross...Words!


So feeble, so vulnerable just now. Feelings of being trapped.........locked up in pain!
My ankle....my right ankle to be more precise is the one single bony thing responsible for my discomfort. It happens sometimes.....Often. Less often though does this kind of pain and weakness spill over into my waking hours, my walking hours, my 'real' hours. Thank goodness that it does only rear it's very ugly head on few occasions compared, in this acute way. I can deal with chronic.....you get used to chronic. It is bad enough being woken from my sleep with this excruciatingly rude bolt of lightning that shoots through my entire ankle bone! Even when I am concious and reading or watching a favorite episode of "Family Guy" in bed does it creep up and sink it's pain infected claws into my calcium phosphate formed walking implement! But at least I am not stranded halfway down a public street or looking through the new book section at my local Borders book store, or even standing, looking confused as to how on earth I am going to even reach my front door. At least I can feel happy with the knowledge that I am in a safe place and won't develop the bleed of all bleeds trying to make my way back to the front door to my flat from my car parked out on the pavement....The garage is just too far away sometimes!
A short walk around the bedroom floor and it gradually feels better......half asleep usually, more often totally under, but also wide awake too, for a little while anyway. Several times a night is not uncommon. Sometimes the sharp stap of pain can be so shocking as to make me wonder what the hell just happened and where on earth I am at....until I see the bedroom wall opposite me, and the chest of drawers and wardrobe, the purple garish curtains from the 70's to my left.....door to my right.....pain absolutely everywhere. Just a little walk around the bedroom soon follows. Doesn't sound right does it. A little walk and it goes away. That can't be right! But it works.....for a while. The painkillers do their job admirably enough. Four in total, all in one go. Codeine Phosphate. But even this mixture of chemicals can only do it's best and no more. I can't keep taking the bastard things! I got hooked a while back on painkillers (Co-Proxamol).....for several years. Just at night and just before bedtime. I was taking up to eight per night....sometimes all in one go! Great feeling, great nights sleep and not much pain......well, at least it was a beautiful kind of pain. Euphoric even....but not good in the long run as I found out. I didn't care what they might be doing to my liver. I was taking these painkillers way before I even knew that I had Hep C. I soon changed though. Not because of the possible liver damage, when I did eventually learn about my new credentials oh no! Nor from the fact that the drug was going to become a 'Banned' painkiller in these parts and would no longer be available. More likely because I ended up in hospital with acute constipation. They gave me morphine injections for the pain this caused. Now there is a proper painkiller! Keep me well away from that stuff.....not a good combination, Morphine & I. I am just glad that I never tried heroin.....it would have got hold of me and never let go of me that's for sure!
As I have said before....my bike is my wheelchair. It really is. Can you believe that I was out on it last night. 17 miles around the larger of the two Queens Parks that are situated near where I live. I should have stayed indoors maybe. But you know me by now right? I had to get out and not be locked up in pain....I would much have prefered to be locked up outside. I was adamant! Believe me when I say that the one minute walk....hobble more like, to the the garage was much much worse than the 1hr 26mins bike ride.....and the bike ride was agony at times!
I got an appointment at the RFH this morning.....a routine Haemophilia check-up. To see how much my joints have deteriorated since the last time. Talk of ankle fusions, talk of this, talk of that. I already know the talk.....& I already know what I am going to say.....that I am dealing with it thank you and that's that. Presuming I even get to the hospital that is. It's true! I am dealing with it I promise. It just hurts quite a bit right now.....more than it does normally. But using it seems to be slightly less painful than not. Just don't piss me off or I am quite likely to explode! But then again.........It may be completely back to normal when I use it. There is no way of telling what it will be like until I walk on it!

My HIV drug experiment is coming along nicely I might add. I have found the culprit responsible for my very strange evening side effects and have shifted it to one am, about half an hour before I take my painkillers. They also help with the Effavirenz sides. If you're wondering if it is alright to swap the time that I take the drug....then let me assure you that it is. The drug in question is only taken once per day and as long as I take it 24hrs apart.....then it is fine. I shall see how it goes. I can already feel the differences swapping it for a later time has made. I know longer feel like I have been filled with someone elses blood....boiling hot blood, swirling around my head, shooting through my veins and rushing past my ears whilst I am trying to write a post or watch an interesting documentary on TV. My brain nor my body weren't working properly during those times.....they wanted to, but couldn't. Then again......?properly worked ever brain my Has;)



Jason






(C) JPT 2007.........518.29 miles

The 18:50 into Heathrow

Marble Hill House, Twickenham, Yesterday.

Bloody knee! What was all that about? I have never had that happen before!

I had been out cycling last night and on my way home from Richmond Park I passed the back of Marble Hill House (see photo) in Twickenham, looking out onto the River Thames. I pass this way everytime I cycle to Richmond Park and even if I went the front way along the main road I would still pass the house with a very similar view. But the tow-path is a much more pleasant route. What with the ducks, swans, geese & even the odd water rat and not to mention the very welcoming lack of traffic. You do have to watch out for the dogs that have those rather long leads that seem to extend for the whole length of the path & seem to go on forever and ever. I haven't got caught in one yet......I only hope I notice or when I get home I will have a dog and the dogs owner dragging behind me in need of some urgent medical attention or in the very least a hot cup of tea & a dog biscuit!
My cycle around the park was just the same as any other evening, although there were less puddles than there were the other night, but the moths were still there........thousands! I have never seen that many before!
So, as I passed the house I thought I would take a photo of it and try and get a plane in the shot too. That wasn't too difficult since that is the main flight path (flying from right to left) into Heathrow Airport. But I did want the plane placed directly over the top of the house and central. I think I managed to get it alright (6 second exposure) and only had to wait for three planes (9 mins) before I got it. The Moon was directly behind me and looks to be entering his halfmoon phase and seemed to be completely at ease looking out from behind his black curtain onto the river and all the helicopters, planes and the "odd" cyclist. The river was perfectly still and the Canadian Geese were trying to sleep in the cold, dark water. The rest of the path was deserted and drenched in dull orange puddles of light from the tow-path lamps.
I finished my photography and got back onto my bike and my right knee went funny and the kneecap kind of locked into place! Very strange and scary as all I was doing was pushing away to begin pedalling. It seemed to go back in the right position again, but it still doesn't feel right. I might have damaged it! I really hope it is ok.........it really scared me, in fact I'm still not happy about it as my knees are pretty good compared to my other joints. If my knee goes then that is me finished! So I called off todays visit to Covent Garden and washed my car instead. It certainly needed it as does my bike, which will have to wait his turn (tomorrow maybe). Plenty of Factor VIII and it still feels the same! It isn't swollen and isn't actually a bleed technically but had to be treated regardless. I must rest it (ie, no cycling for a while and no long walks). Fingers crossed it goes away soon! I will give it until Monday and then take it up to the RFH and get them to check it out.

"Walking with your Eyes and not your Pain"

Washing my car in between the garages and the pavement, an elderly man slowly approaches with the help of two walking sticks, he is taking his time and I have never seen him before. I continue to wash my car, sponging plenty of warm, soapy water all over the black bodywork and glass. The sun is out, but low, and there are hardly any clouds in the sky. It is a wonderful day.
10 minutes later the old man has almost reached my car and I. I have been watching intermittenly for the last 10 mins and have noticed him stop several times to catch his breath so he can begin walking again. He takes the time he is stationary, to have a little look around him at the green parrotts that screech around in groups of about 20 from tree to tree. He is smiling too, always smiling!
Again he sets off with a new lungful of fresh air and continues his walk towards me and seemingly the end of the road which is about 100 yards away. One stick in front of the other, eyes looking down carefully to see his way forward is flat and foot friendly.
5 steps forward....look down.....up....down.....smiling.....stop.......look around....smiling.....eyes down......sticks.....carefully placed feet.......eyes....smiling.....5 steps forward.......until he finally reaches me.
I hear him say something and stand to see him. He is out of breath but so fresh and eager looking. He makes me smile. I say hello and he says hello too. He has stopped again and I say "Lovely day for washing cars eh"
Yes he says, still smiling, holding onto his sticks and looking around at the sky.
"I haven't been outside in over 3 months" he says. "I am going to try and reach the very end of the road today.........I really hope it doesn't rain!"
I look at the sky and my watch and say;
"I don't think it will rain" and told him he would be fine and wished him luck.
So off he goes again, very slowly and very carefully too. He seems totally intent on reaching the end of the road just 100 yards away. It must seem like miles to him, he must be in so much pain and he isn't letting on. I smile to myself again and watch him while I wash the rest of my car. He stops about 50 yards from the end of the road and speaks to an old lady for a minute, she is throwing nuts to the squirels. I hear the lady ask him how old he was, But I didn't hear his reply. I'd say he was about 80 or 90! He carrys on.......looking up, down......probably still smiling.
It takes him a while to do it, but he reaches the end of the road in about 20 mins and stops for a while watching the cars go by and the birds in the sky. Our road is a cul-de-sac and there aren't many cars at all that come down except residents. My road is a very quite, peaceful road.
My car is almost clean now and all I have to do is shammy the bodywork and wash the alloys and I will be finished. The old man is heading back after his journey and I notice as he gets closer that he is smiling even more now.
Several minutes later he has again found himself next to me and my car.
He stops again, and looks happy with his days work. Smiling all the while.
"Hello again" I say to him. "Blimey, that was quick!" "You did that quicker than you thought you would I bet eh"
"Yes I did didn't I, and I spoke to somebody on my way up there too"
"You did really well and should be very proud of yourself" I said.
"Thank you" he says. "You did a very good job cleaning your car, it looks Lovely".
"Thank you" I say and tell him that it was filthy and really needed it!
After getting his breath back again and finding the next spot on the pavement for his next step he says; "I must be off or my wife will wonder where I am" "I have been out a very long time".
I tell him bub-bye and say "I expect she will have a Lovely hot cup of tea waiting for you".
"Yes" he said, "That would be wonderful".
"Cheerio" we say to eachother.
I watch him, thinking...............how wonderful!
I am smiling now.

Jason




(C) JPT 2006