"My Cycling for November 2008"

Me pretending to be a ghost in Richmond Park on November 16th 2008.


Just five rides in November! Is that due to the weather, the fact that it's cold? Or because my ankle joints said no? Or because I just can't be bothered? I blame it on a bit of each. Things should...will get better!




Sunday 2nd November 2008 @ 15:00pm, RP, 18.77 miles, av 11.7, max 28 mph, 1hr 36mins, cool and dry. Met Ian and his wife and kid in Pembrokeshire Lodge car park briefly during a walk. Total 2016.63 miles.

Tuesday 11th November 2008 @ 15:20pm, RP, 18.27 miles, av 12.1, max 26.9 mph, 1hr 30mins, dry and cool. Total 2034.90 miles.

Sunday 16th November 2008 @ 16:45pm, RPx2, 25.74 miles, av 12.6, max 25.8 mph, 2hrs 2mins, temp 5, wind 3. Total 2060.64 miles.

Thursday 19th November 2008 @ 20:20pm, LH, 8.4 miles, Ian, James, Paul, Nick and Andy, av 6.3, max 18 mph, 1hr 25 mins, very muddy but clear and dry, cold. Total 2068.68 miles.

Sunday 23rd November 2008 @ 14:30pm, HH, PH, Ian, 12.12 miles, av 6.4, max 19.6 mph, 1hr 52 mins, very wet and muddy under tyre, sunny and cold, snow had fallen that morning. Total 2080.80 miles.



Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........Total 2080.80 miles (up to the end of November)

"Under The Glow Of Blood"

My blood. Just like yours? I hope not!


I think this might be the first time that I have ever really acknowledged World Aids Day, even though I have had HIV since the early to mid eighties when I inadvertently injected syringe after syringe of contaminated blood into my young veins to treat my haemophilia. First time for everything I suppose?
I have known since 1987 when my doctors thought it best to let me know when I reached 16. They knew in 1985 when my blood tested positive for HIV. Looking back, I'll never forget the two or so years that they kept quiet. I could have infected anyone! I wasn't on any medication for those two years and my viral load would have been in the millions. After a few drug trials in 87 I started my HIV drugs properly a few years later. I have been very lucky in that I have not had one HIV induced problem in all the time that I have had HIV. I have been very strict with my drugs and most importantly, I have looked after myself and tried to keep as healthy as possible. It isn't easy and sometimes I wonder why I bother! But, I am well and healthy and my viral load is undetectable as a result of my HIV medications. I wish I hadn't caught it at such a young age. There is no doubt that my life has been irreversibly affected by learning such horrific news at such a young age. I wish I was normal!
Oh well, things could be worse. I could be dead like so many others, some that I knew personally.

Whatever you do on December 1st 2008 (World AIDS Day) just make sure you remember the boys and girls, men and women that have already died as a result of HIV & AIDS.

For more information on World Aids Day visit;
http://www.worldaidsday.org/




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.

"My Galaxy Far, Far Away..."

By Jason age 9. January 4th 1980.

One nine year old boy, a recently acquired electronic typewriter and an imagination that wants out! Out of this world and into a galaxy far, far away. It may or may not happen one day, but whatever my destination on this far from perfect planet, I shall make it into a place or time where dreams and nightmares alike shall come true and make me a happy little boy.

"Star Wars"

My best film is The Empire Strikes Back. And I will show you all the people. There are Luke Skywalker and Han Solo and R2-D2 and C3-P0 and there is the Sand People and the Stormtroopers and Darth Vader, Chewbacca. Princess Leia Organa. And the Bounty Hunter and Jawa and R5-D4 and Snaggietooth and Power-Droid and Green Greedo and Hammerhead, Walrus Man and Ben Kenobi, Death Squad and Security Guard and FX-7 and Imperial Stormtrooper and Lando Calrissian, Bossk, Rebel Soldier, Droid Factory and the Imperial Troop Transporter and I have got a Twin-Pod Cloud Car and a Landspeeder and I have got a Star Wars game and I have got a toy monster and I am going to get some other spaceship and i am going to get some more Star Wars men and there are the Tie Fighter. You can get them in a shop called Kiddie City and I am going to go and see it at the pictures in Twickenham and my best man in Star Wars is the little man called Jawa and the Stormtrooper and they all have a gun each and there are 10 new Star Wars men and there are 20 old men and the ages are up to 4 and over and are there are 7 robots and there are 15 men and women and there are 8 monsters. All of them put together makes 30 and I was going to see it but I saw it at Marks. He has got a video. He has got over 41 tapes you can tape it on.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for October 2008"

Cold, in the dark & alone in Richmond Park during October 2008.


October seemed to be a quiet month for cycling with just a few trips to the hills and most trips to Richmond Park on my own, where I even managed to get a ticking off for speeding along the Tamsin Trail by a fellow mountain biker...who also happened to be a police officer...on duty! He said that the speed limit of ten mph on the trail was there to prevent me from running over ladies pushing prams and getting tangled up with dogs on 50ft leads. I wasn't going to argue as he does have a point. But, just for your information, I would never ride uncontrollably fast past anyone else on the trail. I think this is the reason that he let me go, because there wasn't anyone else around except him.

Anyway, what I think also made it a more seemingly quiet month was the fact that a rotten tooth that has been playing up for a while now decided to develop one infection and abscess after the other and in the end I was left with only one option; to have the offending tooth pulled out. Which I did. You'd be surprised by just how much a painful tooth can affect your ability to stay sane and want to go out riding on a bike! I am so glad to have had the thing gone! Even if the dentist nearly did paralyze the left side of my face by injecting too much numbing juice!

Oh, and the weather has gotten colder and (as we go into November) wetter too and I have a new car which I don't have a roof rack for nor a boot liner, and don't want to get it all mucky just yet;)


See you next month...



Thursday 2nd October 2008 @ 17:00pm, RP, 18.46 miles, av 11.8, max 27.1 mph, 1hr 34mins, cool, sunny, windy. Total 1884.34 miles.

Thursday 9th October 2008 @ 15:00pm, RPx2 and a third, 26.19 miles, av 12.3, max 27.8 mph, 2hrs 7mins, sunny and mild. Total 1910.53 miles.

Friday 10th October 2008 @ 17:15pm, LH, Lee, Matt, 9.26 miles, av 8.1, max 31.4 mph, 1hr 8mins, clear, cool, sunny, temp 17. Total 1919.79 miles.

Monday 13th October 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 21.77 miles, av 12.4, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 45mins, cool, bit of rain, got told to slow down by a policeman on a mountain bike! Total 1941.56 miles.

Friday 17th October 2008 @ 17:10pm, SF, Lee, 12.11 miles, av 8, max 29.7 mph, 1hr 30mins, dry and cold. Total 1953.67 miles.

Sunday 19th October 2008 @ 6pm, RP, 17.20 miles, av 12.3, max 25 mph, 1hr 24mins, dry, cool, dark, temp 14, wind 15. Total 1970.87 miles.

Friday 24th October 2008 @ 19:18pm, HH, PH, Lee, 12.38 miles, av 6.8, max 20.5 mph, 1hr 48mins, cold and damp, temp 1. Total 1983.25.

Tuesday 28th October 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 14.61 miles, av 11.4, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 17mins, very cold & windy, temp 2. Total 1997.86 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........Total 1997.86 miles (to the end of October)

"The Drowning Man"

He waits alone, he watches for her, She comes, they die together...


So, there I was sitting in my front room right by the window. It was late afternoon, maybe closer to early evening. The sky was getting dark from a moody cloud covering that didn't just spell death, but called it out and forced it down inside your ears. It gently hammered down through the last remaining light and pressed upon my very soul! I had the window open slightly and nakedly cowered just behind the net curtains that were still hanging there from the previous tenant. She had died not long before I moved in. I think she was old.
The radiator was on and I could hear the hot water flowing through it. The heat from it made me feel a little better and less likely to close the window and hide inside the hallway where there were no windows.
I thought maybe there was a storm coming. The kind that you sometimes hear about on the news. The kind that flood streets and wash away cars. The kind that kill! The clouds, although heavy and dark didn't seem to shed anything remotely wet, yet.
I continued to look out the gap in the net curtain and out onto the path that runs along the side of my front room. Beyond the path, past a very thin strip of dirt directly below where I sat and some small bushes and directly opposite my window was a slightly wider strip of uncut grass and then a wood fence about 4ft high. And beyond even that was a garden full of recently cut grass where a large house sat. Next to the house was a tall tree. The house had been converted into flats and hardly anyone used the garden anymore. I thought what a waist of time cutting the grass in the first place.
The path below my window onto the world turned at a ninety degree angle about ten feet from my window and continued all the way to the main road, which still wasn't a very big road, but was big enough for this part of town.
I often sat here looking out the window, hoping to see something interesting. Maybe a fox scrounging for food to take back to her litter. Or perhaps a lone hedgehog struggling with a back full of dried leaves. Quite often you would see numerous slugs squirming across the path, especially just after rain. Their trails from the previous storm were still evident and although fading, criss crossed the concrete path. At the end of one of the trails was a small dried shriveled lump. It was the remains of a slug that had either died from natural causes, been trodden on or maybe the sun came out and baked him alive as he made his way back to his nest behind the flowerpots that were near the communal entrance into the flats. I didn't think the sun was particularly hot for this time of year. When we get any, that is! So, maybe it was trodden on. I try my hardest to avoid anything like that when I walk along the paths around my flat. I have mistakenly crushed a snail when I have come back home in the dark! That popping wet crunch of the snails shell exploding under my foot makes me feel sick! At least if one treads on a slug it doesn't make a sound.
As I thought of all the snails and slugs my right knee had rested slightly onto the red hot radiator and made me jump! I rubbed it with the palm of my hand until it felt better. All the while I looked out the window. I thought I could hear rain drops on the leaves that clung to the small bush just below the window ledge. The closer I looked, the more I was certain that it was beginning to rain. Then I heard footsteps approaching along the path from the main road. It was a womans footsteps and sounded as if she was running. I let the net curtain fall back into it's original position and let her pass by without seeing me. She had a black skirt and white blouse on with a pair of shiny leather shoes. She had no umbrella and the white of her blouse showed several spots of rain that had soaked into the thin fabric and reached the tanned skin of her flesh. She soon disappeared as she entered the communal doorway and into the flats. By the time I had pulled back the curtain again the rain was falling much harder. So hard in fact that the force of the rain onto the ground blew up a bit of a wind which brushed across my face as I peered out into the darkening gloom.
The path was beginning to resemble a small river. Each rain drop blasting into the concrete, dissolving the last of the snail trails once and for all. The house opposite had all but disappeared behind a thick screen of falling water. I could hear nothing but the sound of water droplets the size of Deer shit pounding across the land that stretched out before me. Some of which had inevitably splashed up from the window ledge and spattered my face with cold water. I let it run down my cheek and neck and onto my chest. It felt fresh and invigorating. The whole idea of the town where I lived becoming flooded was very exciting.
Soon the water had completely covered the path and all of the grass and was halfway up the wood fence that separated the now invisible big house from my flat. The rain kept falling and didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon! The small bush that was more or less level with my window ledge seemed angry at the watery pummeling that it was experiencing. It looked sad and listless where before it had looked full of life and sprightly. The water below my window would eventually reach the top of the bush and drown it along with all the lawns of grass and any other non swimming or flying animal you care to name. The death toll tonight would be tremendous! And all I could...wanted to do was sit here in the comfort of my living room and watch it all happen.

Then, as suddenly as the rain had started, it abruptly come to an end. The rising water had at last stopped and the first thing that I noticed was the silence! There were hardly any sounds to be heard, except for a few drips of rain that slid from the leaves of the tree by the house. The wind had stopped and there was absolutely no sign of anyone or anything at all. I thought this strange as there must be thousands of creatures drowning all around me! I thought maybe I would have witnessed at least one animal try to save its self from a very short life of deadly cold water and scramble up the bark of the nearby tree. The water had almost reached the bottom of my window frame. I dunked my fingers into it and felt its icy wetness. I leant over a little to see if I could see the bottom. I could not. The bush was now completely submerged. The water was deep enough to render the water a darkish green colour. It looked quite eerie. Even more so as the waters surface leveled out into an almost mill pond stillness. After a few moments more, I sat as still as I could. Trying to take in all that was happening. The sky, now empty of rain had turned a dark green, almost mirroring the colour of the water. I checked just inside my window down below my scorching radiator to see if there was any water leaking through. I couldn't see any. It was a strange feeling looking out the window at the water. Just a few more inches higher and it would have started to pour into my front room!
Then, as I sat watching and listening I noticed a disturbance under the waters surface around the corner where the path would have continued to the road. I thought maybe it was a fish that had escaped one of the rivers that flowed nearby. With it's back almost breaking the surface, it, what ever it was, was swimming towards me. As it got closer I began to think that it wasn't a fish at all but maybe a large animal that was reluctant to come to the surface. But how could it hold it's breath for so long? I moved my face closer to the open window and rested my elbows onto the window ledge to get a better view. It was almost under my window now and still hadn't broken through the waters surface. What ever it was, it was of a very similar colour to the water. I could sense it's bulk below the surface as it seemed to serenely toss and turn until finally it stopped right under where my face was. I was frozen in place and all I could do was stare into the water to see what the hell it was that was down there! I held my breath and clenched my fists and waited!
Then, all of a sudden something broke the waters surface and the strange swimming creature emerged from the greenish liquid. I couldn't believe my eyes! At first I thought it was a child's ball that had floated up to the surface, but then quickly realized that it was indeed a head! A womans head! Her face was just inches away from mine and she looked directly into my eyes. I was instantly mesmerized by her eerie watery stare. Her mouth was shut. She must have been breathing through her nostrils, but i couldn't see any signs of air either escaping nor entering her nose. She had surfaced so absolutely silently and with no watery sounds or splashes that I thought I must be going deaf. Her mouth stayed shut and she said nothing. Her skin was as smooth as silk and had a slight green tint in it as if she had been swimming in this water for a lifetime!
As I sat there staring into her big round eyes one of her hands broke through the surface just next to her and she began to raise her small delicate hand to my face. The skin of her hand and arm was as smooth as her face. Her arms were bare and the tops of her shoulders bare also. She must had been naked. I couldn't see her breasts, as they stayed just below the waters surface. Her hand reached my face and her long slim fingers gently touched my cheek. I could feel she was cold and wet as she ran her fingertips down my face and onto my neck and shoulder. I could feel a million goosebumps erupt all over my body at once! I just sat there wondering what on earth she might do next! I was willing to let her do anything she wanted. I wanted for her to reach right inside my window and take hold of me and stroke my naked flesh all over. I wanter to take her in my arms and hold her so tight! I wanted us to become one.
She eventually reached down as far as my naked waist. Cool water dripped down from her fingers and trickled down my body onto my thighs. Then, just as quickly as she had leant in and placed her hands and arms around my body, she pulled me through the window and we both slipped into the dark cold water, where my shins scraped on the hard corners of the window ledge which made me wince and take in a deep breath of water! With her arms still tightly entwined around my waist she continued to take me down into the water! The darkness and the cold filled me from top to bottom. I let myself fall unconscious. I new I would be safe with her!




Jason








(C) JPT 2008

"Machines to Die By"

Watch them tiny metal spiders or else they will get you and eat you all up!



There was once a land, where the new born trails and yet to be discovered paths were all brand new, untouched and utterly virgin, not just to me but to everyone and everything. The ground that made up these lands, the dirt, the soil, the rotten vegetation and the like, kept things all nice and neat. Lovely and pleasant. Keeping the roots that shot out over thousands of years across the land, just under the surface, where they should be. Safe and sound, warm and cosy. Winding their way through the eon long buried stones, rocks and other hidden treasures like long dead sheep, cows and even a pheasant or two. Penetrating their pointed wooden tendrils straight through the surface of the rich fertile land at times. Making a maze out of the earth, lifting up on occasion areas of vegetation and in others, dragging them down, pulling them into the earth. Smothering, strangling them of their last rotting breath.
Cutting their way through these lands are various other things, animals of all kinds, more often than not though the leather clad feet of humans, who bought along their machines over a million years ago. Machines to help with their progress through these wood laden lands. Machines to make life easy, to make things more comfortable, perhaps even more exhilarating. Machines to test ones skills. Machines to make a living. Machines to sow and machines to reap. Machines to push fence posts into the flesh of the earth. To separate one land from another with mile long strips of rusty wire. Where tiny metal spiders cling. Their sharp teeth ready to catch discarded banana skins, lost plastic bags, wool from sheep, cloth and skin from humans.
I was born in this land of machines. I am there now, living in amongst all the earth and all the rotting vegetation. I am knee deep in it all and getting deeper and it feels wonderful. I can feel myself growing. Feeding off the death of the land. Me and my machine will be here for a while. Even after I have died and rotted into the earth, I shall still be here. As far as I am concerned, I have always been here and I always will be.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008

"The Pig & The Spider"

Too good for Spiders, but not good enough for Pigs!

A weather girl on the TV was explaining what the weather was going to be for the next day. She was quite attractive and dressed smartly. But as the weather forecast went on she seemed to become ill and started to hyper-ventilate! She found she couldn't breathe very well and started choking and she nearly fell over and looked very pale! She stayed in front of the camera and moved about in front of the weather screen trying not to fall over and looking for someone to come and help her. She looked panic stricken. A man came into view who was quickly buckling his belt up and suddenly noticed he was on camera and on live tv and his face went bright red and he looked away instantly. He helped the woman to sit down. The odd thing that I remember quite well was that all the while this was happening, the camera followed the weather girl and then the man too when he arrived, about the studio as they moved around. The man's fingers were covered in something wet. His fingers left damp patches on her clothes as he placed her into a chair. A clearish, sticky substance. The woman, who was now sitting and breathing deeply from her choking, noticed that the man's zipper down the front of his trousers were open and covered in damp patches and drips of the same substance that I noticed on the his fingers.

After a few moments, the weather girl had recovered enough to realize what had happened. And just as she went to confront the man, he placed an index finger up to his lips and very quietly gestured to her to be quiet.

She closed her eyes and began to sob...

I was waiting for a friend and his brother. Their mother strictly spoke to them in as if they were children. They were in another room, perhaps the bedroom. I sat in the room adjacent to the room they were in and was sat low down at one end of a very comfortable sofa. I was beginning to fall asleep over the sounds of the argument next door. I tried to keep my eyes from closing and concentrated on the far corner of the room where there was a man facing the wall.
He used to live there and harass the mother of the boys years ago and wore a jet black bomber jacket and looked exactly like a pig!
When I arrived a little while earlier, passing through the tiny drive, it was sunny and warm. There was an old car in the process of being restored but still looked just like a pile of junk ready for the scrapheap.
Back in the living room the pig man that was facing the wall had moved to one side and I could now see what the man was doing there. In front of him was a giant, hand sized spider with very muscular legs and a pulsating body! It was clinging to it's web which was stretched from one wall to the other and this pig man was teasing it and eventually grabbed it's web with the spider still attached and started to swing it into my face. I screamed like a girl and covered my eyes. The two boys who had been in the next room came running into the room that I was in to see what all the noise was about. The pig man then proceeded to swing the spider into the faces of my friend and his brother too. We all ran away flinching and screaming.
We ran so fast and so far away that we eventually ended up running straight into a very swollen river which was thick with silt and semi submerged branches. The under current was very strong and I could see just how strong by the fast flow of the river and the churning water bubbling it's way to the surface like giant airless bubbles of filthy dark water. The sun reflected off the surface showing all the movement on the waters thin skin. I was trying to navigate my way across it and back to the saftey of land. I had lost sight of my companions and found myself sink beneath the cold, dark water and came to rest on the stony bottom where I proceeded to roll and bounce along the river bed until all my breath had gone, where I just let myself die.




Jason


P.s. Happy Birthday Jac:)xxx








(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for September 2008"

Looking out over the South East of England from the very top of Pitch Hill in Surrey on September 26th 2008.



Thats it, the summer is well and truly over with and the winter is waiting just around the corner with her icy claws! September wasn't too bad as it goes. It was quite similar to August (but without the falling off;) But having just reached October (at the time of writing this) the cold cold wallop of the winter is just around the corner! There have been some wonderful clear skies recently and beautiful sunsets, but with the clear skies come the cold. Looks like I'll be getting out the full winter cycling gear in no time! I'm kinda looking forward to the cold. It's a Lovely, refreshing feeling when you get those clear, crisp nights up in the Surrey Hills when all the roots and grass are covered with frost. Not so good though when it's raining! But I think we are in for a very cold winter this year and hopefully lots of yummy snow too:)

I managed to stay on my bike the whole time during September, which was nice. Although I did have a near miss going up the Telegraph Row on Holmbury Hill when I bottomed out on a root with my pedal and I landed on the pointy part of my saddle with my Coxis with all my weight!! Ouch!! But at least I stayed on the bike. My thigh injury from August wasn't quite healed going into September but soon felt normal. As for my other joints, my ankles were more ok than not, although they do hurt all the time but alternate between feeling really bad and vulnerable and feeling really strong. The same can't be said for my right elbow though. It always starts off ok but towards the middle/end of the ride it feels awful! I even find that I can't pull the front brake lever because of the pain! And the pain in my right knee that I was experiencing the last month or so seems to have gone away thank goodness.


See you all next month:)



Tuesday 2nd September 2008 @ 19:30pm, SF, Lee, 11.96 miles, av 8, max 23.1 mph, 1hr 29mins, mild, very muddy, some spittle, thigh seemed ok, tyres worked well. Total 1694.57 miles.

Saturday 6th September 2008 @ 18:30pm, RP, 20.08 miles, av 12.1, max 22.1 mph, 1hr 39mins, rained pretty much the whole time, dark & mild. temp 15, wind 11. Total 1714.65 miles.

Tuesday 9th September 2008 @ 19:20pm, RP, 17.98 miles, av 12.4, max 24.4 mph, 1hr 27mins, spat for 10mins halfway around, mild & breezy, saw six toads, temp 17, wind 12. Total 1732.63 miles.

Friday 12th September 2008 @ 16:50pm, RPx2 & a third, 26.05 miles, av 12.6, max 27.8 mph, 2hrs 35mins, sunny, rainy, sunny, cool & breezy. Total 1758.68 miles.

Sunday 14th September 2008 @ 14:00pm, HH, PH, 13.99 miles, av 7.4, max 22.3 mph, 1hr 52mins, sunny, mild. Total 1772.67 miles.

Tuesday 16th September 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, HH, PH, 11.93 miles, av 7.8, max 23 mph, 1hr 31mins, temp 14. Total 1784.60 miles.

Sunday 21st September 2008 @ 14:50pm, SF, Lee, 14.78 miles, av 9, max 24 mph, 1hr 46mins, very warm & sunny, dry, temp 19. Total 1799.38 miles.

Wednesday 24th September 2008 @ 17:00pm, RPx2 & a third, 28.03 miles, av 12.2, max 26.3 mph, 2hrs 17mins, damp after rain, dry on Tamsin Trail, cool. Total 1827.41 miles.

Friday 26th September 2008 @ 17:00pm, HH, PH, Matt, Lee, 12.58 miles, av 7.5, max 24, 1hr 40mins, cool & very sunny, great sunset, dry and fast. Total 1839.99 miles.

Sunday 28th September 2008 @ 15:15pm (back at 19:20pm), Ian, Westcott to Box Hill to meet Mike & Graham and back again, 19.18 miles, av 7.7, max 25.3 mph, 2hrs 28mins, temp 17-14, wind 8. Total 1859.17.

Monday 29th September 2008 @ 12pm + 17pm, Car had it's MOT (and passed), 6.71 miles, av 11.3, max 22.8 mph, 35 mins, windy and sunny. Total 1865.88 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1865.88 miles (to end of September)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part four)

I am the one that waits by the end of your bed whilst you sleep. I wait until you notice me standing there in all my grotesque beauty! I shall wait forever for you!



"Part Four"




As I stepped out from the hot but glorious cabin of Rob's boat, I noticed Beechams look up from his silent, sun induced sleep and turn around to see us.

I thought Rob said his dog was deaf? I said to Neil.

He is deaf, he can feel us through the vibrations of us walking on the deck, said Neil as we walked side by side to the shop. It is only about one minutes walk away. All the people that own boats in the marina shop there. We passed their very nice looking boats along the way, but none as cool as Robs boat.
After jokingly looking at all the beers and spirits on sale we opted for several cans of Shandy Bass "British style lemonade mixed with the world renowned Bass Beer" it said on the side of the can. The fridge they came from was very cold and hummed steadily like a little twin prop plane a mile up in the sky at three in the morning. Along with the shandy, we also grabbed a couple of packets of Wine Gums. On our way to the cashier I took a quick look up at the top shelf of the magazine section. The dirty mags displayed there looked promising, like a bottomless bag of sweets or a big box of colourful fireworks. I thought how much I would like a pile of those under my bed for later on when I was alone. The one thousand butterflies in my tummy felt as though they were all holding hands and kissing. Erections came and went like the 281 bus in those days! It didn't take much either. The sound of a womans high heel shoes clicking along the pavement and I was there peeping through the curtains to see. The underwear section in my mum's catalogue was my favourite section, not the bikes nor the toys.

Neil soon dragged me away from the magazines and we made our way to the man behind the till. He was Indian and wore a turban on his head. After we bought our stuff we made a b-line for the exit thinking that we had just bought real alcoholic drinks. In fact, it had only 0.05% alcohol in it but that didn't stop us from gulping the stuff down with great speed, as funny as it seems we really honestly began to feel more and more drunk by the second. It was a great feeling as we ran back, frothy shandy spilling down our suntanned knuckles and down onto the sun scorched concrete of the ground. We skipped back like a couple of little girls, burping like mad and enjoying every second of it.

But before we made our way back to Robs, we went for a little walk to Radnor Gardens which was right by the shop. It is a kind of fenced grassy area wedged between the main road and the River Thames, used mostly for fishing, taking your dog to shit and where old people could play lawn bowls and get bitten by red ants! There was also a playground for kids and a sort of old concrete gazebo thing where heroin addicts would go to eat their sweets.
Also in one overgrown and well hidden corner, by the road, was a man-hole cover where, if you lifted it up and crawled down inside, you could creep along the pitch black tunnels that stretched under the main road to Twickenham and Popes Grotto. We had been down there before with only a box of matches and an old newspaper for light and only had the courage to get to the first corner after spotting a strange man hiding down there in the dark, before running back the way we came at record speed and scrambling back out of the hole back into the safety of daylight. We scared each other even more by convincing ourselves that he wasn't a man at all, nor even human, who would wait for small vulnerable but ultra curious children to walk into his lair where he would grab you, undress you and cover your mouth with a strip of smelly, dirty old rag and then hang you up on rusty old meat hooks that were screwed into the dark damp walls of the tunnel like trophies. Sometimes he would sit you up by his side whilst he held a match close to your naked trembling body and stare at you! And when he'd finished with you he would cut you up into tiny little bits and at midnight would climb out of his hole and feed you to the ducks in the Thames! We didn't go in there too many times!
As we walked along the foot path right next to the rivers edge, we came across a fisherman sat by the steep sided bank. The concentration smeared across his face was almost as still as the float that was attached to the end of his line. He jumped and quickly looked around at us, almost breaking his neck as Neil said to him, Oi mister! Caught anything good?
No, not yet!, said the fisherman, as he looked back at his dead still, bright orange tipped float. Just a maggot. he sarcastically went on to say.
Alright Grandad, keep your fucking hair on! Neil burped back as he grabbed me by the arm and said Come on! lets leave the old bugger to play with his maggots.

With our bellies full of shandy and our gobs stuffed with Wine Gums we bloatedly walked back to the magnificent torpedo boat.





Jason








(C) JPT 2008

"Too Small Watery Room"

I am here, more than that I do not know.




Wow-weee! If I was minuscule enough, I'd Love to swim in that there rain droplet:)

Imagine that!!!!!! spoke the softest, sweetest voice I had ever heard!

I did, I did. I excitedly replied.

And, as I was in that there rain droplet, everyone looked like those cute dogs with the little bodies, big heads and even bigger noses. It was like looking into the back of a highly polished giant silver spoon! It was utterly amazing! Only when someone took time to come and visit me, that is. Because most of the time I would be alone, but happy in the knowledge that someone would be along to witness such a spectacle. Of course, I didn't mind spending most of the day and night all on my own. I Loved every moment of my isolations. It gave me time to think of all that had gone before me and all that might come. I could also make out the other rain droplets attached to the same leaf as mine and they were all empty! I couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing that I was the only one occupying one of these numerous land based cloud fragments. In the end, my little, and infrequent visits from my gigantic deformed friends and family stopped. I felt so alone all of a sudden and trapped! There was absolutely no escape. The walls of my watery sphere were so thick and strong, only a man with much more strength than I might succeed in making good a run to freedom. I wouldn't have got far, even if I had been able to escape. I was literally miles up in the air. With an endless space before me, full of all kinds of dangerous creatures and hazzards, all I wanted was to be back in my liquid lair, only for me to want to get out again lest a slug slithered across on his slippery tummy and drank my little minuscule home, along with me too! I wouldn't have lasted long in there anyway. I suppose a tiny droplet of water such as mine would only last a little while before it evaporated into thin air leaving me wriggling like a fish out of water on the rough surface of my new leafy home, only for me to quickly dry up into a little minuscule crispy version of myself. One by one the other rain droplets would ever so discreetly and invisibly hiss back into the sky from whence they came. I'd be totally naked too. I mean, you wouldn't want to swim in your clothes would you? My skin would very rapidly stretch tight across the thin fragile skelington of my withered, dried, sun scorched body. If I wasn't in so much pain, I'd be able to hear my skin as it cracked and split across the more pointy sections of my once beautiful physique. Anyone listening, even right up close, would not hear a thing as I slowly but inevitably disappeared completely. Unless of course I was eaten first by that hungry slug or greedy snail. Which wouldn't be so unlikely, because I remember seeing tens of the things at any one time, especially just after rain, and even more so their pearlescent trails criss-crossing the garden, before I ended up in this place. I thought it was going to be wonderful in here. I thought that I could live out the rest of my days inside this droplet, watching the world go by as I did so. I thought this was my new living place. I thought this was my new room to dream in. I wanted to die peacefully in here, but I can't even do that. My new home will be no more long before I die. My space is not mine. It never has been, nor will it ever be!





Jason

Special thanks to Shelley Skinner for the use of her wonderful photo taken in her garden in Margate on the 11th September 2008.








(C) JPT 2008

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part three)

All action takes place, so to speak, in a kind of twilight, which like a fog or moonlight, often tends to make things seem grotesque and larger than they really are.





"Part Three"


Was this torpedo boat in the war? I asked, as I tried to look past the bus driver and into the kitchen to see where Neil had got to, but found myself strangely drawn to his eyes.
Oh yes Jason, it most certainly was, he said smiling. Although there are no torpedoes on her anymore. I still use her to sail across to the French coast and pick up cheap alcohol on occasion.
I didn't know whether he was smiling about the trips to France or maybe because he was pleased to have two young boys inside his spectacular boat? But he didn't take his eyes off me the whole time. I could see the tiny red veins inside the yellowing whites of his eyes, we were that close to each other. I imagined he was a smoker, although I could see no ashtrays or smell anything.
I knew all too well the signs of a smoker as my dad smoked and although he didn't seem to have yellowing eyes like Rob, he did have dark brown stains on the fingers of his left hand. As he held his roll-ups the grey white smoke would seep out in a steady stream and pass over the skin of his fingers and eventually turn them brown. They reminded me of burnt sausages!
Wow! I said while trying to step back a little. France is miles away, I thought. Although nothing was physically stopping me, I couldn't move an inch and breathing a silent sigh of relief as I saw Neil come back in from the kitchen holding a single cup of tea. I could see the steam rising up from the top of the cup. He handed it to his friend Rob and then asked him where his partner was.
Oh, yes, he isn't here at the moment. It's just the three of us and Beechams, He is on the buses all afternoon. he said.
Beechams was the name of his deaf Dalmatian dog who was lying outside on the deck of the boat enjoying the wonderful sunshine.
As Rob took hold of the boiling hot drink around the thin china sides of the liquid heavy cup he grimaced from the pain he felt from the intense heat and rapidly grabbed the handle that Neil had let go of. I noticed the hand that had been burned was down by his side, his fingers rubbing against each other to calm the pain.
MMmmm, Lovely cuppa Neil, as always. Aren't you and Jason going to have one? he said, looking at me as he supped the hot brown liquid.
I looked at Neil to see what he was going to say. I certainly didn't want a hot drink. A cup of tea on a hot summers day is just mental, I thought! I knew Neil pretty well and reckoned on him not wanting one either. I looked at Rob to make sure he had looked away before looking at Neil again and nodding towards outside, whilst pretend wiping sweat from my forehead and blowing air up the front of my face. I was hot, but I wasn't sweating. Neil used to sweat quite a lot in those days. I often wondered when I would sweat like that. Although he was just a year older than me, I saw him as a Man and was in awe of his ability to be able to produce such manly things as spunk and sweat. He even had pubic hair around his cock!

No thanks Rob, said Neil. We fancy a cold drink actually. I don't see any in the fridge...

Before Neil could finish, Rob had set down his steaming cuppa on the side and had his wallet in his hand. He was leafing through his money.

Hey! Why don't you guys pop around to the shops and get yourselves whatever you want? Said Rob as he eventually handed us a brand new crisp ten pound note. He handed it to Neil, who said thank you and stuffed it into his pocket without even looking at it. I hadn't seen too many ten pound notes in my life. Just the ones that I would occasionally see my Mum and Dad handle in doors. None of them as brand new as this one. The ones I had seen before were normally very tatty and covered in numbers written in biro and felt tip pen. I wished how much I had been handed the note. I would probably have made a fool of myself by just staring at it and feeling it, taking in that strange but rather enticing smell too! I would try and get to hold it once we were outside and on our way to the tiny row of shops by the entrance to the marina.

Thanks Rob, we'll just pop down to the shops then, we won't be long.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for August 2008"

Swinley Forest, Berkshire, August 22nd.


If last month's cycling (July) was hampered by the dreaded lurgee, then August was a month of dreaded falls! Lee had a silly fall and cut his shin...we even had bets as to wether the blood would reach his sock by the time we got back to the car park. It didn't, and I won:) After all, I know a little about blood;)
Phil fell off during his sponsored bike ride in the Highlands of Scotland and walloped his hip and I had two falls, the first of which where I inadvertently kicked my bike with my right shin (the bump of which is still there today!) when I failed to reach the top of a small but steep climb and went over backwards to the bottom and the second fall last Tuesday when I had to put my foot down to steady myself up some tricky roots and somehow managed to fall over right onto my left thigh right onto a root! The worst place really as it is the biggest muscle and is quite important for cycling. I am still feeling the result of the fall exactly one week later but think I am ready for another ride tonight to see if it is ok. Having to cycle back to the car didn't help either and I couldn't help laugh when I discovered on my trip computer the mileage:- 6.66 miles!!!! Fortunately, none of the falls were serious and we all lived to ride another day:)

The weather was ok though and a fair few rides were, er, ridden;) I have some new tyres (Maxxis Medusa 2.1) and a new bottom bracket after I had a failure halfway around Swinley Forest. The dent in my frame (Elvis) hasn't gotten any worse, which is nice. I keep expecting it to break as I'm hurtling down one of the many descents that we encounter. That'll be an interesting ride, that's for sure;)

And sometimes cycling buddy Matthew Moulding finally completed his off-road sponsored mountain bike ride from John O Groats to Lands End on the 25th August. It'll be nice to ride with him again soon and hear all about it. Fancy a blast in the Surrey Hills dude? You can read all about his ride by visiting his website at http://bloodsweatandtyres.blogspot.com/ where you can still donate and help raise money for The Haemophilia Society.

And as for my joints (damaged or otherwise) they have been up and down regarding pain. My right knee seems to have settled down after I thought it was going the same way as both my ankles and right elbow. Maybe it still will, but for the moment anyway, it has behaved well during the last few rides. My right ankle on the other hand has been a right pain in the arse as has my right elbow. Nothing new there really, it just prevents me from cycling as fast or as hard as I know I can! Besides all that, I am however feeling very fit and healthy and cycling is by far the best way for any haemophiliac to help keep those joints from seizing up. Keep them moving and build that muscle up around those joints and you'll last for years. Yes, you will be in a lot of pain at times (try every single day) but it's worth it...mostly;)


See you all next month:)



Friday 1st August 2008 @ 16:20pm, Lee, Matt, Swinley Forest (SF), 14.15 miles, av 8.2, max 24.6 mph, warm & breezy, bottom bracket seized up!, 1hr 43mins. Total 1486.09 miles.

Sunday 3rd August 2008 @ 16:30pm, RPx2 and a third, 30.34 miles, av 14.1, max 27.7 mph, 2hrs 9mins, first half dry and sunny & cool then rain and wind, temp 20, wind 14, Dessert Storm, right knee was ok but right arm hurt. Total 1516.43 miles.

Tuesday 5th August 2008 @ 18:50pm, RPx2 and a third, 25.59 miles, av 14.2, max 28.8 mph, 1hr 48mins, mild, breezy, tiny bit of rain, knee hurt a bit the whole way around, temp 25. Total 1542.02 miles.

Friday 8th August 2008 @ 16:20pm, Lee, Matt, HH, PH, 14.60 miles, av 7.6, max 21.1 mph, 1hr 55mins, right after downpour and was very wet and muddy under tyre, warm & sunny during ride, temp 18. Total 1556.62 miles.

Sunday 10th August (happy birthday Lee:), 2008 @ 20:25pm, RP, 18.02 miles, av 12.3, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 28mins, cool, dusk/dark, damp, temp 17, wind 13. Total 1575.64 miles.

Tuesday 12th August 2008 @ 19:40pm, Lee, SF, 11.74 miles, av 7, max 24.4 mph, 1hr 39mins, very muddy from recent rain, dusk/dark, cool, I fell off near the sandy cutting when I didn't make it to the top of a steep slope and fell backwards hitting my right shin on my bike as I went!, I also managed to hurt my other leg and my right ankle was hurting a lot before I even started!, spotted a little mouse and an ugly toad too:) Total 1586.38 miles.

Thursday 14th August 2008 @ 17:50pm, RP, 18.22 miles, av 13.1, max 26.2 mph, 1hr 23mins, mild, sunny, damp after rain, saw Jac & her mum in Kingston on their way to see Mama Mia at the cinema. Total 1604.60 miles.

Friday 15th August 2008 @ 18:50pm, BP, RP, Lee, 17.10 miles, av 13.3, max 27.9 mph, 1hr 17mins, cool, sunny, Dessert Storm, right knee hurt a bit, temp 19, wind 11. Total 1621.70 miles.

Sunday 17th August 2008 @ 13:00pm, HH, LH, Phil, 13.53 miles, av 7.6, max 28.9 mph, 1hr 47mins, mild, dry, very busy with other mountain bikers, Phil's first ride since Scotland ride with Matthew. Total 1635.23 miles.

Tuesday 19th August 2008 @ 19:40pm, SF, Lee, 12.05 miles, av 8.4, max 18.9 mph, 1hr 25mins, rain at first then sunset and then dark, muddy, wet but very good ride, ankle and knee felt great!, right elbow lock into bent position at the end and didn't unlock itself until I had bath 2hrs later!, temp 19. Total 1647.28 miles.

Friday 22nd August 2008 @ 16:20pm, SF, Lee, 15.02 miles, av 8.3, max 20.2 mph, 1hr 47mins, sunny, mild, sunset, Lee fell off doing a silly wheelie and cut his shin!, temp 20. Total 1662.30 miles.

Sunday 24th August 2008 @ 13:20pm, HH, PH, Lee, Phil, Stuart Howe, 13.65 miles, av 7.9, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 44mins, sunny, muddy after rain, warm, temp 21, Phil didn't feel too well at the start but soon got back into things after a nice hot steak & kidney pie and a cup of tea from Peaslake Village Store, we saw Dunsfold Wings & Wheels airshow from the tops of Holmbury & Pitch Hills. Total 1675.95 miles.

Tuesday 26th August 2008 @ 19:40pm, SF, Lee, 6.66 miles!, av 8.4, max 19.7 mph, 47mins, dry and warm new Maxxis Medusa tyres, I fell off riding up some roots in the dark and put my foot down funny and went over onto the roots on my left thigh!!!! I am still recovering as I type this (Tuesday 2nd Sept) but hope to get out later for the first time since to see how it has healed, temp 20. Total 1682.61 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1682.61 miles (to end of August)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part two)

Slowly, I turn to stone and set upon you as a long lost anchor might in the sands of our vast empty oceans. My face is a blur as I encase you with my Love and never ever let you go!





"Part Two"


This is Rob, The owner of this fine looking boat, said Neil.


The boat was indeed a fine boat! All shiny, where there was brass. And beautiful bright paint that covered the rest of her. Well hidden from the river Thames proper. One couldn't see her if you were to find yourself passing by on a leisure boat or maybe if you were taking a stroll along the tow-path across the other side of the river.

I just looked at the ground and went all shy. I was a very shy person and would always look at the ground when confronted with new people. When I was very young and my Mum had visitors in the house, they would think there was something wrong with me! Why doesn't he talk? Can he talk? What does he do there hidden away between the wall and the sofa?
I couldn't move. If I moved so much as an inch then my presence would be detected and my cover would be blown! I would then have to say hello or even worse sit on someones lap or have my cheek squeezed or god forbid, kissed! I was good at keeping still. I don't need a solid wall to Hide behind.
In fact, I would on occasion go back to my hiding place there behind the sofa when I was all alone and play with matches! I used to Love playing with fire! I still do.

This was a man who I admired already though! He was the owner of an actual WW2 torpedo boat and to top it all off, he was a fucking bus driver too! I have caught a few buses in my pre-car years and I would either be found up stairs on the top deck, right at the front sitting right over where the driver would be. I would look down into the little glass window that the driver would use to see if someone was being murdered or was smoking up on the top deck or drawing on the windows. I could just make out the face of the driver through the numerous prisms and mirrors that joined up the two windows. And if I wasn't upstairs, I would be down stairs actually watching the bus driver with my very own eyes. Especially his arms and hands steering the giant bright red machine around the tight narrow streets of Twickenham. It always amazes me how they get those things around those tight little corners. I imagined I would be a fantastic bus driver!

Come in, come in, said Rob the bus driver, as Neil & I both stepped onto the deck of the boat. Make yourselves at home.

Yeah right, I thought. I'll go up to my room and have a wank shall I?

I could never make myself at home in a strange mans house, let alone a strange mans boat! What if it floated away downstream and ended up in the middle of the ocean! As I looked at the floor I did manage to see that the brass that was so magnificently displayed on the outside of the boat had also exquisitely crept into the cabin area too. Amongst all the brightly polished brass and various post cards from all over the world that were neatly displayed on the shelves and sort of Dashboard area, were a whole bunch of circular glass dials about five inches across set in beautiful frames of more brass. I didn't ask, but I presumed that these were the dials that told the Skipper how fast or how slow he was going. The rest of the room looked dark in comparison. Almost black. Coming inside from the bright sunshine made everything apart from the brass quite difficult to see.
Neil had gone off into the kitchen area, I could tell it was a kitchen because I heard a kettle switch on and start boiling and the sound of metal tea spoons clinking against china. I just kept looking between the floor & the brass and saw Rob had shuffled over to my side and asked me what I thought.
I said that it was quite impressive. As my eyes got used to the light change I saw that he was not wearing any shoes but still had his socks on that were white. His trousers were the distinctive light grey colour of a bus drivers uniform. He said, Impressive only?, it takes hours of elbow grease to keep that brass as shiny as that.
I eventually looked up from the dark coloured carpet, polished brass in my peripherals and up along his legs, past his belted waist to his face. He was jacketless and just had a crisp white shirt on, just like the kind a bus driver would wear, although I had seen some of them wearing grey shirts. I always thought the white ones much better.
His hair was grey and neatly cut, his chin covered in a whitish prickly stubble, which reminded me of my dad.

So this is what bus drivers looked like when they weren't driving buses I thought.



To be continued...





Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for July 2008"

Phil & I near Holmbury St Mary, Surrey, 13th July.


Well, as you learned in my last cycling post, I came down with the lurgee which lasted most of the second half of July but that didn't stop me from getting out there on my bike with a bit of a chest infection! I even think it helps to clear it if you can get out and work those lungs a bit. So thats what I did. And besides, I was positively going mad having not ridden my bike for a total of 10 days in a row!!!

The rest of July saw me out a few more times between going to a music festival and school reunion with an old friend:) It seemed to take me ages to recover fully and get back into the swing of things where cycling was concerned. I even managed to dent my frame (Elvis) when I nearly came a cropper down a particularly technical rooty section of single track in Swinley Forest. I was momentarily distracted for a split second and almost went over the handlebars, but instead managed to step off to the side as there was a steep bank there, but unfortunately it was covered in roots that my bike fell on. The dent is only small and won't effect the strength of the tube, which is good:)

As I write this (sort of mid August) the weather has been alright I suppose, so far. I should have been taking part in a sponsored bike ride in aid of the Haemophilia Society but have thought long and hard about it and decided to knock it on the head. Mainly because my right knee hasn't been feeling quite right the last month or so and the mileage involved and the unpredictability of the terrain I thought it better to not take any unnecessary risks! I'll talk more about the sponsored ride in next months post, by which time Matthew Moulding (ride organizer & lead rider) will have finished his amazing 1200 mile off-road adventure.

Congratulations to Phil by the way for doing his bit (the first week) in a midgey infested Scottish Highlands! I saw the evidence just last Sunday when we rode Holmbury & Leith Hills together. His legs are absolutely covered in midgey bites still!!!!

See you all next time:)


Tuesday 1st July 2008 @ 16:00pm, RP, 16.54 miles, av 14.3, max 28.5 mph, 1h 9mins, during my ride I came across a mountain bike lying on the road in Kingston by the bridge and a skip lorry, all of which was cordoned off by police tape and being photographed by police photographers! There had been an accident where the cyclist was knocked off by the lorry and the bike was bent like a banana! Apparently, it wasn't all that serious. I found the incident in the local paper the following week and the cyclist escaped with only a minor leg injury!! Lucky fucker or what!!! Temp 27. Total 1373.68 miles.

Friday 4th July 2008 @ 17:00pm, SF, Lee Ian, 16.84 miles, av 9.3, max 21.3 mph, 1hr 39mins, dry, warm, temp 19. Total 1390.52 miles.

Tuesday 8th July 2008 @ 18:00pm, 12.85 miles, RP, av 13.9, max 26.1 mph, 55mins, mild, windy. Total 1403.37 miles.

Sunday 13th July 2008 @ 13:00pm, HH, LH, Phil, 21.10 miles, av 8, max 38.8 mph, 2hrs 37mins, warm, sunny. Right knee didn't quite feel right! Developed a rotten cold & chest infection the next day! Total 1424.47 miles.

Thursday 24th July 2008 @ 14:00pm, Jac, RP, 21.26 miles, av 11.5, max 27.4 mph, 1hr 51mins, temp 28, wind 11, very hot, still had cold & cough and knee playing up (right)! Good to get out though! Total 1445.73 miles.

Sunday 27th July 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, HH, PH, 11.82 miles, av 7.9, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 29mins, very warm, temp 25 (30 during the day), right knee hurt again! Total 1457.55 miles.

Tuesday 29th July 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, SF, 14.39 miles, av 8.4, max 21 mph, 1hr 42 mins, warm, right knee hurt after 10 miles, used lights for the first time since winter. Total 1471.94 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1471.94 miles (to end of July)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part one)

Come, child. Come sit on my knee!



"Part One"

What's it going to be then, eh?

They were the words that were left floating around my empty mind!

I can't decide, I thought to myself. You decide for gods sake, decide!, I said out loud.

Well, I know this bloke who owns this WWII torpedo boat. He lives with another man down by the marina next to Radnor Gdns and he says I can come round and see it anytime I want, he's well generous and said he might even take me up the river in it.

What, near where the old bags play bowls?

Yeah, thats the place, You wanna go?

Fuck Yeah!

Well that was enough for me! We were halfway through our Summer school holidays and bored shitless. I had know idea how Neil new this man with the torpedo boat, but how on earth could I turn down an offer such as this. I couldn't wait to see it. It certainly beat setting fire to railway embankments and spying on homeless weirdos who live in secret tunnels under the roads of Twickenham. Not to mention the hours wasted talking about American custom cars, reading BMX magazines, talking about kissing girls, tits and wanking.

I found out the owner of the torpedo boat was called Rob and he was a bus driver. He always wore his grey uniform. The man that lived with him, I didn't know his name, was never there when Rob was in. Just Rob and his Dalmatian dog, who was as deaf as a post.
The first time I saw that boat I was speechless! It was immaculate! The brass that covered the boats wonderfully preserved surfaces, inside and out, were always polished and although it didn't have any torpedoes anymore, it did have a history in that it used to ferry supplies over to the French coast for the men fighting in the Second World War. I have always Loved battleship grey. It reminds me of the ocean. I could only stand in wonderment as to the sorts of magnificent ships that this tiny little boat had chugged between. The sun was high in the sky and made a b-line straight for the shimmering brass fixtures & fittings.

I was very young at the time, maybe about 9 or so. Neil was a year older than I, but much more mature and unlike me, he could already produce something called Spunk from his penis. He once showed me a polaroid of his Mums boyfriend. He had an erection in it! I never looked at the man in the same way again! I was quite jealous that Neil was able to do this kind of stuff. He also showed me what this spunk looked like once whilst he was showing me his penis. He had an erection, bigger it seemed than mine would ever be, and pulled his foreskin back, something else I couldn't do! He pointed to this tiny amount of white stuff that resembled cotton fluff around the edge of what he called his German helmet. I was amazed at what I saw and wondered when I would see some of my very own. Much later on, about three or four years, I came to realize that it was in fact cotton fluff from his pants that he was showing me and not spunk at all! Real spunk was, still is a wonderful substance that if it were humanly possible one would continuously spray it over anything and everything, including oneself! I never saw my German helmet until I was circumcised some 20 years later! I wasn't allowed one because of my bleeding disorder! Of all the many trips to hospital over the years, I often found myself wondering if my foreskin would ever grace the inside of one of those 'Hospital Waste! For Incineration Only' skips outside the back of the hospital. And then, when I finally did have it cut away, I imagined what a thousand foreskins might look like all in a single pile, with mine flopped on the top like someones discarded chewing gum.

Thats all we did back in those days. Talked about erections, spunk, cocks, girls and wanking and listening on his record player to the sounds of drag cars screeching their way up the rubber scorched, twin black strips of Santa Pod's 1/4 mile stretch on a flimsy 7" record that he'd gotten free with an old copy of Custom Car magazine.
But a trip to see Neil's new friend Rob and his amazing torpedo boat seemed like a wonderful idea. Something different. Something to boast about when we eventually went back to school later on that year.


To be continued...



Jason

P.s. Happy Birthday to my best mate Lee tomorrow:)








(C) JPT 2008.........

"Demolished Are The Stars"

And we all fall in!


The center of it all, the darkness where I fall,
See how the core is built.
The mantle is where I sleep away, where morning doesn't call,
See how the crust is built.
The oceans boil for me to see, the light that says no to me,
See how the Earth is built.
The air that rushes in, to push out any breath so thin,
See how the sky is built.
The darkness comes flooding back, theres nothing there, just black,
No one is building stars anymore!




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for June 2008"

Hiding from the ghouls & ghosts of Friday The Thirteenth!



Is it or is it not that our summer this year is already over and done with? If it is over, then June seemed to be it! July has been average weather wise. Nothing like what we all expected thats for sure! There have been a few good days so far in July, but not as many as June had. The singletrack trails up in The Surrey Hills have never been so dry and fast since the end of last summer! Oh well, maybe the end of July will incinerate us all and laugh in our scabby, sizzling sunburnt faces whilst brightly shouting "You couldn't bloody wait, could you!" & "Here, have some fucking sunshine, enough to last you a lifetime!".

Plus, July (so far) seems to be the month of germs and colds, with everyone passing their beloved lurgee onto the person next to them etc etc. It's my turn at the moment, and everyone that I know too has had it already! I may very well be the last to get it out of everyone, so, does this mean that I am the strongest or does it mean that I am the best at hiding from the dreaded lurgee? Either way, I have it now...who wants it after me? Anyone? Anyone?






Sunday 1st June 2008 @ 16:00pm, RPx2, 24.03miles, av 13.6, max 29.1mph, 1hr 46mins, warm , no wind, temp 21, wind 6. Total 1178.90 miles.

Thursday 5th June 2008 @ 13:00pm, RPx2, 25.62 miles, av 12.8, max 29 mph, 2hrs, hot, temp 21, wind 3. Total 1204.52 miles.

Friday 6th June 2008 @ 17:00pm, Lee, Matt, HH, PH, HH, 13.02miles, av 7.8, max 24.8 mph, 1hr 40mins, temp 18, wind 4. Total 1217.54 miles.

Sunday 8th June 2008 @ 13:00pm, Lee, Phil, HH, LH, HH, 20.74miles, av 8.3, max 33.2 mph, 2hrs 29mins, hot, sunny, temp 25, wind 9. Total 1238.28 miles.

Friday 13th June @ 19:00pm, Lee, Mike, Ian, Matt, HH, PH, HH, 14.52 miles, av 7.5, max 27.7 mph, 1hr 56mins, mild, temp 17. Total 1252.80 miles.

Sunday 15th June @ 13:00pm, Marble Hill Park & RP, 15.29 miles, av 12.9, max 28.1 mph, 1hr 11mins, warm, windy, temp 18, wind 10. Total 1268.09 miles.

Monday 16th June 2008 @ 19:00pm, Swinley Forest, Lee, Ian, 17.18miles, av 8.1, max 29.4 mph, 2hrs 7mins, mild, tiny bit of rain, very good ride, mostly new trails (yellow brick rd), temp 17, right arm sore! Total 1285.27 miles.

Sunday 22nd June 2008 @ 13:00pm, Phil, HH, PH, LH, 21.68 miles, av 8.1, max 27.9 mph, 2hrs 40mins, temp 21, sunny, windy, Phil new red pedals. Total 1306.95 miles.

Thursday 26th June 2008 @ 15:00pm, RP, 23.51miles, av 14.2, max 26.5 mph, 1hr 39mins, sunny, windy, warm, new road tyres on Dessert Storm, very fast! Total 1330.46 miles.

Saturday 28th June 2008 @ 15:00pm onwards, Bon Jovi concert at Twick Rugby Ground & Mums, 10.49 miles, av 13.6, max 23.9 mph, 46mins, warm, windy, Dessert Storm. Total 1340.95 miles.

Sunday 29th June 2008 @ 19:45pm, Lee, 16.19 miles, SF, av 8.2, max 19.8 mph, 1hr 58mins, warm & dry. Total 1357.14 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........Total 1340.95 miles (up to June 28th)

"The Ninth Breath"

A bleeding moon in a blackened night sky that even death cannot escape!



It was the Ninth breath breathing I hear,
The ninth night goes on and on, the night of the tear,
Hiding behind smoked, dark glassy eyes,
Crashing through zebras as this time of day dies,
No one can see, but the blood, it is falling,
The damage is done, the distance is calling,
Deadly quiet, loud torment,
Isn't crying hell sent,
Crying is beautiful, crying is sad,
There's no end to this agony, no smile to be had,
One hundred miles to our open wound,
Stitches wide to swallow the moon,
I try to bring you back in my night time,
You find your way back to me, I miss you, what a crime,
Still breathing the ninth, my baby is here,
I can feel her crying, she's so near,
How is it done, she's so far away,
In exactly the same place, she saves me another day,
Almost over, this place thats so right,
Back home to my dreaming place, saved for the night.



Jason







(C) JPT 2008

"He Buzzes like a Fridge"

Mister Yorke doing everything but disappearing completely in a park in London last Wednesday.


The big black cat pushed home
holding half her bloody wardrobe
proceeded to stick it in his aching back
and to all his fellow humans
he said "don't even fucking go there!"
I stood with whom I liked, see
she looked me up and down
but I threw her with my eyes!

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

I stood in the middle
and shuffled round in the heat
they were cheering and waving
pointing and smoking and drinking
singing and dancing like with drunken Meerkats
but it got heated, fucked up
colourful, squashed up
used as a stepping stone to York
buried in a burning back in London

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

Don’t know why I walked away to find the back of the queue!

My reason was safe and a little needed
I stretched and I hobbled like with those drunken Meerkats
you should put me in a hole or you should put me up a tree
I got drunk
We got drunk, see

No one Loves a retarded arse but we all Love our rock & roll stars
this wasn't her infection, I did it for me
I must have got it from years of being
strangled, beaten up and drowned in the sea
I got drunk
We got drunk, You & Me

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!




Jason


P.s. Happy Birthday to Manf tomorrow:)xxx








(C) JPT 2008

"Freeze Dried Vagina's"

What do I use to eat it? An old fashioned spoon or just my tongue?


Written on April 3rd 2007 (Sexually explicit)


"Freeze Dried Vagina's"


The low hum of the refrigerator was strangely soothing to me as I stood in front of the giant luminous monstrosity. The kind you might find at the back of a small high street newsagents or petrol station, where the ready made sandwiches, chilled drinks & pork pies are normally found. My feet were pointing directly towards the fridge, which was of the open kind that didn't have any doors, and from my peripheral vision, I could see that the rest of the room, wether selling petrol or not, was in total darkness. From a distance it must have looked as if I was walking straight into the pearly gates of heaven. A silhouetted figure surrounded by a bright light of unimaginable pleasures. They wouldn't be too far off the mark either, as on the very top shelf, inside this giant glowing cool box, just a little higher than my eye line, were a small line of what at first glance looked like pots of yoghurt, all different kinds of fruits & flavours in varying degrees of bright fluorescent colours. They certainly stood out from the rest of the boring, drab looking and totally unappetizing range of products elsewhere inside the fridge. I was intrigued and wanted to get a little closer. I shuffled forwards a little until my toes bumped into the metal strip that surrounded the base of the fridge. As my toes made contact with the metal, the hum that had been steadily thrumming from the machine changed tone and became quieter. My hands were in their pockets, fingering the loose change that had accumulated there over the last few days. As my eyes began to focus on the pots, I was amazed and more than a little excited as to what I thought I could see!
For there before me, in amongst everything else, were a line of clear plastic pots each sealed with a thin tin foil lid. In each of the pots contained a perfectly clear jelly like substance. And in each of which suspended a perfectly sized and perfectly detailed human vagina. Each one slightly different to the one next to it, and each one neatly trimmed or completely hairless. Some were completely naked and others were covered with a tiny strip of brightly coloured fabric that resembled part of a panty. These jelly suspended freeze dried vagina's looked so delicate and perfect in every way. Their pink skin tones varied from pot to pot as my eyes scanned the line. One was rather quite pale and completely shaved, another seemed to be slightly tanned and had a small amount of pubic hair. Some were very little and others showing absolutely everything, with nothing at all left to the imagination. Whichever one I decided to look at, I just could not decide which one that I wanted. If indeed I should take one at all!





Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for May 2008"

Who's a silly boy eh?



What's this? Another boring "My Cycling" post? You guessed it. As you can see, I cycled about a bit in Richmond Park (where invisible non-bike users keep moving small to medium sized logs around the trail just to piss off the mountain bikers!)...now, if they really want us to stop riding there, they should either set up little land mines everywhere that are only activated when there is a mountain bike in close proximity, or place large to massive sized logs in the way that can't be moved! Silly non-bike people! When will they learn eh?
And also, I have been cycling about a bit up in the Surrey Hills too. Leith, Holmbury & Pitch to be exact. Even here (where all the hills were built especially for us mountain bikers...& horses of course:) have there small to medium sized log placeage problems! There are some non-bike users up there who (when us mountain bikers are at school;) cut down the trees in the woods that our single track winds through and leave all the rubbish bits behind all over the track!! The other day we were there, we couldn't even see where the trail went!! Whats going on? And, the woods smell of diesel oil that has been leaking from the monstrous machines that the non-bike user people use to chop down their precious trees! Could this be the beginning of the end for mountain biking up in the Surrey Hills? At least we didn't come across any dangerous land mines!! I've already had two punctures in a week!!

See you next month my non-walking, non-log putting, non-diesel dripping people...& horses of course:)


Friday 2nd May 2008 @ 19:00, RPx2, Ian, Mike, 30.51 miles, av 11.8, max 28.2 mph, 2hrs 34mins, dry, cool, dusk then dark, spotted one badger, Temp 10, wind 5. Total 1001.95 miles.

Sunday 4th May 2008 @ 20:10, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.08 miles, av 7.6, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 26mins, very warm, dry with a bit of rain, dark, temp 18, wind 6. Total 1013.03 miles.

Tuesday 6th May 2008 @ 20:10, SF, Lee, James, Paul, Stef, 9.68 miles, av 7.5, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 17mins, very warm and dry, cut my left shin, temp 17. Total 1022.71 miles.

Friday 9th May 2008 @ 20:09, Lee, HH, PH, LL. 11.32 miles, av 7.9, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 26mins, temp 17, wind 3. Total 1034.03 miles.

Sunday 11th May 2008 @ 13:00, RP, BP, 20.46 miles, av 13.1, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 33mins, very hot and quite breezy, It was Horse Chestnut Parade in BP this afternoon, so I stopped by there during my ride and lay in the sun with my niece Daisy and my Mum, then Tarn, Naif & Millie came along too, my ankles were very painful and hurt like hell all night!!! Temp 26, wind 13. Total 1054.49 miles.

Tuesday 13th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RP, 14.39 miles, av 14.3, max 30 mph, 1hr, sunny & warm. Total 1068.88 miles.

Friday 16th May 2008 @ 20:00pm, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.95 miles, av 8.3, max 28.8 mph, 1hr 26mins, cool, dry, wind 5, temp 13. Total 1080.83 miles.

Monday 19th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 25.52 miles, av 14.3, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 47mins, cool, cloudy, windy. Total 1106.35 miles.

Friday 23rd May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 18.51 miles, av 14, max 28 mph, 1hr 19mins, warm, dusk, dry, temp 18, wind 14. Total 1124.86 miles.

Tuesday 27th May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RPx2, Lee, 30.01 miles, av 12.9, max 27.1 mph, 2hrs 19mins, humid, dusk, mild. Total 1154.87 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1124.86 miles.

"Maggot Vending Machine"

I am just a machine that needs feeding, and my waste becomes bitter at times!


I wrote this back in Feb/March 2007. Not sure what I was thinking really. I never posted it because I thought it might come across a little nasty. It just came out one afternoon. I certainly don't feel like this now as I have moved on from feeling that way. Ok, some things still remain in my head. Although, unfortunately I don't think it would take much for me to feel that way again. There are certain things in place right now that weren't there before. I kind of have those now to prevent me from getting all dark.

Anyway, I had this feeling that I wanted, needed to post this now, otherwise I may never post it. And besides, I need it out there. I need to share this. I want rid of it!!!

Maybe letting you see it will help me get it out of my head. Let go the part of me that thinks this way sometimes. Bad things that are inside me. Letting them go and letting you have a little and together maybe we can put it away...for good!

It is, I must warn you, rather quite nasty in places! But, surely, this kind of stuff is better out than in?

Enjoy:)


"Maggot Vending Machine"

I feel it, like everyone does. I feel it just as much as the next person.
Along it comes, tapping on the thin, fragile glass of my mind, starts to scratch when there is no answer, no reaction. I'm hiding see.
He mustn't be allowed to get away with this farce! We need to bring him down!
Just as he brings me down, to his level, he is one selfish man!
Relentless picking and fingering, trying to get in. They always get in on occasions.
Come along, try and make me feel like shit why don't you! Come on in and give it your best shot. I'm waiting for you.
Why don't you stay a while eh? Why don't you make me your home? Live inside of me?
What are you afraid of? Where do you go when you're not here inside of me?
Where have you been all this time, all my life, all our lives?
I'm not afraid of you! Not anymore! NOT ANY MORE!
Or are you already here, always having been here, waiting with your long, hole-ready fingers?
Pressing in...slowly does it. Easing in right up to the knuckle, like a grub, cosy in it's rotten, hollowed out branch. Eager to fill me up, over flow! Split me wide open for all to see!
Waiting just inside the fragile window of my mind all along. Watching for a gap, a small opening, the tiniest of slits.
Ready all along, to come scraping. Gathering up it's nourishment under the sharpest of nails.
I feel it going on, but I just try and ignore it. Years of practice or years of ignorance?
Years of blindness perhaps, years of total and utter disrespect for life, all life. My life!

I feel it, like I am now. I feel it, just as you are all doing so, right now.
Hiding as a single pathetic rain drop in the vast grey skies of our world, the littlest of ulcers underneath the bottom of my hot, wet, vein streaked, blood filled tongue.
The dullest throb of a toothache, the constant thrum of pain in any given joint, at any given time.
Popping pills left right and center, pushing fake blood into my arms, into my heart, into my soul.
I remember the good old days when it was all 'Real' blood and full of life and sustenance.
Brimming over with promises of running through tall blades of grass, jumping for joy with it all.
But it wasn't like that, not really was it! Just an old stained bucket of rusty coloured water mixed with other things...other not so nice things!
The blood from child killers, rapists and just good old fashioned murderers & maybe the odd thief too. After all, I do feel stolen at times, raped at others and often murdered! Murdered of my childhood, my innocence!
I couldn't care less these days, seriously. But what else did I manage to 'inherit' from these life giving angels?
I got worms moved in for one thing I reckon. Not in my arse, nor in the soil beneath my wreckage, but in my head, my brain.
Filling my skull with years of sweat & froth, from boring into the deepest, darkest abysses of my thoughts.
I can barely feel their squirming, their incestuous wriggling down deep to fall asleep.
Like one giant slushy orgy...warm, pleasant and forever appreciated.
But, do I realize what is happening? Can I feel a god damn thing? Fuck no!
These things are all part of my everyday existence and from these I have been rendered brain dead.
I can't think straight most of the time. I jump to conclusions. I don't listen. I can't think at all some of the time!
I am always right and I am never wrong. I don't care about you! I don't care about your neighbour!
I can barely find the cells anymore to care or think about myself! I'm on auto-pilot. I do what I do in order to out fucking live all of you! Every last one of you pathetic little cunts!!

Part of the truth of the matter is, I am nearly always wrong! My opinions are next to bloody useless!
I don't think before I speak and I never speak directly after a thought. And I almost always invariably speak far too soon, without even thinking! Mental I know! And makes no sense at all!
I seem to care nothing for the pain of others, do nothing to help others who might need it.
They can jolly well get on with it, just as I do! You'll get no help from me my friend! If you can't figure it out for yourself then you're dead already.
What a pathetic carry on, this acting, this front, this cover-up? Is this really me? I don't rightly know.
There isn't a hole shallow enough to keep me from falling into the bottom of.
Or is it just the rain. All rain is grey, no? Or is it just the dull pain of living. All pain is grey, yes?
Life is made of grey matter is it not? Look in between the colours and you will find several shades of grey.
I don't really know how I feel or where I am going. Where I may have just been, or what may be just around the corner. Just how long I have left, or even how long I have had already.
I just know that I do feel and that I am moving, to where, is anyones guess.
I just hope to goodness that it is in more or less the right direction. For otherwise I feel I may end up in the wrong place and forever regret not just living my life with the attitude of thinking Fuck it...just do it!

I feel lost sometimes.

I fear I am loosing something with everyday that I manage to stay alive.

Without certain anchors and beautiful deep sea oceans to drop them into...I'd be dead already!



Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"The Sea Above, The Eye Below"

See how everything looks Lovely? Especially you?




I fell into your eyes baby and what did I see?
You opened your eyes and dove with me
Came held your breath with me and saw
Us swim through the coral, baby, up onto the shore
Through heavens & hells
Baby, come swim with me
Through sunbeams & sea shells, baby
Through fishes and the endless sea
Come dive with me, baby,
Come swim through the wrecks
Come swim down with me, baby
Come swim to new depths
Come swim with me and play in the sand
Come dive with me baby and let's drown hand in hand




Jason


P.s. Ian Kevin Curtis - R.I.P.








(C) JPT 2008

"My Kayaking for April 2008"

All but gone! Kiss me baby!!



Just the three paddles during April. And all over, up, across at Ealing Pool. Ian keeps on at me to get a play boat, and Karol says I have 'Blue Balls'! Hey Karol, My blue balls are all yours dude:) He even tried some self defence techniques on me in the pool and almost broke my neck! I'm just happy to do hundreds of lengths up and down the pool, let Tara steal my goggles and splash her little brother;)
The weather was still pretty shit for outside paddling in April, not that that has stopped me before, but since that incident in the Mole back in March, I don't fancy the cold just yet. This month (May) is a blinder so far!! The temperature has rocketed and paddling in the Thames has become a pleasure again...despite all the midges!! But, you'll have to find out about that, the swan egg & other things next month.

Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of me kayaking (or anyone else for that matter) so you will have to make do with a pic of my left arm where I had a blood test to see what my HIV status was. They took my blood on April 8th and I was told that my HIV is still undetectable twenty days later on the 28th. Which means I am almost exactly the same as you...sort of;) Good huh!



Thursday 2nd April 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, was in a little pain tonight due to a sore wrist and neck!

Thursday 10th April 2008 @ 21:00. Ealing Pool, tested out my new underwater video camera...it was shit!,

Thursday 17th April 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, Daisy came tonight, Eoin helped her to roll a kayak.




Jason

Happy Birthday to Shelley for the 9th:) xxx








(C) JPT 2008