"Too Deep Even to Breathe"

The all inviting surface...just waiting to be ripped open and entered!

Firstly peeps...you may have noticed that my Rough Ride post (just below this one) may have done a runner or was not showing photos for a while. This wasn't anything to do with me and I have been having problems with this post for a few days now...first the photos disappeared and then I couldn't re-publish the post with new photos and then I couldn't even delete it and start it all over again. Then it wouldn't even let me post a new post (the dream about drowning post) I'm not sure what I did just now but the dream post is there now and the Rough Ride post is back after I removed all the photos...seems they didn't like my ugly mush;) Bloody Blogger.com are a right pain in the arse sometimes! I'll try and sort it out and get the Rough Ride photos back on there somehow...even if it's just the one photo.........ok...on with the show....

This dream is from the 9th May 2007...

Ok! Let's get this over with! Another drowning! Are my dreams trying to tell me something? I must admit that either burning alive or drowning would be two of my most horrible ways to die...Dying of a blood borne infection being at the very top! Maybe I will drown one day...who knows? I mean it isn't out of the question is it, considering all the kayaking I do. No bouyancy aid...more often than not all alone! And it's true that I don't fear capsizing and getting wet. I make sure that I don't fall in because of the germs in the water mainly.
So why all these dreams where I drown? This latest dream has me going down far to deep in this very deep pool...I know I have gone too far the moment I jump in! Two others have decided to jump in at the same time and I am furious! I wanted to be alone...just me! Or am I missing the point altogether?

Drowning is nice...

I walk over to the edge and take a good look at my surroundings. Some sort of sandstone canyon thousands of miles away from where I live. I'm looking out, along with several strange people, probably locals out for a swim, from a kind of a natural cave entrance eroded into the side of the sandstone overlooking the canyon and the water. I look up and see a slit of sky between the steep canyon walls where the clouds are moving by quite fast...they are low and menacing, the air is warm & humid, and where I am there is no wind. The water is still and very deep. The walls of the canyon disappear down into the water and fade into a wonderful deep green. I walk back a few yards to my holdall and put my car key & mobile phone inside and lay my towel across the top so know one can see them.
All I have on is a pair of thin linen trousers and nothing else. They are turquiose in colour. My friend Lee is standing there also. He has my camera and I am hoping he will get a good photo of me jumping into the water. I look over into his direction to see if he is ready...He is. The other people just seem to be standing around admiring the canyon. I take several steps back...enough for a run up of sorts and prepare myself for my jump.
Running as fast as I can, I reach the very edge of the sandstone before it falls 90 degrees and drops about 6ft in to the water and I launch myself into the air with all my might! Just as I leave the ground I notice a very tanned slim boy & girl wearing skin coloured swim suits running towards the edge. I can't believe what I am seeing! I am quite angry! I did so want to be the only one jumping right now! I was higher than them and it looked as though I might even land on them as we all hit the waters surface together! Bloody typical!
We are! We're going to collide in the water! Land right on them both and kill them! Break my legs and smash my nuts in on their broken bones! I need to get higher in the air and further away from the edge! I try...I can feel myself stretching out as if reaching for the sky and I am higher and further than the two swimmers. In fact I am so high that I have butterflies in my tummy and now I am beginning to experience a little vertigo! The water below me is clear of people now and I feel my body momentarily come to a stop as gravity takes over again and sends me down to the deep green water pooled between the giant V shape canyon walls. The sound of wind passing by my ears becomes deafening as my body builds up more and more speed as I plummet to the water.
I make myself into a pencil shape...bringing my arms in tight by my side like a soldier, my legs together as if bound with rope and look staright ahead as I prepare myself for a very fast entrance!
I enter the water at top speed...the soles of my feet sting and instantly I am surrounded by billions of tiny bubbles. I can see just fine and the water is freezing cold! I instinctively find myself kicking my legs and waving my arms to try and slow myself down as I quickly sink away from the surface. As the last of the bubbles float to meet their maker, I can just make out Lee standing on the sandstone ledge, pointing my camera directly at me. His long figure waves as the disturbed water begins to flatten out once more. I think to myself that he must have got a really good photo. The boy & girl are dragging themselves out of the water and up out into the air. Then before I know it I am quite deep and still going down! I realise very quickly that I am far too deep to surface again without needing more air! I don't panic and resign myself to drowning. I decide to blow all the remaining air out from my lungs to see just how deep I can go. The water becomes all the more cold and I notice little pockets of a clearish kind of algae below me...then by my side...then above me. Up above the colour is the same as looking down below. Green and murky! Darker & colder than I have felt in a long time! I have no air left and need to breathe!



Jason







(C) JPT 2007.........1706.85 miles.