Rough Ride 2007

Me & Lee during Rough Ride 2007 on Sunday

So how did our first ever Rough Ride go?

Our first ever mountain biking event ever to be more precise. The ride took place in a little village called Kington on the Welsh borders...not too far from Kidderminster. A ride with about 1000 other riders all there for the same reason...A great Love for cycling. As I say, it was the first time that Lee or I had ever entered into something like this...Oh...Lee did enter some BMX races back in the early eighties but nothing since & nothing on mountain bikes.
We took it in turns to drive down there on the Saturday in Lee's van which was rather exciting because I don't often get to drive anything bigger than my little car. We had prepared for the ride for a few months before (I even went as far to get meself a brand new bike) and although Lee hadn't done as much cycling as he would have liked (he's doing his & my twin Sisters new house up don't you know), he was well prepared mentally as you will find out. We got our spot in the camping ground and them promptly moved to another spot nearby that looked like a better spot. We pitched out tents amidst more and more riders turning up to find their spots and relaxed for the evening with a great view of Kington church across the otherside of the field & some very hot chips and a giant sausage from the local chippy along with a tin of cold ravioli (I prefer it cold sometimes) and sat and watched some of the other campers make their way to the local pub. As we thought about the ride to come and spoke of how pleasant it was to be out camping we supped hot chocklick that Lee made (I drank mine from me cereal bowl as I didn't have a cup...talk about being prepared)...and nibbled on shortbread. All very cosy and relaxing indeed. The weather was on our side and the prospect of sleeping inside what is technically a large fabric igloo shaped kite was rather quite appealing. We each had our own tents...Lee's being ever so slightly larger than mine as he reaches a good 6ft 5ins in length, which he quite fittingly named 'The Palace'. He didn't want my farts and I didn't want his! Palace or no palace...farts would have been......er...farted!
So off to bed with dreams of mice nibbling their way in through the thin fabric of my tent and smothering me to death with tiny little mousey kisses, I slept like a burnt log that had fallen off it's fire and comfortably rolled into a sleeping bag:) Very cosy and I could quite happily sleep in a tent for the rest of my life...mice et al:)

Next morning...day of the race. Will it be the short route or the long...35k or 78k...3000ft of climbing or 7000ft? Still hadn't decided...only thing that hadn't been decided. We would see how we felt when we reached the split. First breakfast and an attempt at a dump! Great brekkie of four Weetabix...half a tiny box of raisins and a banana...but no dump! We took down our tents and packed them away ready for the drive home after the ride. We were almost ready now but first the little matter of what we had to take with us...each!...3ltrs of drink each and energy bars and bananas...helmets, cycling glasses, cycling gloves, puncture repair kits, mobile phones, cameras, waterproofs, money, tripod (which I didn't use) 2000 units of Factor VIII (which I did), a ham sarnie I knocked up with just fifteen minutes to go before our start time at 10am Sunday morning, medic-alert bracelet, watch, trip computer, various tools, spare innertube, map of both routes, micro-chip for registering our times.........oh, and a rucksack to put it all in! We made our way excitedly to the start...the local schools playground and soon found ourselves in the middle of hundreds of other mountain bikers! A few photos & a siren blast (at 10am) later and we were off...cycling over the continuosly bleeping electronic mat as each of our micro-chips registered the exact time that we began.

The next 48 miles were quite something I can tell you. It is the longest ride off-road I have ever done in one go and with the best scenery too...but it wasn't the hardest ride I've done. That would have been the 4hrs I did in the heat of last summer in Swinely Forest when Lee's boss split his head open where Lee & I chased an ambulance around all afternoon trying to find them their bleeding casualty!
It was tough though but very easy on my arms which was good. Rolling hills and through deep, years old worn Land Rover tracks in which getting stuck in one for a mile here and a mile there was quite taxing at times and my pedals would often clip the edges and throw you right off balance with a jolt that shot right through my knackered ankles...I named getting caught in these ruts 'The Death Star Trench Effect"...I imagined my front tyre was an X-Wing fighter looking for the small thermal exhaust port in which to shoot my proton torpedoes...I never found the port but my pedals did manage to take out a fair few trench mounted turbolaser batteries! Sheep mown grass was also on offer for much of the ride and a tiny bit of road to join one part of the countryside with the next, and an area in the middle of nowhere that was strewn with various sheep body parts... picked clean down to the bone and bleached white by various animals and all of the elements...oh...and plenty of sheep shit too! Not to mention two race photographers that I saw who were way out in the middle of nowhere...snapping away at us as we rocketed past...waiting right until the last second before WHAM! Flash blindness! I hope his lens was a wide one otherwise all he's going to have gotten is a photo of the skin cells & specks of sheep do-do on the end of my nose. Another photographer had precariously positioned himself halfway down a particularly steep downhill section that was made up of awkward ridges, loose dirt, loads of dust, stones and gravel! I must admit he was in a great place to get a good photo of riders falling off. No one fell off whilst I was descending it but a woman (the same woman who yelled at me from behind if I was going to take the left or right side of the track...I shouted 'I'm in the middle thanks") did fall off right at the bottom when another (male) rider swerved to avoid cycling over and into an embankment of sorts that would have almost certainly had him off! Everyone was alright & they apologized to each other and carried on their merry little ways. Anyway...the photographer saw this woman & I descend together with her just behind me and I thought oh a photographer...I hope I look alright;) And then just as I reached him he totally ignored me and shot the woman (blonde hair and covered in pretty pink & black lycra I might add) instead! I should have waited until I was on me own. I even thought about going back to the top and riding down again to get meself a better photo...but it was quite steep and there were loads of riders bombing it down and I am pretty sure that I would have caused a major pile up...with me finding myself right at the bottom of it! I might be in her shot I suppose...In fact I just looked and found the photo in question and yes I am in it...Just! It has my better arm in it too which is nice:) I bought the photo anyway...and why not?

Yes...even dead sheep Love to lie in the grass.

So...2hrs and 30 minutes after we started we reached the point where the route splits into the short & long routes. And where you can rest, fill your camelbak hydration systems and water bottles back up with water. We noticed most riders were making for the short route and this and the weather (which was perfect) are what almost definitely made up my mind for me...I was going to take the long route! All I had to do now was convince Lee, who wasn't too keen on the idea, to come along with me and take the pain that it would entail. I let him think about it for a few mins and then said lets go...and we did:) We were both decided now and there was absolutely no turning back. That first climb from the split off point was a right bastard! There were quite a few bastard climbs on the longer part of the ride and I reckon that I cycled up almost all of them...passing other riders who would say 'Well done you' as I very slowly pedalled by. I must admit that my forte does seem to be climbing very steep and long uphills. It felt very good making my way past what looked to be very fit men & women who were either pushing thier bikes or cycling slower than I up the hills.

Lee did remarkably well too...despite a rather bad bout of cramps in his leg! He hadn't been able to cycle nowhere near as much as he'd liked leading up to the ride and he still climbed the hills and kept a very good pace indeed. We had light rain for about an hour and cross winds to go with it...I felt my left arm going numb in the cold wind. Then out of nowhere we found & stopped at the halfway point and had ourselves a bacon bap each (in which I shoved a squidge of ketchup & a teaspoonful of what looked like hotdog mustard...it was not! It was English mustard and almost blew the back of my head out! For an hour or so after that I had the most awful feeling in my throat and stomach!), bananas and flapjack all provided by the race organizers...oh and more water if needed. I had me bastard bap and a banana and then filled my veins with 2000 units of Factor VIII in front of a whole bunch of cyclists some of which were looking quite unsure as to what was actually taking place on my grassy little piece of some farmhouse courtyard...I think I mean courtyard? The bit of stoney/grassy area just outside the farmhouse that is also surrounded by all the outbuildings and stuff. The yard had a pretty stream running right through the middle of it and was a superb location to sit, rest, eat and shoot up. I did get funny looks but know one approached me to see just what I was injecting into my arm. The same thing happened with my 'personalized' number plate...A few people saw that I had added some lettering around the edge regarding my health status but didn't mention it (see photo). Wouldn't have bothered me in the least.

Halfway then and another very steep hill that even I had to jump off up and push Elvis a little! Beautiful scenery all throughout this whole ride certainly helped with our progress and the fact that there were hundreds of other riders also gave us much needed adrenalin boosts as did the sweet sounds of all the thousands of dickie birds that were playing kiss-chase in the bracken/heather/moorland grass...whatever it's bleeding called.
Pedal, pedal, pedal, pedal...drink...pedal, pedal, photo, pedal, pedal...drink...hill down, coast, hill up, pedal, flat, pedal, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, spit out sheep shit, pedal, breathe, drink, pedal, photo, pedal, up, down, flat, up, down.........so on and so forth!
Somewhere around the sheep graveyard (around 5/6hrs into the race) I seemed to go off on one and leave Lee behind as I just seemed to switch off and ploughed on until I was done at the finish line. At some points during my 2/3hrs alone I managed to fall off down a quite steep wet and very muddy slatey section. I was going too fast and took a dive over the handle bars right over onto my back until I ended up on my back facing the way that I wanted to go. It was a good fall, narrowly missing falling headfirst down into the bottom of a tiny rock strewn valley! Although I whacked my right ankle on my bike as I left it behind I knew instantly that I was fine and said so to the other riders who thought I'd gone and done meself in. Everybody who saw it were worried and were quick to make sure I was fine...thanks guys and gals:)
I patted myself on the back for having some F8 and after taking a photo of the track where it happened and my filthy bike, I got back on, my back completely covered in mud and cycled up yet more very steep lung & leg busting hills and some very painful (right arm) downhills! Around the 6/7hr section I had lost almost all the strength in my right arm and pulling my brake lever on the downs was excruciatingly painful! I kept seeing animal skulls dotted around the edge of the track and lost water bottles halway down some of the downhill sections presumably having fell out of their holders and not noticed by their riders. The same thing happened to Lee after about an hour or so from the start and he didn't realise until this kind cyclist approached Lee and duly handed him his water bottle. Oh...I must add at this juncture that Lee completed his long route on a hardtail...very impressive indeed. My arse, ankles and arms would have died the death of all mountain biker deaths had I been on my hardtail! Also I would like to say just how f*cking brilliant my new bike performed (17ins 2007 Kona King)! It was a pleasure to ride and at times felt as though I was floating on a cushion of liquid air. And performed especially well during one of the very long descents down the side of a particularly tall hill towards the later stages of the long route when I am almost certain I could smell burning metal! My front disc brake was so hot it may even have been glowing orange if only I had the time to look down at it! My brakes worked admirably during the whole of the race.........wonderful bike tiz Elvis:)

With about an hour to go and all alone I came across a couple of people on foot on a downhill section and on a right turn bend. When I reached them at some speed they called and waved to slow down as there had been a rider who had crashed just down the hill! I slowed down a little and cycled past the crash site and saw a cyclist lying on the grass surrounded by people who were dealing with him...I stopped a few hundred yards further on and stopped to see and take a pic and out from above the horizon came a helicopter to take him to hospital for a check-up...I have since learned that he was ok and although was left bruised & battered, the only thing that was broken was his helmet. It was a tough ride apparently. I heard more than one rider say on the way round that this was the toughest one so far...and best too!

The finish stretch from Gladestry (I Love the name of that village:) to Kington was pretty good...right up along the north edge of Hergest Ridge (Mike Oldfield fans ears prick up;) and into Kington along some quite nice and fast single track with a few very low tree branches to duck under...I thought of Lee and wished I had time to put a sign up reading "Lee...Mind your head". I even saw a discarded unzipped uneaten banana on the side of the track and almost stopped to eat it, but I knew it was only about three or four miles to go and carried on and finally down over & across the finish line to the sound of my micro-chip registering my finishing time. There were there absolutely no people there whatsoever! Just a single marshall sitting on a deckchair directing me to the camping ground to collect my t-shirt for finishing. I made my way to the campsite...ah...this is where everyone was! The grass was covered in knackered cyclists and mucky bikes! I got me t-shirt and waited 20 minutes for Lee to arrive. Bloody well done Lee! We shook hands in congratulation to each other and promptly exchanged our micro-chip for a well earned hot meal provided by Wilf's Cafe and scoffed the lot down still feeling very pleased with ourselves for completeing the long route:)

Me right after my 78km on Sunday

And here are our times for Rough Ride Sunday 3rd June 2007.........

Race# 121 Jason Paul Tolmie, Male, Team Funny Blood, Total Time 7hrs 39mins 1 sec, Split time 4hrs 6mins 29 secs, Route 78km.........according to my Cateye trip computer I was pedaling (wheels spinning) for a total of 6hrs. Not bad for a first timer eh:)

Race# 123 Lee Scott Richardson, Male, Team Funny Blood, Total Time 7hrs 59mins 47 secs, Split Time 4hrs 6mins 47 secs, Route 78Km

Before we knew it we were all packed away and driving back to London still not quite believing what we had just achieved! Lee let me drive us home and finally arrived back in Teddington around 23:00pm. I had an early start the next morning as I was due up at the next hearing of the public enquiry into contaminated blood in Westminster. I hurt the next day but can't wait for the next one:)

I also wanted to say a great big thank you to the race organizers who did a fantastic job of making everyone welcome and the amazing amount of marshalls en route who were all too pleased to help or point or just to smile & say hello:) The route was brilliantly marked out throughout too. Well done! Lee & I will definitely be back next year!!

Update; I went to the enquiry the very next day and met up with my friend Ros and her hubby Ade again and met her very Lovely Mum & Dad too. It was a tiring day and I was still aching very much from my ride. We couldn't hear most of what was said having sat right at the back of the conference room and will have to read what was said on-line. It wasn't a bad day as it goes, but it did have it's moment;)...but it was a good day nonetheless:)
Then yesterday I went for an hours kayak to blow out the cobwebs from inbetween me ears and did another 30 miles today (Wednesday) on Elvis still covered in mud and sheep shit and my Rough Ride number plate still attached. I'm bloody knackered again;)


Jason







(C) JPT 2007.........1660.42 miles