"The Yellow Cable"

Mind your feet!



"Quick!, get off the bus....I am dying for a wee!".

As much as I would Loved to have been the first into the public toilets in the bus terminal......I was not! Already there were queues, waiting impatiently by the only cubicles in the place.......two! With my hands all but cupping my groin I took a look over at the wall which catered for the "Piss-only" customers. Now let me tell you this, The "Standing Room Only" section normally doesn't get my attention even when I am desperate to empty the little sack'O'yella! It's not because I am embarrassed about the prospect of being watched by the other sprinklers or about the size of 'things to come'.......Fnar! Fnar! I just cannot physically manage to wee if there are already people standing there or even if I am at an empty wall knowing someone might walk in at any minute puts me off! I was more than desperate!
There were already two people that had taken to the last resort of the pissing wall and more people were still bounding in through the toilet door. I had to think quick.....Very quick! As I stood thinking about what to do, the cubicles queues had gotten even longer. I decided to head for the wall and at least take a space up before they all disappeared and I was left in the middle of the room pissing my pants!
So there I was about five men along and in a matter of only seconds the whole line was full. I was quite relieved, but not yet in the way that I most wanted. I had my space safe and all I had to do was introduce the little one down below to the thick stale air of the urinals! As I stood there touching elbows with the men on each side of me I tried my hardest to look straight ahead and concentrate on the job in hand.......so to speak;). The feeling to need to pee was still there. In fact the feeling had become incredible by now and I new I would be able to urinate if only I took the thing out! "Take it out already!" I said to myself. Maybe I am a little embarrassed then. "Know one is interested in you & your willie you silly boy!". It was true. All they are doing is trying to have a wee just as you are.......actually they had already begun as I could hear the numerous hissess of piss pouring into the filthy trough at the bottom of the wall. I was pretty sure that I could feel it splashing up onto my shoes and trouser legs. I tried not to imagine all the billions of piss particles floating in the air, invisibly sucked into my nostrils as I breathed in. It smelled pretty bad in there already and now with all this fresh piss it was becoming unbearable!
That was it, I was either going to wet myself right here in front of everyone or I was going to join the rest of them and turn on the "Yellow Cable". As I looked down to manage the task at hand (or should that be 'In hand'), I noticed that the gap between where my feet were at the very edge of the trough and the wall was about 4ft wide! It was like pissing into a small river and like a rivers edge it sloped down slighty towards the relentless yellow torrent. I felt a strong urge to hold onto the men on each side of me to keep my balance. I decided not too as the thought of maybe loosing my balance and pulling a whole line men all of whom were holding onto their pride & joy into the trough became all too much. I shook the thought out from my mind and decided I would have to try and lean on the wall opposite. It seemed as if I could reach it but what about getting back! And one handed too!
This was it.......I was beginning to urinate and once I started I just new that I would not be able to stop. Even just the thought of stopping once in full flow would put an end to the flow and I would not be able to start up again! It was now or never! I shuffled a little closer to the edge with the tip of my shoes overlapping the lip of the trough by about three inches. If I was going to need the far wall for balance, then I was going to have to be as close as possible to it. Ahhhh......That feels good!! There I was, feeling more releived than a hedghog that had just safely crossed the M25 during rush hour. I looked up towards the ceiling and felt my bladder getting more & more empty by the second....it felt wonderful!
But just as I was about halfway through, I looked back down.....too quickly! I felt myself lose my balance. For a split second a small but easily acheivable list of options sprang into view in front of my eyes. I quickly ruled out the first option which was to fall backwards. The last thing I wanted to do was to piss all over the backs of my fellow yellow cable layers, or god forbid grab one of them on top of me as I stumbled back! Option two was no option either, even more so than option one to be quite honest. This was to fall sideways and in doing so cause a human domino effect all down the line..........I felt a very strong urge to avoid this option at all costs for obvious reasons! So there was just the third and final option left. Option three was to fall forward and hoped to jehovah's wellington boots that I would be able to reach the wall on the other side. I started to fall forward and out went my free arm. I saw the slippery wall approaching fast and just then thought I'm not going to make this! I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
Slap!
There, I made it! I had reached the wall and didn't even slip. I couldn't care less that the wall was cold & wet or that it was filthy. All I cared about was that I wasn't flat on my face in a deep, hot, stinking river of piss.
As I continued to pass water......lots of it.......I took a look to my left.....men pissing.......to my right........pissing men! Everyone was pissing. Everything seemed fine until I realized just how far over I was leaning! And to make matters worse my grip on the wall was beginning to fail me! I needed to get into an upright position asap! With the recent hose pipe ban now lifted, my lower extremity super soaker wasn't going to stop for know one! I tried to right myself with just the one hand available but to no avail. I would need both hands if I was going to pull this little stunt off. I would just have to leave my little friend all on his oddy-nocky and hope that he finished up soon. It was out of my hands now;) My winkie & my hand bid their farewells to each other and with the unmistakable slapping sound of palm on piss soaked enamel, I found myself with two arms now planted on the wall opposite. From the side I must have resembeled some kind of human bridge with a leak. A bridge that was about to collapse and fall down!
I pushed! I pushed hard and new I only had one attempt at righting myself. With a quick look at all my current anchors....hands slipping, both of them....! Feet hanging over the edge of the trough....both of them....! Things didn't look too good to say the least! And then my biggest mistake, a quick glance at the seemingly bottomless trough of doom passing beneath me with the only thing missing being a group of minaiture piss Loving kayakers heading off for a touch of white water kayaking. The dark yellow flow from left to right and it's swelling & rising pissy frothy tide must have put me off because when I looked back up to the wall I lost my balance.......along with my footing and my hand on the whole situation literally grinding to a very wet & stinky halt right before my very eyes! I lost something else at that exact moment too......
My dignity!.....as I was forced to put my foot right into the hot foaming torrent! Accidentally spraying piss all over the place, on my trouser legs, my dry foot and the men standing next to me! It must have been all of about a foot deep! It was hot and made me want to puke! My shoe soon filled with the boiling rivers contents which made me squirm at the thought of all that piss in my shoe soaking into my skin! I had to give in as it was useless by now to try and stay out and reluctantly put my other foot in with a loud plop and splash. The heat of the piss made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, but at least I was upright and didn't have piss in my mouth, eyes & ears!
Foot deep in the trough, I slowly turned around to face the rest of the line who were all by now doing their best to burn tiny little holes into my already bright red face. I looked down to my feet. Gone were the kayakers.....gone was the bridge......gone were the white waters........All I saw were two feet.....my feet, in a gentlemens lavatory "Standing Only" piss trough absolutely fucking filled with the putrid stuff! A lone cigarette butt floated by as if to mock me.
I excepted my lot now and left my willie hanging out from his little denim window, dribbling his last breath and stepped out of the trough dragging up several large puddles of piss with me as my feet found the edge and the saftey of the toilet floor proper.........With eveyone watching me in disbelief as I splish splashed my way to the door and back to the bus...



Jason






(C) JPT 2007