A Profound Longing to Time Travel

The Summer of 1971.


This is the reason why, for me anyway, a time machine would be very much appreciated. This one single photo! The little girl is my eldest Sister Samantha and lying on the blanket are my twin Sister Nicola & I. I am on the left as you look at the photo. And the photo was taken (I just asked my Mum) in Marble Hill Park between the ice cream seller and the river Thames. My Mum says that my face is looking right towards the river. A family friend (Janet "Janet & Brian" Whiting) took the photo. It is quite painful to look at it. I haven't actually looked at it that often, not because I haven't had access to it, because I have. I just think that I have been avoiding it as it seems like it never happened. I often wish I could travel back into time and spy on myself & my family. I would probably be arrested if I did manage to go back to various times in the past. Watching children playing in the playground in Kneller Park (The Rec) down my Mums road. Watching her feed me my bottles and changing my shitty nappies. Listening to me cry out in pain as I was picked up and my Mum so worried as to why! I want to go back to that park when the playgrounds were dangerous and not so sterile and "Safe". Oh how I would Love to split my lip open on the solid steel head of the multi-coloured seated rocking horse........And get my leg caught under the narrow gap between the round-about and the dirty, lolly pop stick strewn, Coke can graveyard that was the ground beneath it. And to pleasantly kick little piles of dried, pure white dog shit around the playground would be wonderful.
My big Sis Manf (Samantha) has had the original of the photo above and my Mum had a copy made a few years ago which is hanging inside of her hallway, which I see every week. I have the original for a week so I can scan (which I did) and touch it up. As you can see, the photo really needed backing up. Here you see it in the original condition, before I have done anything to it. I scanned it 3 times with and without fading correction, reduce dust & scratches, backlight, grain correction etc. One of the scans already looks quite good and has really brought the colour back out. I will post it again when I am done.
It is only a polaroid and the fact it has lasted this long is utterly amazing! I am so glad to have it scanned now! It was so Lovely and also very sad to hold and feel the original.
Why? I will tell you. It is the only photograph of me (and my twin Nicola) as a baby (5 months old) and it was taken before I was diagnosed with Haemophilia and before I was given Hepatitis C and then later on HIV. Although it looks quite grotty and faded, cracked and torn........it means everything that is pure and innocent to me. Even my toy spaceship the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars that I still have was played with by an infected little boy. But please don't get me wrong, I Love all my 70's & early 80's Star Wars toys (most of which I still have) and will die with them by my side! They're just as important as everything like this that I still have. I don't hate anything at all "pre-shit happens", I just needed a little of something that was totally pure. I have it now. And I know that the original is safe and well. But I still feel some sadness if I let myself.
Hey! It's only a bloody photograph you twat!
I know, I know.........It is, but a million pounds is only a bloody million pounds!
You can keep the money!
So what I am going to do is try my best to touch it up on photoshop. I'm no expert on photoshop and touching up (I'll leave that to my Dad;) Although looking at it just now, seems like it will be a very dificult task to achieve! I can only do my best. When I have completed it, I shall show you all the difference that I have hopefully made.

Jason




(C) JPT 2006