40th Injection.......8 more left!

Colourful?........Undoubtedly! South Bank, last week.

After emptying exactly 40 syringes full of Interferon into my body I have only 8 left to go! If I had 1000 left to go I would still feel the same! I feel completely fine & perfectly comfortable with this toxic stuff inside of my body and will be slightly sad when I finish with my last one on the 18th of January just 5 days before my 36th Birthday. My body is used to such abuse, the kind of abuse that will ultimately save my life! From what though I often think! From less time alive on this tiny little planet of ours. So I can keep on abusing myself with poison in the hope I will be around to see........what exactly? I can imagine my family growing old........I have a very good imagination. I can even imagine them dying! I have even seen myself die, in a "clean" hospital bed surrounded by my family and friends, I am the exact same size as a 9 year old boy....just I can't move or talk and people are crying onto me, but I can't feel the tears that I see falling onto my skinny little boys arm....more needles.....more drugs! I don't want to die.......I haven't said goodbye yet!.............I can't say goodbye!!!
I too can imagine what the state of the planet will be in years to come.....do I really want to be part of that.....It seems I already am! I can't imagine myself, old and grey, naked looking in the mirror and thinking.......look at the state of you! What was the point in that? You look like a right mess! What were you thinking? But we all do it don't we? It just happens doesn't it? It's not like it happens over night is it? I mean if it did, we would die from shock with that first look in the mirror!
A few years ago, I was dead!........in my eye's anyway! I was a freak with bad blood and nobody would want to come anywhere near me! YOU ARE INFECTED!!! SO FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!!!
So I did.......and I am still here......infected albeit with one less infection. You just wait and see, as soon as I clear this HCV, another will come along anyway! I have been waiting for something else to come along since I was told I had yet another virus! vCJD perhaps?............It's out there and I have had letters from Haemophilia experts that it is out there......."It" has my name on it! Then what about Cancer? Any form of cancer will do I suppose. One that takes a while to kill you would be fine. I do ever so much want to live up to my name after all......"The Mighty C".
I feel like the mouse in "The Green Mile" who just won't die! For just now I am doing my bit to get rid of Hep C, but what after? I will still have HIV and possibilities of more viruses in the future, I will be fighting this viral death for all of the rest of my life...........When does one become too tired to carry on? Just for how much longer will I be able to go out for a bike ride or walk even? If I didn't have these things.......I would be dead already! I imagine I will be able to deal with this for sometime yet as I am just so used to it already.
Get a job you lazy Cunt!
This is my Fucking job! And I'm not lazy!
Ok, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..............! What about a hobby or something?
This is my hobby!
Then I don't really know how I am going to help you?
I didn't ask for any.............I don't need any either! Thanks.
Right......ok, just so long as you know, thats cool.
I'm cool!

Isn't this post verging rather on the dark side? I'd say that you can't get anymore colourful!

Jason