Being replaced

York House Gdns, Twickenham

Do you ever get that feeling that the only reason that you are here at all, is just so you can be replaced by a better, far superior model? One that isn't rotten or infected! And the sooner, the better me thinks!
In the photo of the statues, is one helping the other up, or is one being lowered down by the other? Either way could be for good or bad reasons! I was watching a man cutting back a gigantic tree outside of my flat. I was thinking the same thing. Is the tree being helped or damaged. The tree looked fine before, thick strong branches with plenty of leaves, all attached to a wide, accommodating trunk. And now it looks like a sheared sheep! I feel similar about myself sometimes. I feel as though the world would be a better place if the likes of me were "gone". Well, i must say, whoever those "people" are, they're not doing a very good job! I mean this year is my HIV's 21st Birthday. My Hep C's 30th. Celebrations all round me thinks:) I am serious too! I quite often feel like running around the streets and shouting at the top of my voice exactly what i have and for how long and say, look at me and look how healthy i am. Look what i can do!
They say life ain't easy! At the age of 16 i was told only of death! Death ain't easy either! But it's all i know! I want to live forever (or die trying), just so i can say "You can't replace me, there isn't anything wrong with me. And besides, i am too old".

Jason