"My Cycling for July 2008"

Phil & I near Holmbury St Mary, Surrey, 13th July.


Well, as you learned in my last cycling post, I came down with the lurgee which lasted most of the second half of July but that didn't stop me from getting out there on my bike with a bit of a chest infection! I even think it helps to clear it if you can get out and work those lungs a bit. So thats what I did. And besides, I was positively going mad having not ridden my bike for a total of 10 days in a row!!!

The rest of July saw me out a few more times between going to a music festival and school reunion with an old friend:) It seemed to take me ages to recover fully and get back into the swing of things where cycling was concerned. I even managed to dent my frame (Elvis) when I nearly came a cropper down a particularly technical rooty section of single track in Swinley Forest. I was momentarily distracted for a split second and almost went over the handlebars, but instead managed to step off to the side as there was a steep bank there, but unfortunately it was covered in roots that my bike fell on. The dent is only small and won't effect the strength of the tube, which is good:)

As I write this (sort of mid August) the weather has been alright I suppose, so far. I should have been taking part in a sponsored bike ride in aid of the Haemophilia Society but have thought long and hard about it and decided to knock it on the head. Mainly because my right knee hasn't been feeling quite right the last month or so and the mileage involved and the unpredictability of the terrain I thought it better to not take any unnecessary risks! I'll talk more about the sponsored ride in next months post, by which time Matthew Moulding (ride organizer & lead rider) will have finished his amazing 1200 mile off-road adventure.

Congratulations to Phil by the way for doing his bit (the first week) in a midgey infested Scottish Highlands! I saw the evidence just last Sunday when we rode Holmbury & Leith Hills together. His legs are absolutely covered in midgey bites still!!!!

See you all next time:)


Tuesday 1st July 2008 @ 16:00pm, RP, 16.54 miles, av 14.3, max 28.5 mph, 1h 9mins, during my ride I came across a mountain bike lying on the road in Kingston by the bridge and a skip lorry, all of which was cordoned off by police tape and being photographed by police photographers! There had been an accident where the cyclist was knocked off by the lorry and the bike was bent like a banana! Apparently, it wasn't all that serious. I found the incident in the local paper the following week and the cyclist escaped with only a minor leg injury!! Lucky fucker or what!!! Temp 27. Total 1373.68 miles.

Friday 4th July 2008 @ 17:00pm, SF, Lee Ian, 16.84 miles, av 9.3, max 21.3 mph, 1hr 39mins, dry, warm, temp 19. Total 1390.52 miles.

Tuesday 8th July 2008 @ 18:00pm, 12.85 miles, RP, av 13.9, max 26.1 mph, 55mins, mild, windy. Total 1403.37 miles.

Sunday 13th July 2008 @ 13:00pm, HH, LH, Phil, 21.10 miles, av 8, max 38.8 mph, 2hrs 37mins, warm, sunny. Right knee didn't quite feel right! Developed a rotten cold & chest infection the next day! Total 1424.47 miles.

Thursday 24th July 2008 @ 14:00pm, Jac, RP, 21.26 miles, av 11.5, max 27.4 mph, 1hr 51mins, temp 28, wind 11, very hot, still had cold & cough and knee playing up (right)! Good to get out though! Total 1445.73 miles.

Sunday 27th July 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, HH, PH, 11.82 miles, av 7.9, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 29mins, very warm, temp 25 (30 during the day), right knee hurt again! Total 1457.55 miles.

Tuesday 29th July 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, SF, 14.39 miles, av 8.4, max 21 mph, 1hr 42 mins, warm, right knee hurt after 10 miles, used lights for the first time since winter. Total 1471.94 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1471.94 miles (to end of July)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part one)

Come, child. Come sit on my knee!



"Part One"

What's it going to be then, eh?

They were the words that were left floating around my empty mind!

I can't decide, I thought to myself. You decide for gods sake, decide!, I said out loud.

Well, I know this bloke who owns this WWII torpedo boat. He lives with another man down by the marina next to Radnor Gdns and he says I can come round and see it anytime I want, he's well generous and said he might even take me up the river in it.

What, near where the old bags play bowls?

Yeah, thats the place, You wanna go?

Fuck Yeah!

Well that was enough for me! We were halfway through our Summer school holidays and bored shitless. I had know idea how Neil new this man with the torpedo boat, but how on earth could I turn down an offer such as this. I couldn't wait to see it. It certainly beat setting fire to railway embankments and spying on homeless weirdos who live in secret tunnels under the roads of Twickenham. Not to mention the hours wasted talking about American custom cars, reading BMX magazines, talking about kissing girls, tits and wanking.

I found out the owner of the torpedo boat was called Rob and he was a bus driver. He always wore his grey uniform. The man that lived with him, I didn't know his name, was never there when Rob was in. Just Rob and his Dalmatian dog, who was as deaf as a post.
The first time I saw that boat I was speechless! It was immaculate! The brass that covered the boats wonderfully preserved surfaces, inside and out, were always polished and although it didn't have any torpedoes anymore, it did have a history in that it used to ferry supplies over to the French coast for the men fighting in the Second World War. I have always Loved battleship grey. It reminds me of the ocean. I could only stand in wonderment as to the sorts of magnificent ships that this tiny little boat had chugged between. The sun was high in the sky and made a b-line straight for the shimmering brass fixtures & fittings.

I was very young at the time, maybe about 9 or so. Neil was a year older than I, but much more mature and unlike me, he could already produce something called Spunk from his penis. He once showed me a polaroid of his Mums boyfriend. He had an erection in it! I never looked at the man in the same way again! I was quite jealous that Neil was able to do this kind of stuff. He also showed me what this spunk looked like once whilst he was showing me his penis. He had an erection, bigger it seemed than mine would ever be, and pulled his foreskin back, something else I couldn't do! He pointed to this tiny amount of white stuff that resembled cotton fluff around the edge of what he called his German helmet. I was amazed at what I saw and wondered when I would see some of my very own. Much later on, about three or four years, I came to realize that it was in fact cotton fluff from his pants that he was showing me and not spunk at all! Real spunk was, still is a wonderful substance that if it were humanly possible one would continuously spray it over anything and everything, including oneself! I never saw my German helmet until I was circumcised some 20 years later! I wasn't allowed one because of my bleeding disorder! Of all the many trips to hospital over the years, I often found myself wondering if my foreskin would ever grace the inside of one of those 'Hospital Waste! For Incineration Only' skips outside the back of the hospital. And then, when I finally did have it cut away, I imagined what a thousand foreskins might look like all in a single pile, with mine flopped on the top like someones discarded chewing gum.

Thats all we did back in those days. Talked about erections, spunk, cocks, girls and wanking and listening on his record player to the sounds of drag cars screeching their way up the rubber scorched, twin black strips of Santa Pod's 1/4 mile stretch on a flimsy 7" record that he'd gotten free with an old copy of Custom Car magazine.
But a trip to see Neil's new friend Rob and his amazing torpedo boat seemed like a wonderful idea. Something different. Something to boast about when we eventually went back to school later on that year.


To be continued...



Jason

P.s. Happy Birthday to my best mate Lee tomorrow:)








(C) JPT 2008.........

"Demolished Are The Stars"

And we all fall in!


The center of it all, the darkness where I fall,
See how the core is built.
The mantle is where I sleep away, where morning doesn't call,
See how the crust is built.
The oceans boil for me to see, the light that says no to me,
See how the Earth is built.
The air that rushes in, to push out any breath so thin,
See how the sky is built.
The darkness comes flooding back, theres nothing there, just black,
No one is building stars anymore!




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for June 2008"

Hiding from the ghouls & ghosts of Friday The Thirteenth!



Is it or is it not that our summer this year is already over and done with? If it is over, then June seemed to be it! July has been average weather wise. Nothing like what we all expected thats for sure! There have been a few good days so far in July, but not as many as June had. The singletrack trails up in The Surrey Hills have never been so dry and fast since the end of last summer! Oh well, maybe the end of July will incinerate us all and laugh in our scabby, sizzling sunburnt faces whilst brightly shouting "You couldn't bloody wait, could you!" & "Here, have some fucking sunshine, enough to last you a lifetime!".

Plus, July (so far) seems to be the month of germs and colds, with everyone passing their beloved lurgee onto the person next to them etc etc. It's my turn at the moment, and everyone that I know too has had it already! I may very well be the last to get it out of everyone, so, does this mean that I am the strongest or does it mean that I am the best at hiding from the dreaded lurgee? Either way, I have it now...who wants it after me? Anyone? Anyone?






Sunday 1st June 2008 @ 16:00pm, RPx2, 24.03miles, av 13.6, max 29.1mph, 1hr 46mins, warm , no wind, temp 21, wind 6. Total 1178.90 miles.

Thursday 5th June 2008 @ 13:00pm, RPx2, 25.62 miles, av 12.8, max 29 mph, 2hrs, hot, temp 21, wind 3. Total 1204.52 miles.

Friday 6th June 2008 @ 17:00pm, Lee, Matt, HH, PH, HH, 13.02miles, av 7.8, max 24.8 mph, 1hr 40mins, temp 18, wind 4. Total 1217.54 miles.

Sunday 8th June 2008 @ 13:00pm, Lee, Phil, HH, LH, HH, 20.74miles, av 8.3, max 33.2 mph, 2hrs 29mins, hot, sunny, temp 25, wind 9. Total 1238.28 miles.

Friday 13th June @ 19:00pm, Lee, Mike, Ian, Matt, HH, PH, HH, 14.52 miles, av 7.5, max 27.7 mph, 1hr 56mins, mild, temp 17. Total 1252.80 miles.

Sunday 15th June @ 13:00pm, Marble Hill Park & RP, 15.29 miles, av 12.9, max 28.1 mph, 1hr 11mins, warm, windy, temp 18, wind 10. Total 1268.09 miles.

Monday 16th June 2008 @ 19:00pm, Swinley Forest, Lee, Ian, 17.18miles, av 8.1, max 29.4 mph, 2hrs 7mins, mild, tiny bit of rain, very good ride, mostly new trails (yellow brick rd), temp 17, right arm sore! Total 1285.27 miles.

Sunday 22nd June 2008 @ 13:00pm, Phil, HH, PH, LH, 21.68 miles, av 8.1, max 27.9 mph, 2hrs 40mins, temp 21, sunny, windy, Phil new red pedals. Total 1306.95 miles.

Thursday 26th June 2008 @ 15:00pm, RP, 23.51miles, av 14.2, max 26.5 mph, 1hr 39mins, sunny, windy, warm, new road tyres on Dessert Storm, very fast! Total 1330.46 miles.

Saturday 28th June 2008 @ 15:00pm onwards, Bon Jovi concert at Twick Rugby Ground & Mums, 10.49 miles, av 13.6, max 23.9 mph, 46mins, warm, windy, Dessert Storm. Total 1340.95 miles.

Sunday 29th June 2008 @ 19:45pm, Lee, 16.19 miles, SF, av 8.2, max 19.8 mph, 1hr 58mins, warm & dry. Total 1357.14 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........Total 1340.95 miles (up to June 28th)

"The Ninth Breath"

A bleeding moon in a blackened night sky that even death cannot escape!



It was the Ninth breath breathing I hear,
The ninth night goes on and on, the night of the tear,
Hiding behind smoked, dark glassy eyes,
Crashing through zebras as this time of day dies,
No one can see, but the blood, it is falling,
The damage is done, the distance is calling,
Deadly quiet, loud torment,
Isn't crying hell sent,
Crying is beautiful, crying is sad,
There's no end to this agony, no smile to be had,
One hundred miles to our open wound,
Stitches wide to swallow the moon,
I try to bring you back in my night time,
You find your way back to me, I miss you, what a crime,
Still breathing the ninth, my baby is here,
I can feel her crying, she's so near,
How is it done, she's so far away,
In exactly the same place, she saves me another day,
Almost over, this place thats so right,
Back home to my dreaming place, saved for the night.



Jason







(C) JPT 2008

"He Buzzes like a Fridge"

Mister Yorke doing everything but disappearing completely in a park in London last Wednesday.


The big black cat pushed home
holding half her bloody wardrobe
proceeded to stick it in his aching back
and to all his fellow humans
he said "don't even fucking go there!"
I stood with whom I liked, see
she looked me up and down
but I threw her with my eyes!

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

I stood in the middle
and shuffled round in the heat
they were cheering and waving
pointing and smoking and drinking
singing and dancing like with drunken Meerkats
but it got heated, fucked up
colourful, squashed up
used as a stepping stone to York
buried in a burning back in London

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

Don’t know why I walked away to find the back of the queue!

My reason was safe and a little needed
I stretched and I hobbled like with those drunken Meerkats
you should put me in a hole or you should put me up a tree
I got drunk
We got drunk, see

No one Loves a retarded arse but we all Love our rock & roll stars
this wasn't her infection, I did it for me
I must have got it from years of being
strangled, beaten up and drowned in the sea
I got drunk
We got drunk, You & Me

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!




Jason


P.s. Happy Birthday to Manf tomorrow:)xxx








(C) JPT 2008

"Freeze Dried Vagina's"

What do I use to eat it? An old fashioned spoon or just my tongue?


Written on April 3rd 2007 (Sexually explicit)


"Freeze Dried Vagina's"


The low hum of the refrigerator was strangely soothing to me as I stood in front of the giant luminous monstrosity. The kind you might find at the back of a small high street newsagents or petrol station, where the ready made sandwiches, chilled drinks & pork pies are normally found. My feet were pointing directly towards the fridge, which was of the open kind that didn't have any doors, and from my peripheral vision, I could see that the rest of the room, wether selling petrol or not, was in total darkness. From a distance it must have looked as if I was walking straight into the pearly gates of heaven. A silhouetted figure surrounded by a bright light of unimaginable pleasures. They wouldn't be too far off the mark either, as on the very top shelf, inside this giant glowing cool box, just a little higher than my eye line, were a small line of what at first glance looked like pots of yoghurt, all different kinds of fruits & flavours in varying degrees of bright fluorescent colours. They certainly stood out from the rest of the boring, drab looking and totally unappetizing range of products elsewhere inside the fridge. I was intrigued and wanted to get a little closer. I shuffled forwards a little until my toes bumped into the metal strip that surrounded the base of the fridge. As my toes made contact with the metal, the hum that had been steadily thrumming from the machine changed tone and became quieter. My hands were in their pockets, fingering the loose change that had accumulated there over the last few days. As my eyes began to focus on the pots, I was amazed and more than a little excited as to what I thought I could see!
For there before me, in amongst everything else, were a line of clear plastic pots each sealed with a thin tin foil lid. In each of the pots contained a perfectly clear jelly like substance. And in each of which suspended a perfectly sized and perfectly detailed human vagina. Each one slightly different to the one next to it, and each one neatly trimmed or completely hairless. Some were completely naked and others were covered with a tiny strip of brightly coloured fabric that resembled part of a panty. These jelly suspended freeze dried vagina's looked so delicate and perfect in every way. Their pink skin tones varied from pot to pot as my eyes scanned the line. One was rather quite pale and completely shaved, another seemed to be slightly tanned and had a small amount of pubic hair. Some were very little and others showing absolutely everything, with nothing at all left to the imagination. Whichever one I decided to look at, I just could not decide which one that I wanted. If indeed I should take one at all!





Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for May 2008"

Who's a silly boy eh?



What's this? Another boring "My Cycling" post? You guessed it. As you can see, I cycled about a bit in Richmond Park (where invisible non-bike users keep moving small to medium sized logs around the trail just to piss off the mountain bikers!)...now, if they really want us to stop riding there, they should either set up little land mines everywhere that are only activated when there is a mountain bike in close proximity, or place large to massive sized logs in the way that can't be moved! Silly non-bike people! When will they learn eh?
And also, I have been cycling about a bit up in the Surrey Hills too. Leith, Holmbury & Pitch to be exact. Even here (where all the hills were built especially for us mountain bikers...& horses of course:) have there small to medium sized log placeage problems! There are some non-bike users up there who (when us mountain bikers are at school;) cut down the trees in the woods that our single track winds through and leave all the rubbish bits behind all over the track!! The other day we were there, we couldn't even see where the trail went!! Whats going on? And, the woods smell of diesel oil that has been leaking from the monstrous machines that the non-bike user people use to chop down their precious trees! Could this be the beginning of the end for mountain biking up in the Surrey Hills? At least we didn't come across any dangerous land mines!! I've already had two punctures in a week!!

See you next month my non-walking, non-log putting, non-diesel dripping people...& horses of course:)


Friday 2nd May 2008 @ 19:00, RPx2, Ian, Mike, 30.51 miles, av 11.8, max 28.2 mph, 2hrs 34mins, dry, cool, dusk then dark, spotted one badger, Temp 10, wind 5. Total 1001.95 miles.

Sunday 4th May 2008 @ 20:10, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.08 miles, av 7.6, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 26mins, very warm, dry with a bit of rain, dark, temp 18, wind 6. Total 1013.03 miles.

Tuesday 6th May 2008 @ 20:10, SF, Lee, James, Paul, Stef, 9.68 miles, av 7.5, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 17mins, very warm and dry, cut my left shin, temp 17. Total 1022.71 miles.

Friday 9th May 2008 @ 20:09, Lee, HH, PH, LL. 11.32 miles, av 7.9, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 26mins, temp 17, wind 3. Total 1034.03 miles.

Sunday 11th May 2008 @ 13:00, RP, BP, 20.46 miles, av 13.1, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 33mins, very hot and quite breezy, It was Horse Chestnut Parade in BP this afternoon, so I stopped by there during my ride and lay in the sun with my niece Daisy and my Mum, then Tarn, Naif & Millie came along too, my ankles were very painful and hurt like hell all night!!! Temp 26, wind 13. Total 1054.49 miles.

Tuesday 13th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RP, 14.39 miles, av 14.3, max 30 mph, 1hr, sunny & warm. Total 1068.88 miles.

Friday 16th May 2008 @ 20:00pm, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.95 miles, av 8.3, max 28.8 mph, 1hr 26mins, cool, dry, wind 5, temp 13. Total 1080.83 miles.

Monday 19th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 25.52 miles, av 14.3, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 47mins, cool, cloudy, windy. Total 1106.35 miles.

Friday 23rd May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 18.51 miles, av 14, max 28 mph, 1hr 19mins, warm, dusk, dry, temp 18, wind 14. Total 1124.86 miles.

Tuesday 27th May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RPx2, Lee, 30.01 miles, av 12.9, max 27.1 mph, 2hrs 19mins, humid, dusk, mild. Total 1154.87 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1124.86 miles.

"Maggot Vending Machine"

I am just a machine that needs feeding, and my waste becomes bitter at times!


I wrote this back in Feb/March 2007. Not sure what I was thinking really. I never posted it because I thought it might come across a little nasty. It just came out one afternoon. I certainly don't feel like this now as I have moved on from feeling that way. Ok, some things still remain in my head. Although, unfortunately I don't think it would take much for me to feel that way again. There are certain things in place right now that weren't there before. I kind of have those now to prevent me from getting all dark.

Anyway, I had this feeling that I wanted, needed to post this now, otherwise I may never post it. And besides, I need it out there. I need to share this. I want rid of it!!!

Maybe letting you see it will help me get it out of my head. Let go the part of me that thinks this way sometimes. Bad things that are inside me. Letting them go and letting you have a little and together maybe we can put it away...for good!

It is, I must warn you, rather quite nasty in places! But, surely, this kind of stuff is better out than in?

Enjoy:)


"Maggot Vending Machine"

I feel it, like everyone does. I feel it just as much as the next person.
Along it comes, tapping on the thin, fragile glass of my mind, starts to scratch when there is no answer, no reaction. I'm hiding see.
He mustn't be allowed to get away with this farce! We need to bring him down!
Just as he brings me down, to his level, he is one selfish man!
Relentless picking and fingering, trying to get in. They always get in on occasions.
Come along, try and make me feel like shit why don't you! Come on in and give it your best shot. I'm waiting for you.
Why don't you stay a while eh? Why don't you make me your home? Live inside of me?
What are you afraid of? Where do you go when you're not here inside of me?
Where have you been all this time, all my life, all our lives?
I'm not afraid of you! Not anymore! NOT ANY MORE!
Or are you already here, always having been here, waiting with your long, hole-ready fingers?
Pressing in...slowly does it. Easing in right up to the knuckle, like a grub, cosy in it's rotten, hollowed out branch. Eager to fill me up, over flow! Split me wide open for all to see!
Waiting just inside the fragile window of my mind all along. Watching for a gap, a small opening, the tiniest of slits.
Ready all along, to come scraping. Gathering up it's nourishment under the sharpest of nails.
I feel it going on, but I just try and ignore it. Years of practice or years of ignorance?
Years of blindness perhaps, years of total and utter disrespect for life, all life. My life!

I feel it, like I am now. I feel it, just as you are all doing so, right now.
Hiding as a single pathetic rain drop in the vast grey skies of our world, the littlest of ulcers underneath the bottom of my hot, wet, vein streaked, blood filled tongue.
The dullest throb of a toothache, the constant thrum of pain in any given joint, at any given time.
Popping pills left right and center, pushing fake blood into my arms, into my heart, into my soul.
I remember the good old days when it was all 'Real' blood and full of life and sustenance.
Brimming over with promises of running through tall blades of grass, jumping for joy with it all.
But it wasn't like that, not really was it! Just an old stained bucket of rusty coloured water mixed with other things...other not so nice things!
The blood from child killers, rapists and just good old fashioned murderers & maybe the odd thief too. After all, I do feel stolen at times, raped at others and often murdered! Murdered of my childhood, my innocence!
I couldn't care less these days, seriously. But what else did I manage to 'inherit' from these life giving angels?
I got worms moved in for one thing I reckon. Not in my arse, nor in the soil beneath my wreckage, but in my head, my brain.
Filling my skull with years of sweat & froth, from boring into the deepest, darkest abysses of my thoughts.
I can barely feel their squirming, their incestuous wriggling down deep to fall asleep.
Like one giant slushy orgy...warm, pleasant and forever appreciated.
But, do I realize what is happening? Can I feel a god damn thing? Fuck no!
These things are all part of my everyday existence and from these I have been rendered brain dead.
I can't think straight most of the time. I jump to conclusions. I don't listen. I can't think at all some of the time!
I am always right and I am never wrong. I don't care about you! I don't care about your neighbour!
I can barely find the cells anymore to care or think about myself! I'm on auto-pilot. I do what I do in order to out fucking live all of you! Every last one of you pathetic little cunts!!

Part of the truth of the matter is, I am nearly always wrong! My opinions are next to bloody useless!
I don't think before I speak and I never speak directly after a thought. And I almost always invariably speak far too soon, without even thinking! Mental I know! And makes no sense at all!
I seem to care nothing for the pain of others, do nothing to help others who might need it.
They can jolly well get on with it, just as I do! You'll get no help from me my friend! If you can't figure it out for yourself then you're dead already.
What a pathetic carry on, this acting, this front, this cover-up? Is this really me? I don't rightly know.
There isn't a hole shallow enough to keep me from falling into the bottom of.
Or is it just the rain. All rain is grey, no? Or is it just the dull pain of living. All pain is grey, yes?
Life is made of grey matter is it not? Look in between the colours and you will find several shades of grey.
I don't really know how I feel or where I am going. Where I may have just been, or what may be just around the corner. Just how long I have left, or even how long I have had already.
I just know that I do feel and that I am moving, to where, is anyones guess.
I just hope to goodness that it is in more or less the right direction. For otherwise I feel I may end up in the wrong place and forever regret not just living my life with the attitude of thinking Fuck it...just do it!

I feel lost sometimes.

I fear I am loosing something with everyday that I manage to stay alive.

Without certain anchors and beautiful deep sea oceans to drop them into...I'd be dead already!



Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........