"Comfortably, I Died"

Goodnight sweet prince.


When you say it's going to hurt, it doesn't, it just feels normal, but it still kills me. And, then I feel the pain.
And when you say it's going to be nice, it isn't, it just feels like death, but I won't die.
And, then I died. I died in a field surrounded by so much space. I felt so bloody greedy. But, I didn't care much as I was quite comfortable sitting in my car. My arms hurt but I didn't look down to see why because I knew they were smashed right up. My nose hurt too, but the rear view mirror was smashed. Out of the corner of my one working blood soaked eye I noticed such a wonderful sunset. It was blinding. I closed my eye and waited for the blood to dry it shut for good as I saw and felt the sun disappear for the very last time through my heavy eyelid. I may have been crying. Who knows? I felt like I was crying inside. Like when your dreams are so vivid and when you cry in your sleep you're really genuinely crying but when you wake up there are no tears. Your pillow is dry and your face kind of looks normal as you stare into the bathroom mirror. The cold tap running slightly. You can't hear the water pour because you made yourself deaf several hours earlier so you could listen to your heart beating and your lungs breathe in and out.
Now, as I sit dying in my wrecked car all I can think of is going to sleep. My feet feel wet, but warm. No pain. Just a gentle ticking sound of the cooling engine as my heart makes its final beats. I was on my way home, but it seems as if I am already there.



Jason








(C) JPT 2009