My Kayaking for April 2007...

Jae by Durdle Dor...April 2007.


What'd I tell you...a few more paddles this month...including a long over due paddle along the coast by Lulworth Cove & Durdle Dor. Great stuff:) See photo.


Wednesday 12th April 2007 @ 17:00pm ish for 1hr 7 mins, River Thames, St Mary's Church, Twickenham to Teddington Lock & back, Dagger RPM, temp 17, wind 5.

Sunday 15th April 2007 @ 11:35am for 4hrs 23 mins (with 1hr 10 mins for lunch halfway on our own private beach), 8 miles, Lulworth Cove heading West, Dagger Edisto...with Lee, temp 23, wind 6 (see photos dated today).

Tuesady 17th April 2007 @ 15:30 for 1hr 8 mins, River Thames at low tide, St Mary's Church, Twickenham to Teddington Lock @ back, Orange Peel (RPM), temp 17, wind 9.

Thursday 19th April 2007 double bill...1st @ 13:00pm for 1hr 4 mins, Twickenham St Mary's Church to Teddington Lock & back, sunny & warm, light breeze, temp 18, wind 10, in "Orange Peel".........2nd @ 21:00pm for 1hr 30 mins at Ealing swimming pool with Daisy & Lee.

Sunday 22nd April 2007 @ 18:00pm, River Thames from Twick to Richmond Lock & back, 1hr 17 mins, sunny and warm, slight breeze, temp 20, wind 11, in Orange Peel. As I carried my kayak back to the car past a man, he said that I was carrying a giant goldfish;)

Tuesday 24th April 2007 @ 19:00pm, River Thames from Twick to Richmond Lock & back, I found 5 tennis balls, warm and calm, light breeze, 1hr 20 mins, Orange Peel.

Thursday 26th April 2007 @ 21:00pm in Ealing swimming pool, Daisy, Ian came along to, Dasiy performed a rescue on me and she also capsized herself on purpose...I righted her instantly. She was very nevous about going over, but she took her time and did it very well:)


Jason





(C) JPT 2007

"The Drowning Girl"

Twickenham Riverside Jan 07.


This vision before me? No surely not! There was no doubt that it looked like one, but no! Not here...by the water, in all this unpredictable storm! Besides, didn't butterflies come out only when the light shone from the beating suns burning rays? It was dusk here...it would be dark soon. I stood, feet firmly planted to the wet steel floor of the barge, rising and then dipping tremendously as the swell in the dark blue sea made it's presence known! I was forced to hold onto the side of the barge for balance as the water threatened to spill over as the giant steel vessel tipped!
The crystal clarity, The bottomless supply of freezing cold water and the light, flourescent glow of the ever closing figure made the surrounding torrent look all the more menacing! The closer to me that this watery apparition became, the quicker I began to realise that it wasn't a butterfly at all, but a woman! A woman floating serenely on top of some kind of boat...a kayak. But not like any kayak that I had ever seen! It seemed to grow out from the soft white skin of her naked waist & cover her legs with a thin, almost transparent covering of the most delicate of materials. She was beautiful and the glow of her strange boat shone up to her neck and face which made her shine like an aquatic angel against the darkening sky of the failing dusk.
As I bobbed up and down with the barge, I watched in amazement as she skimmed across the water and to the side of the barge. Her serious but fragile looking face was looking down and ahead but her eyes looked right up at me. Her hands weren't like normal hands! Instead, growing our from each tiny wrist were a sort of paddle, made from the very same material as was the boat wrapped around the bottom half of her body. They moved like the wings of a Dragonfly...one after the other...after the other...after the other...her torso facing forward as was her head. Strong shoulders powering her right by the side of the barge. Her slender arms glistened as they dripped with sea water having been sprayed up by her paddling.
Just as she came into line with me, she leant forward a little and made the sharp pointed nose of her boat cut into the swirling dark blue sea. Within seconds the whole boat was under, with her torso following suit. The waves making her change shape as she was magnified and made smaller all at the same time. She span & turned & twisted and rolled...Her display mirrored the performance of a strange, lone synchronized swimmer. She looked up at me between each move, to see if I was watching her. I never took my eyes off her...not even for one second! She performed for me...danced as if the world was about to end!
I leant all the more closer to the waters surface to see her better. I was transfixed! My eyes began to sting a little and dry out from not wanting to blink in case I missed something. But just at that moment, as she was slowly passing beneath me, I saw her eyes begin to close, her mouth open wide and she sneezed under the water! She instantly began to choke on the cold salty water...her eyes reopening...staring at me as if to yell for help! She had stopped paddling and slowly began to fall away, down into the deep of the ocean!
Both my arms instinctively reached out from the side of the barge and plunged into the water, where I managed to grab hold of her face before she disappeared completely from the surface. Cupped inside my hands, I gently pulled her back to the surface of the restless water and leant over even more, until my chin was almost dipping into the sea's thin skin. As her face broke the waters surface, I bent my arms and brought her up close...noses almost touching...Her long golden hair running in lines down her neck & blending back into the water. Her skin was very pale...her lips had turned a lightish blue colour. Her eyes open now and her blue lips parted slightly, she said 'I sneezed!.'
'I know', I said to her.
She brought her hands from under the water, which were now the tiniest, most delicate looking hands I had ever seen! She cupped my whole face in them & pulled me up close so our noses finally touched. I could feel her freezing cold finger tips gently holding my face, the water tickled as it dribbled down the skin of my cheeks. I looked right into her watery eyes...they reminded me of the water that I had pulled her from...deep blue and rather quite stormy looking. Back went her head now...her mouth opening as wide as her jaw would let it. I could see right down into her throat and deep into her nostrils. I looked to see if they were clear and free to take in air...they were!
She looked back into my eyes and mouthed the words...'Thank you'.



Jason







(C) JPT 2007.........1240.21 miles

"Dear Deirdre"

These granite walls gave birth...


And there she was...all those years ago, sitting at the bottom of those grand stairs spiraling down from the higher floors of the great big granite mansion that is situated on the wind swept & soggy coast of Anglesey in North Wales. Right at the bottom, in the corner, almost facing the large front doors was young Deirdre, the only girl around for a thousand miles, sitting very comfortably in a rather large looking leather armchair right below the bannisters of the staircase. Her denim clad legs were folded up underneath her bottom, her shoes placed neatly side by side just at the base of the chair, and from the warm glow eminating from the table lamp next to her armchair, she was able to immerse herself in one of the greatest inventions of all! A book! Her book! I watched her reading it, wondering what it was that she seemed to find so captivating. She certainly looked as if she was enjoying it....her mind was totally focused on the contents of the book and I could almost make out the text printed inside reflecting from the polished surface of her glasses. I think maybe the book could have been some kind of adventure story...a journey....somewhere cold, dangerous and far away...somewhere where one might need a lot of luck and patience to survive it. Deirdre was certainly ready for such a journey! Keeping her warm was a thick wooly jumper, her long golden hair bellowing up from it's high neck as a result of not untucking her hair from inside the jumper. The extra comfort made from this one single act meant she could stay there for as long as needed.
But just as I was watching her turn from one golden page to the next, I noticed some boys standing directly above where Deirdre was sitting. They were sniggering and pointing at her as if to make fun! One of the boys prodded his friend and whispered 'Hey, watch this!'
He grabbed hold of the bannister and made to lean as far out from the edge as possible, looking down towards Deirdre, and by looking at his face, I could tell that he was filling his mouth up with saliva!
I looked back down at Deirdre....still reading her book, completely unaware of what was about to happen! I didn't move to stop it, nor did I say anything, as it was all over in a matter of seconds! The frothy white globule of spit fell right onto Deirdre's head and settled in the golden locks of her hair. At first she looked as if she hadn't felt it land...but from the salty mouths of young boys also come childish giggles and idiotic noisey smirks. Deridre heard the boys and looked up to see them quickly hide their snigger induced red blotchy faces & instinctively put her tiny hand up to her head to see what had happened. She must have felt a dry patch, because she looked back into the pages of her book to find where she had left the story. But her face had changed a little and I thought I could see, I wasn't entirely sure, but some kind of...hurt seeping from her eyes. Just a little! My heart took a little dive into the bottom of my stomach and all I could do was feel something very special for this innocent young girl!
I wasn't going to stand for this kind of behaviour and walked briskly up the stairs & up to the boys where I proceeded to demand an explanation for their lurid behaviour....specifically the one who did the spitting! A few other boys came over to our small jostling group and seemed to side with me and between us duly lifted the poor boy up off of the floor and proceeded to dangle him right over the edge of the bannister!
Apparently, after what must've been no more than 20 seconds...but to him, it must have seemed a lot longer... he said that he fancied Deirdre and by spitting onto her head from the stairs was his way of trying to tell her so.
I fancied her too, but didn't do anything as I...well...basically wasn't sure what to do. So I left it at that and instead, when I got home, I sent her a photo of myself sitting on a bus! But it was too late...things had already started to change!
One thing I will be forever grateful for though...is that I didn't think of spitting on her...not for one moment!

That was around twenty years ago...& I still see her the same way today! You see, I saw her again the other week....Easter Sunday to be precise...the day of ressurection...ironic! She had found my Blog one day back in Feb and recognized me. And didn't even see the part where I had mentioned her! Fate perhaps? She & I had not seen each other for almost twenty years since the week of the spitting incident and nor did we hear from each other for almost the same amount of time! We kept in touch for a very little while once we were back home and once our adventure was over, but even that seemed to die and well, before I knew it I was a different person and my blood was not quite right...maybe this or maybe something else had something to do with it....maybe neither...but one thing is for sure...I have never forgotten that girl, buried in her book, nor the twin boys from Dunstable who I met on another week in that very same house over looking Puffin Island...I was very impressed at them for their wicked sense of mishief that followed them around the entire week and the fact that one of them showed me and some of the other boys his willy in our dorm...just like that...and there I was, secretly astonished that he had a full bush of pubic hair where I only had soft fuzzies! These were real boys, like the Liverpudlian who lost his snazzy digital watch while we cliff traversed somewhere along the Welsh coast, and the highly inteligent chubby blonde boy who was adamant that he was related to Marilyn Monroe because he had the same surname as her. It wasn't even spelt the same way.
But good things...wonderful things...come to those who wait and aren't expecting anything. I had even gone so far as to write her off as dead & buried! Not only Deirdre, but all the other boys that I met in that big stone mansion near the mountains! That big stone house is from a time when I still felt like an innocent boy...I was sixteen at the time I think, but hell, I ain't never gonna grow up...no matter how much they try to make me! And those that I met in that big stone house will be, from those days to the moment that I stop breathing, be forever etched into my wilting mind!



Jason






(C) JPT 2007.........1192.86 miles.

"Elvis & The Giant Banana"

Flying over Lulworth way...

As activity levels go on a weekend in mid April...this one was pretty good! A nice weekend quite honestly...weather wise it was the dogs bollocks! Summer most certainly seems to have arrived early...as have the butterflies! They are everywhere I go it seems! Very unusual for me, but quite welcome! Soaking up this very sunny feeling...flitting across my sky like some kind of perfect weightless fly-by!
Great for cycling...kayaking...thinking...& feeling good!
Friday evening was spent riding my brand new bike "Elvis" along side my friend Lee. We started out in the last of the days sun and ended 27 miles later in the dark streets of Teddington & Strawberry Hill. Just local...local bats...local midges...local ducks and a local and rather dippy hedgehog. No...not really...as I did have my light trained on the poor buggers eyes...like tiny black pin heads. The black moist bubble for a nose sniffing his way through the stinging nettles. Nice to have a back garden as big as Bushy Park!
My! That Elvis is fast! Lighter & faster! He is already beginning to feel like part of me. Covered in a fine dust from the bone dry trails of Pitch Hill, Bushy & Richmond Parks, he does a great job of showing me who is The King (Kona).
Then onto Saturday morning. An early (for me) start of 09:45 to go meet WarriorWoman (http://www.warriorwomen.co.uk/2007/04/14/bptt-update-for-14th-april/) after her 5km run around Bushy Park and then take a ride from there along the Thames tow-path all the way to Richmond Park. See her Blog to see a photo of us, Elvis & The Stumpmeister (WW's bike). The lap of RP mostly consisted of clinging as close as possible to the outside perimeter wall route (& totally out of bounds for cyclists apparently), staying away from the Tamsin Trail (designated cycling/walking route) for a much more fun lap with small sections of single track, plenty of roots, dips and rapidly appearing trees! There are even three very narrow, small bridge type things (with no sides) to cross. I think I may have shot off away from my cycling buddy for the day more than once as a result of the orange & white thoroughbred that I was still getting to know...sorry WW;)
All in all, there are far less dogs, small children & their competitive Dads to crash into by taking this route and it also makes the lap slightly longer too....which is good. And it leaves the flat gravel track (with a few steepish hills thrown in for good measure) to the plentiful runners. But that didn't stop one running man...more of a human Gazelle...keeping up with us on the off-road sections and even passing us up the hills! What ever he was, he wasn't human...His pace never changed and he looked as if he was hardly breaking sweat! Amazing! The sun was out for the day again and followed us everywhere. It was very warm and there was hardly a breeze. Another 30.50 miles and alone now, more butterflies on my way home from Sheen Gate, I was done for the day and needed to rest my poor arm for the next days kayaking trip to Lulworth Cove.

Another...even earlier start, almost directly after a very Lovely dream (which I am writing as we speak...from notes I made right after waking) about a beautiful female kayakist...and I was already standing out in the sun by 08:55am to greet Lee and load the car up with two ginormous plastic (recyclable) kayaks and all the kit & kaboodle one (two) needs for an eight mile paddle along the South coast.
Lulworth Cove to be precise. I truly don't beleive that the weather could've been any better! The temperature was perfect as were the wind conditions...even in the lower South area on my very person turned out to be a relatively wind free zone;) After a two hour drive with Lee eating far too many Opal Fruits...(Oops! Starburst now right;)...and at serious risk from drowing in his own spit and developing the greatest bellyache of them all, we were by the sea and unloading the boats. Christ! The boats and all our gear in them are sooo heavy! Good job the walk to the beach was only a few yards!
The water where we were going to launch looked perfect...a quick look out to the mouth of the Cove looked to be perfect also..in the past, the exit from the Cove has been very choppy and dangerous for kayaks...but today...
A quick paddle around the almost circular shaped cove...with the bottom cut off...a smallish Royal Naval, battleship grey ship was anchored right in the middle. On the front deck was a very fit looking man in combat trousers, missing his top, lifting a very heavy set of weights. I noticed the red flags were flying around the cove which meant no turning left and heading East! Otherwise one will get shouted at from a rather serious looking man hidden in the cliff face as they did on other attempts of ours to do just that. On occasions, you can even hear machine gun fire and cannon blasts as the hidden men in green shoot their loads (ahem) into the sea! So West we head towards Durdle Dor and beyond...the water clear and of a pale greeny/blue colour. Calm & not very much wind at all was the order of the day...with plenty of early (very) summer sun. The tide was down at it's lowest and the bottom of the cliffs were stained black from millions of years of being submerged twice a day by the sea and all it's miniscule inhabitants.
Stroke after stroke after stroke...a slight head wind...so slight, so as not to hamper our forward motion. The light breeze whispering past our ears...the current dragging us slowly but surely out to sea. A little more pressure on the left hand stroke every several drags through the water sorted out our intended trajectory. Coming back will be the opposite arm and push us inland and would test my right elbow, but at least I had a fix of Factor VIII in the back of the boat...& lunch & towel & trainers & phone (no signal), two cameras, plenty of drink, dry clothes, swimming goggles (too cold for that)...no wonder they were so heavy lifting them down to the sea!
Stair Hole, a small hole through the cliffs leading onto a rather rocky beach was our first port of call for a photo oppotunity, but the tide was so low & the swell was rising & lowering about three or four feet with every wave. It would have ripped a hole in the bottom of our boats if we had gone in! We would try again on our way back when the tide would hopefully be higher.
Off again...the warm sun resting pleasantly on out backs. Past Dungy Head and into St Oswalds Bay where at the farthest end is a beach sheltered by jagged rocks called The Man O' War Bay and just around the corner is the giant and very impressive Durdle Dor. This giant natural limestone arch was also a little out of bounds seeing the tide was so low! So back to the monotonous act of paddling towards our very own private beach. The beach was just out of sight and just around the corner from the chalk headland that is Bat's Head. Here is a single small stack of isolated chalk undoubtedly left behind as a result of a giant arch eroding away to to leave this decayed but still gleaming tooth. Right next to this, tucked right under the headland itself is a narrow tunnel that leads right through to the other side and our beach. As with the other arches enroute so far, the tide was too low to attempt. We'd try this on our way back later in the afternoon.
Just as we rounded Bat's Head we saw a couple of kayakists heading right for our beach! Granted, the beach is about half a mile long, but we wanted one all to ourselves. So on we continued to do just that. When I say private beach, what I mean is that it can only be accessed either by boat or falling onto it from the shear chalk cliffs above! We had boats so suicide wasn't even considered;)
Infact, after just another half mile or so we saw it. Another stretch...much smaller than our original beach and better by a long shot. We were hungry and before beaching, we took a quick look around the corner of White Nothe headland to see what was there...not a lot...more cliffs and brilliant white, boulder strewn beaches...but what really put us off lunching there was that there were people there. So back we went and beached for lunch & a well deserved injection of Factor VIII. The giant banana and Lee's kayak lay out like a couple brightly coloured sharks beached on the shingle. Towels down for a lie down...didn't lie down...after sandwiches we went and explored the chalk rocks and boulders (see photo). It was like being a child again. I wanted to throw stones into the sea...I tried and it hurt! I swapped arms and tried left handed...absolutely useless!
Sat down and stuck a needle in my vein instead and wondered what the scene would look like if a freak passer by were to witness such a shooting. But that wasn't about to happen, as we were literally secluded. I wanted to stay there all night! I checked my mobile...no signal...The butterflies had flown away with it and dumped it into the ocean...I just wanted to say hi. Lee & I tidied up and filled the boats with all our stuff for our trip back to Lulworth. The journey back was warmer as the very faint headwind west, was now blowing alongside us and towards the East. Quiet...except for the gulls screaming high in the cliffs and the odd jet ski & boat engine thundering by in the distance. The paddle back seemed to feel slower, but looking over to the cliffs, I could see we were moving at quite a reasonable speed. The tide was still very low, but besides Durdle Dor (which still looked too dangerous to try), we managed to kayak right through the tunnel (blown through more like) that cut through Bat's Head. The clear water surronding the entrance & exit to the tunnel was filled with a seaweed that resmebled thick long strands of a greeny coloured bowl of noodles. I wondered what on earth might be lurking down there, feeding on it! The swell was still upping & downing, exposing the small but not very kayak friendly rocks with every few seconds. The hull of my boat caught on one slightly, but was pushed back up by the return of the next swell.
Back through the Man O' War Bay and onwards to Stair Hole. With the water level still being quite low & quite rough as the sea poured into and then out of the smallish arch we were only able to go in and get out without taking a photo from the inside. It was great fun though, but had to have our wits about us the whole time or we would have been thrown up & dumped onto the rocks!
So that was it...just a short paddle back into Lulworth Cove, minding the rocks on either side of the narrow entrance and after three hours of paddling & eight miles of coast done we were back on the beach and loading the car up for the three hour drive back home to West London.
Next stop Llanberis, North Wales for a tad of reminiscing. That is where butterflies are born don't you know;)


Jason






(C) JPT 2007.........1018.64 miles.

"The World's Smallest Dog Whistle"

Hand & Egg courtesy of Deirdre.


Whats that pigeon doing up there perched above that doorway? It was peering out from a kind of small opening not to dissimilar from a mouse's hole in the skirting board of a Tom & Jerry cartoon. There seems to be a man watching between it and the line of people walking underneath the doorway as if waiting for something. The line I was in was moving slowly towards the bird, which gave me time to use my confused mind to think what the man might be waiting for! Can you teach a bird to poo on someone? That would be interesting wouldn't it? And what better place to perch your bird than just above a doorway? I looked at the man's hands to see if he had some sort of clicker or was making signals with his fingers that the bird would see as a que to start dropping the warmish grey/white substance contained inside it's little bottom. But he wasn't....nor did he have a special clicker. He wasn't blinking funny to the bird nor whistling. So what was he doing? I was nearly there now and was eager for something to happen before I passed underneath, never to see the man & his bird ever again.
I was right there now....right below the hole and the bird. 'Come on then! Do something, this is driving me crazy!' I said to myself. Then I noticed something else just inside the birds little doorway. It looked like an egg....sort of speckeled and very fragile looking. It seemed to be moving as if something was living inside. It must be the birds egg and her baby. Then all of a sudden the egg began to move, slowly rolling forward as if being nudged from behind, right to the edge of the opening....past the bird it went and rolled right over the lip of the hole and plunged to the floor! My heart began to pound as fast as a pedigree race horses at the end of the final furlong and my belly felt as if it were full of the worlds entire stock of butterflies! I had to catch this egg or the babies inside would smash to pieces when it reached the rock solid ground! My arms instinctively rose from my sides and reached up into the air ready to catch the precious egg! My surroundings....the doorway...the man....the rest of the people in the line disappeared from my peripheral vision and all I saw was the egg falling.....which seemed to last as long as an entire length of an episode of "The A Team", before it finally dropped into my warm, shaking, clammy palms!
I felt ecstatic with my grand performance and gently clutched the egg to my hard beating chest to protect it from any damage. As I stared at this delicate little shell of life, the rest of my surroundings began to fade back into view. The line of people that I was part of only moments earlier began to surround me and before I knew it I was trapped in a small circle of eager eyed people! I felt trapped and needed to get away! Then the egg began to rattle & gently vibrate...probably triggered by the fall and the heat coming from my hands...and small cracks started to appear all over the eggs speckeled surface! The egg split into two as a whole bunch of sweaty looking tiny yellow & white baby chicks began to ooze from the two cracked halves. My small trembling hands could hardly contain them all and I was afraid of dropping one! Everyone around me were talking and pointing and getting far too close for comfort. I tried to move away, cradling the babies in my arms as they tried to clamber up the sides of my scooped hands to escape and a few of them fell out of my grip and dropped to the floor, each with a tiny thud! The other people quickly scooped them up and disappeared like thieves into the night. The shell....once the safest place in these little creatures lives...dropped to the floor also, which helped me handle the tiny balls of rapidly drying out yellow & white fluff all the better.
Then as I was trying to stay apart from the others, I heard someone calling urgently from behind me to stop! I quickly came to a halt and this woman soon caught up with me and breathlessly said that I needed the egg shell for the babies to eat or they would die of starvation! It was just me, the woman and the babies now......safely re-united with their shell.....all the other people had gone, no doubt chasing after the other people that stole the fallen babies.
The woman stood directly before me, almost touching toes with me & carefully placed the broken shell into the middle of the wriggling babies and they soon stopped trying to escape and instead began to eat the shell and all it's thin white membrane. The babies were fully dried out now and already looked to have doubled in size. It was silent now, all apart from the mildly excited sound of the woman & I breathing and just then at that moment I thought I could hear the babies tweeting. It was very very quiet and I had to put my ear right over the small pile of babies & my shaking cupped hands to hear them properly....and indeed it was the babies making the sound. It was almost inaudible, as if each and every one of the feeding babies had the worlds smallest dog whistle inserted into their tiny throats.



Jason


P.s. Happy Birthday Tarn...for the 10th:)






(C) JPT 2007.........1033.67 miles.

I Wish I Could Say...

Hidden enough?


Was it all the excitement from having ordered my new bike just moments before I took to the hills the reason that I couldn't ride right yesterday afternoon?, which led to my bike ride being of a somewhat dizzy affair? I am excited about the new addition to my wheeled a loo minum collection let me tell you. But so much so that it made me look like a complete retard during my afternoons scramble around the three hills? I just could not keep the bike where I wanted it! I must have put my stupid skinny feet down loads of times! It was driving me bonkers that's for sure. It certainly wasn't the weather, as it was gorgeous and mostly bone dry terrain.....hardly any wet patches at all;) I cut my right shin on something....probably my pedal? Nothing new there then! Those things have teeth!
Steep hills that I have had no problems with before, were a right pain in the sacks! I even dropped my camera trying to take a photo of my bloody shin.....mental or what. I really did feel like I wasn't in control. I am surprised that I didn't fall off more! Could my totally unpredictable meandering be anything to do with my stoopid ankles? Afterall, I was a little worried the night before from all the pain spewing forth from them! But even they ended up feeling good by yesterday lunchtime. I can't always lay the blame onto the pain in my bones can I?
Indeed, my right elbow was hurting as usual, but no more than normal. It did however, towards the end of my three & a half hour ride, begin to really get on my tits! Dare I say that I even began to feel sorry for myself? There were points, mainly during steepish decents, where all I could do was screw my right hand up in a ball and rest it on my handle bar grip and just let it kind of lean there.....I couldn't even pull the front break lever without grimacing in pain! Ok! So maybe my bones are responsible for my ditzy performance! But what can I do? I wish there was a magic wand that I could tap my joints gently with and make them all strong and pain-free. I know exactly what my joint specialists would tell me......'There ain't no magic wand buddy, so stop riding the way you do and it won't hurt!'
Good idea right? But what would I do without my cycling? Anyway, it used to hurt as much when I wasn't cycling several years ago. So up yours dude!
If only the pain wasn't there! I don't care that it looks so weak....I don't care what other people think when they see it compared to my other arm! Sooo weak! The sneezing cow who's eyes nearly popped out of her head & all her black & white friends managed to take my mind off the discomfort a little.....as did the numerous Pheasants lurking about in the woods. They do make me laugh:) Very colourful, but more than just a little dopey;) One of them tried to run away from me (why run when you can fly?) and ran like a bird possessed down the narrow track that I was on. He soon saw the error of his way and decided to take a quick detour back into the shrubbery;)
Bumble bees like miniature yellow & black balls of floating fluff, bunnie rabbits and there little white arses bouncing up and down as they too run away from the most harmless boy on the planet, squirrels looking for thier wonderfully buried nuts, a fox who remembered his green cross code, a wild Deer (that looked more like a Gazzelle) sprinting through the trees, and even a little Robin got her bright red tits out just for me & made me feel a little better about the silly way I was obviously feeling.
So what was it that really made me feel this way? Maybe it was the pain?.....Dessert storm being mean to me because she knows that she will be spending more time in the garage soon?.....Were my tyres pumped up too hard?....Was my stem done up too tightly?.....Life in general?.....or maybe it's because I am a Londoner? Could it be that my helmet was on too tight? It could I suppose have had someting to do with my belly ache I had all afternoon? My goodness! On my drive back home, my car almost became a hot air balloon! If I hadn't opened a window, I would be in South Africa by now!.....or maybe it's none of those and instead it's all about someting else entirely that I don't know about....or maybe I do know about it, but just aren't prepared to say......can't say.
One thing is pretty obvious though......there is definitely something missing....a missing something! Something lacking!

Kayaking tonight....lets see what happens there eh;) Lets just hope the life gaurds are watching me;)


Jason







(C) JPT 2007.........973.06 miles.

"Mum's The Word"

Mr T's filthy little feeties;)

A pinch & a punch....the first day of the month! No April Fools here I'm afraid! I completely forgot didn't I! What a silly sausage I be;)

I was going nuts...totally nuts...really I was! I just had to didn't I! I did feel like a right twit though.....but I definitely needed it! The ride on my Mum's bike that is (keep reading & I'll explain). I haven't been out on anything except four wheels and a pair of trainers since Wednesday....tell a lie, I did a bit of kayaking up at Ealing pool on Thursday night....and "Dessert (dessert as in pudding;) Storm" went in on Friday afternoon. My little bike has been spending the weekend over at the local grease monkeys. Bit of a pampering was needed is all and a few replacement parts too. I am sooo useless when it comes to home maintenance on bikes or cars &....er.....well....anything mechanical really. So in the shop she goes! I miss her sooo much already! This is why I want (need) a second bike! I could feel my leg muscles waisting away as I slept last night! I was thinking of all the ways I could get hold of a bike for Sunday. Jac's is too small for me and Daisy's is the same size as Jac's! Lee's is too big....he is 6ft 5ins! With the seat right down, & with my 5ft 10ins I can hardly reach the pedals! My legs are a bit on the short side;) I do make up for it though in other areas;).........I have a longer body;) Now now!! What sort of Blog did you think this was eh;)
I also contemplated going to the gym with Jac on her guest pass thingy and use their cycling machine for an hour or so. But it isn't the same and Wow!, what a Lovely day it was. The gym was quickly kicked in the balls with all it's sweat stained excercise machines and not forgetting to mention the ever reliable layers of all kinds of germs and dried snot from dripping noses! Then I thought of my Mums bike in her shed. Perfick! It's aluminium, it has a gigantic bell on the front and two absolute bottomless baskets attached to each end (in case you wanted to move house one day)....one of them being a stolen Tescos shopping basket! No suspension at all.....but, hey-ho;) The bell was fine and I thought it would be good fun to deafen people out of the way as I rocketed around the park. As it turned out, I didn't need to use the bell as it went off of it's own volition whenever I went over a bit of bumpy ground. Bing! Bing! the bell would go and everyone would look around at me as if to say 'Whassup dude!....We isn't in ya way! Slow da f*ck daan ya prick!
Anyway, I "borrowed" my Mums bike and snidely took off the baskets when my Mum was out shopping with my Sis Tarn and took it to Richmond Park. Packed with people as usual, but it felt as though I went a lot faster than I normally do. I think it may have been a combination of my leg muscles being fit to burst like wound up rubber bands and the fact that my Mums tyres are semi-slick and quite narrow compared to my very nobbly mud tyres! But.....my Mums bike weighs more than mine. I don't know what mine weighs but I know it is lighter than Mums (by quite a bit) which is a whopping 39lbs! That has put my mind at rest about choosing a full-suss mountain bike and wether it would be too heavy to ride next to what I am used to. The full-suss I have my eye on is 26.7lbs. I reckon I could handle that. I still need to weigh my other bike......I should get it back tomorrow (Monday). I weigh 1lb under 11 stone if you're interested.
Actually, I (along with Daisy's help) just decided today that a full-susser would be best....for one thing, I already have a pretty decent hard-tail and a full-susser would do my joints the world of good on those roots and rocks up in the hills. I just need to commit now and order the bastard thing!!
So there I was, riding around RP on a ladies bike, with nowhere to put my watter bottle....except in my rucky (can you believe that it don't even have holes to fit on a water-bottle cage!)....and I actually found it quite a pleasant ride. As I said, quite fast too. I did 15 miles in 1hr 10mins. It was very windy (17mph) too & very warm (16 degrees) for the time of year! I was so grateful to get out today, so thank you Mum for the use of your fantastic bike:) I didn't think you'd mind seeing as though you won't be using it so soon after your knee replacement;) I have yet to put the baskets back on....which I will do, but I think I will wait just in case my bike ain't ready tomorrow and need to "borrow" it again;)

The rest of the day was spent high-pressure jet washing my Mums crazy paving at the end of her back garden with Daisy. That is where I got the mucky ankles from, and not cycling as you may have presumed. Funnily enough, they do look exactly like that after a ride in the mud.

So there you have it.....what more could you ask for eh? You got a mountain biker riding his Mummy's bike around the park and a Lovely photo of his filthy little skinny legs to boot;) I'm afraid I didn't get a pic of me on my Mums bike, as I was on a mission to get back home as fast as I could in case anyone I knew saw me on it. I'd never be able to live it down;)



Jason






(C) JPT.........923.92 miles.