Alternative Christmas Light's

Pitch Hill last night.



So that is Christmas out of the way once again. I never thought I would see so many since Semptember 1987! I honestly thought I would not even see the new year that was 1988. Strange how things turn out eh. And even stranger just how long one seems to dwell and lie scared throughout the years since just waiting for a terrible end. Then when it doesn't come........what do you do? Just keep waiting as it is easier than looking forward.
Big rut ahead......unseen!
Fall blinded head first into rut.
Lie in the bottom of rut not doing much of anything except waiting to die.
See small but not very bright glimpses of top edge of rut.
Look at where you are lying in rut then back up to the light.
Decide very quickly which place is easier to reach and fall asleep again......waiting!
Right where you were all along............in the rut!

You may have noticed that in my posts (well, the last three anyway and in particular the last one) I may have seemed a little down to say the least. Just reassuring you that all is ok. I often feel this way and even before I started tx for Hep C I was prone to these bouts of feeling down and lost etc. I wouldn't say I am depressed, not that I would know even if I was depressed because I think a truly depressed person wouldn't necessarily know that they were even (so maybe I am depressed then;). But wether I am or am not in a depressed state I am dealing with it in my own unique way.

So onto the last few days then in one quick(ish) text bite:)

Noisy next door neighbors....the worst kind....Just nowhere near damn f*****g cold enough to even begin to "Feel" like Christmas! Where is the god damn snow? Posting a blog that is a darker shade of black! Had to be done and it still stands! When you gotta let it out, you gotta let it out. These tunnels one travels through backwards and forwards consistently during our lives are all long and all dark and all cold! But as with all tunnels...........each and everyone has a beginning and an end....each of which has it's fair share of light. They must do or we would all be part of a rather large pile of rotting flesh at the bottom of Earth's tallest cliff?
Christmas dinner with my Twin Nicola, Lee and daughter Evie and Lee's Mum Pam (she met the Beatles once:), Collected Mum & Dad hoping to god that my Dad wasn't wearing aftershave (My Mum gets very bad migraines), drafted in to peel sprouts I was......strangley theraputic. Full kitchens, sweating Lee's, Beers (Cobra 0.0%) in the freezer to cool, new potatoes that I washed and were never even used. Throwing a slinky up and down the stairs with Evie, filming (my hiding place) my Dad whilst asking him very awkward questions about sex and wether he has ever had a gay relationship before (I was in that kind of mood). filming (more hiding) all sorts of Christmas stuff......kitchen, front room, kitchen, front room etc. The consumption of a nice dinner (first of two), no dessert, exploded beer bottles in freezer, green glass and beer flavoured snow (the only snow we got this Christmas) everywhere that I helped clear away, took a few photos, I hate taking "normal" photos! Worrying all the while about going home to my "shared" hole! Feeling like I wanted to go home............so I did and took my Mum & Dad home too to their seperate houses (divorced about 27 years ago) but still friends (sort of;). Went home hoping for peace & quiet..........Disco instead! Almost fell away into a deep hole, head in arms and sank (wrote post for my blog)! Got out bike instead and went for 50 minute bike ride around Bushy Park and Thames tow-path. Pretty quiet out there I can tell you:) I think a neutron bomb had been let off sometime during the day and I cycled through all the "ruins" so to speak. Back home now and jumped into the bath and the disco seemed to grind to a halt. Dropped some painkillers round to Jacs (who had a shit Christmas) for cramps, did my normal evening stuff before I went to bed around 3am, dreamt My Dad came around to my flat very deshevelled looking and smelly, he took his trousers off as he walked into my front door and his clothes were stained with piss and other things. He sat down on the hallway floor and stroked Dylan (My old cat who died about 10 years ago), I just looked down at the both of them and felt sorry for them!

Got to stop here for the day as my HIV pills are kicking me somewhere just the other side of here!

Next day feeling more or less........; So on to Boxing Day. A noiseless awakening soon put me in the right(ish) frame of mind (that's all it takes). Dad collected smelling very subtle (good sign), Mum collected who didn't smell a thing (another good sign), both happy as larry (good signs all round), Off to Tania's in Whitton/Twickenham for another dinner (second of two) and more kids. Nicola et al arrived also and people sat around, Naif & Tarn had a parsnip peeling race (or Parsley as my Dad calls them), Dad was kept quiet with a rather large book (good move Tarn;).......he read it I might add & was not hit with it very hard right over his smouldering & bewilldered head;) Mum read up-stairs for a bit, Kids had a ball as kids do:) Daisy was very chuffed with her new mobile phone, Naif, Daisy & I played guitar on the PS2 ( I really enjoyed this:), a little doodling on Daisys new drawing pad for her pc (and this too), more filming (mainly Millie's reaction to "Tickle-Me-Elmo"), she was freaked out at first by this one and a half foot tall elmo that almost laughs it's head off.....falls over onto his belly.....slaps the ground in submission.....gets back up again and asks for more. But she soon got used to him and as long as Elmo was asking her to tickle him it was alright for her to do it (kids say the strangest things;), another great dinner (second of two), "SingStar" on PS2 (I watched & listened, Millie (not quite 3) sang Blondie's Atomic & Tarn & Naif (not quite 33) battled it out during a rather iffy rendition of Daniel Beddingfields popular hit?;), The new Rocky VI movie was on in the background throughout the day (needed subtitles;), I have dark chocolate & biscuits coming out of my ears;)...................Home!

Do you ever feel trapped inside of your own life? I wish I was a kid again!

Tree is already back inside it's box! Bit of shopping yesterday (Wednesday) and a bike ride with Lee later up in the hills in the dark (update tomorrow here) ; Hope you like the photo Lee:) We had a nice bike ride last night (all 1 hour & 50 minutes of it) and yes it tried to rain and yes one of us had eaten far too much the two days before (didn't they Lee;) and yes one of us had far too much to drink last Friday night (didn't they Lee;) How many Tequila Slammers did you have? And after how many pints of lager were those Slammers slammed into you? Good for you Lee mate;) Got to give him credit for getting up at 10am the next morning, albeit feeling and also looking a little like a 6ft 5ins zombie;)
So you have to hand it too him really. He did rather quite well considering. And he was wearing combat trousers to keep his legs warm (all 9ft of them both) and it wasn't even that cold was it.
The weather was interesting where as last time I was up there on my own last Thursday in the fog in the valley, it was up on the summit this time and the valley was clear. Hence the photo of us both (named in our rear lights) being nice and fog free. That was an interesting photoshoot eh Lee. How many times did we go back and forward to get the shot? It was good fun though and next time I must remember to bring my tiny little tripod I got from Lee & Nic that you can twist around small branches and posts for an instant tripod! We mainly went all that way to the Surrey Hills just to ride down "Barry Knows Best" really, in the dark! It was good too. Because you have two fingers on each hand (index & middle) permanantly on the brake levers, the thumb, little & the one next to it are the only fingers actually holding the grips. This makes the muscle in the padded part of the inside of each hand ache & burn like mad! But as soon as we reached the bottom we wanted to do it again.
So back to the car and some cinnamon milk chocolate (courtesy of yours truly this time;) to finish off our festive ride and then a quick delivery of a 6 and a half foot tall man back to Strawberry Hill 22 miles away.

Done it!


Jason

P.s. You may have noticed I have changed the name of my Blog. I would like to know what you think and indeed if I should have changed it at all. I had been thinking of this name for quite some time and if I had thought longer about the naming of my Blog when I first created it I probably would have come up with this anyway. It is taken from the first line of a Joy Division song called "Decades" written by Ian Curtis. Find it on the internet and have a listen if you want. The dark sound of the song and the tragic lyrics sum me up pretty well I think. And without knowing it have done for years and years. You may have gathered that JD are my favorite band.






(C) JPT 2006

Not Surface Pleasure, but beneath...

My tree. Dec 25th 2006



But where? For I have looked plenty! I seem to be lost in it all.
I've been here before mind......looking. Can't seem to find it.
It will come along someday, when I'm not looking probably.
Has it already been and gone? Hadn't thought of that.
If it hasn't........how will I know it when it does?
Waiting for something too......the end actually.
Right on it's toes once, I was stood looking at it in the face.
I stepped toward it and he stepped back!
It is just plain agony now.....this game.
Looks like I may have stopped in my tracks a while back and let him carry on.
Still there in front......not too far away. He's not that stupid......the teasing bastard!
Getting fed up I am, and feeling vulnerable.
Only the tiniest thing does it! Fuck's it all up for me!
Just living their lives is all......but why here in my space?
Don't they realise the score? Of course they don't.
Even if they did, then why should they give a shit!
I don't give a shit about them! Or do I?
There is no ball small enough that I can become.
Just have to face it I suppose......can't escape.
Even our holes, painstakingly crafted over years are no longer our own!
There is room only in here for one......not for me it seems!
Where can I go from here? How did I get here even?
Supposed to be Christmas and look.....
Look what it is doing to me! Just one tiny thing fucks it up!
Trivial Pursuits anyone? No? Thought not.
One year after the next after the next after........
I got people, I got enough people. Good people.
Close to me. To close? To good? To many?
Some might say I need something altering.
Others might say I am doing just fine.
I say I suppose they are right. Everyone is right.
People come and go all around me.
Some are around for longer than others.
Some are dust before you know it. Swept along through their own long dark tunnel.
More trips to the hospital, through my own tunnel.
I can see the end of that tunnel standing on the platform waiting to come home again.
But where does it come out at? Just the otherside.
Back where I started from in fact.
Still a long dark tunnel.......from either end.
Can't win...



Jason






(C) JPT 2006

"Shimmering Autopsy"

York House Gardens, Twickenham. October 2006



Dreams of sterile rooms set aside for me
Dreams of bodies waiting for my eyes to see
Dreams of cleanliness, disorder & fear
Dreams of dustless surfaces, no flies in here
Dreams of sliding up to exposed muscle & veins
Dreams of missing skin & back bones on display
Dreams of being curious & wanting up close
Dreams of slight bodily smells not unpleasant
Dreams of fresh flesh slipping
Dreams of bloodless white fat
Dreams of my eyes taking it all in
Dreams of what her face would be like with skin
Dreams of what shape her mouth was in
Dreams of her being wrapped in plastic
Dreams of the moment when she was taken away
Dreams of me wanting her back to stay
Dreams of a monitor showing me smiles
Dreams of the image fading, she's gone for a while
Dreams of static, then black, then nothing
Dreams of Forum Members bringing sandwiches
Dreams of one being another
Dreams of some being nobody
Dreams of small sections missing
Dreams of bites being taken
Dreams of bites being left
Dreams of being here before
Dreams of always being here


Jason





(C) JPT 2006

44th Injection & "Satan in My Arms..."

Winter Solstice, Holmbury Hill this afternoon.

What the hell is going on here then! And who's hands are these hovering over the vein in the crook of my right elbow? I can't see a face.......I don't even think of looking up! I have never been one to look up.....I need.....no, NEED to see where I am placing my feet and their ever so delicate ankles, I don't like people looking at me, so I look down to avoid being seen, I look for cracks in the paving slabs......I cannot afford to step on one.....if I do I will die of a horrible HIV related death.....or turn a dark shade of yellow with liver failure.....and die!
I am in shock! I can't even begin to breathe.....not until this nightmare is over! Who's hands are they? Why my right arm? I have not used my right arm for what must be at least 15 years. I over used it........so much so that it seemed to collapse and failed completely as a vein! I switched arms at this point all the way over to my left arm where I am still spiking today. I started off in my hands! The back of them.....but this was just too painful and it always felt as though I was being injected into the bone!
So why the strange hands?......why my right arm?......and why me? This vein is such a pathetic vein! Tiny....defenceless....naked....scared & scarred.....resting from years of abuse and humiliation! After all.....this vein is the one that let in the Devil! Oh yes! He came alright, snuck into my body and into my head through this innocent little doorway! He brought along a few friends too.....playing games inside me they are.....deep down in the furthest part of my heart and soul where they won't be found.
These strange hands and their rough fingers prepare my tiny doorway for entry once again! My eyes are as wide as saucers.......I wan't to shut them and look away.....but am compelled to watch....I need to see what happens, just in case I can do something....anything to stop this! My entire arm is locked out in front of me......I can feel the prickly surface of the skin on these strange hands and their abusing fingers. They are dirty and weathered......long uneven nails filled with black!
I find my left hand clutching the fabric of my trousers......My nails dig in deep! It hurts me to grip so hard and I feel my nails cutting into my flesh! My vein is being pulled back tight......one of the hands grip my upper arm with tremendous strength.....I feel as though my hand is going to explode. I try hard not to look away again! My eyes are burning a whole in my vein! It begins to swell with blood....it feels wierd.......It isn't used to having so much blood running through it. My teeth are clenched and I am afraid they will crumble inside my mouth.
Then I see the needle! Long needle, blunt needle.....jagged mouth wide open! Dirty, used, stained with rust or blood or skin.......Filthy! Little drips of fluid fall onto my pale white skin and slowly drip down the side of my arm coming to rest in my hairs. The needle is only inches away from my vein now. The needle looks a bit like an old and war torn aeroplane back from it's killing spree coming into land on a runway of skin and scar.
My head is spinning......my eyes dry out.........tears begin to fall and soothe them. The needle slowly pushes into my arm........ I feel the rust scratching on my vein!.....Another of the Devils friends has come inside me.....AaaaaaahhhhHHH!!!!!........My arm feels like it is full of molten lead!.............I faint from exhaustion & agony!


Jason

P.s. 44th Interferon injection all done and dusted (10 minutes ago).......just 4 more to go.





(C) JPT 2006

Posting in the Fog

Hand-cut JAE, Dec 2006


Aviation fuel stinks! Ok, maybe not so much when you visited the airport as a child to see Concorde (needn't have bothered really since I only had to sit in my Mums back garden and watch them soar and hear them scream overhead). But it does when it is inside your front room! I am pretty sure it was coming from the aircraft that were cancelled over at Londons Heathrow Airport today. Fog bound is what they are saying. Although I have seen thicker fog on numerous occasions with no problems. Oh well.....I suppose it just bothered me because I could smell the fuel while I was wrapping presents.
It is foggy out there though.......I Love the fog and would be out in it on my bike if I hadn't been out yesterday already and didn't have these things to wrap blah blah blah!
The fog will still be there tomorrow and so will my bike.

Kingston-Upon-Thames had the pleasure of my company today along with my Mum who needed a few things as I did. I thought that whatever my Mum was planning on buying that I would pay for it and that would be her present for Christmas.......so I did. She got some Egyptian cotton duvet covers etc and a kettle too. I got myself a duvet cover for myself.......there is nothing like slipping into brand new bedding.
It wasn't too busy considering the time of year. The drive in was fun as I had to try and keep calm and just do my best to ignore all the tossers that inhabit the roads. I am getting very good at it too. I hardly broke a sweat & my heart rate stayed normal as I admirably kept my middle finger safely tucked away inbetween his neighbours. My Mum Loves the way I drive......she says I am so confident and if it were her at the wheel she would panic and curl up into a little ball down in the footwell at the first sight of another car;) It just comes natuarally to me.

Like so many other things in my life......that's just me all over really. Utterly & totally confident when I am behind the wheel of a car or scooter (Vespa) or mountain bike or syringe or needle or drug or pain or illness or side effects or heat or cold or heights or the deep blue sea or tunnels or mountains or planes or trains or people or depression or animals or fear or Love (with a capital L) or death..................So then why is it I feel so bloody lost at the same time?

Bit of a rubbish post no? Nearly didn't but wanted too. Pile of shite! Can't wait to get all fog-bound tomorrow out on my bike:)


Jason





(C) JPT 2006

Dear Heart........I Miss You!

Atlanta 2004


Born blind, they find,
Cold steel, soon feel...
But Virus! wait!
They don't Love you like I Love you!
Innocence, no more,
Pain starts, for sure...
But Virus! wait!
They don't Love you like I Love you!
In it goes, so kind,
Rape & pillage blood, I find...
But Virus! wait!
They don't Love you like I Love you!
Not living, that's fine,
Dying? Just killing time...
But Virus! wait!
They don't Love you like I Love you!
Hearts beat on,
The Sun still shone...
But Virus! Wait!
They don't Love you like I Love you!


Jason

P.s. Exactly one month to TX end...





(C) JPT 2006

Frozen Eels & Buried Treasure

My trusty cloud doesn't stray too far.


I can't believe that I went out this morning without actually finding myself in the bog for a dump! I always manage to squeeze one out before I leave the flat! Not today though. I will not say anymore about poo or having a poo or what I did to help matters regarding my disappearing poo act! Although I will say one more thing..........I did come back home feeling at least 2lbs lighter....ahem!............Oh, I do apologize.......you didn't need that much info did you;)

Our drive to The Surrey Hills, Peaslake, Surrey was pretty slow going; Mainly because of a very slow moving vehicle in the middle of the road. I felt just a little bit guilty when we eventually passed it and saw it was a disabled man driving an electric wheelchair and he was using his mouth to steer! He had a large flag extending out from the back of it right up into the air. And a back-up vehicle in the form of a van driving just yards behind him no doubt full of spare batteries. Then we found ourselves behind a giant orange tractor bouncing away on his big fat knobbly tyres. But the sun was out and the rest of the traffic was fine and besides, we were more looking forward to getting up in them Surrey Hills too much to be annoyed about traffic.
We (Lee & I) arrived in Peaslake around 12:15 and drove by the little triangle that is Peaslake Village........don't blink or you will miss it (or crash into the only shop there;)....Here also were sat several fellow mountain bikers drinking tea & coffee from the shop and checking out our bikes that were clamped to the roof of my car.....past the hotel, pub & church and then into the very bumpy and mucky car park at the bottom & precisely inbetween Pitch & Holmbury Hills.
What happened in the 10 minutes between us getting out of the car and then cycling off to the top of Holmbury Hill are best left un-posted! believe me, they are!

It was cold to start off with........very cold! And the sky was mostly free of clouds....almost clear in fact. The long slog up to the start of Barry Knows Best soon warmed us up. I had to stop a while so a fellow mountain biker who was just in front of us could blast his snot out each of his nostrils & disappear just ever so slightly away from my invaluable lungs! Disgusting!
So, all nicely warmed up and in serious danger of our balls over heating.....we pass by BKB (we will come back this way in a while) and make our way through the trees, over the roots, white shafts of light coming in low from the sun, around (mostly) the black muddy puddles, a little puppy dog that escaped from his owners and decided to follow lee & I until we actually had to stop so the owners could catch up with their precious pup! 10 minutes later we arrived safely at the top of Holmbury Hill (dog free......for the time being) and took a photo, had a bit of a drink, admired the fantastic view, started to get icybles (it goes from one extreme to the next in this weather......our poor nads!) and cycled back to BKB via the stinky, wet, muddy pits that are the The Yoghurt Pots (never again in winter!)......oh yes, that puppy that we kind of led astray? It caught us up at the top when we had our drinks and as we left it ran after us again prompting us to stop and the owner to run after him. There must be something about us that the pup really Loved:) I caught him by his collar and felt his warm soft fur:) We bode our farewells again and went to our favourite downhill section (Barry Knows Best). That track is great! It should be longer though. We stopped halfway down to take a few pics of each other jumping. The photo below is me doing exactly what I shouldn't be doing considering I have haemophilia! You just gotta though haven't ya;)

Me doing nutty's down Barry Knows Best!

Lee had his turn and just look at the shadow he & his bike cast on the ground. I wanted a shadow of my wheel in my photo! Bastard! Ah....but just look how high my wheel is off the ground compared to Lee's! I am much higher and I was going faster! Feel free to comment Lee if you think you were going faster;) His photo that I took with the really cool shadow of the wheel is below.

Lee trying his best to copy the egg-spurt!

We Love bombing it down there. Actually we Love bombing it everywhere, but downhills like that are the best because you don't need to pedal. Lee does more jumps than I do. That is probably because I ain't as stoopid as he is. But I did nearly fall off twice today, so who is the silly one now eh! Those bloody roots! One of these days I'm gonna fall off that darn bike and kill myself! Oh well. at least I will be having fun;)
We arrived at the bottom with big smiles (as usual) all over our faces and said to each other how F*****g cool was that? (as usual) & how we wish it was twice as long (as usual). And off we went past the Peaslake "Tractor Pulling" teams headquarters and swung by the little village triangle and shop once again and we were only half way through our ride! I popped into the shop as Lee checked out all the other mountain bikes. I wanted to see what kind of post cards they had. Really boring ones that weren't even photos! Paintings of Leith Hill tower and Peaslake 100 years ago! And a photo of beachy Head light house by the cliffs on the South coast..........I mean that is nowhere near Peaslake!
So for the next hour and a half we headed off up into Pitch Hill by the church.....through literally thousands of trees and over those; Ever ready to pull you off your bike.........."The Antient Half Submerged Frozen in Time Solidified Eels!". Twice I nearly came off during todays ride and twice I was just like a stuntman in a movie;) Lee & I want to get a helmet camera.......That will be fun:).
Up to the top of Pitch, had some lunch and more chocolate....MMmmmmm! Took a photo (see photo at the very top of the post....the bench one & check out the cloud seemingly attracted to me)), admired the wonderful view, listened to the little dicky birds tweeting & weaving in and out of the bushes looking for flies maybe? Such a beautiful sound! It reminded me of the sound the birds make in spring time. Oh, and a hot air ballon about 30 miles away towards The devils Punchbowl, Hindhead. Several tiny airplanes drawing little white lines on their light blue black board as they head towards Gatwick. Lee had frozen fingers, so off we "Bombed" it down to the bottom of the otherside of Pitch Hill by the windmill and found some short but very steep drop-ins that we had discovered a few weeks back in the blackness of night. We had a look at them in the safety of daylight and cycled down them twice each:) One time I nearly hit a tree head-on at the bottom! Very exciting!
Then..........are you still with me;)...........back up to the top and down to the car park via our regular single tracks with their twists and turns, roots and tiny berms, oncoming mountain bikers, fast downhills and a steep & very rooty (did I say I nearly fell off earlier?) section that eventually led right out into the car park. A flick of the stopwatch, a chunk of cinnamon milk choclate each, an hours drive and we were home. Dropped Lee of in Strawberry Hill and then promptly dropped myself into the bath back at my flat:)

I don't know what tired me out more..........the bike ride or writing this post;)


Jason





(C) JPT 2006

The Badger & I

An 18 year old T-shirt from Forbidden Planet of mine.

Badgers & the way that they seem to materialise just when you least expect it - I don't see too many badgers around on my bike rides. If I need a rabbit I just reach out and grab one (after a little chase) like an apple in an apple tree. If I want a Stag Deer I throw Monkey nut's (that's 'Monkey nut's' NOT 'Monkey's nut's') at it and there it is in the palm of My hand. If I want a midgey I just need open my mouth and on my tongue they land (like a great big pink wet bouncy castle. But badgers are pretty thin on the ground at the best of times! The ones I have seen that aren't sniffing out some tasty insects or crisps & cigarette butts etc (I don't know what they eat) and the odd one that I may hear rustling through the leaves in the woods (sniffing out a different kind of butt;) are either the flat kind (cars & lorrys are pretty heavy things) lying by the central reservation of the M25 or while out for a bike ride back in April I came across one in a chalk quarry (where the quarry there has doubled for the Planet Skaros (Dr Who) or the Planet X-Bar (Blakes 7) that pretty much looked asleep! Of course it was dead! Dead as a Dodo! And that my friends was the closest I have ever come to one...............except that is until yesterday evening when Lee & I were out for a bike ride around our local ride Number 1 (Richmond Park). The weather was great except for the strong headwind & the way it fired the rain at us like tiny wet bullets (it wasn't quite that bad) at a more or less horizontal direction straight into our faces! And the mild weather too made us build up quite a bit of heat considering we had set off out as though it were the frozen wastelands of the Arctic Tundra we were headed for!
Oh......did I mention the badger that ran out in front of me as I was travelling at a fair old pace in the pitch black with a very bright light focusing on just the part of the track that I most need to see? The F****r was pretty big too! It just jumped out in front of me! I almost shit my pants I can tell you! If I wasn't going so fast I would have smacked right into the poor sod's face with my front wheel.........& I would probably have come a right cropper and smashed my face on the gravel path......& Lee, being so close behind me would also have promptly said Hi to the pile of bike, bone & Badger that was me in the middle of the path!
It didn't end there though. You have to remember that all this happened in a matter of maybe 1 second! As I was nearly jumping out of my skin the poor thing ran into my back wheel and Lee said that it ran snout first into my back wheel and then it fell over kind of rolling back onto it's legs and legged it up the side of the hill and into the woods. I kept on going for a bit just in case it was coming after me! I eventually looked back after about 10 seconds and saw lee had stopped and was watching to see where the Badger had gone and if it was alright. I could see Lee had shone his light up the slope and all I could see was a thin wedge of light cutting through the dead ferns and bushes towards where the badger had sprinted too! They are such fast bastards when they want to be!
We lost it and well.....there was nothing more we could do except carry on. I do hope it is alright. So after nearly 9 or 10 miles completed and about 3 or 4 miles left to do, we stopped at the Richmond gate on our way out of the park and Lee went into his rucksack and pulled out two Cadbury's Flakes and a mini bar of Cadbury's milk chocolate each:) He always has some chocolate in his bag........I really don't know what I would do without him sometimes! Yum yum yum!!! I Love chocolate:)


Jason





(C) JPT 2006

43rd Injection & The Man in My Mouth!

My wall is well built, tall and very very strong!


Yesterday I was told to meet two people in a very small windowless room in the bowels of a giant concrete building. I went there feeling a little anxious but mostly curious as to what was going to happen to me once I was under their complete control. In this room I was sat down by a masked man and a masked woman! I was asked to relax and was told everything would be alright & that they would be performing a procedure on me not too dissimilar to some kinds of medieval torture! As I lay back in the grey PVC covered chair I interlocked my fingers together resting them, my hands and my arms across my slow heaving chest and looked straight ahead at this alien looking arm that seemed to extend out from the wall directly infront of me. From the end of this arm shone two tiny spot light beams which seemed to make a b-line for my eyes. I was temporarily blinded and quickly closed my eyes! Then through my red eyelids I could see the light was moving away from my eyes and down slightly towards my mouth. I was asked to open my mouth where a large metal & glass syringe was duly positioned into it. I felt a sharp stabbing pain as the long steel needle which was screwed onto the end of the syringe was inserted into the thin flesh covering my jaw bone in one corner of the very inside of my wide open mouth! After what seemed like 20 minutes of various sounds very similar to drawers sliding open then sliding back shut, cupboard doors opening then closing, footsteps to and fro in the space just behind me, the masked man & woman came back over and said that they were now ready and would continue with the procedure. I was then told to raise my hand if the pain that was going to be inflicted upon me became all too much for me.

One hour and one half of........
Drilling,
clamping,
scraping,
stamping,
numbness,
digging,
saliva ridding,
fingers,
thumbs,
elbows,
numb bums,
jets of water,
jets of air,
suction tubes,
mouth rinses,
one chair!


I never did raise my hand in surrenderment. I was far to stubborn to give in to these two high powered drill wielding maniacs!

Jason

P.s. I took the photo when I visited Inverlochy Castle in Fort William back in June this Summer. It was built in the 1200's and Ben Nevis keeps his beady little eye on it;) I Love this part of the world!

P.p.s. My 43rd Interferon injection went very well again. Just 5 more to go..........then what M? What are you going to use then eh;) he he:)




(C) JPT 2006