34th needle and Crying Mums...

Eel Pie Island, River Thames, Twickenham, Thursday.

Since my encounter with the wonderful Deer in Bushy Park on Monday I have learned what they were actually doing with all that painful bellowing across the dying yellow grass of the park. I have "Autumn Watch" on BBC2 to thank for that. It has finished now which is a shame...very good show & all live too. Bill Oddie is funny, everytime he saw himself on the monitor he seemed to be tidying his hair. Seem to forget sometimes he was in "The Goodies".
Right....Since Monday then I have been doing the kind of stuff I like to do and in the kind of weather I like to do it in. Another ride around Richmond Park on Tuesday....Very high tide along the footpath! The whole length was a foot under water. I did the whole length trying not to get wet feet! Silly really, fighting a bit of a loosing battle I was. It's not so nice either when you can't see where the bank ends and the river starts. Good fun though. Played havoc with my ankle joints though! They don't like to get cold & wet! I could hardly walk when I got home!
Then Wednesday more cycling...This time in the other direction towards Bushy Park. Lovely and sunny, wind nice and little. A few midges (bloody Muffleheads!) still alive and looking for the odd orifice of the Human type (Nowhere near as bad as in the Summer & the vicious Highland Midge I encountered in Fort William in June! Millions is an understatement!). Dogs out in force looking for a free Squirrel shaped meal:) It doesn't surprise me that one was wearing a muzzle. The trip back home took me right past Hampton Court Palace....Very quiet looking and probably pretty glad to be rid of all those camera wielding tourists looking for the ghost of Thomas Cardinal Wolsey (did you know that Henry VIII built 49 other places around England similar in style to HCP & none remain today!).
Along the towpath back to Kingston I noticed some of the leaves (don't know what kind of plant) from the Palace spilling over the wall onto the river side. turning a bright red! Autumn is here and the years carry on regardless.

Autumns death, gives life...

As I took the photo, another cyclist was riding up and down wondering what the hell I was doing bending down, looking right into the leaves! Three times she went past. I was tempted to say that I had found a secret portal into another world, what only my little camera could see....thought better of it in the end! I don't look too good in straight-jackets!....not white ones anyway;)

So on to Thursday, A very short, impulsive decision to go for a little kayak up the Thames (see photo at top). Only the day before I had seen some kayakists paddling away and thought that that is what I am going to do tomorrow. Ideally I would have Loved to take a drive to Lulworth Cove, My favorite Kayaking area. My friend Lee and I have planned to go together in the next month. I am all excited just thinking about it, it has been a while........Christ on a bike!! It has been 2 years since I was last down at the "Door" (Durdle Door)! This can't be right...but it is and the Cove here we come...watch this space!
So...I launch right under St Marys Church in Twickenham. Signs everywhere warning drivers of the massive risk of flooding at high tide. Believe me, I have seen plenty of half submerged cars, a tasty treat for the very greedy and not very choosy Thames! But before I take to the Thames, I have lunch over at my younger Sister Tania's. My little niece Millie was there too:) And my Mum. I went onto Tania's PC to see what my blog looked like (I have a Mac). I read one of my previous posts titled "For the Love of Livers" out to them, they were interested as to what sort of stuff I do on there. My Mum don't do computers and wouldn't read it herself. Anyway, by the time I was finished, My Sister said; "See what you've done? I looked up and saw my Mum was crying! I had no idea it would have that effect on her! I never no what to do when I see people crying. I'm not used to crying at all. It doesn't come easily to me for some reason....
.....The sun was very low in the late afternoon sky! It was almost like looking into the proverbial tunnel of light to another world...I needed sun glasses! I was forced to paddle in the direction of the sun (Teddington Lock) as I needed to stay against the flow of the tide, because coming back to the car would be much easier if my arm began to hurt. So off I go, cutting through the oncoming water, being careful to avoid being a local fisherman's biggest catch of the day! Past Trevor Bayliss' house on Eel Pie Island, round the long sweeping left hand bend towards the Lock at Teddington. A lone Swan thunders past from behind me, almost level with my head! These kind of sights don't come too often but when they do....well, it was like when Concorde used to fly over my Mums garden every day, I always stopped and just stared in amazement! Swans make a terrific sound as they swoosh past, wheezing & squeaking as they plunge those ginormous wings up and down!
Up to the Lock itself, passing Rick Parfitts' (Status Quo) riverside apartment. The weir part of the lock was letting in tonnes of water from the non-tidal part of the Thames and made the whole area a no-no for paddling, especially since I was all alone and not wearing a buoyancy aid! I know, I know...! I do have one, but this part of the Thames is so predictable I don't bother. (Slapped wrist starting to sting). I turn around and head back for Twick just as it gets dark. The tide had risen now and has flooded part of the road. Again, very predictable if you know the area. My car was safe and sound:) My day ended in more water in the form of a Lovely warm bath when I got in doors:) A nice little taster for the impending trip to The Cove (with buoyancy aid). Thursday night also saw my 34th Interferon injection go into battle, all guns blazing and wearing steel toe capped boots for the ones who are still squirming in the darkest recesses of my liver.....Stamp those little parasites into dust....Lovely!
So on to Friday! Friday 13th! A trip up to the RFH in Hampstead for my 4 weekly Hep C tx bloods. Lovely sunny day again. Stinky dirty train, look for a discarded "Metro" newspaper to read on the half hour trip. Collect copies of my blood results (from the beginning of tx to present day) I requested a few days before. I wanted to see what my levels have been up to over the last 8 months. I may have to post them on to the forum and Maybe Ross can decipher them for me.
Quickly in and quickly out, back home and prepare myself for a night ride around Pitch Hill, Surrey with my friend Lee. As it's name suggests, it is pitch black when we arrive at the car park in Peaslake. Great weather for cycling, dry'ish, little wind and not too cold. I could tell the Winter is only around the corner though. We had a nice 2 hour ride under the stars and trees. But right near the end, we took a look down a steep looking channel we have named "The Trench", Lee went first and halfway down lost control and went right over his handlebars! He was very lucky! A bit shaken....more worried about his bike and new lights! Oh well, Friday 13th couldn't take a night off could it!

Lee & I. Friday 13th. (post crash)

That was it really. Bit of a long post this time, & 3 photos too:) By the way, Lee is 6ft 4! He looks shorter than me in this photo. I am 5ft 11 on a good day;)

P.s. Friday the 13th, October, 2006....13+10+2006=13!

Jason

The Hep C Cat & the Liver...

Back Door to a Ghost Train. Hastings, 2004

***WARNING: THIS DREAM MAY UPSET ANIMAL LOVERS***

I dream! Therefore I am!

I was compelled to write down my dream this morning. I dream often, but usually I am quite happy to let it go by the wayside and forget all about it (usually within 5 minutes). But this morning was not so! I just could not sleep until I had got it written down on paper.

Hep C cats.....Why is that strange man crying? He seems to be looking for someone...or something along a quiet leafy street. He is looking down at ground level, towards the pavement. It is dry, warm & bright. The air is still. He's holding a grotty old, grime covered towel, hidden slightly behind his back...seemingly ready to smother something with it! I follow his gaze and, find a little, pathetic looking cat sitting on the hard concrete slabs that make up the pavement. The man stops in his tracks, keeping his distance and freezes on the spot...hands tighten around the towel...knuckles white with strength and face white with fear! This poor cat is weak...very weak & tired! Dark, yellow eyes, harldly able to keep them open. Is that cat alright? I ask....No reply! The cat is so weak and feeble, it seems to be melting into the pavement. From somewhere it finds the strength to look up....right up towards the sky. It is wearing this look of complete fear across it's pained face...with a hint of relief too. Beginning to shake and panic the cat looks at the strange man and his towel....still fixed to the spot and with no courage! A pathetic coward! The cat then looks right at me....right into my eyes. Those eyes are saying that I must "do it!". I look around to find something to help me. The towel seems a bit silly for what I want to do. I need to do this properly and quickly....with absoultely no doubt. I notice a moss covered statue of a cat sitting in the garden next to me....too small! An old house brick atracts my attention, sharp edges but not very heavy! But then I spot it....A sign post half propped up outside a condemned derelict house...the sign has a large clump of rock hard concrete stuck to the bottom. This will have to do. It is heavy and cumbersome...I drag it over towards the cat. It is still waiting where I left it. With every step I make back towards this cat, it looks more and more at peace. I notice a small group of people have gathered near the cat. One of them is a firefighter, his helmet and boots dirty and scuffed. I plonk the post down on the pavement with a thud. The group look up at me, then at the post. It seems I am too late! The firefighter has dropped a paving slab right over this cat with a mighty thump! There are no gaps to be seen between pavement and deathly slab. The slab is lifted up and a peek is taken underneath...to see...hoping all is well. The cat is dead and at great peace now. Left only is a dark greasy putrid stain. There are tears and smiles all around....knowone talks...it is all over and done with...life can continue now...forgive & forget!

I think this dream was forum induced from last night. I was replying to two or three members who had just taken their first Interferon injection to rid themselves of Hep C. And I was thinking where they will be going in the next 48 weeks and also the period after treatment comes to an end. That all important part where we hope that it will never come back! The cat in the dream I took to be the spirit of a Hep C riddled liver, half dead from months of poison! Loosing the battle, lost in transition and looking for a quick end. Any help will do....just "do it"! The man with the towel might have been my frightened, coward side and the firefighter was the side of me who knows exactly what to do...no thinking needed! But the part I played in the dream may have been the side of me who just tries his best, but always too late....hoping someone else will do it for me.

Jason

I'm so tired!

Very tired Deer. Bushy Park, Today

I don't mean me by the way. I'm not tired at all. I just had a Lovely cup of de-ca-co (de-caf coffee) & 6 biscuits (3 ginger nuts & 3 dark chocolate digestives). I can hear the tumble dryer going round & round in the kitchen and the TV insists on showing me tits, real murder & repeat showings of old cop shows! Take your pick!
Anyways, I have been out and about this very Lovely day. It is my best (female) friends 33rd Birthday today and I have been taking photographs of boring things like Twickenham Riverside, York House Gardens Statues & the Deer in Bushy Park too. Jac went to Brighton to look around the shops there. The last time I went to Brighton I was kayaking under the piers. The very old and terribly neglected closed down Victorian West Pier was such a fascination to see up close, to be in amongst all that decay & history. I could almost see up the skirts & bustle of the young Victorian ladies as I looked up through the rotting slats from underneath the pier. Oh for a Time Machine!

It was so warm today! It reached about 22*c. So out I went with my trusty camera. It is a Canon IXUS500 digital compact (very basic) but it's amazing what kind of photos you can get with it. I really must get a proper digital SLR of some sort. I have been meaning to for some time. So there I was, out in the Lovely weather enjoying my cheese & ham with roasted vegetables panini purchased from Starbucks in York St, Twickenham. Took a walk down to the Thames, past the site of the old swimming pool...so sad! Past a line of fine looking pigeons sitting on the railings (poor railings). Got a whiff of beer & lager as I found my way past The Barmy Arms Pub and sat on the concrete slab on the rivers bank, overlooking the view up towards Richmond Hill and The Royal Star & Garter Home for old disabled war veterans (our heros).
Finished up my lunch and walked to the statues that I Love very much. I remember as a very young teenager, 'The Cure' made a video for "Hanging Garden" from the brilliant "Pornography" album there and just weeks later the statues were covered in all kinds of obscene goth related graffiti & empty bottles of Tipex thinner strewn about the place. I remember quite well (who could forget) that one of the girls, whom were all totally naked, had a bright pink bush of hair spray painted onto her private parts! I never touched them, you must believe me. All I could do was stare and wonder wether my (first) future girlfriend would have one like it;) (My lips are sealed).
The statues are looking wonderful now of course. They have for some time. Ever since they got a makeover in the way of a Lovely sand blasting from the local council and a "hidden" camera was installed. It has been a long time since Robert Smith freaked out the whole of Twickenham with his big hair & dodgy lipstick. I am a fan of course:)
The day was moving along at a very rapid speed, and before I knew it, it was almost 4pm. I jumped into the car and made my way to Bushy Park just up the road near to where I live. The sun was still shining and the warmth no less. As soon as I got out of the car all I could hear were the Stag Deer calling for mates. You can hear them from some distance away. It is such an eerie sound. Almost like some kind of pre-historic beast might sound like. I saw one resting in the long yellow grass, his antlers sticking up all nice and pointed (an Imperial if I'm not mistaken due to the point count). He looked ever so tired, grass draping from his antlers, momentarily stooping until his chin reached the ground, then back up and head high, calling....tired and still ready for more. I suppose he is calling for female Deer to mate with? Or other Stags to fight with? I took my photo and let him be. Took a walk through the dry, yellow grass, the same grass that Henry VIII rode over whilst hunting these Deer. Meandered through a clump of very foul smelling giant mushrooms before driving back to the real world. I am one lucky MF to have this place right on my doorstep!

Jason

Mud & mushrooms, dinner & feeling weird!

Me, My Bike & My Rucksack today

Feeling a tad weird right now! Been out for dinner with my best friend Jac and her p & m. It's her 33d Birthday tomorrow (same as John Lennons). She has these new veneers on her front teeth. Cost a fortune, but she looks absoultely wonderful! She can't stop looking at them! Anyways...the reason I am feeling weird is because Her p & m took me & Jac out to a nice restaurant and I took my meds just as I was eating. This always makes it feel worse than normal, when I eat food out. Plus the being out and in different surroundings from normal too may have a contributing factor. I wish I could explain it! I am fine, I have gotten used to it by now. My HIV meds are to blame. They do their job, which is the main thing.
Before I had a really great evening I went out to Leith Hill with my bike. The weather was perfect too! Dry, slight breeze, sunny spells and not too warm. I got down to the Landslip car park for about 11:30am and did my usual 13 mile loop of all the best tracks including Summer Lightning. I won't bore you with all the misplaced mud, dying ferns and fake waterfalls etc, but I had a great day and when I got home this afternoon, I doctored a photograph I took of myself wearing a favorite t-shirt of mine on Photoshop. In it I am looking out over the South Downs towards Brighton and the south coast. It is a great veiw and at times you can see the sea on a very clear day. Bit hazy today though (like me). The highlight of the ride though has to be watching a bunch of macho Aussie mountain bikers contemplating wether or not to ride down "Deliverance!" I had already done it once and was keen to see some one else try it. There was some talk of saddles being lowered but nothing else. Once again....Deliverance was left in peace! I left with a smile on my face:) And also todays ride saw an abundance of "Amanita muscaria" mushrooms (the red ones with the white spots). I will probably post a photo of one on here sometime soon. For some starnge reason I really like to look at mushrooms in the wild. Oh, I washed my bike yesterday and it looked like new again. It was so filthy! Well, it needs another bath!
Bills to pay tomorrow, shopping to get in too.

Jason

33rd Injection & Spotted Dick (without custard)

Richmond Hill, Tonight

Back in the saddle again. It felt so good tonight with the wind & rain & puddles...Oh the puddles! They never stopped laying themselves down for me. I must admit, I did dodge a few at first, but then just gave into their being. I was fighting a loosing battle with those damn things! I looked exactly like a spotted dick without the custard when I eventually got home. But Richmond Park and the River Thames towpath are ok really. I like the way the cars wait for the Deer to cross the road. They (the cars) keep right back, WAY back. Just in case the Deer were to explode or something. And must only continue driving when said Deer has entered The Twilight Zone;) Maybe they are waiting to see some Deer sex? I have seen it! The foreplay thing with their antlers is an amazing sight & sound! The park will be closing soon for culling! Too much sex!
It was nice though being out and knowing I am well again and watertight etc. It was only a local ride. Couldn't be bothered with the horrendous Friday night traffic to Peaslake. Tomorrow maybe a better day for driving & for weather.
I was sure I could see Mick Jagger spying on me from his bedroom window in the flat behind me when I took todays photo. But alas, he is in Canada tonight with the rest of his band.
This photo looks out over Twickenham and Teddington. The bright light on the horizon to the right is Twickenham Rugby Ground.
My trainers took a shower with me tonight. They needed it more than I did! I had taken them off. I just gave them a rinse before popping them into the washing machine along with my 'spotted dick' clothes;) I cooked myself a very nice dinner, which went down very nicely! After last week, my appetite seems to have come back ten fold! I was watching "Twin Peaks" (again) last night and the scene where Jerry brings Ben and his whole family (during dinner) a giant brie baggette each from his travels. It is the way Ben unrolls them from the paper they are wrapped in, then smells them right up and down before sticking as much as is humanly possible into his mouth! MMMmmmm! I wanted one so much! Non Twin Peaks fans look bemused at this stage;)
Anyway, now I have a kitchen full of dirty pots and stuff! It will wait until tomorrow.
At least my ipod is all nice and charged for tomorrows drive to The Woods:)

P.s. My 33rd Interferon injection went very well last night. I haven't noticed chills as I sometimes do. Not many to go now! I think my 48th injection will be on the 18th January 06, 5 days befroe my 36th Birthday.

Jason

No Easy Ride!

Stencil. Brixton, London

Yes, I was having an easy ride! Or so I thought anyway. But it seems that my recent bout of diarrhea maybe a wake up call. Just reminding me what sort of regime I am on! It still hasn't been connected to my treatment on Hep C, or HIV. But it did come from somewhere.
I took up my poop sample yesterday & my bloods from Monday were all fine! No call today, so all must be ok! Just a stomach bug from some dodgy food perhaps? Over doing it on my bike? I don't know. It has been exactly one week now since it began & it still hasn't gone away properly yet!
It has been a horrible week & one I don't want to repeat anytime soon! I really hope that it is going now. I won't speak too soon, so I won't.
I have been well and truly reminded though! I was petrified that I would end up in hospital! More than once I thought that I could very easily pack it all in and just lie there and starve to death. Then I wouldn't have to go back to the loo again & again & again! Food was going in I might add, but not down. It seemed to hang around in my throat somewhere. Just sitting. I felt sick the whole time. I was never sick once though. It somehow managed to make it's way down and out, as it did on numerous occasions. But eating was forced. As was drinking. I just wanted to stop and leave it and not bother...
But I did, as I had to. And now it seems...
Well, I am not talking!

Still Raining...

A Flower in my Sisters Garden, 2004

...but my Imodium "Umbrella" is working just fine.

It hasn't gone away! It has been 5 days now since it first started. The Imodium helps things a lot though. But it is only covering over the underlying reasons for it's being there. As soon as the Imodium wares off, it seems to come back.
Again this morning, My breakfast triggered off another bout! My night didn't go too well as it goes. After I got out of the bath after my bike ride, I began to feel more and more unwell, until I felt as though I had mild flu. I had to turn on my central heating for the first time since last winter.
This lasted for around 3/4 hours until it just seemed to disappear. Also during my feeling chilly, I had sweats and felt hot too. But as I said, by morning I was ok again, until breakfast.
Again I called my Docs and was asked to come in. They have taken samples of my blood & urine. Took my temperature (36.7). I couldn't produce a poop sample due to the Imodium having it's desired effect. I have to bring in a sample tomorrow.
I am feeling much better tonight, although I do seem to have lost my appetite somewhat. I'm sure I will loose a little weight during this 'spell'. But at least I know I can pop out and get some 'fast food' to get the calories etc. I have to drink more water too.
Besides all that, I am feeling fine. My gums are a little sore on one side (no blood). Nothing else to report.
I am not in too much pain; I can walk; & I am not puking all the time! It could be so much worse.

Jason

Twin Trees

Twin Trees (again), Box Hill, Today

Hey there:) Feeling a bit better today after my recent spell of 'Bottom Bovver'! Although, i was pretty sure it was all over and done with last night, when this morning it was there again! I had just finished my 'Weetabix & banana' and out it came almost instantly! Surely it couldn't have been my breakfast! It had hardly had time to say hello to my Esophagus for goodness sakes!

Anyways, I took some advice from a previous posts comment (thanks Martinb), and went and bought some Imodium. I took a couple of capsules. It seems to have done the trick, although it is very windy here;)
I got back home wondering what to do on this very wet and windy Sunday afternoon. I really wanted to go out for a cycle. But wasn't really feeling up to it. I did feel a bit 'funny' all afternoon as it goes. Can't explain it really, just a bit weak feeling and miserable.
So i ended up going for a 'wike' (walk/hike) around Holmbury Hill & then on to Box Hill to see how my two favorite trees are doing. I saw a couple of mountain bikers all covered in mud and really wished i had my bike with me!
Eventually the weather got better & better as per Metcheck advice. After a quick photo shoot with the trees, I headed off back to Teddington, put the car away and got on my cycling gear and went for a 45 minute blast to Hampton Court via the River Thames towpath, back through Bushy Park among the rabbits and puddles, back to Kingston Bridge which i crossed and continued along the Thames to Teddington Lock, back over the Thames again, past the studios and back home. Jumped in the bath listening to Xfm on the radio, had a shower then got out feeling like shit! I always feel like this just as i stand up in the bath, probably water too hot! I do like a soak though:)
I am so glad i have my bike! My feet were killing me on my walk! Sometimes i can't beleive i have hiked up Ben Nevis twice! And I intend to climb her again next year! I was at the foot of her in June this year and really wanted to 'do it' then! But i was on a family holiday and i didn't think my Mum would want to carry my ruck sack;)

After all that, i think i can honestly say; I need a day off!

Jason

Get Tested!

World Hepatitis Awareness Day, 1st October, 2006

I have personally known 3 friends of mine to die from Hepatitis C related illnesses! I don't want to see anymore!

This post is for Martin, Dennis & David.

Jason