"He Buzzes like a Fridge"

Mister Yorke doing everything but disappearing completely in a park in London last Wednesday.


The big black cat pushed home
holding half her bloody wardrobe
proceeded to stick it in his aching back
and to all his fellow humans
he said "don't even fucking go there!"
I stood with whom I liked, see
she looked me up and down
but I threw her with my eyes!

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

I stood in the middle
and shuffled round in the heat
they were cheering and waving
pointing and smoking and drinking
singing and dancing like with drunken Meerkats
but it got heated, fucked up
colourful, squashed up
used as a stepping stone to York
buried in a burning back in London

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

Don’t know why I walked away to find the back of the queue!

My reason was safe and a little needed
I stretched and I hobbled like with those drunken Meerkats
you should put me in a hole or you should put me up a tree
I got drunk
We got drunk, see

No one Loves a retarded arse but we all Love our rock & roll stars
this wasn't her infection, I did it for me
I must have got it from years of being
strangled, beaten up and drowned in the sea
I got drunk
We got drunk, You & Me

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!




Jason


P.s. Happy Birthday to Manf tomorrow:)xxx








(C) JPT 2008

"Freeze Dried Vagina's"

What do I use to eat it? An old fashioned spoon or just my tongue?


Written on April 3rd 2007 (Sexually explicit)


"Freeze Dried Vagina's"


The low hum of the refrigerator was strangely soothing to me as I stood in front of the giant luminous monstrosity. The kind you might find at the back of a small high street newsagents or petrol station, where the ready made sandwiches, chilled drinks & pork pies are normally found. My feet were pointing directly towards the fridge, which was of the open kind that didn't have any doors, and from my peripheral vision, I could see that the rest of the room, wether selling petrol or not, was in total darkness. From a distance it must have looked as if I was walking straight into the pearly gates of heaven. A silhouetted figure surrounded by a bright light of unimaginable pleasures. They wouldn't be too far off the mark either, as on the very top shelf, inside this giant glowing cool box, just a little higher than my eye line, were a small line of what at first glance looked like pots of yoghurt, all different kinds of fruits & flavours in varying degrees of bright fluorescent colours. They certainly stood out from the rest of the boring, drab looking and totally unappetizing range of products elsewhere inside the fridge. I was intrigued and wanted to get a little closer. I shuffled forwards a little until my toes bumped into the metal strip that surrounded the base of the fridge. As my toes made contact with the metal, the hum that had been steadily thrumming from the machine changed tone and became quieter. My hands were in their pockets, fingering the loose change that had accumulated there over the last few days. As my eyes began to focus on the pots, I was amazed and more than a little excited as to what I thought I could see!
For there before me, in amongst everything else, were a line of clear plastic pots each sealed with a thin tin foil lid. In each of the pots contained a perfectly clear jelly like substance. And in each of which suspended a perfectly sized and perfectly detailed human vagina. Each one slightly different to the one next to it, and each one neatly trimmed or completely hairless. Some were completely naked and others were covered with a tiny strip of brightly coloured fabric that resembled part of a panty. These jelly suspended freeze dried vagina's looked so delicate and perfect in every way. Their pink skin tones varied from pot to pot as my eyes scanned the line. One was rather quite pale and completely shaved, another seemed to be slightly tanned and had a small amount of pubic hair. Some were very little and others showing absolutely everything, with nothing at all left to the imagination. Whichever one I decided to look at, I just could not decide which one that I wanted. If indeed I should take one at all!





Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for May 2008"

Who's a silly boy eh?



What's this? Another boring "My Cycling" post? You guessed it. As you can see, I cycled about a bit in Richmond Park (where invisible non-bike users keep moving small to medium sized logs around the trail just to piss off the mountain bikers!)...now, if they really want us to stop riding there, they should either set up little land mines everywhere that are only activated when there is a mountain bike in close proximity, or place large to massive sized logs in the way that can't be moved! Silly non-bike people! When will they learn eh?
And also, I have been cycling about a bit up in the Surrey Hills too. Leith, Holmbury & Pitch to be exact. Even here (where all the hills were built especially for us mountain bikers...& horses of course:) have there small to medium sized log placeage problems! There are some non-bike users up there who (when us mountain bikers are at school;) cut down the trees in the woods that our single track winds through and leave all the rubbish bits behind all over the track!! The other day we were there, we couldn't even see where the trail went!! Whats going on? And, the woods smell of diesel oil that has been leaking from the monstrous machines that the non-bike user people use to chop down their precious trees! Could this be the beginning of the end for mountain biking up in the Surrey Hills? At least we didn't come across any dangerous land mines!! I've already had two punctures in a week!!

See you next month my non-walking, non-log putting, non-diesel dripping people...& horses of course:)


Friday 2nd May 2008 @ 19:00, RPx2, Ian, Mike, 30.51 miles, av 11.8, max 28.2 mph, 2hrs 34mins, dry, cool, dusk then dark, spotted one badger, Temp 10, wind 5. Total 1001.95 miles.

Sunday 4th May 2008 @ 20:10, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.08 miles, av 7.6, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 26mins, very warm, dry with a bit of rain, dark, temp 18, wind 6. Total 1013.03 miles.

Tuesday 6th May 2008 @ 20:10, SF, Lee, James, Paul, Stef, 9.68 miles, av 7.5, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 17mins, very warm and dry, cut my left shin, temp 17. Total 1022.71 miles.

Friday 9th May 2008 @ 20:09, Lee, HH, PH, LL. 11.32 miles, av 7.9, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 26mins, temp 17, wind 3. Total 1034.03 miles.

Sunday 11th May 2008 @ 13:00, RP, BP, 20.46 miles, av 13.1, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 33mins, very hot and quite breezy, It was Horse Chestnut Parade in BP this afternoon, so I stopped by there during my ride and lay in the sun with my niece Daisy and my Mum, then Tarn, Naif & Millie came along too, my ankles were very painful and hurt like hell all night!!! Temp 26, wind 13. Total 1054.49 miles.

Tuesday 13th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RP, 14.39 miles, av 14.3, max 30 mph, 1hr, sunny & warm. Total 1068.88 miles.

Friday 16th May 2008 @ 20:00pm, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.95 miles, av 8.3, max 28.8 mph, 1hr 26mins, cool, dry, wind 5, temp 13. Total 1080.83 miles.

Monday 19th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 25.52 miles, av 14.3, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 47mins, cool, cloudy, windy. Total 1106.35 miles.

Friday 23rd May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 18.51 miles, av 14, max 28 mph, 1hr 19mins, warm, dusk, dry, temp 18, wind 14. Total 1124.86 miles.

Tuesday 27th May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RPx2, Lee, 30.01 miles, av 12.9, max 27.1 mph, 2hrs 19mins, humid, dusk, mild. Total 1154.87 miles.




Jason








(C) JPT 2008.........1124.86 miles.