"Here Are The Young Men, The Weight On Their Shoulders"

"Sick England"

2010-06-18T23:40:00.001+01:00

"Sick England"

The streets are littered with discarded Poundland England flags,
Railway bridges are super busy with disillusioned English lemmings.
Rope & one way train tickets to Beachy Head are selling out fast.
The Women of our once great country cower under the stairs & in trembling wardrobes,
Where swollen lips & panda eyes quiver & bulge,
As empty beer can after empty beer can are hurled at the trashed tv in the next room. It is the end of the world as they know it.
Our country's gallant fan of football lick their wounds of split knuckles & tooth dented toe caps.

Kicked in doors.

Hammered steering wheels.

Broken hearts.

There is sick everywhere.

Sick & blood.

Sick & blood & tears.

Not mine, I am more of a snooker man myself!

Jason

(C) JPT June 2010.

"Stains On The Scenery"

2010-06-08T00:36:00.005+01:00

The shit must go,
And the piss too,
The coffee remains,
As I don't have two,
The blood may stay,
As do the crumbs,
One sweeps away,
The other one runs,
The sweat soaks in & disappears,
The pubes too,
Are the least of your fears,
But, If I may say,
With not scare nor fright,
There be one other that's lost it's sight,
In My dreams so dark,
Fantasies so deep,
I am merely one man,
Whom did die in his sleep.

Jason

(C) JPT June 2010.

"Stop Being A Monster, Jae"

2009-09-21T21:51:00.001+01:00

Time to take away the mask?

You're alone in the dark, feeling like you don't want to go home. You're feeling as if life has all but finished, but you keep on killing.

The reason is simple. The reason is there for all to see. The reason being so simple. To kill. You won't find it in you until you've been and gone. Because you're living a lie!

Someone has got to see behind your mask. Your killing mask. Your monster suit! Dull your brain and don't say a word. Just close your eyes and pray. You feel excitement, and then you finally pray that it was long and painful.

It was.

Transform into a machine, to cut away your head. So you can stand back and watch and learn to be dead. If you don't know the pain, then you're still part of the preyed.

You will lose!

Because out in the heat it's strange, to see the blood of your fellow man drying into hard scabs of black shit, knowing full well that you're at the darker end of OK.

Avoid the blade or carry the knife, the choice is yours.

Look at this monster. A non-person with a mask and a monster suit. A semi-disabled nothing. A killer with your eyes in his head.

The greatest masturbator of them all, a sodden mess with a penchant for the end. He'd wipe himself out if he had the chance, but he wouldn't like it, no?

So, stop being a cunting monster!

Jason

(C) JPT 2009

"Comfortably, I Died"

2009-09-05T22:41:00.004+01:00

Goodnight sweet prince.

When you say it's going to hurt, it doesn't, it just feels normal, but it still kills me. And, then I feel the pain.
And when you say it's going to be nice, it isn't, it just feels like death, but I won't die.
And, then I died. I died in a field surrounded by so much space. I felt so bloody greedy. But, I didn't care much as I was quite comfortable sitting in my car. My arms hurt but I didn't look down to see why because I knew they were smashed right up. My nose hurt too, but the rear view mirror was smashed. Out of the corner of my one working blood soaked eye I noticed such a wonderful sunset. It was blinding. I closed my eye and waited for the blood to dry it shut for good as I saw and felt the sun disappear for the very last time through my heavy eyelid. I may have been crying. Who knows? I felt like I was crying inside. Like when your dreams are so vivid and when you cry in your sleep you're really genuinely crying but when you wake up there are no tears. Your pillow is dry and your face kind of looks normal as you stare into the bathroom mirror. The cold tap running slightly. You can't hear the water pour because you made yourself deaf several hours earlier so you could listen to your heart beating and your lungs breathe in and out.
Now, as I sit dying in my wrecked car all I can think of is going to sleep. My feet feel wet, but warm. No pain. Just a gentle ticking sound of the cooling engine as my heart makes its final beats. I was on my way home, but it seems as if I am already there.

Jason

(C) JPT 2009

"My Cycling For February 2009"

2009-04-17T22:50:00.001+01:00

A snowy Peaslake car park in February 2009.

A bit late in posting I know...and still March to come. Right now (April 17th) I have not been out on my bike since March 29th when I took a tumble on my bike at the bottom of the drop-in leading into Peaslake car park! In fact, I have been bedridden and have only just started to walk without the use of crutches. I must thank my good friend Jac for coming to stay over and look after me:) My right knee took all my weight and buckled under me. Fortunately I was only yards away from my car and managed to get home without causing further damage. Nothing broke but my knee did take quite a twisting! I am in such a foul mood because of it all (and my blocked sink and broken wing mirror!) and don't even know if I will be able to cycle properly again! So, please forgive me if I keep this short and go hide in a nice hot bath.
Fuck my knee, fuck this pain and fuck having haemophilia!!!!!!!!!

Sunday 1st February 2009 @ 14:20pm, HH, PH, WW, Ian, 16.24 miles, av 6.6, max 21.6mph,
2hrs 25mins, cold and snowy and sunny. Total 155.57 miles.

Sunday 8th February 2009 @ 14:10pm, HH, PH, WW, Ian, 17.45 miles, av 6.1, max 18.8mph, 2hrs 51mins, very muddy and snowy, rain for second half of ride, temp 2, wind 10. Total 173.02 miles.

Monday 16th February 2009 @ 18:40pm, SF & CW, Ian, Andy, Gary, 9 miles, av 6.9, max 22.1 mph, 1hr 50mins, muddy but dry. Total 182.02 miles.

Friday 20th February 2009 @ 15:00, RPx2 and a third, 26.7 miles, av 12.1, max 29.7 mph, 2hrs 9mins, mild & dry. Total 208.09 miles.

Tuesday 24th February 2009 @ 21:30pm, BP, 13.27 miles, av 13.1, max 19.8mph, 1hr, mild, dry. Total 221.09 miles.

Friday 27th February 2009 @ 19.20, HH, PH, Lee, 11.31 miles, av 6.4, max 20.3 mph, cool, dry, 1hr 45mins, temp 9 down to 5, wind 6. Total 232.40 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2009

"My Cycling For January 2009"

2009-03-11T22:41:00.000Z

No, it isn't what it looks like! It is in fact Lee & Ian practising in a very strange and never before seen mountain biking ritual that I was very lucky to have witnessed! It lasted about three hours and both creatures cycled away from this warped scene with rather large grins smeared across their wind slapped chops!

Crikey, where has all my creativeness gone?!? I bet you that you thought I was done with my blog? I can tell you that I haven't. I have just been finding it ultra difficult to think of anything to put in it! Where have all my dreams gone? And my poems etc? Even my cycling posts seemed to be a waste of time and have missed January's and February's...until now that is. I still managed to jot down my cycling statistics and take the odd photo during all of my rides and shall post them here today starting with January 2009. So, what can I say about January? It was cold! It was muddy! And that's about it. Oh, and I turned 38 on the 23rd too. I thought that I'd never reach 30, let alone 38! But, here I am, still riding my bike and kayaking weekly...albeit in a heated swimming pool (during the winter anyway). I don't think I'll ever get used to having HIV, even though having it these days is really nothing to worry about what with the brilliant treatment regimes available etc. It was learning that I got it at the age that I was that done most of the damage I suppose? I wish I'd found out about it now, as a man and not a 16yr old boy just getting into college and girls for the very first time. Oh, and the tv adverts and news stories didn't help either back then! But, I had to find out all those years ago and at such a young age to give me the best chance of beating this disease and coming to terms with it. Which I sort of have in the way that even though I don't claim to know much about HIV the virus, I do know an awful lot about how to live with a deadly terminal virus, which it is, whichever way you look at it. Because left untreated will most probably end up killing you! I am an expert on taking pills and taking them on time and without fail. This is why am still alive. Because of me and me alone! Yes, they give me the pills and they pay for them and yes, they tell me what is going on with the state of my blood and yes, it is they who know all about HIV and how it can kill you if you don't take your virus seriously. But it is me who takes the drugs everyday, twice a day for the last 20yrs. It is me who tolerates the sometimes toxic ingredients and it is me who makes sure that I keep fit and eat relatively well and maintain my often warped sense of humour and strong and focused mind. And all for what? To stay alive and to out live all of you:)

Saturday 3rd January 2009 @ 11am, HH, PH, Lee, Ian, Andy, Gary, 14.45 miles, av 7.4, max 25.2 mph, 1hr 56mins, temp minus 3, frozen ponds, I fell off and got a bit of a dead leg!

Tuesday 6th January 2009 @ 19:10pm, HH, PH, Lee, Ian, Andy, av 7.9, max 26.2 mph, 2hrs 25mins, 14.98 miles, temp minus 8, no wind, light covering of snow from a few days ago, very cold!

Wednesday 7th January 2009 @ 15:00pm, HH, Tony, 6.72 miles, av 5.9, max 20.2 mph, 1hr, temp zero.

Sunday 11th January 2009 @ 12:35pm, HH, PH, Lee, Ian, 14.71 miles, av 6.9, max 20.4 mph, 2hrs 7mins, much milder and a bit muddier, windy, right elbow hurt a lot!

Wednesday 14th January 2009 @ 19:30-22:00pm, LH, Lee, Ian, Tyrone, 17 miles, av 7.8, max 30.9 mph, 2hrs 10mins, temp 1, no wind, need new middle and granny ring!

Tuesday 20th January 2009 @ 15:00, RPx2 and a third, 28.35 miles, av 11.5, max 26.1 mph, 2hrs 27mins, dry, cool, new Cateye trip computer (Strada in white).

Saturday 24th January 2009 @ 15:00pm, RPx1 and a third, 21.42 miles, av 10, max 28.4 mph, 1hr 38mins, cold, sunny, dry, temp 1, wind 9.

Tuesday 27th January 2009 @ 16:30pm, RPx2, 21.60 miles, av 11.4, max 24.8 mph, 1hr 54mins, dry, cool, temp 5, wind 7.

Jason

(C) JPT 2009

"Nine Of Nine"

2009-02-04T01:26:00.000Z

Nine in life and nine in death!

It's so true!!!! In the last few hours I have looked at the time three times and two of them (the first and third time) the times said 11:11pm and 01:12am! Both add up to thirteen! It drives me, I must admit, slightly mad! I have to wait by the clock (wherever it may be) until it flips over to fourteen! Sometimes this can last almost exactly one minute! I find myself holding my breath...saying to my self that if I can't hold it long enough before the numerals flip away from thirteen...then I shall die! I have failed once or twice to hold my breath long enough in the past! I have yet to find that I have died as a result of my failures, but, I truly believe that I will die if I do fail, but just don't know how or when? On the other side of all this numerical nonsense, I do the exact same thing but with the numbers having to add up to the number nine. For those of you that know me will already know what I am like around the number nine. If I get a total of nine during my clock watching lunacy, then that is a wonderful thing and can even cancel out a previous total of thirteen. Just check out any (absolutely all of them in fact) previous posts here on my blog and you will not find one single post time (what time of the day the post was posted) that does not amount to my precious number nine. Am I mad? Perhaps. Will this ever go away? I very much doubt it. Do you have a similar, dare I say it...O.C.D? Probably. I used to have dreams about numbers when I was younger! They used to frighten me very much and even when I awoke from my dream (or nightmare?) i could not get these numbers from passing before my eyes! They were huge! Not in total, but literally as individual numbers! A thousand feet tall and five hundred feet wide. White numbers with a dark background like space. Like being underground in a gigantic cavern. Like being dead!

Jason

(C) JPT 2009.

"The Cunt Splice Of Life"

2009-01-23T22:14:00.003Z

What I saw on my 38th birthday!

When My friend will You be gone?
Your demise, your end, your very last song?
Are you heading towards the usual trend?
Where beauty holds you to the end?

Where living in your contentedness,
Where you shall Love and savour my kiss.
But, I'm afraid for you and yours,
The time is here to hold and to pause.

The leaves shall stop falling,
The river seizes to flow,
The birds stop calling,
The wind will never blow,

With eyelid shut and static chest,
With nothing to rest so nothing left,
With all things dying, with nowhere to send,
With nowhere to go, where all things end.

Sneaking up behind you!
Invisible through your very last tear,
That ghostly tap on your shoulder,
That shiver out of the blue so clear.

While ice cracked beneath your feet,
I pity the day when you & I may meet,
For the time I held up your bony weight,
I did fail and watched you fall through fate.

Your time has come too real for sure,
If you thought it was bad now, it was worse before,
For those that begin to want it so nice,
All you are left with is the great, the wonderful cunt splice of life!

Jason

(C) JPT 2009

"My Cycling For December 2008"

2009-01-09T23:40:00.003Z

Richmond Park on Boxing Day 2008.

Mmmm, slightly better than that of last months cycling. Much better weather too, albeit very cold and icy! The trail up in the hills have been Lovely and dry, mostly on account of them being absolutely frozen solid! It's great though to be out in such cold weather and very refreshing. And at the time of writing this (January 9th 2009) it is still ultra cold out and absolutely every puddle or pond or lake is totally frozen! You'd think that it'd be quite slippery on the bike but it is in fact quite the opposite. My tyres are very good indeed in the ice. They are Maxxis Medusa 2.10 if you're interested.
My joints on the other hand are still the same as usual. Lots of pain most of the time! I'm taking far too many painkillers at the mo and am doing something about it. I've already cut the amount taken per day (always only just before bedtime) down by two in the last few days and hope to continue that until I reach a respectable amount.

Christmas was ok (Christmas dinner was wonderful, thanks Mum:), although a fair few people have had colds and I am afraid I will never be quite myself whilst around colds and flu etc! Even if I am cured of HIV I don't think I shall ever change. I'm fed up with feeling ill (and the prospect of becoming ill) and I will do anything I can (within reason) to prevent anything spreading to me. Unfortunately, I failed to do just that only recently when I had the runniest nose that you have ever seen, over the new year period! It even prevented me from going out for a new years day ride, I was that snotty! Plus I had some sort of chest thing going on too during that rather snotty time, but all seems to be well again now:)

And check out my total mileage from all of last year! Only 2218.88 miles! Not many really compared to 2007 when I did 3600 miles. I'm still having fun which is the main thing, right? Painful, but fun:)

See you all next month:)

Wednesday 3rd December 2008 @ 19:25, HH, PH, Lee, Ian, 11.71 miles, av 5.6, max 25.1 mph, 2hrs 4mins, very cold with no wind, temp minus 4, clear & icy, Lee got a puncture at the top of Holmbury Hill. Total 2092.51 miles.

Sunday 7th December 2008 @ 14:25, RP, 21.63 miles, av 11.2, max 26.6 mph, 1hr 55mins, clear skies, icy cold, no wind, no lights!, temp 5 (felt more like minus 2! Total 2114.14 miles.

Sunday 14th December 2008 @ 16:30, RP & popped round to my mums to stick some Christmas lights up in her tree in the front garden, 21.99 miles, av 11.4, max 24.9 mph, 1hr 55mins, cold and breezy, dry. Total 2136.13 miles.

Wednesday 17th December 2008 @ 18:50, BP, RP, Lee, 17.62 miles, av 11.1, max 24.4 mph, 1hr 35mins, dry, cool, saw an owl. Total 2153.75 miles.

Saturday 20th December 2008 @ 18:30, RP, 18.53 miles, av 12.3, max 23.4 mph, 1hr 30mins, temp 9, wind 12. Total 2172.28 miles.

Wednesday 23rd December 2008 @ 19:40, HH, Lee, Lee locked his car keys in his car in the car park so we cut our ride short to get his spare ones, 7.4 miles, av 6.4, max 18.1 mph, 1hr 1min, mild, dry, temp 9, no wind. Total 2179.32 miles.

Saturday 26th December 2008 @ 13:30-16:00pm, RP, 27.04 miles, av 11.3, max 29.6 mph, 2hrs 23mins, cold, very sunny, met a running Sophie part way round and chatted til we reached her car...also bumped into Andy on his bike, Temp 3. Total 2206.36 miles.

Tuesday 29th December 2008 @ 21:00, RP, 12.52 miles, av 11.3, max 22.8 mph, 1hr 6mins, bloody cold, right ankle hurt, saw an owl, dry, temp minus 3, wind 4. Total 2218.88 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2009

"New Post Coming Soon...I Promise"

2009-01-04T00:54:00.000Z

Holmbury St Mary today (Saturday)

Just to let you'all know that I haven't done with my blog (yet) and will stick a new year post up in the next week or so. It seems my creativeness has cut it's wrists a little too deeply and with a knife that was perhaps a little too sharp and has I am afraid bled to sodding death!

Watch this space followers of mine blog:)

Jae:)

"My Cycling for November 2008"

2008-12-09T12:24:00.001Z

Me pretending to be a ghost in Richmond Park on November 16th 2008.

Just five rides in November! Is that due to the weather, the fact that it's cold? Or because my ankle joints said no? Or because I just can't be bothered? I blame it on a bit of each. Things should...will get better!

Sunday 2nd November 2008 @ 15:00pm, RP, 18.77 miles, av 11.7, max 28 mph, 1hr 36mins, cool and dry. Met Ian and his wife and kid in Pembrokeshire Lodge car park briefly during a walk. Total 2016.63 miles.

Tuesday 11th November 2008 @ 15:20pm, RP, 18.27 miles, av 12.1, max 26.9 mph, 1hr 30mins, dry and cool. Total 2034.90 miles.

Sunday 16th November 2008 @ 16:45pm, RPx2, 25.74 miles, av 12.6, max 25.8 mph, 2hrs 2mins, temp 5, wind 3. Total 2060.64 miles.

Thursday 19th November 2008 @ 20:20pm, LH, 8.4 miles, Ian, James, Paul, Nick and Andy, av 6.3, max 18 mph, 1hr 25 mins, very muddy but clear and dry, cold. Total 2068.68 miles.

Sunday 23rd November 2008 @ 14:30pm, HH, PH, Ian, 12.12 miles, av 6.4, max 19.6 mph, 1hr 52 mins, very wet and muddy under tyre, sunny and cold, snow had fallen that morning. Total 2080.80 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........Total 2080.80 miles (up to the end of November)

"Under The Glow Of Blood"

2008-11-27T21:33:00.003Z

My blood. Just like yours? I hope not!

I think this might be the first time that I have ever really acknowledged World Aids Day, even though I have had HIV since the early to mid eighties when I inadvertently injected syringe after syringe of contaminated blood into my young veins to treat my haemophilia. First time for everything I suppose?
I have known since 1987 when my doctors thought it best to let me know when I reached 16. They knew in 1985 when my blood tested positive for HIV. Looking back, I'll never forget the two or so years that they kept quiet. I could have infected anyone! I wasn't on any medication for those two years and my viral load would have been in the millions. After a few drug trials in 87 I started my HIV drugs properly a few years later. I have been very lucky in that I have not had one HIV induced problem in all the time that I have had HIV. I have been very strict with my drugs and most importantly, I have looked after myself and tried to keep as healthy as possible. It isn't easy and sometimes I wonder why I bother! But, I am well and healthy and my viral load is undetectable as a result of my HIV medications. I wish I hadn't caught it at such a young age. There is no doubt that my life has been irreversibly affected by learning such horrific news at such a young age. I wish I was normal!
Oh well, things could be worse. I could be dead like so many others, some that I knew personally.

Whatever you do on December 1st 2008 (World AIDS Day) just make sure you remember the boys and girls, men and women that have already died as a result of HIV & AIDS.

For more information on World Aids Day visit;
http://www.worldaidsday.org/

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.

"My Galaxy Far, Far Away..."

2008-11-18T15:30:00.001Z

By Jason age 9. January 4th 1980.

One nine year old boy, a recently acquired electronic typewriter and an imagination that wants out! Out of this world and into a galaxy far, far away. It may or may not happen one day, but whatever my destination on this far from perfect planet, I shall make it into a place or time where dreams and nightmares alike shall come true and make me a happy little boy.

"Star Wars"

My best film is The Empire Strikes Back. And I will show you all the people. There are Luke Skywalker and Han Solo and R2-D2 and C3-P0 and there is the Sand People and the Stormtroopers and Darth Vader, Chewbacca. Princess Leia Organa. And the Bounty Hunter and Jawa and R5-D4 and Snaggietooth and Power-Droid and Green Greedo and Hammerhead, Walrus Man and Ben Kenobi, Death Squad and Security Guard and FX-7 and Imperial Stormtrooper and Lando Calrissian, Bossk, Rebel Soldier, Droid Factory and the Imperial Troop Transporter and I have got a Twin-Pod Cloud Car and a Landspeeder and I have got a Star Wars game and I have got a toy monster and I am going to get some other spaceship and i am going to get some more Star Wars men and there are the Tie Fighter. You can get them in a shop called Kiddie City and I am going to go and see it at the pictures in Twickenham and my best man in Star Wars is the little man called Jawa and the Stormtrooper and they all have a gun each and there are 10 new Star Wars men and there are 20 old men and the ages are up to 4 and over and are there are 7 robots and there are 15 men and women and there are 8 monsters. All of them put together makes 30 and I was going to see it but I saw it at Marks. He has got a video. He has got over 41 tapes you can tape it on.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for October 2008"

2008-11-09T22:32:00.003Z

Cold, in the dark & alone in Richmond Park during October 2008.

October seemed to be a quiet month for cycling with just a few trips to the hills and most trips to Richmond Park on my own, where I even managed to get a ticking off for speeding along the Tamsin Trail by a fellow mountain biker...who also happened to be a police officer...on duty! He said that the speed limit of ten mph on the trail was there to prevent me from running over ladies pushing prams and getting tangled up with dogs on 50ft leads. I wasn't going to argue as he does have a point. But, just for your information, I would never ride uncontrollably fast past anyone else on the trail. I think this is the reason that he let me go, because there wasn't anyone else around except him.

Anyway, what I think also made it a more seemingly quiet month was the fact that a rotten tooth that has been playing up for a while now decided to develop one infection and abscess after the other and in the end I was left with only one option; to have the offending tooth pulled out. Which I did. You'd be surprised by just how much a painful tooth can affect your ability to stay sane and want to go out riding on a bike! I am so glad to have had the thing gone! Even if the dentist nearly did paralyze the left side of my face by injecting too much numbing juice!

Oh, and the weather has gotten colder and (as we go into November) wetter too and I have a new car which I don't have a roof rack for nor a boot liner, and don't want to get it all mucky just yet;)

See you next month...

Thursday 2nd October 2008 @ 17:00pm, RP, 18.46 miles, av 11.8, max 27.1 mph, 1hr 34mins, cool, sunny, windy. Total 1884.34 miles.

Thursday 9th October 2008 @ 15:00pm, RPx2 and a third, 26.19 miles, av 12.3, max 27.8 mph, 2hrs 7mins, sunny and mild. Total 1910.53 miles.

Friday 10th October 2008 @ 17:15pm, LH, Lee, Matt, 9.26 miles, av 8.1, max 31.4 mph, 1hr 8mins, clear, cool, sunny, temp 17. Total 1919.79 miles.

Monday 13th October 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 21.77 miles, av 12.4, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 45mins, cool, bit of rain, got told to slow down by a policeman on a mountain bike! Total 1941.56 miles.

Friday 17th October 2008 @ 17:10pm, SF, Lee, 12.11 miles, av 8, max 29.7 mph, 1hr 30mins, dry and cold. Total 1953.67 miles.

Sunday 19th October 2008 @ 6pm, RP, 17.20 miles, av 12.3, max 25 mph, 1hr 24mins, dry, cool, dark, temp 14, wind 15. Total 1970.87 miles.

Friday 24th October 2008 @ 19:18pm, HH, PH, Lee, 12.38 miles, av 6.8, max 20.5 mph, 1hr 48mins, cold and damp, temp 1. Total 1983.25.

Tuesday 28th October 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 14.61 miles, av 11.4, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 17mins, very cold & windy, temp 2. Total 1997.86 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........Total 1997.86 miles (to the end of October)

"The Drowning Man"

2008-10-27T18:09:00.001Z

He waits alone, he watches for her, She comes, they die together...

So, there I was sitting in my front room right by the window. It was late afternoon, maybe closer to early evening. The sky was getting dark from a moody cloud covering that didn't just spell death, but called it out and forced it down inside your ears. It gently hammered down through the last remaining light and pressed upon my very soul! I had the window open slightly and nakedly cowered just behind the net curtains that were still hanging there from the previous tenant. She had died not long before I moved in. I think she was old.
The radiator was on and I could hear the hot water flowing through it. The heat from it made me feel a little better and less likely to close the window and hide inside the hallway where there were no windows.
I thought maybe there was a storm coming. The kind that you sometimes hear about on the news. The kind that flood streets and wash away cars. The kind that kill! The clouds, although heavy and dark didn't seem to shed anything remotely wet, yet.
I continued to look out the gap in the net curtain and out onto the path that runs along the side of my front room. Beyond the path, past a very thin strip of dirt directly below where I sat and some small bushes and directly opposite my window was a slightly wider strip of uncut grass and then a wood fence about 4ft high. And beyond even that was a garden full of recently cut grass where a large house sat. Next to the house was a tall tree. The house had been converted into flats and hardly anyone used the garden anymore. I thought what a waist of time cutting the grass in the first place.
The path below my window onto the world turned at a ninety degree angle about ten feet from my window and continued all the way to the main road, which still wasn't a very big road, but was big enough for this part of town.
I often sat here looking out the window, hoping to see something interesting. Maybe a fox scrounging for food to take back to her litter. Or perhaps a lone hedgehog struggling with a back full of dried leaves. Quite often you would see numerous slugs squirming across the path, especially just after rain. Their trails from the previous storm were still evident and although fading, criss crossed the concrete path. At the end of one of the trails was a small dried shriveled lump. It was the remains of a slug that had either died from natural causes, been trodden on or maybe the sun came out and baked him alive as he made his way back to his nest behind the flowerpots that were near the communal entrance into the flats. I didn't think the sun was particularly hot for this time of year. When we get any, that is! So, maybe it was trodden on. I try my hardest to avoid anything like that when I walk along the paths around my flat. I have mistakenly crushed a snail when I have come back home in the dark! That popping wet crunch of the snails shell exploding under my foot makes me feel sick! At least if one treads on a slug it doesn't make a sound.
As I thought of all the snails and slugs my right knee had rested slightly onto the red hot radiator and made me jump! I rubbed it with the palm of my hand until it felt better. All the while I looked out the window. I thought I could hear rain drops on the leaves that clung to the small bush just below the window ledge. The closer I looked, the more I was certain that it was beginning to rain. Then I heard footsteps approaching along the path from the main road. It was a womans footsteps and sounded as if she was running. I let the net curtain fall back into it's original position and let her pass by without seeing me. She had a black skirt and white blouse on with a pair of shiny leather shoes. She had no umbrella and the white of her blouse showed several spots of rain that had soaked into the thin fabric and reached the tanned skin of her flesh. She soon disappeared as she entered the communal doorway and into the flats. By the time I had pulled back the curtain again the rain was falling much harder. So hard in fact that the force of the rain onto the ground blew up a bit of a wind which brushed across my face as I peered out into the darkening gloom.
The path was beginning to resemble a small river. Each rain drop blasting into the concrete, dissolving the last of the snail trails once and for all. The house opposite had all but disappeared behind a thick screen of falling water. I could hear nothing but the sound of water droplets the size of Deer shit pounding across the land that stretched out before me. Some of which had inevitably splashed up from the window ledge and spattered my face with cold water. I let it run down my cheek and neck and onto my chest. It felt fresh and invigorating. The whole idea of the town where I lived becoming flooded was very exciting.
Soon the water had completely covered the path and all of the grass and was halfway up the wood fence that separated the now invisible big house from my flat. The rain kept falling and didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon! The small bush that was more or less level with my window ledge seemed angry at the watery pummeling that it was experiencing. It looked sad and listless where before it had looked full of life and sprightly. The water below my window would eventually reach the top of the bush and drown it along with all the lawns of grass and any other non swimming or flying animal you care to name. The death toll tonight would be tremendous! And all I could...wanted to do was sit here in the comfort of my living room and watch it all happen.

Then, as suddenly as the rain had started, it abruptly come to an end. The rising water had at last stopped and the first thing that I noticed was the silence! There were hardly any sounds to be heard, except for a few drips of rain that slid from the leaves of the tree by the house. The wind had stopped and there was absolutely no sign of anyone or anything at all. I thought this strange as there must be thousands of creatures drowning all around me! I thought maybe I would have witnessed at least one animal try to save its self from a very short life of deadly cold water and scramble up the bark of the nearby tree. The water had almost reached the bottom of my window frame. I dunked my fingers into it and felt its icy wetness. I leant over a little to see if I could see the bottom. I could not. The bush was now completely submerged. The water was deep enough to render the water a darkish green colour. It looked quite eerie. Even more so as the waters surface leveled out into an almost mill pond stillness. After a few moments more, I sat as still as I could. Trying to take in all that was happening. The sky, now empty of rain had turned a dark green, almost mirroring the colour of the water. I checked just inside my window down below my scorching radiator to see if there was any water leaking through. I couldn't see any. It was a strange feeling looking out the window at the water. Just a few more inches higher and it would have started to pour into my front room!
Then, as I sat watching and listening I noticed a disturbance under the waters surface around the corner where the path would have continued to the road. I thought maybe it was a fish that had escaped one of the rivers that flowed nearby. With it's back almost breaking the surface, it, what ever it was, was swimming towards me. As it got closer I began to think that it wasn't a fish at all but maybe a large animal that was reluctant to come to the surface. But how could it hold it's breath for so long? I moved my face closer to the open window and rested my elbows onto the window ledge to get a better view. It was almost under my window now and still hadn't broken through the waters surface. What ever it was, it was of a very similar colour to the water. I could sense it's bulk below the surface as it seemed to serenely toss and turn until finally it stopped right under where my face was. I was frozen in place and all I could do was stare into the water to see what the hell it was that was down there! I held my breath and clenched my fists and waited!
Then, all of a sudden something broke the waters surface and the strange swimming creature emerged from the greenish liquid. I couldn't believe my eyes! At first I thought it was a child's ball that had floated up to the surface, but then quickly realized that it was indeed a head! A womans head! Her face was just inches away from mine and she looked directly into my eyes. I was instantly mesmerized by her eerie watery stare. Her mouth was shut. She must have been breathing through her nostrils, but i couldn't see any signs of air either escaping nor entering her nose. She had surfaced so absolutely silently and with no watery sounds or splashes that I thought I must be going deaf. Her mouth stayed shut and she said nothing. Her skin was as smooth as silk and had a slight green tint in it as if she had been swimming in this water for a lifetime!
As I sat there staring into her big round eyes one of her hands broke through the surface just next to her and she began to raise her small delicate hand to my face. The skin of her hand and arm was as smooth as her face. Her arms were bare and the tops of her shoulders bare also. She must had been naked. I couldn't see her breasts, as they stayed just below the waters surface. Her hand reached my face and her long slim fingers gently touched my cheek. I could feel she was cold and wet as she ran her fingertips down my face and onto my neck and shoulder. I could feel a million goosebumps erupt all over my body at once! I just sat there wondering what on earth she might do next! I was willing to let her do anything she wanted. I wanted for her to reach right inside my window and take hold of me and stroke my naked flesh all over. I wanter to take her in my arms and hold her so tight! I wanted us to become one.
She eventually reached down as far as my naked waist. Cool water dripped down from her fingers and trickled down my body onto my thighs. Then, just as quickly as she had leant in and placed her hands and arms around my body, she pulled me through the window and we both slipped into the dark cold water, where my shins scraped on the hard corners of the window ledge which made me wince and take in a deep breath of water! With her arms still tightly entwined around my waist she continued to take me down into the water! The darkness and the cold filled me from top to bottom. I let myself fall unconscious. I new I would be safe with her!

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"Machines to Die By"

2008-10-18T17:19:00.002+01:00

Watch them tiny metal spiders or else they will get you and eat you all up!

There was once a land, where the new born trails and yet to be discovered paths were all brand new, untouched and utterly virgin, not just to me but to everyone and everything. The ground that made up these lands, the dirt, the soil, the rotten vegetation and the like, kept things all nice and neat. Lovely and pleasant. Keeping the roots that shot out over thousands of years across the land, just under the surface, where they should be. Safe and sound, warm and cosy. Winding their way through the eon long buried stones, rocks and other hidden treasures like long dead sheep, cows and even a pheasant or two. Penetrating their pointed wooden tendrils straight through the surface of the rich fertile land at times. Making a maze out of the earth, lifting up on occasion areas of vegetation and in others, dragging them down, pulling them into the earth. Smothering, strangling them of their last rotting breath.
Cutting their way through these lands are various other things, animals of all kinds, more often than not though the leather clad feet of humans, who bought along their machines over a million years ago. Machines to help with their progress through these wood laden lands. Machines to make life easy, to make things more comfortable, perhaps even more exhilarating. Machines to test ones skills. Machines to make a living. Machines to sow and machines to reap. Machines to push fence posts into the flesh of the earth. To separate one land from another with mile long strips of rusty wire. Where tiny metal spiders cling. Their sharp teeth ready to catch discarded banana skins, lost plastic bags, wool from sheep, cloth and skin from humans.
I was born in this land of machines. I am there now, living in amongst all the earth and all the rotting vegetation. I am knee deep in it all and getting deeper and it feels wonderful. I can feel myself growing. Feeding off the death of the land. Me and my machine will be here for a while. Even after I have died and rotted into the earth, I shall still be here. As far as I am concerned, I have always been here and I always will be.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"The Pig & The Spider"

2008-10-09T23:40:00.003+01:00

Too good for Spiders, but not good enough for Pigs!

A weather girl on the TV was explaining what the weather was going to be for the next day. She was quite attractive and dressed smartly. But as the weather forecast went on she seemed to become ill and started to hyper-ventilate! She found she couldn't breathe very well and started choking and she nearly fell over and looked very pale! She stayed in front of the camera and moved about in front of the weather screen trying not to fall over and looking for someone to come and help her. She looked panic stricken. A man came into view who was quickly buckling his belt up and suddenly noticed he was on camera and on live tv and his face went bright red and he looked away instantly. He helped the woman to sit down. The odd thing that I remember quite well was that all the while this was happening, the camera followed the weather girl and then the man too when he arrived, about the studio as they moved around. The man's fingers were covered in something wet. His fingers left damp patches on her clothes as he placed her into a chair. A clearish, sticky substance. The woman, who was now sitting and breathing deeply from her choking, noticed that the man's zipper down the front of his trousers were open and covered in damp patches and drips of the same substance that I noticed on the his fingers.

After a few moments, the weather girl had recovered enough to realize what had happened. And just as she went to confront the man, he placed an index finger up to his lips and very quietly gestured to her to be quiet.

She closed her eyes and began to sob...

I was waiting for a friend and his brother. Their mother strictly spoke to them in as if they were children. They were in another room, perhaps the bedroom. I sat in the room adjacent to the room they were in and was sat low down at one end of a very comfortable sofa. I was beginning to fall asleep over the sounds of the argument next door. I tried to keep my eyes from closing and concentrated on the far corner of the room where there was a man facing the wall.
He used to live there and harass the mother of the boys years ago and wore a jet black bomber jacket and looked exactly like a pig!
When I arrived a little while earlier, passing through the tiny drive, it was sunny and warm. There was an old car in the process of being restored but still looked just like a pile of junk ready for the scrapheap.
Back in the living room the pig man that was facing the wall had moved to one side and I could now see what the man was doing there. In front of him was a giant, hand sized spider with very muscular legs and a pulsating body! It was clinging to it's web which was stretched from one wall to the other and this pig man was teasing it and eventually grabbed it's web with the spider still attached and started to swing it into my face. I screamed like a girl and covered my eyes. The two boys who had been in the next room came running into the room that I was in to see what all the noise was about. The pig man then proceeded to swing the spider into the faces of my friend and his brother too. We all ran away flinching and screaming.
We ran so fast and so far away that we eventually ended up running straight into a very swollen river which was thick with silt and semi submerged branches. The under current was very strong and I could see just how strong by the fast flow of the river and the churning water bubbling it's way to the surface like giant airless bubbles of filthy dark water. The sun reflected off the surface showing all the movement on the waters thin skin. I was trying to navigate my way across it and back to the saftey of land. I had lost sight of my companions and found myself sink beneath the cold, dark water and came to rest on the stony bottom where I proceeded to roll and bounce along the river bed until all my breath had gone, where I just let myself die.

Jason

P.s. Happy Birthday Jac:)xxx

(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for September 2008"

2008-10-04T12:33:00.004+01:00

Looking out over the South East of England from the very top of Pitch Hill in Surrey on September 26th 2008.

Thats it, the summer is well and truly over with and the winter is waiting just around the corner with her icy claws! September wasn't too bad as it goes. It was quite similar to August (but without the falling off;) But having just reached October (at the time of writing this) the cold cold wallop of the winter is just around the corner! There have been some wonderful clear skies recently and beautiful sunsets, but with the clear skies come the cold. Looks like I'll be getting out the full winter cycling gear in no time! I'm kinda looking forward to the cold. It's a Lovely, refreshing feeling when you get those clear, crisp nights up in the Surrey Hills when all the roots and grass are covered with frost. Not so good though when it's raining! But I think we are in for a very cold winter this year and hopefully lots of yummy snow too:)

I managed to stay on my bike the whole time during September, which was nice. Although I did have a near miss going up the Telegraph Row on Holmbury Hill when I bottomed out on a root with my pedal and I landed on the pointy part of my saddle with my Coxis with all my weight!! Ouch!! But at least I stayed on the bike. My thigh injury from August wasn't quite healed going into September but soon felt normal. As for my other joints, my ankles were more ok than not, although they do hurt all the time but alternate between feeling really bad and vulnerable and feeling really strong. The same can't be said for my right elbow though. It always starts off ok but towards the middle/end of the ride it feels awful! I even find that I can't pull the front brake lever because of the pain! And the pain in my right knee that I was experiencing the last month or so seems to have gone away thank goodness.

See you all next month:)

Tuesday 2nd September 2008 @ 19:30pm, SF, Lee, 11.96 miles, av 8, max 23.1 mph, 1hr 29mins, mild, very muddy, some spittle, thigh seemed ok, tyres worked well. Total 1694.57 miles.

Saturday 6th September 2008 @ 18:30pm, RP, 20.08 miles, av 12.1, max 22.1 mph, 1hr 39mins, rained pretty much the whole time, dark & mild. temp 15, wind 11. Total 1714.65 miles.

Tuesday 9th September 2008 @ 19:20pm, RP, 17.98 miles, av 12.4, max 24.4 mph, 1hr 27mins, spat for 10mins halfway around, mild & breezy, saw six toads, temp 17, wind 12. Total 1732.63 miles.

Friday 12th September 2008 @ 16:50pm, RPx2 & a third, 26.05 miles, av 12.6, max 27.8 mph, 2hrs 35mins, sunny, rainy, sunny, cool & breezy. Total 1758.68 miles.

Sunday 14th September 2008 @ 14:00pm, HH, PH, 13.99 miles, av 7.4, max 22.3 mph, 1hr 52mins, sunny, mild. Total 1772.67 miles.

Tuesday 16th September 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, HH, PH, 11.93 miles, av 7.8, max 23 mph, 1hr 31mins, temp 14. Total 1784.60 miles.

Sunday 21st September 2008 @ 14:50pm, SF, Lee, 14.78 miles, av 9, max 24 mph, 1hr 46mins, very warm & sunny, dry, temp 19. Total 1799.38 miles.

Wednesday 24th September 2008 @ 17:00pm, RPx2 & a third, 28.03 miles, av 12.2, max 26.3 mph, 2hrs 17mins, damp after rain, dry on Tamsin Trail, cool. Total 1827.41 miles.

Friday 26th September 2008 @ 17:00pm, HH, PH, Matt, Lee, 12.58 miles, av 7.5, max 24, 1hr 40mins, cool & very sunny, great sunset, dry and fast. Total 1839.99 miles.

Sunday 28th September 2008 @ 15:15pm (back at 19:20pm), Ian, Westcott to Box Hill to meet Mike & Graham and back again, 19.18 miles, av 7.7, max 25.3 mph, 2hrs 28mins, temp 17-14, wind 8. Total 1859.17.

Monday 29th September 2008 @ 12pm + 17pm, Car had it's MOT (and passed), 6.71 miles, av 11.3, max 22.8 mph, 35 mins, windy and sunny. Total 1865.88 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........1865.88 miles (to end of September)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part four)

2008-09-27T23:22:00.002+01:00

I am the one that waits by the end of your bed whilst you sleep. I wait until you notice me standing there in all my grotesque beauty! I shall wait forever for you!

"Part Four"

As I stepped out from the hot but glorious cabin of Rob's boat, I noticed Beechams look up from his silent, sun induced sleep and turn around to see us.

I thought Rob said his dog was deaf? I said to Neil.

He is deaf, he can feel us through the vibrations of us walking on the deck, said Neil as we walked side by side to the shop. It is only about one minutes walk away. All the people that own boats in the marina shop there. We passed their very nice looking boats along the way, but none as cool as Robs boat.
After jokingly looking at all the beers and spirits on sale we opted for several cans of Shandy Bass "British style lemonade mixed with the world renowned Bass Beer" it said on the side of the can. The fridge they came from was very cold and hummed steadily like a little twin prop plane a mile up in the sky at three in the morning. Along with the shandy, we also grabbed a couple of packets of Wine Gums. On our way to the cashier I took a quick look up at the top shelf of the magazine section. The dirty mags displayed there looked promising, like a bottomless bag of sweets or a big box of colourful fireworks. I thought how much I would like a pile of those under my bed for later on when I was alone. The one thousand butterflies in my tummy felt as though they were all holding hands and kissing. Erections came and went like the 281 bus in those days! It didn't take much either. The sound of a womans high heel shoes clicking along the pavement and I was there peeping through the curtains to see. The underwear section in my mum's catalogue was my favourite section, not the bikes nor the toys.

Neil soon dragged me away from the magazines and we made our way to the man behind the till. He was Indian and wore a turban on his head. After we bought our stuff we made a b-line for the exit thinking that we had just bought real alcoholic drinks. In fact, it had only 0.05% alcohol in it but that didn't stop us from gulping the stuff down with great speed, as funny as it seems we really honestly began to feel more and more drunk by the second. It was a great feeling as we ran back, frothy shandy spilling down our suntanned knuckles and down onto the sun scorched concrete of the ground. We skipped back like a couple of little girls, burping like mad and enjoying every second of it.

But before we made our way back to Robs, we went for a little walk to Radnor Gardens which was right by the shop. It is a kind of fenced grassy area wedged between the main road and the River Thames, used mostly for fishing, taking your dog to shit and where old people could play lawn bowls and get bitten by red ants! There was also a playground for kids and a sort of old concrete gazebo thing where heroin addicts would go to eat their sweets.
Also in one overgrown and well hidden corner, by the road, was a man-hole cover where, if you lifted it up and crawled down inside, you could creep along the pitch black tunnels that stretched under the main road to Twickenham and Popes Grotto. We had been down there before with only a box of matches and an old newspaper for light and only had the courage to get to the first corner after spotting a strange man hiding down there in the dark, before running back the way we came at record speed and scrambling back out of the hole back into the safety of daylight. We scared each other even more by convincing ourselves that he wasn't a man at all, nor even human, who would wait for small vulnerable but ultra curious children to walk into his lair where he would grab you, undress you and cover your mouth with a strip of smelly, dirty old rag and then hang you up on rusty old meat hooks that were screwed into the dark damp walls of the tunnel like trophies. Sometimes he would sit you up by his side whilst he held a match close to your naked trembling body and stare at you! And when he'd finished with you he would cut you up into tiny little bits and at midnight would climb out of his hole and feed you to the ducks in the Thames! We didn't go in there too many times!
As we walked along the foot path right next to the rivers edge, we came across a fisherman sat by the steep sided bank. The concentration smeared across his face was almost as still as the float that was attached to the end of his line. He jumped and quickly looked around at us, almost breaking his neck as Neil said to him, Oi mister! Caught anything good?
No, not yet!, said the fisherman, as he looked back at his dead still, bright orange tipped float. Just a maggot. he sarcastically went on to say.
Alright Grandad, keep your fucking hair on! Neil burped back as he grabbed me by the arm and said Come on! lets leave the old bugger to play with his maggots.

With our bellies full of shandy and our gobs stuffed with Wine Gums we bloatedly walked back to the magnificent torpedo boat.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"Too Small Watery Room"

2008-09-18T13:41:00.000+01:00

I am here, more than that I do not know.

Wow-weee! If I was minuscule enough, I'd Love to swim in that there rain droplet:)

Imagine that!!!!!! spoke the softest, sweetest voice I had ever heard!

I did, I did. I excitedly replied.

And, as I was in that there rain droplet, everyone looked like those cute dogs with the little bodies, big heads and even bigger noses. It was like looking into the back of a highly polished giant silver spoon! It was utterly amazing! Only when someone took time to come and visit me, that is. Because most of the time I would be alone, but happy in the knowledge that someone would be along to witness such a spectacle. Of course, I didn't mind spending most of the day and night all on my own. I Loved every moment of my isolations. It gave me time to think of all that had gone before me and all that might come. I could also make out the other rain droplets attached to the same leaf as mine and they were all empty! I couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing that I was the only one occupying one of these numerous land based cloud fragments. In the end, my little, and infrequent visits from my gigantic deformed friends and family stopped. I felt so alone all of a sudden and trapped! There was absolutely no escape. The walls of my watery sphere were so thick and strong, only a man with much more strength than I might succeed in making good a run to freedom. I wouldn't have got far, even if I had been able to escape. I was literally miles up in the air. With an endless space before me, full of all kinds of dangerous creatures and hazzards, all I wanted was to be back in my liquid lair, only for me to want to get out again lest a slug slithered across on his slippery tummy and drank my little minuscule home, along with me too! I wouldn't have lasted long in there anyway. I suppose a tiny droplet of water such as mine would only last a little while before it evaporated into thin air leaving me wriggling like a fish out of water on the rough surface of my new leafy home, only for me to quickly dry up into a little minuscule crispy version of myself. One by one the other rain droplets would ever so discreetly and invisibly hiss back into the sky from whence they came. I'd be totally naked too. I mean, you wouldn't want to swim in your clothes would you? My skin would very rapidly stretch tight across the thin fragile skelington of my withered, dried, sun scorched body. If I wasn't in so much pain, I'd be able to hear my skin as it cracked and split across the more pointy sections of my once beautiful physique. Anyone listening, even right up close, would not hear a thing as I slowly but inevitably disappeared completely. Unless of course I was eaten first by that hungry slug or greedy snail. Which wouldn't be so unlikely, because I remember seeing tens of the things at any one time, especially just after rain, and even more so their pearlescent trails criss-crossing the garden, before I ended up in this place. I thought it was going to be wonderful in here. I thought that I could live out the rest of my days inside this droplet, watching the world go by as I did so. I thought this was my new living place. I thought this was my new room to dream in. I wanted to die peacefully in here, but I can't even do that. My new home will be no more long before I die. My space is not mine. It never has been, nor will it ever be!

Jason

Special thanks to Shelley Skinner for the use of her wonderful photo taken in her garden in Margate on the 11th September 2008.

(C) JPT 2008

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part three)

2008-09-09T23:40:00.003+01:00

All action takes place, so to speak, in a kind of twilight, which like a fog or moonlight, often tends to make things seem grotesque and larger than they really are.

"Part Three"

Was this torpedo boat in the war? I asked, as I tried to look past the bus driver and into the kitchen to see where Neil had got to, but found myself strangely drawn to his eyes.
Oh yes Jason, it most certainly was, he said smiling. Although there are no torpedoes on her anymore. I still use her to sail across to the French coast and pick up cheap alcohol on occasion.
I didn't know whether he was smiling about the trips to France or maybe because he was pleased to have two young boys inside his spectacular boat? But he didn't take his eyes off me the whole time. I could see the tiny red veins inside the yellowing whites of his eyes, we were that close to each other. I imagined he was a smoker, although I could see no ashtrays or smell anything.
I knew all too well the signs of a smoker as my dad smoked and although he didn't seem to have yellowing eyes like Rob, he did have dark brown stains on the fingers of his left hand. As he held his roll-ups the grey white smoke would seep out in a steady stream and pass over the skin of his fingers and eventually turn them brown. They reminded me of burnt sausages!
Wow! I said while trying to step back a little. France is miles away, I thought. Although nothing was physically stopping me, I couldn't move an inch and breathing a silent sigh of relief as I saw Neil come back in from the kitchen holding a single cup of tea. I could see the steam rising up from the top of the cup. He handed it to his friend Rob and then asked him where his partner was.
Oh, yes, he isn't here at the moment. It's just the three of us and Beechams, He is on the buses all afternoon. he said.
Beechams was the name of his deaf Dalmatian dog who was lying outside on the deck of the boat enjoying the wonderful sunshine.
As Rob took hold of the boiling hot drink around the thin china sides of the liquid heavy cup he grimaced from the pain he felt from the intense heat and rapidly grabbed the handle that Neil had let go of. I noticed the hand that had been burned was down by his side, his fingers rubbing against each other to calm the pain.
MMmmm, Lovely cuppa Neil, as always. Aren't you and Jason going to have one? he said, looking at me as he supped the hot brown liquid.
I looked at Neil to see what he was going to say. I certainly didn't want a hot drink. A cup of tea on a hot summers day is just mental, I thought! I knew Neil pretty well and reckoned on him not wanting one either. I looked at Rob to make sure he had looked away before looking at Neil again and nodding towards outside, whilst pretend wiping sweat from my forehead and blowing air up the front of my face. I was hot, but I wasn't sweating. Neil used to sweat quite a lot in those days. I often wondered when I would sweat like that. Although he was just a year older than me, I saw him as a Man and was in awe of his ability to be able to produce such manly things as spunk and sweat. He even had pubic hair around his cock!

No thanks Rob, said Neil. We fancy a cold drink actually. I don't see any in the fridge...

Before Neil could finish, Rob had set down his steaming cuppa on the side and had his wallet in his hand. He was leafing through his money.

Hey! Why don't you guys pop around to the shops and get yourselves whatever you want? Said Rob as he eventually handed us a brand new crisp ten pound note. He handed it to Neil, who said thank you and stuffed it into his pocket without even looking at it. I hadn't seen too many ten pound notes in my life. Just the ones that I would occasionally see my Mum and Dad handle in doors. None of them as brand new as this one. The ones I had seen before were normally very tatty and covered in numbers written in biro and felt tip pen. I wished how much I had been handed the note. I would probably have made a fool of myself by just staring at it and feeling it, taking in that strange but rather enticing smell too! I would try and get to hold it once we were outside and on our way to the tiny row of shops by the entrance to the marina.

Thanks Rob, we'll just pop down to the shops then, we won't be long.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for August 2008"

2008-09-02T13:05:00.001+01:00

Swinley Forest, Berkshire, August 22nd.

If last month's cycling (July) was hampered by the dreaded lurgee, then August was a month of dreaded falls! Lee had a silly fall and cut his shin...we even had bets as to wether the blood would reach his sock by the time we got back to the car park. It didn't, and I won:) After all, I know a little about blood;)
Phil fell off during his sponsored bike ride in the Highlands of Scotland and walloped his hip and I had two falls, the first of which where I inadvertently kicked my bike with my right shin (the bump of which is still there today!) when I failed to reach the top of a small but steep climb and went over backwards to the bottom and the second fall last Tuesday when I had to put my foot down to steady myself up some tricky roots and somehow managed to fall over right onto my left thigh right onto a root! The worst place really as it is the biggest muscle and is quite important for cycling. I am still feeling the result of the fall exactly one week later but think I am ready for another ride tonight to see if it is ok. Having to cycle back to the car didn't help either and I couldn't help laugh when I discovered on my trip computer the mileage:- 6.66 miles!!!! Fortunately, none of the falls were serious and we all lived to ride another day:)

The weather was ok though and a fair few rides were, er, ridden;) I have some new tyres (Maxxis Medusa 2.1) and a new bottom bracket after I had a failure halfway around Swinley Forest. The dent in my frame (Elvis) hasn't gotten any worse, which is nice. I keep expecting it to break as I'm hurtling down one of the many descents that we encounter. That'll be an interesting ride, that's for sure;)

And sometimes cycling buddy Matthew Moulding finally completed his off-road sponsored mountain bike ride from John O Groats to Lands End on the 25th August. It'll be nice to ride with him again soon and hear all about it. Fancy a blast in the Surrey Hills dude? You can read all about his ride by visiting his website at http://bloodsweatandtyres.blogspot.com/ where you can still donate and help raise money for The Haemophilia Society.

And as for my joints (damaged or otherwise) they have been up and down regarding pain. My right knee seems to have settled down after I thought it was going the same way as both my ankles and right elbow. Maybe it still will, but for the moment anyway, it has behaved well during the last few rides. My right ankle on the other hand has been a right pain in the arse as has my right elbow. Nothing new there really, it just prevents me from cycling as fast or as hard as I know I can! Besides all that, I am however feeling very fit and healthy and cycling is by far the best way for any haemophiliac to help keep those joints from seizing up. Keep them moving and build that muscle up around those joints and you'll last for years. Yes, you will be in a lot of pain at times (try every single day) but it's worth it...mostly;)

See you all next month:)

Friday 1st August 2008 @ 16:20pm, Lee, Matt, Swinley Forest (SF), 14.15 miles, av 8.2, max 24.6 mph, warm & breezy, bottom bracket seized up!, 1hr 43mins. Total 1486.09 miles.

Sunday 3rd August 2008 @ 16:30pm, RPx2 and a third, 30.34 miles, av 14.1, max 27.7 mph, 2hrs 9mins, first half dry and sunny & cool then rain and wind, temp 20, wind 14, Dessert Storm, right knee was ok but right arm hurt. Total 1516.43 miles.

Tuesday 5th August 2008 @ 18:50pm, RPx2 and a third, 25.59 miles, av 14.2, max 28.8 mph, 1hr 48mins, mild, breezy, tiny bit of rain, knee hurt a bit the whole way around, temp 25. Total 1542.02 miles.

Friday 8th August 2008 @ 16:20pm, Lee, Matt, HH, PH, 14.60 miles, av 7.6, max 21.1 mph, 1hr 55mins, right after downpour and was very wet and muddy under tyre, warm & sunny during ride, temp 18. Total 1556.62 miles.

Sunday 10th August (happy birthday Lee:), 2008 @ 20:25pm, RP, 18.02 miles, av 12.3, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 28mins, cool, dusk/dark, damp, temp 17, wind 13. Total 1575.64 miles.

Tuesday 12th August 2008 @ 19:40pm, Lee, SF, 11.74 miles, av 7, max 24.4 mph, 1hr 39mins, very muddy from recent rain, dusk/dark, cool, I fell off near the sandy cutting when I didn't make it to the top of a steep slope and fell backwards hitting my right shin on my bike as I went!, I also managed to hurt my other leg and my right ankle was hurting a lot before I even started!, spotted a little mouse and an ugly toad too:) Total 1586.38 miles.

Thursday 14th August 2008 @ 17:50pm, RP, 18.22 miles, av 13.1, max 26.2 mph, 1hr 23mins, mild, sunny, damp after rain, saw Jac & her mum in Kingston on their way to see Mama Mia at the cinema. Total 1604.60 miles.

Friday 15th August 2008 @ 18:50pm, BP, RP, Lee, 17.10 miles, av 13.3, max 27.9 mph, 1hr 17mins, cool, sunny, Dessert Storm, right knee hurt a bit, temp 19, wind 11. Total 1621.70 miles.

Sunday 17th August 2008 @ 13:00pm, HH, LH, Phil, 13.53 miles, av 7.6, max 28.9 mph, 1hr 47mins, mild, dry, very busy with other mountain bikers, Phil's first ride since Scotland ride with Matthew. Total 1635.23 miles.

Tuesday 19th August 2008 @ 19:40pm, SF, Lee, 12.05 miles, av 8.4, max 18.9 mph, 1hr 25mins, rain at first then sunset and then dark, muddy, wet but very good ride, ankle and knee felt great!, right elbow lock into bent position at the end and didn't unlock itself until I had bath 2hrs later!, temp 19. Total 1647.28 miles.

Friday 22nd August 2008 @ 16:20pm, SF, Lee, 15.02 miles, av 8.3, max 20.2 mph, 1hr 47mins, sunny, mild, sunset, Lee fell off doing a silly wheelie and cut his shin!, temp 20. Total 1662.30 miles.

Sunday 24th August 2008 @ 13:20pm, HH, PH, Lee, Phil, Stuart Howe, 13.65 miles, av 7.9, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 44mins, sunny, muddy after rain, warm, temp 21, Phil didn't feel too well at the start but soon got back into things after a nice hot steak & kidney pie and a cup of tea from Peaslake Village Store, we saw Dunsfold Wings & Wheels airshow from the tops of Holmbury & Pitch Hills. Total 1675.95 miles.

Tuesday 26th August 2008 @ 19:40pm, SF, Lee, 6.66 miles!, av 8.4, max 19.7 mph, 47mins, dry and warm new Maxxis Medusa tyres, I fell off riding up some roots in the dark and put my foot down funny and went over onto the roots on my left thigh!!!! I am still recovering as I type this (Tuesday 2nd Sept) but hope to get out later for the first time since to see how it has healed, temp 20. Total 1682.61 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........1682.61 miles (to end of August)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part two)

2008-08-27T16:38:00.009+01:00

Slowly, I turn to stone and set upon you as a long lost anchor might in the sands of our vast empty oceans. My face is a blur as I encase you with my Love and never ever let you go!

"Part Two"

This is Rob, The owner of this fine looking boat, said Neil.

The boat was indeed a fine boat! All shiny, where there was brass. And beautiful bright paint that covered the rest of her. Well hidden from the river Thames proper. One couldn't see her if you were to find yourself passing by on a leisure boat or maybe if you were taking a stroll along the tow-path across the other side of the river.

I just looked at the ground and went all shy. I was a very shy person and would always look at the ground when confronted with new people. When I was very young and my Mum had visitors in the house, they would think there was something wrong with me! Why doesn't he talk? Can he talk? What does he do there hidden away between the wall and the sofa?
I couldn't move. If I moved so much as an inch then my presence would be detected and my cover would be blown! I would then have to say hello or even worse sit on someones lap or have my cheek squeezed or god forbid, kissed! I was good at keeping still. I don't need a solid wall to Hide behind.
In fact, I would on occasion go back to my hiding place there behind the sofa when I was all alone and play with matches! I used to Love playing with fire! I still do.

This was a man who I admired already though! He was the owner of an actual WW2 torpedo boat and to top it all off, he was a fucking bus driver too! I have caught a few buses in my pre-car years and I would either be found up stairs on the top deck, right at the front sitting right over where the driver would be. I would look down into the little glass window that the driver would use to see if someone was being murdered or was smoking up on the top deck or drawing on the windows. I could just make out the face of the driver through the numerous prisms and mirrors that joined up the two windows. And if I wasn't upstairs, I would be down stairs actually watching the bus driver with my very own eyes. Especially his arms and hands steering the giant bright red machine around the tight narrow streets of Twickenham. It always amazes me how they get those things around those tight little corners. I imagined I would be a fantastic bus driver!

Come in, come in, said Rob the bus driver, as Neil & I both stepped onto the deck of the boat. Make yourselves at home.

Yeah right, I thought. I'll go up to my room and have a wank shall I?

I could never make myself at home in a strange mans house, let alone a strange mans boat! What if it floated away downstream and ended up in the middle of the ocean! As I looked at the floor I did manage to see that the brass that was so magnificently displayed on the outside of the boat had also exquisitely crept into the cabin area too. Amongst all the brightly polished brass and various post cards from all over the world that were neatly displayed on the shelves and sort of Dashboard area, were a whole bunch of circular glass dials about five inches across set in beautiful frames of more brass. I didn't ask, but I presumed that these were the dials that told the Skipper how fast or how slow he was going. The rest of the room looked dark in comparison. Almost black. Coming inside from the bright sunshine made everything apart from the brass quite difficult to see.
Neil had gone off into the kitchen area, I could tell it was a kitchen because I heard a kettle switch on and start boiling and the sound of metal tea spoons clinking against china. I just kept looking between the floor & the brass and saw Rob had shuffled over to my side and asked me what I thought.
I said that it was quite impressive. As my eyes got used to the light change I saw that he was not wearing any shoes but still had his socks on that were white. His trousers were the distinctive light grey colour of a bus drivers uniform. He said, Impressive only?, it takes hours of elbow grease to keep that brass as shiny as that.
I eventually looked up from the dark coloured carpet, polished brass in my peripherals and up along his legs, past his belted waist to his face. He was jacketless and just had a crisp white shirt on, just like the kind a bus driver would wear, although I had seen some of them wearing grey shirts. I always thought the white ones much better.
His hair was grey and neatly cut, his chin covered in a whitish prickly stubble, which reminded me of my dad.

So this is what bus drivers looked like when they weren't driving buses I thought.

To be continued...

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for July 2008"

2008-08-18T10:26:00.000+01:00

Phil & I near Holmbury St Mary, Surrey, 13th July.

Well, as you learned in my last cycling post, I came down with the lurgee which lasted most of the second half of July but that didn't stop me from getting out there on my bike with a bit of a chest infection! I even think it helps to clear it if you can get out and work those lungs a bit. So thats what I did. And besides, I was positively going mad having not ridden my bike for a total of 10 days in a row!!!

The rest of July saw me out a few more times between going to a music festival and school reunion with an old friend:) It seemed to take me ages to recover fully and get back into the swing of things where cycling was concerned. I even managed to dent my frame (Elvis) when I nearly came a cropper down a particularly technical rooty section of single track in Swinley Forest. I was momentarily distracted for a split second and almost went over the handlebars, but instead managed to step off to the side as there was a steep bank there, but unfortunately it was covered in roots that my bike fell on. The dent is only small and won't effect the strength of the tube, which is good:)

As I write this (sort of mid August) the weather has been alright I suppose, so far. I should have been taking part in a sponsored bike ride in aid of the Haemophilia Society but have thought long and hard about it and decided to knock it on the head. Mainly because my right knee hasn't been feeling quite right the last month or so and the mileage involved and the unpredictability of the terrain I thought it better to not take any unnecessary risks! I'll talk more about the sponsored ride in next months post, by which time Matthew Moulding (ride organizer & lead rider) will have finished his amazing 1200 mile off-road adventure.

Congratulations to Phil by the way for doing his bit (the first week) in a midgey infested Scottish Highlands! I saw the evidence just last Sunday when we rode Holmbury & Leith Hills together. His legs are absolutely covered in midgey bites still!!!!

See you all next time:)

Tuesday 1st July 2008 @ 16:00pm, RP, 16.54 miles, av 14.3, max 28.5 mph, 1h 9mins, during my ride I came across a mountain bike lying on the road in Kingston by the bridge and a skip lorry, all of which was cordoned off by police tape and being photographed by police photographers! There had been an accident where the cyclist was knocked off by the lorry and the bike was bent like a banana! Apparently, it wasn't all that serious. I found the incident in the local paper the following week and the cyclist escaped with only a minor leg injury!! Lucky fucker or what!!! Temp 27. Total 1373.68 miles.

Friday 4th July 2008 @ 17:00pm, SF, Lee Ian, 16.84 miles, av 9.3, max 21.3 mph, 1hr 39mins, dry, warm, temp 19. Total 1390.52 miles.

Tuesday 8th July 2008 @ 18:00pm, 12.85 miles, RP, av 13.9, max 26.1 mph, 55mins, mild, windy. Total 1403.37 miles.

Sunday 13th July 2008 @ 13:00pm, HH, LH, Phil, 21.10 miles, av 8, max 38.8 mph, 2hrs 37mins, warm, sunny. Right knee didn't quite feel right! Developed a rotten cold & chest infection the next day! Total 1424.47 miles.

Thursday 24th July 2008 @ 14:00pm, Jac, RP, 21.26 miles, av 11.5, max 27.4 mph, 1hr 51mins, temp 28, wind 11, very hot, still had cold & cough and knee playing up (right)! Good to get out though! Total 1445.73 miles.

Sunday 27th July 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, HH, PH, 11.82 miles, av 7.9, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 29mins, very warm, temp 25 (30 during the day), right knee hurt again! Total 1457.55 miles.

Tuesday 29th July 2008 @ 20:00pm, Lee, SF, 14.39 miles, av 8.4, max 21 mph, 1hr 42 mins, warm, right knee hurt after 10 miles, used lights for the first time since winter. Total 1471.94 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........1471.94 miles (to end of July)

"The Bus Driver's Knee" (part one)

2008-08-09T00:09:00.001+01:00

Come, child. Come sit on my knee!

"Part One"

What's it going to be then, eh?

They were the words that were left floating around my empty mind!

I can't decide, I thought to myself. You decide for gods sake, decide!, I said out loud.

Well, I know this bloke who owns this WWII torpedo boat. He lives with another man down by the marina next to Radnor Gdns and he says I can come round and see it anytime I want, he's well generous and said he might even take me up the river in it.

What, near where the old bags play bowls?

Yeah, thats the place, You wanna go?

Fuck Yeah!

Well that was enough for me! We were halfway through our Summer school holidays and bored shitless. I had know idea how Neil new this man with the torpedo boat, but how on earth could I turn down an offer such as this. I couldn't wait to see it. It certainly beat setting fire to railway embankments and spying on homeless weirdos who live in secret tunnels under the roads of Twickenham. Not to mention the hours wasted talking about American custom cars, reading BMX magazines, talking about kissing girls, tits and wanking.

I found out the owner of the torpedo boat was called Rob and he was a bus driver. He always wore his grey uniform. The man that lived with him, I didn't know his name, was never there when Rob was in. Just Rob and his Dalmatian dog, who was as deaf as a post.
The first time I saw that boat I was speechless! It was immaculate! The brass that covered the boats wonderfully preserved surfaces, inside and out, were always polished and although it didn't have any torpedoes anymore, it did have a history in that it used to ferry supplies over to the French coast for the men fighting in the Second World War. I have always Loved battleship grey. It reminds me of the ocean. I could only stand in wonderment as to the sorts of magnificent ships that this tiny little boat had chugged between. The sun was high in the sky and made a b-line straight for the shimmering brass fixtures & fittings.

I was very young at the time, maybe about 9 or so. Neil was a year older than I, but much more mature and unlike me, he could already produce something called Spunk from his penis. He once showed me a polaroid of his Mums boyfriend. He had an erection in it! I never looked at the man in the same way again! I was quite jealous that Neil was able to do this kind of stuff. He also showed me what this spunk looked like once whilst he was showing me his penis. He had an erection, bigger it seemed than mine would ever be, and pulled his foreskin back, something else I couldn't do! He pointed to this tiny amount of white stuff that resembled cotton fluff around the edge of what he called his German helmet. I was amazed at what I saw and wondered when I would see some of my very own. Much later on, about three or four years, I came to realize that it was in fact cotton fluff from his pants that he was showing me and not spunk at all! Real spunk was, still is a wonderful substance that if it were humanly possible one would continuously spray it over anything and everything, including oneself! I never saw my German helmet until I was circumcised some 20 years later! I wasn't allowed one because of my bleeding disorder! Of all the many trips to hospital over the years, I often found myself wondering if my foreskin would ever grace the inside of one of those 'Hospital Waste! For Incineration Only' skips outside the back of the hospital. And then, when I finally did have it cut away, I imagined what a thousand foreskins might look like all in a single pile, with mine flopped on the top like someones discarded chewing gum.

Thats all we did back in those days. Talked about erections, spunk, cocks, girls and wanking and listening on his record player to the sounds of drag cars screeching their way up the rubber scorched, twin black strips of Santa Pod's 1/4 mile stretch on a flimsy 7" record that he'd gotten free with an old copy of Custom Car magazine.
But a trip to see Neil's new friend Rob and his amazing torpedo boat seemed like a wonderful idea. Something different. Something to boast about when we eventually went back to school later on that year.

To be continued...

Jason

P.s. Happy Birthday to my best mate Lee tomorrow:)

(C) JPT 2008.........

"Demolished Are The Stars"

2008-07-27T23:40:00.006+01:00

And we all fall in!

The center of it all, the darkness where I fall,
See how the core is built.
The mantle is where I sleep away, where morning doesn't call,
See how the crust is built.
The oceans boil for me to see, the light that says no to me,
See how the Earth is built.
The air that rushes in, to push out any breath so thin,
See how the sky is built.
The darkness comes flooding back, theres nothing there, just black,
No one is building stars anymore!

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for June 2008"

2008-07-18T13:50:00.003+01:00

Hiding from the ghouls & ghosts of Friday The Thirteenth!

Is it or is it not that our summer this year is already over and done with? If it is over, then June seemed to be it! July has been average weather wise. Nothing like what we all expected thats for sure! There have been a few good days so far in July, but not as many as June had. The singletrack trails up in The Surrey Hills have never been so dry and fast since the end of last summer! Oh well, maybe the end of July will incinerate us all and laugh in our scabby, sizzling sunburnt faces whilst brightly shouting "You couldn't bloody wait, could you!" & "Here, have some fucking sunshine, enough to last you a lifetime!".

Plus, July (so far) seems to be the month of germs and colds, with everyone passing their beloved lurgee onto the person next to them etc etc. It's my turn at the moment, and everyone that I know too has had it already! I may very well be the last to get it out of everyone, so, does this mean that I am the strongest or does it mean that I am the best at hiding from the dreaded lurgee? Either way, I have it now...who wants it after me? Anyone? Anyone?

Sunday 1st June 2008 @ 16:00pm, RPx2, 24.03miles, av 13.6, max 29.1mph, 1hr 46mins, warm , no wind, temp 21, wind 6. Total 1178.90 miles.

Thursday 5th June 2008 @ 13:00pm, RPx2, 25.62 miles, av 12.8, max 29 mph, 2hrs, hot, temp 21, wind 3. Total 1204.52 miles.

Friday 6th June 2008 @ 17:00pm, Lee, Matt, HH, PH, HH, 13.02miles, av 7.8, max 24.8 mph, 1hr 40mins, temp 18, wind 4. Total 1217.54 miles.

Sunday 8th June 2008 @ 13:00pm, Lee, Phil, HH, LH, HH, 20.74miles, av 8.3, max 33.2 mph, 2hrs 29mins, hot, sunny, temp 25, wind 9. Total 1238.28 miles.

Friday 13th June @ 19:00pm, Lee, Mike, Ian, Matt, HH, PH, HH, 14.52 miles, av 7.5, max 27.7 mph, 1hr 56mins, mild, temp 17. Total 1252.80 miles.

Sunday 15th June @ 13:00pm, Marble Hill Park & RP, 15.29 miles, av 12.9, max 28.1 mph, 1hr 11mins, warm, windy, temp 18, wind 10. Total 1268.09 miles.

Monday 16th June 2008 @ 19:00pm, Swinley Forest, Lee, Ian, 17.18miles, av 8.1, max 29.4 mph, 2hrs 7mins, mild, tiny bit of rain, very good ride, mostly new trails (yellow brick rd), temp 17, right arm sore! Total 1285.27 miles.

Sunday 22nd June 2008 @ 13:00pm, Phil, HH, PH, LH, 21.68 miles, av 8.1, max 27.9 mph, 2hrs 40mins, temp 21, sunny, windy, Phil new red pedals. Total 1306.95 miles.

Thursday 26th June 2008 @ 15:00pm, RP, 23.51miles, av 14.2, max 26.5 mph, 1hr 39mins, sunny, windy, warm, new road tyres on Dessert Storm, very fast! Total 1330.46 miles.

Saturday 28th June 2008 @ 15:00pm onwards, Bon Jovi concert at Twick Rugby Ground & Mums, 10.49 miles, av 13.6, max 23.9 mph, 46mins, warm, windy, Dessert Storm. Total 1340.95 miles.

Sunday 29th June 2008 @ 19:45pm, Lee, 16.19 miles, SF, av 8.2, max 19.8 mph, 1hr 58mins, warm & dry. Total 1357.14 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........Total 1340.95 miles (up to June 28th)

"The Ninth Breath"

2008-07-09T23:40:00.003+01:00

A bleeding moon in a blackened night sky that even death cannot escape!

It was the Ninth breath breathing I hear,
The ninth night goes on and on, the night of the tear,
Hiding behind smoked, dark glassy eyes,
Crashing through zebras as this time of day dies,
No one can see, but the blood, it is falling,
The damage is done, the distance is calling,
Deadly quiet, loud torment,
Isn't crying hell sent,
Crying is beautiful, crying is sad,
There's no end to this agony, no smile to be had,
One hundred miles to our open wound,
Stitches wide to swallow the moon,
I try to bring you back in my night time,
You find your way back to me, I miss you, what a crime,
Still breathing the ninth, my baby is here,
I can feel her crying, she's so near,
How is it done, she's so far away,
In exactly the same place, she saves me another day,
Almost over, this place thats so right,
Back home to my dreaming place, saved for the night.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"He Buzzes like a Fridge"

2008-06-27T23:40:00.006+01:00

Mister Yorke doing everything but disappearing completely in a park in London last Wednesday.

The big black cat pushed home
holding half her bloody wardrobe
proceeded to stick it in his aching back
and to all his fellow humans
he said "don't even fucking go there!"
I stood with whom I liked, see
she looked me up and down
but I threw her with my eyes!

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

I stood in the middle
and shuffled round in the heat
they were cheering and waving
pointing and smoking and drinking
singing and dancing like with drunken Meerkats
but it got heated, fucked up
colourful, squashed up
used as a stepping stone to York
buried in a burning back in London

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

Don’t know why I walked away to find the back of the queue!

My reason was safe and a little needed
I stretched and I hobbled like with those drunken Meerkats
you should put me in a hole or you should put me up a tree
I got drunk
We got drunk, see

No one Loves a retarded arse but we all Love our rock & roll stars
this wasn't her infection, I did it for me
I must have got it from years of being
strangled, beaten up and drowned in the sea
I got drunk
We got drunk, You & Me

And now I don't know how
I feel like a slaughtered cow!

Jason

P.s. Happy Birthday to Manf tomorrow:)xxx

(C) JPT 2008

"Freeze Dried Vagina's"

2008-06-18T23:22:00.003+01:00

What do I use to eat it? An old fashioned spoon or just my tongue?

Written on April 3rd 2007 (Sexually explicit)

"Freeze Dried Vagina's"

The low hum of the refrigerator was strangely soothing to me as I stood in front of the giant luminous monstrosity. The kind you might find at the back of a small high street newsagents or petrol station, where the ready made sandwiches, chilled drinks & pork pies are normally found. My feet were pointing directly towards the fridge, which was of the open kind that didn't have any doors, and from my peripheral vision, I could see that the rest of the room, wether selling petrol or not, was in total darkness. From a distance it must have looked as if I was walking straight into the pearly gates of heaven. A silhouetted figure surrounded by a bright light of unimaginable pleasures. They wouldn't be too far off the mark either, as on the very top shelf, inside this giant glowing cool box, just a little higher than my eye line, were a small line of what at first glance looked like pots of yoghurt, all different kinds of fruits & flavours in varying degrees of bright fluorescent colours. They certainly stood out from the rest of the boring, drab looking and totally unappetizing range of products elsewhere inside the fridge. I was intrigued and wanted to get a little closer. I shuffled forwards a little until my toes bumped into the metal strip that surrounded the base of the fridge. As my toes made contact with the metal, the hum that had been steadily thrumming from the machine changed tone and became quieter. My hands were in their pockets, fingering the loose change that had accumulated there over the last few days. As my eyes began to focus on the pots, I was amazed and more than a little excited as to what I thought I could see!
For there before me, in amongst everything else, were a line of clear plastic pots each sealed with a thin tin foil lid. In each of the pots contained a perfectly clear jelly like substance. And in each of which suspended a perfectly sized and perfectly detailed human vagina. Each one slightly different to the one next to it, and each one neatly trimmed or completely hairless. Some were completely naked and others were covered with a tiny strip of brightly coloured fabric that resembled part of a panty. These jelly suspended freeze dried vagina's looked so delicate and perfect in every way. Their pink skin tones varied from pot to pot as my eyes scanned the line. One was rather quite pale and completely shaved, another seemed to be slightly tanned and had a small amount of pubic hair. Some were very little and others showing absolutely everything, with nothing at all left to the imagination. Whichever one I decided to look at, I just could not decide which one that I wanted. If indeed I should take one at all!

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"My Cycling for May 2008"

2008-06-09T11:25:00.001+01:00

Who's a silly boy eh?

What's this? Another boring "My Cycling" post? You guessed it. As you can see, I cycled about a bit in Richmond Park (where invisible non-bike users keep moving small to medium sized logs around the trail just to piss off the mountain bikers!)...now, if they really want us to stop riding there, they should either set up little land mines everywhere that are only activated when there is a mountain bike in close proximity, or place large to massive sized logs in the way that can't be moved! Silly non-bike people! When will they learn eh?
And also, I have been cycling about a bit up in the Surrey Hills too. Leith, Holmbury & Pitch to be exact. Even here (where all the hills were built especially for us mountain bikers...& horses of course:) have there small to medium sized log placeage problems! There are some non-bike users up there who (when us mountain bikers are at school;) cut down the trees in the woods that our single track winds through and leave all the rubbish bits behind all over the track!! The other day we were there, we couldn't even see where the trail went!! Whats going on? And, the woods smell of diesel oil that has been leaking from the monstrous machines that the non-bike user people use to chop down their precious trees! Could this be the beginning of the end for mountain biking up in the Surrey Hills? At least we didn't come across any dangerous land mines!! I've already had two punctures in a week!!

See you next month my non-walking, non-log putting, non-diesel dripping people...& horses of course:)

Friday 2nd May 2008 @ 19:00, RPx2, Ian, Mike, 30.51 miles, av 11.8, max 28.2 mph, 2hrs 34mins, dry, cool, dusk then dark, spotted one badger, Temp 10, wind 5. Total 1001.95 miles.

Sunday 4th May 2008 @ 20:10, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.08 miles, av 7.6, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 26mins, very warm, dry with a bit of rain, dark, temp 18, wind 6. Total 1013.03 miles.

Tuesday 6th May 2008 @ 20:10, SF, Lee, James, Paul, Stef, 9.68 miles, av 7.5, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 17mins, very warm and dry, cut my left shin, temp 17. Total 1022.71 miles.

Friday 9th May 2008 @ 20:09, Lee, HH, PH, LL. 11.32 miles, av 7.9, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 26mins, temp 17, wind 3. Total 1034.03 miles.

Sunday 11th May 2008 @ 13:00, RP, BP, 20.46 miles, av 13.1, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 33mins, very hot and quite breezy, It was Horse Chestnut Parade in BP this afternoon, so I stopped by there during my ride and lay in the sun with my niece Daisy and my Mum, then Tarn, Naif & Millie came along too, my ankles were very painful and hurt like hell all night!!! Temp 26, wind 13. Total 1054.49 miles.

Tuesday 13th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RP, 14.39 miles, av 14.3, max 30 mph, 1hr, sunny & warm. Total 1068.88 miles.

Friday 16th May 2008 @ 20:00pm, HH, PH, HH, Lee, 11.95 miles, av 8.3, max 28.8 mph, 1hr 26mins, cool, dry, wind 5, temp 13. Total 1080.83 miles.

Monday 19th May 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 25.52 miles, av 14.3, max 28.2 mph, 1hr 47mins, cool, cloudy, windy. Total 1106.35 miles.

Friday 23rd May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 18.51 miles, av 14, max 28 mph, 1hr 19mins, warm, dusk, dry, temp 18, wind 14. Total 1124.86 miles.

Tuesday 27th May 2008 @ 18:00pm, RPx2, Lee, 30.01 miles, av 12.9, max 27.1 mph, 2hrs 19mins, humid, dusk, mild. Total 1154.87 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........1124.86 miles.

"Maggot Vending Machine"

2008-05-27T22:50:00.000+01:00

I am just a machine that needs feeding, and my waste becomes bitter at times!

I wrote this back in Feb/March 2007. Not sure what I was thinking really. I never posted it because I thought it might come across a little nasty. It just came out one afternoon. I certainly don't feel like this now as I have moved on from feeling that way. Ok, some things still remain in my head. Although, unfortunately I don't think it would take much for me to feel that way again. There are certain things in place right now that weren't there before. I kind of have those now to prevent me from getting all dark.

Anyway, I had this feeling that I wanted, needed to post this now, otherwise I may never post it. And besides, I need it out there. I need to share this. I want rid of it!!!

Maybe letting you see it will help me get it out of my head. Let go the part of me that thinks this way sometimes. Bad things that are inside me. Letting them go and letting you have a little and together maybe we can put it away...for good!

It is, I must warn you, rather quite nasty in places! But, surely, this kind of stuff is better out than in?

Enjoy:)

"Maggot Vending Machine"

I feel it, like everyone does. I feel it just as much as the next person.
Along it comes, tapping on the thin, fragile glass of my mind, starts to scratch when there is no answer, no reaction. I'm hiding see.
He mustn't be allowed to get away with this farce! We need to bring him down!
Just as he brings me down, to his level, he is one selfish man!
Relentless picking and fingering, trying to get in. They always get in on occasions.
Come along, try and make me feel like shit why don't you! Come on in and give it your best shot. I'm waiting for you.
Why don't you stay a while eh? Why don't you make me your home? Live inside of me?
What are you afraid of? Where do you go when you're not here inside of me?
Where have you been all this time, all my life, all our lives?
I'm not afraid of you! Not anymore! NOT ANY MORE!
Or are you already here, always having been here, waiting with your long, hole-ready fingers?
Pressing in...slowly does it. Easing in right up to the knuckle, like a grub, cosy in it's rotten, hollowed out branch. Eager to fill me up, over flow! Split me wide open for all to see!
Waiting just inside the fragile window of my mind all along. Watching for a gap, a small opening, the tiniest of slits.
Ready all along, to come scraping. Gathering up it's nourishment under the sharpest of nails.
I feel it going on, but I just try and ignore it. Years of practice or years of ignorance?
Years of blindness perhaps, years of total and utter disrespect for life, all life. My life!

I feel it, like I am now. I feel it, just as you are all doing so, right now.
Hiding as a single pathetic rain drop in the vast grey skies of our world, the littlest of ulcers underneath the bottom of my hot, wet, vein streaked, blood filled tongue.
The dullest throb of a toothache, the constant thrum of pain in any given joint, at any given time.
Popping pills left right and center, pushing fake blood into my arms, into my heart, into my soul.
I remember the good old days when it was all 'Real' blood and full of life and sustenance.
Brimming over with promises of running through tall blades of grass, jumping for joy with it all.
But it wasn't like that, not really was it! Just an old stained bucket of rusty coloured water mixed with other things...other not so nice things!
The blood from child killers, rapists and just good old fashioned murderers & maybe the odd thief too. After all, I do feel stolen at times, raped at others and often murdered! Murdered of my childhood, my innocence!
I couldn't care less these days, seriously. But what else did I manage to 'inherit' from these life giving angels?
I got worms moved in for one thing I reckon. Not in my arse, nor in the soil beneath my wreckage, but in my head, my brain.
Filling my skull with years of sweat & froth, from boring into the deepest, darkest abysses of my thoughts.
I can barely feel their squirming, their incestuous wriggling down deep to fall asleep.
Like one giant slushy orgy...warm, pleasant and forever appreciated.
But, do I realize what is happening? Can I feel a god damn thing? Fuck no!
These things are all part of my everyday existence and from these I have been rendered brain dead.
I can't think straight most of the time. I jump to conclusions. I don't listen. I can't think at all some of the time!
I am always right and I am never wrong. I don't care about you! I don't care about your neighbour!
I can barely find the cells anymore to care or think about myself! I'm on auto-pilot. I do what I do in order to out fucking live all of you! Every last one of you pathetic little cunts!!

Part of the truth of the matter is, I am nearly always wrong! My opinions are next to bloody useless!
I don't think before I speak and I never speak directly after a thought. And I almost always invariably speak far too soon, without even thinking! Mental I know! And makes no sense at all!
I seem to care nothing for the pain of others, do nothing to help others who might need it.
They can jolly well get on with it, just as I do! You'll get no help from me my friend! If you can't figure it out for yourself then you're dead already.
What a pathetic carry on, this acting, this front, this cover-up? Is this really me? I don't rightly know.
There isn't a hole shallow enough to keep me from falling into the bottom of.
Or is it just the rain. All rain is grey, no? Or is it just the dull pain of living. All pain is grey, yes?
Life is made of grey matter is it not? Look in between the colours and you will find several shades of grey.
I don't really know how I feel or where I am going. Where I may have just been, or what may be just around the corner. Just how long I have left, or even how long I have had already.
I just know that I do feel and that I am moving, to where, is anyones guess.
I just hope to goodness that it is in more or less the right direction. For otherwise I feel I may end up in the wrong place and forever regret not just living my life with the attitude of thinking Fuck it...just do it!

I feel lost sometimes.

I fear I am loosing something with everyday that I manage to stay alive.

Without certain anchors and beautiful deep sea oceans to drop them into...I'd be dead already!

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"The Sea Above, The Eye Below"

2008-05-18T16:02:00.003+01:00

See how everything looks Lovely? Especially you?

I fell into your eyes baby and what did I see?
You opened your eyes and dove with me
Came held your breath with me and saw
Us swim through the coral, baby, up onto the shore
Through heavens & hells
Baby, come swim with me
Through sunbeams & sea shells, baby
Through fishes and the endless sea
Come dive with me, baby,
Come swim through the wrecks
Come swim down with me, baby
Come swim to new depths
Come swim with me and play in the sand
Come dive with me baby and let's drown hand in hand

Jason

P.s. Ian Kevin Curtis - R.I.P.

(C) JPT 2008

"My Kayaking for April 2008"

2008-05-09T23:40:00.001+01:00

All but gone! Kiss me baby!!

Just the three paddles during April. And all over, up, across at Ealing Pool. Ian keeps on at me to get a play boat, and Karol says I have 'Blue Balls'! Hey Karol, My blue balls are all yours dude:) He even tried some self defence techniques on me in the pool and almost broke my neck! I'm just happy to do hundreds of lengths up and down the pool, let Tara steal my goggles and splash her little brother;)
The weather was still pretty shit for outside paddling in April, not that that has stopped me before, but since that incident in the Mole back in March, I don't fancy the cold just yet. This month (May) is a blinder so far!! The temperature has rocketed and paddling in the Thames has become a pleasure again...despite all the midges!! But, you'll have to find out about that, the swan egg & other things next month.

Unfortunately, I don't have any photos of me kayaking (or anyone else for that matter) so you will have to make do with a pic of my left arm where I had a blood test to see what my HIV status was. They took my blood on April 8th and I was told that my HIV is still undetectable twenty days later on the 28th. Which means I am almost exactly the same as you...sort of;) Good huh!

Thursday 2nd April 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, was in a little pain tonight due to a sore wrist and neck!

Thursday 10th April 2008 @ 21:00. Ealing Pool, tested out my new underwater video camera...it was shit!,

Thursday 17th April 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, Daisy came tonight, Eoin helped her to roll a kayak.

Jason

Happy Birthday to Shelley for the 9th:) xxx

(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for April 2008"

2008-05-03T00:27:00.000+01:00

My tyre track in Richmond Park on the 6th April.

Not a bad month really (234.21 miles), considering how muddy it still is up in the Surrey Hills. The water from any rain just doesn't drain very well at the moment! Lots of muddy puddles, but everything in between is nice and fast and grippy. And Richmond Parks Tamsin Trail has almost had it's entire 7.3 mile route resurface with brand new gravel. Very gritty and sticky at the moment, hopefully it will get better as the year goes on. I think it needed it though, as some of the trail was just terrible!
This month also saw the best day so far for Lovely weather. 26th April to be precise. And what about the snow on the 6th? Wasn't that a nice surprise:) You had to get up early mind, as it was all melted away by lunchtime!! Bloody typical eh!
Joints are more or less the same as they ever are! Lots of pain...but whats new eh?

Tuesday 1st April 2008 @ 19:30pm, RPx2, Lee, Ian, Mike, Grahame, 22.41 miles, av 11.2, max 27.4 mph, 2hrs, mild, dry, left ankle hurt, Temp 10, wind 13. Total 739.30 miles.

Friday 3rd April 2008 @ 20:16, Lee, HH, PH, HH, 10.77 miles, av 6.8, max 21.7 mph, 1hr 34mins, mils, dry, clear...Lee did a stoppie right at the end of the ride and duly crashed onto the hard gravel surface of the car park!! What a wally;) 750.41 miles.

Sunday 6th April 2008 @ 09:00, RP, 16.39 miles, av 10.1, max 21.2 mph, 1hr 37mins, very cold and it was snowing:) I clipped my right arm on a car door somebody opened as I was riding to the park! Bloody hurt and got a bleed from it!! Temp 2, wind 5, also today, it was my Kona King's 1st birthday:) Total 766.80 miles.

Tuesday 8th April 2008 @ 20:20, RP, 19.69 miles, av12, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 38mins, dark, cold, dry, temp 1, wind 6. Total 786.49 miles.

Wednesday 9th April 2008 @ 21:00, Swinley Forest, Mike, 8.92 miles, av 7, max 22.2 mph, 1hr 16mins, cold, dark, clear, new moon,temp 5, wind 4. Total 795.41 miles.

Saturday 12th April 2008 @ 10:20am, Matt, James, Mike, Toni, Paul, Box Hill, Juniper Hill, Ranmoor Common, Holmbury Hill, Leith Hill, 32.81 miles, av 8.4, max 34.4 mph, 3hrs 54mins, sun, wind, rain, hail, mud!!!temp 9 to 6, wind 11. Total 838.22 miles.

Tuesday 15th April 2008 @ 12pm, 23.01 miles, RP, av 12,8, max 26.1 mph, 1hr 48mins, sunny, cool, breezy, temp 10, wind 9. Total 861.23 miles.

Thursday 17th April 2008 @ 14:00, RP, 16.77 miles, av 11.9, max 27.7 mph, 1hr 24mins, sunny, windy, cool. Total 878 miles.

Friday 18th April 2008 @ 19:45, Swinley Forest, Lee, dusk, mud, cool, windy, dry, av 7.7, max 27.6 mph, 10.59 miles, 1hr 22mins, temp 5, wind 18. Total 888.59 miles.

Sunday 20th April 2008 @ 14:15, 14.53 miles, LH, Lee, av 8.7, max 32.2 mph, 1hr 39mins, mild, sunny, breezy, few puddles, temp 16, wind 11. Total 903.12 miles.

Tuesday 22nd April 2008 @ 20:28, Lee, Mike, HH, LH, HH, 12.02 miles, av 7.1, max 21.5 mph, mild, dry, muddy too, Temp 16, wind 2. Total 915.14 miles.

Wednesday 23rd April 2008 @ 14:30, RP, 14.26 miles, av 12.9, max 25.7 mph, 1hr 6mins, sunny, breezy...right ankle hurt!! Total 929.40 miles.

Saturday 26th April 2008 @ 12:40, Phil, HH, LH, HH, 21.01 miles, av 7.6, max 31.5 mph, 2hrs 45mins, warm & sunny, muddy puddles, temp 20, wind 8, finished at 17:15pm, gorgeous sunny day...best yet this year. Total 950.41 miles.

Tuesday 29th April 2008 @ 20:15, RPx2, 21.03 miles, av 13.2, max 27 mph, 1hr 35mins, wet, cool, dusk, temp 6, wind 8. Total 971.44 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........Total 971.44 miles.

"A Special Moment in Time"

2008-04-27T00:09:00.003+01:00

Stephen Morris's (of Joy Division & New Order fame) autograph on the front cover of my NME Jan 13th 1979.

Do you know when you hear an old band for the first time properly and you wonder why on earth you hadn't discovered them much earlier? Well, that happened to me with a band called Joy Division. It was very early on in 2005 that I first heard something by them other than the brilliant "Love Will Tear us Apart". I had been listening to another band at the time called Interpol and I liked them enough for me to see who their influences were and the name Joy Division came up, so onto itunes I went and the rest as they say is history.
I was literally blown away by the sound that I heard! Peter Hooks creeping bass on "The Only Mistake", Bernard Sumner's eerily painful guitar work on the truly haunting "New Dawn Fades", Stephen Morris's simple yet highly hypnotic drumming on "Digital" and most of all Ian Curtis's ever so sad, tear soaked voice & lyrics on "Insight".
I have never, not once, looked back since I discovered Joy Division. There is nothing at all that I can fault them with. I must have heard every one of their tracks hundreds of times (some tracks more like a thousand). Even all their live performances and all their mistakes. Their music hasn't aged with time at all. It has been almost 28 years since Ian died at the tender age of 23 and Joy Division's legacy still lives on.

And I should know, as I was fortunate enough to be one of the audience at a recent press screening in London for a brand new documentary about Joy Division. It was a special Q&A screening held at the Curzon cinema, Soho where Joy Division drummer Stephen Morris was also present. He sat through the entire film with us all and directly after the film he and one of the films co-writers Jon Savage took to the front of the auditorium and sat with the chief editor for 'Time Out' and spoke about Joy Division and also took questions from the audience. Jon Savage was a high-profile writer during the glory days of British punk and wrote articles on all the major punk acts.
I didn't ask any questions, as I was busy filming the Q&A with my trusty camera and also mainly in awe of exactly whom I was spending my evening with! But I did manage to meet them both afterwards and got Stephen to sign my 1979 copy of NME (January 13th) that features Kevin Cummins famous photo of a trench coated Ian Curtis casually drawing smoke from a cigarette on the front cover. I waited patiently behind a whole bunch of other autograph hunters, including a young woman who had the CD single of "Love Will Tear Us Apart" ready for ink, and then suddenly it was my turn. I pulled the paper out from it's special protective sleeve that I had brought it in and took the cap off my permanent marker specially brought just in case and presented it before him. He smiled as he saw it and instantly asked if I was sure if I wanted him to deface such a collectible. And straight away, I said "Are you joking?, if anything, this will make it worth more." And he said "Oh, well. Fair enough." Then his wife Gillian whisked him away and that was my meeting with a real life member of Joy Division done and dusted. I still can't quite believe that it happened!
Then on my way out of the almost empty auditorium, I spotted Jon Savage running back in and I turned around and went to see if he would mind also putting his mark on my NME. As soon as I turned around, there he was again running back out with a hat on and in a bit of a hurry. I pushed the paper in front of him and kindly asked. He saw the paper and laughed as I mistakenly said that I know he worked for the NME, but when did he first start writing for them and he said that he didn't write for the NME at all. (don't believe everything you read on the internet!). He took the 29 year old paper and wrote "This Is The Enemy, Jon Savage, 24.04.08". I was very pleased!
Jon Savage wrote for, amongst others publications over the years, Sounds, The Face & Mojo. He is best known for his award winning history of The Sex Pistols and punk music, "England's Dreaming".

On my way back home to Twickenham, I blotted out the sounds of London with the sounds of Joy Division.

So, why do I Love Joy Division so much? Because I have no fucking choice!

Jason

Thanks to Phil for a one in a life time opportunity.

(C) JPT 2008.........

"Farewell to Fownes"

2008-04-18T22:05:00.013+01:00

The hand coloured poster (part of) for the special gig in Brighton on Wednesday night. I nabbed it off the pub wall (The Prince Albert, Trafalgar St), where the gig took place, on my way past a spewing Eighties Matchbox fan on my way out, only to bump into another fan pissing up the wall of someones house. Lovely!

O.I.B Records Presents...

The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster.
A Special Intimate Show... Ghoulish Horror Punk Rock Up Close & Personal.

With Scissors.
Blinding Hardcore Carnage. Think Converge & The Locust In A Fist Fight.

From the safety of my stage height bench, over looking the small, cramped, instrument strewn stage, I was only yards away from the psychobilly boys from Brighton. It was hot in there and probably even more so being nearer to the ceiling. At least I had a lone mirror ball to keep me company. I must have had the greatest view of the stage and crowd alike from where I was perched. I was well propped up on that bench for on one side I had my best friend Jac and the other the lady drummer from Breakneck Static.
Although it was Eighties Matchbox headlining, the whole evening was mainly, and understandably so, focused on a certain Mr Fownes, lead guitarist both with With Scissors and Eighties Matchbox. He has himself a new job see. Something to do with some nails of the nine inch variety. He must feel very privileged to be invited to join the American industrial rockers, who began Nine Inch Nails when Rich was just five years old!

After an interesting band (first of three) called Breakneck Static fronted by the tiniest (as in small, not tinny) and screechiest of Japanese girls, and rather cute to boot, on came Rich with his other band With Scissors. A hardcore, psychedelic, experimental (their words, not mine) band from Brighton. The red headed lead singer of which spent most of the performance screaming his lyrics in amongst the crowd. Very loud, fast and aggressive to say the least! I stood through their whole set wondering how on earth they manage to remember the tracks for each gig! Very complicated (to me anyway). You gotta see it to believe it! Awesome stuff!! Rich is one of the most animated guitarists that I have seen! You can just tell that he absolutely Loves it up there. It seems this might have been Rich's, also of Eighties Matchbox, last performance with With Scissors for some time too.

With trusty glitter ball still spinning madly and the rest of With Scissors already gone, Rich seemed to hang around alone on stage and for a while I thought he might just stay there and wait for the rest of Eighties Matchbox (his other band) to join him and begin his last ever gig with them. But after sticking up on his speaker stack the set list for his next performance, then he was gone too. They all came on together about fifteen minutes later to the sound of cheers and claps, mostly wishing Rich well. With the rest admiring Guys new haircut (when I read With Scissors on the poster stuck on the outside of the pub, I didn't think they meant literally;) and over sized, shoulder padded plaid jacket. When did he chop off all that hair? The last time I saw them was at the New Years Evil gig. He looks good though. Toms hair seems to have gone the other way as my friend Jac pointed out and as she also pointed out, as she does every time we see these guys, Marc Norris looks more and more like a Cenobite from Clive Barkers "Hellraiser". I think he'll be happy with that comparison;)

After an audience aimed, semi retarded (in a good way) 'Hellooo' from Rich, the psychobilly Brighton band began with their first track "Mister Mental" (remember Shaun of the Dead?) with that screeching, piercing intro that I absolutely Love! They continued through fifteen tracks in total (see track list below) including an encore that saw Rich walk away from the stage after an absolutely fucking rocking performance of "Presidential Wave". Quite fitting really, since he will be off to the USA soon.

Their set, as was the venue, pretty good! Excellent in fact! Downstairs is a normal pub and upstairs just a small room with a small stage and an even smaller bar. Most of the band were down in the pub when Jac & I arrived, drinking and having a smoke and everything else normal people do. Except, where was Guy? He never seems to hang around with the others and always seems to turn up last all on his oddy nocky. Probably still in the barbers ten minutes before the gig;)
The lighting on stage was fantastic too, so my camera could pick up the band. There were (as usual) a few problems with Guys mic, which meant he had to steal Rich's mic (as usual). The speaker stack next to Rich got knocked over and someone threw a plastic glass across the small crowded room and it walloped me in the neck. I didn't even blink! And for some reason, since reading the posts from Sheik-Yerbouti over on the EMBLD Forum, I was convinced there was going to be some sort of clash between the Sheik and Symren (bass). The main reason being because there was this guy in the audience who looked like it might have been him! Travis Bickle seemed like a puppy in comparison to the way this guy just stared at our band from near to the middle......just under that glitter ball! And, if I'm not mistaken, did I see a real life Gingerbread Man stage dive into the crowd? I know he's a big fan of EM and has supported them in the past (New Years Evil...I was there), so it might have been.

Anyway, there were no head butts, no more plastic cups and all seemed to finish rather well, with Guy hugging Rich just before laying into "Giant Bones" and saying thank you for everything he has done for them over the past two years. Quite a Lovely moment! And Rich even taking time to introduce his little mum who was there up at the front proudly cheering on her son. Eighties Matchbox left the room and Rich went off (I presume) to celebrate with his mother;)

So, what does this mean for the future of Eighties Matchbox? Disaster or the beginning of another new line-up with even more mental tunes, superb live shows and even shorter hair-do's, where Guy is concerned? I for one, know for a fact that I would be absolutely gutted if they split up now Rich has left. But they say that ain't happening and are already auditioning for a new lead guitarist. I really hope that they will go on to bigger and better things. I Love this band and will stick by them whatever! Since the early days when Mr Huxley was around and the last few years with Mr Fownes, I just haven't been able to get enough of them!

Thanks for a truly memorable gig guys!

Good luck with NIN Rich and good luck Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster!

Track List;

Mister Mental
I Could Be an Angle
Charge of the Guns
In The Garden
Mission From God
I Rejection
Love Turns to Hate
Under My Chin
Chicken
Man for All Seasons (Missing from my videos)
Psychosis Safari
Celebrate Your Mother
Giant Bones

Encore...

Horses Can Swim
Presidential Wave

I managed to capture most of the gig on video. Check out my Youtube link at the top right corner of this page. Unfortunately, I had to delete "Man for all Seasons" as my poxy 2gb memory card was running out! There are a couple of With Scissors tracks on there too.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"The Little Runner"

2008-04-09T23:40:00.006+01:00

The Green Box at the end of the Meadway, Twickenham today.

I tried running away but my ankles said no,
I tried sitting still but told to get up and go,
I tried to face it head on and look into it's eye,
I tried to welcome it too, but that just made me cry,

I run in my dreams and I ran in my past,
I ran all the time and so bloody well fast,
I ran from my Dad and the back of his hand,
I ran to my Mum and her arms so tanned,

The run in my park until it was dark,
The run at school whilst the others played ball,
The run to spurs then right back to earth,
The run down the stairs, from all those nightmares,

I wish I could run, just a little bit,
To the green box and back where we used to sit,
Long gone now, it had to go,
The fast turned to pain and my ankles said no!

Jason

Happy Birthday to Tania tomorrow:)

(C) JPT 2008.........795.41 miles.

"My Kayaking for March 2008"

2008-04-05T15:30:00.002+01:00

The river Thames between Twickenham and Teddington, March 31st 2008.

Kayaking is getting better now the weather has improved. Ok, I did have a little accident on the 16th, but apart from that it has been ok:) I got two new paddles to replace my lost one. One for the little wedge of orange and the other for the sea kayak. What I really want is to get down to the ocean! This month (April) will definitely see at least one trip to the sea:) Yay!!! Anyone want to join me?

Monday 3rd March 2008 @ 16:00, Twickenham St Mary's Church to Teddington Lock and back again, cold, sunny, cloudy and windy, 1hr 10mins. Dagger RPM.

Thursday 6th March 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, Ian, 90mins, Dagger RPM.

Thursday 13th March 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, very quiet tonight, Ian etc, 90mins, Dagger RPM.

Sunday 16th March 2008 @ 13:18, Ian, Lee, River Mole from the stepping Stones by Box Hill to Stoke D'abernon, I finished at about 16:30ish when I capsized! (see post dated 18th March called "Six Seconds at the Bottom of the River"), rainy, windy and cold! The water was high and fast. The stepping stones were completely submerged! Dagger RPM, Oh, and I lost my South Carolina sun hat and Andrew Ainsworth paddle:( Temp 7, wind up to 20mph!

Thursday 20th March 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, 90mins, yellow sea kayak (Dagger Edisto), tried out my new paddles and hand rolled in my sea kayak (with a small float:)

Thursday 27th March 2008 @ 21:00, Ealing Pool, Lee, 90mins, tried out new waterproof ATC-2K Actioncam...it was rubbish in the pool because it was too dark. Dagger RPM.

Monday 31st March 2008 @ 17:30, Twickenham to Teddington Lock, sunny, mild, water was fast flowing, 1hr 15mins, temp 12, wind 8.

Jason

P.s. I want my camouflaged (with SC Palmetto & Crescent Moon on the front) sun hat back:( It was a gift from USS Yorktown in Charleston, SC. If anyone lives near there, can you get me one;)

(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for March 2008"

2008-04-05T15:30:00.001+01:00

March 9th, Crowthorne Woods, Berkshire.

Cold, wet, windy, muddy! What a rubbish month where the weather was concerned! Otherwise I am well (despite feeling crap for the last two weeks of March due to an incident in a very cold and dirty river on the 16th!...see kayaking for March).

Saturday 1st March 2008 @ 14:00pm, PH, HH, Ian, Phil, Matthew, Mike @ Graham (Mikes friend), 16.12 miles, av 7.5, max 29.9 mph, 2hrs 8mins, dry, warm, windy & bright, temp 12, wind 27!, Matthew brought along his new headcam to try out. It was the first time out with Matthew for several months. Mike we met for the first time last Sunday up on Pitch Hill. Total 506.96 miles.

Tuesday 4th March 2008 @ 20:25pm, LH (58mins), Ian, Mike, Tony, 9 miles (15.72 total...see below), dark, very cold, it snowed big snow flakes down Summer Lightning and stung our faces in the wind!, av 10.4, max 22.7 mph, when I got back home I did another 6.72 miles to RP Kingston Gate and back (32mins) to see if the park was open (it was shut still for culling), I tried out my new bike light tonight (Hope Vision 4 LED) and have decided it is the dogs bollocks! temp -2, wind 10. Total 522.68 miles.

Wednesday 5th March 2008 @ 18:45, Ian, RP, 18.06 miles, av 12, max 24.3 mph, 1hr 30mins, cool, dark and dry, although at one stage I stopped in some mud and couldn't get my foot out the pedal and fell right into it! Smelly!, New light still fantastic:)
temp 6, wind 10. Total 530.74 miles.

Saturday 8th March 2008 @ 14:30, RP, 22.36 miles, av 12.6, max 27.3 mph, 1hr 46 mins, mild, spitting with rain, windy, temp 9, wind 18. Total 552.10 miles.

Sunday 9th March 2008 @ 12:40, Crowthorne Woods near Broadmoor Mental Hospital, Berkshire, Gorrick mtb Spring Race, Ian, 3xlaps (and one lap for fun during the expert race), 20.02 miles, av 8.7, max 27.7 mph, 2hrs 23mins, mens open, mild with sunny spells and a little rain, I (rider 271) came 69th out of 95 riders...not bad considering I started near to the back, The route was good and relatively dry, my lap times were 29:30 mins, 29:27 mins, 28:16 mins. I had a bit of a bleed in my right elbow later on that I had to treat and my right thigh too was knocked somewhere around the race! Temp 9, wind 10. Total 572.12 miles.

Tuesday 11th March 2008 @ 20:20, HH, PH, HH, Lee, Ian, Mike, Tony, James, Paul, 11.44 miles, av 6.3, max 19.3 mph, 1hr 48mins, dry but muddy trails, mild & windy, tonight was a good ride with seven of us. The trails were covered in fallen twigs and branches and the odd tree too due to the strong winds we have been having. Tonight also was the first time Lee has been able to come out for a while and it didn't show! He kept up all the way around. He tried his new light (Hope Vision 4 LED) tonight too and Loves it! I used my hardtail (Dessert Storm) tonight and really felt the bumps! My ankles really hurt the next two mornings! Total 583.56 miles.

Friday 14th March 2008 @ 16:00, RP, 18.72 miles, av 12.6, max 23.1 mph, 1hr 29mins, dry & mild, temp 9, wind 6. Total 602.28 miles.

Tuesday 18th March 2008 @ 19:00, Lee, BP, RP, 24.05 miles, av 11.6, max 24.05 mph, 2hrs 4mins, dry, cold, temp 4, wind 3, I didn't feel quite right after a fall in the river Mole on the 16th. Total 626.33 miles.

Friday 21st March 2008 @ 20:00, Lee, HH, PH, HH, 10.69 miles, av 6.2, max 16.2, 1hr 43mins, cold & very muddy (hence the slowness of the ride), cloudy with clear skies between, it felt much colder than what Metcheck said, temp 1, wind 16. Total 637.02 miles.

Sunday 23rd March 2008 @ 20:25, RP (road), 15.30 miles, av 12.8, max 21.2 mph, 1hr 12mins, very cold, wet road and ice in parts, temp -1, wind 13. Total 652.32 miles.

Wednesday 26th March 2008 @ 17:45, RP, 19.63 miles, av 12.2, max 25.3 mph, 1hr 36mins, mild, wet & muddy, temp 8, wind 5. Total 671.95 miles.

Friday 28th March 2008 @ 19:00, BP, RP, Lee, 20.63 miles, av 12, max 25.7 mph, 1hr 43mins, very windy, wet, driving freezing rain at beginning, then clear, temp 3, wind 19. Total 692.58 miles.

Sunday 30th March 2008 @ 16:00, RP x2 & a bit, 24.71 miles, av 12.8, max 36.3 mph, 1hr 55mins, mild, dry (with muddy puddles), sunny with some clouds, I nearly got caught speeding by a policeman! He was at the bottom of one of the hills with a speed camera and was pointing it right at me. I was going 15mph (the limit is 10). Just before (and going much faster) I saw him, another cyclist shouted at me who was coming from the opposite direction and although I didn't hear him because I had my ipod on, I took it as a warning that there were police around and so I slowed down. Also today, I was due to take part in another Gorrick MTB race, but got mixed up what with the clocks going forward one hour and missed it! Temp 14, wind 7. Total 717.29 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........717.29 miles.

"The **** for My Feather"

2008-04-01T00:09:00.001+01:00

View of the Thames from Kingston Bridge 30th March 2008.

My God! What would a **** be without her beautiful feathers? Cold, alone & dead in the water, that's what! It doesn't bare thinking about does it? The two go perfectly together with one another, always have, always will.
There is this **** that I know, you see. The most beautiful **** I have ever seen, ever. I see her sometimes in the park from my bike and whilst driving in my car. I see her in my sleep and I see her in my dreams too. She is absolutely everywhere!
Sometimes she is all alone and I want her so badly. Other times she has another **** by her side and I want to be with her so much that I would kill for her company. I shall never be entirely happy until I have her by my side and her wings envelope me and cover me with her soul, her warmth, her humour and her Love. What do I have to do to get her, to have her with me, to want me so badly that she never wants to let me go? Just what do I have to do?
She is a precious treasure, buried for centuries only to be unearthed and taken by someone else. But this treasure was always meant to be for me. For I had the map and I had the spade and I had the time and I lost her! She flew away and never came back to me, until now. I still have the map and spade and the time. And I have plenty of room in my heart for this most perfect of perfect *****. This most beautiful of all the ***** that there ever was!
I am the feather that belongs to this ****. To keep her warm and to help her fly, to keep her dry, to make her feel pure, magnificent, beautiful & Loved.
I am the river that will carry this **** and keep her afloat and feed her. I am the sky that will take her places, to places that she will have never been to before. Special places reserved only for Her & I. But why can't this happen? Why doesn't she fly away altogether and never come back? When will she paddle over to me and whisper in my ear that she wants me too? That she will be the **** for my feather?

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........717.29 miles.

"Holding My Hands"

2008-03-24T10:08:00.002Z

Holding my hands...again.

I followed as Jac led me up the un-sheltered stairs of a railway station and over the tracks, she was a little ahead of me. A strange man was holding her hand and she didn't seem to mind, but I did. I felt hurt and not wanted! I pretended that my ankle hurt more than it actually did and slowed way down hoping that she would let go of his hand and wait for me. He seemed to be pulling her along. There arms met high and tight as he pulled her along. He was walking faster than Jac wanted and Jac was walking faster than me. Eventually she pulled away from him and stopped. I caught her up and she didn't seem too happy with me. There was a gap between the railings of the stairs. She squeezed through and I followed, feeling a little more comfortable that she was alone now. I wondered who he was, but didn't ask.
It was dark and it had been raining. The gap in the fence came out onto the stations car park and along one side of the car park were a small line of doors. They were the front doors of peoples houses. Big wooden doors, gloss painted all sorts of bright colours. Jac went up to one of them, may have been green? and knocked on it. I wondered who lived there, but didn't ask. The door opened and the first thing that I saw was a giant black dog! It ran straight out the door and sprinted across the shiny wet car park and out of sight. I envisioned it running up to the strange man that had been holding Jac's hand and biting him! I don't think that it did though.
The next moment, I was inside the house and I was sitting at one end of a large comfy sofa. Jac was sitting on an armchair across the other side of the room. She was stroking the big black dog. She Loves dogs!
As I was sitting on the sofa, a young woman entered the room and seemed to float across to the sofa and sat right by me. She was very beautiful. Her hair was very long and fair in colour. Her face was very pleasing to look at. She seemed to have one of those permanent smiles, even her eyes smiled. Her skin was so soft looking and flawless. Everything about her was perfect to me! As soon as her bottom hit the sofa, she leant on me and rested her slim body against mine and rested her warm head right between my shoulder and neck. Her long hair had bunched up a little and found it's way across part of my face. I could feel a few hairs by my mouth. It felt absolutely amazing! It was the softest hair that I had ever seen and it smelled divine! My hands were in my lap, holding each other. I looked across to Jac to see what she was doing. I wanted to make eye contact with her and to show her that I was very very happy, but a little confused also. Jac seemed only interested in the dog.
I felt as though I had been injected with a syringe full of something highly intoxicating. The blood in my veins could hardly contain itself! I could hear it as it rushed past my ears. My whole body thumped with wonder! I kept thinking who this amazing woman might be. As I sat there, I found myself thinking of all the things that I would Love to do...like reach up and run my fingers through her hair and ever so gently drag my fingertips across the soft skin of her cheeks and gently kiss her lips. Who knows where things could lead? I could feel her warm body leaning on mine. But all I could do was sit almost frozen with excitement and fear!
I looked down through her hair at my hands. They were cold and clammy. I hoped she wouldn't want to hold them just yet!

Eventually, she spoke to me.

Before, she seemed happy just to rest herself against me and close her eyes, smiling. She turned her head in the crook between my shoulder and head and looked up at me and said how well I looked and how my skin seemed to glow and radiate with good health. I thought the same about her but was afraid to say. In the next few minutes, as I eagerly listened to her soft feminine voice, I learned that she knew absolutely everything about me! She knew all about my HIV, and my haemophilia. She knew that I didn't work and she didn't care in the slightest.

She wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together.........and I didn't even know her name.

Jason

Happy Birthday today to Ros:)

(C) JPT 2008

"Six Seconds at the Bottom of the River"

2008-03-18T00:09:00.007Z

What a silly boy!

Three of us went for a paddle down the River Mole on Sunday, My Mums 65th Birthday.

Here is what happened!

The river was high and the stepping stones at the foot of Box Hill were completely underwater. A giant tree lay asleep across where they are roughly supposed to be poking out from the river. The tree had fallen sometime during last week in the strong winds we have had recently. We launched at about 1pm and with our backs to the tree and invisible stepping stones we began our paddle towards Stoke D'abernon, some 14 miles and four hours downstream.

The weather was grey and rainy. The winds were quite strong too, but most of the time spent paddling, we found ourselves quite sheltered as we meandered our way along the rain fed swollen river. The flow was strong and at no time did we have to get out and pull our kayaks along like we have had to do in the past where the water was too shallow to paddle.

Lee and Ian followed me down the river as I followed numerous ducks and Kingfishers along the faster than normal flowing river. The first two and a half hours were easy going with a few obstacles such as fallen trees and the odd weir and the like to navigate by and over. A swan even tried to chase us away at one point!

We reached the car park where we have usually ended our paddle on previous trips along the Mole in 50 odd minutes. The last time we did this stretch it took us nearer two hours! The water was flowing much faster than we were used to. We continued past the car park and into brand new territory. We had a good three or four hours to go, or so we thought. Little did we know that at about 16:00pm, we would get into trouble and one of us would finish our paddle 2 hours early!

Even before the incident at 16:00, Ian nearly got dragged under a fallen tree! The river water was being forced under it's huge trunk and anything else that happens to find it's way there. Ian found himself heading straight for the tree in the current of the river. With his kayak alongside and up against the tree now he and his kayak were being forced upside down, his head just above the waters surface. I managed to paddle alongside him and tilt his kayak back the right way up against the force of the water. We both lost our paddles and had to float down stream where Lee had caught up with them.

That was the first close shave!

The second involved me I'm afraid. After about three hours paddling and about half hour after Ian's incident, my hat got caught on a low hanging branch. I grabbed hold of the next low hanging branch a few yards along, to stop myself and turn back and get my hat. But the water was flowing too fast and in the blink of an eye the back of my kayak was being forced under the water and pulled me tight between the kayak and the branch, it all happened so bloody quick! I tried to hang on and let the kayak go, but the spray deck prevented me from leaving the kayak and the extreme weight of the kayak being dragged along with the rivers flow, forced me to let go of the branch! I heard Lee calling from the opposite bank for me to let go! Unfortunately, by the time all this had happened, I wasn't upright anymore and I had no choice having lost all my strength from my hands and my fingers, I slipped from the branch and landed on my side and capsized! The water was freezing! I hardly had time to get a breath as I entered the water and as soon as I was submerged the cold took the rest of my breath away from me and I swallowed a mouthful of water. I knew instantly that I had no time to attempt a roll of any kind and needed to breathe right there and then. I blindly felt for the handle on the spray deck. I yanked it towards me and before I knew it, I was out of the kayak and looking for the surface. With my eyes open, all I could see was a dark green blur, then a light green blur. My now soaked and frozen legs and socked feet made contact with the rivers rocky bed as I was dragged, totally submerged, for several seconds down the river before I re-surfaced. I tried to stand up and felt a kayak above me (it may have even been Ian's kayak) and tried to grab it. In the end I failed to even see my kayak, let alone keep hold of it! The next time I would see my boat was some five hours later, strapped to the top of my car outside Redhill Hospital.

As I stood up, I found myself in the middle of the river and in the fastest part. Ian called if I was ok. I stuttered that it was freezing. I was choking a little. The river was flowing quite fast around me and I found it almost impossible to stand up straight. Fortunately it wasn't too deep. It came up to my waist and my spray deck, which was mostly submerged, was threatening to drag me down the river as the water pushed against it. I found the handle at the front, pulled it from the water and stuck it between my teeth and found I could stand up better. Ian was there right by me and tried his hardest to stay with me, but the flow of the river forced him to carry on and maneuver his way around a fallen tree about 10ft ahead of us. I even tried to get a hold of his kayak to help keep stable, but had to let go as I was afraid of capsizing him too! I had no buoyancy aid on (I know, I know) and didn't fancy my chances floating downstream until it was safer to get to the bank...plus there was the fallen tree that I didn't want to come into contact with.

I was stranded and unable to walk because of the risk of being knocked off balance. The fallen tree, half submerged about 10ft in front of me that reached halfway across the river from the left side bank and was at an angle pointing towards the flow of the river was my main concern. The last thing I wanted to happen was to loose my footing, then washed into and under the tree! I could see no sign of my boat and somehow I still had hold of my paddle, but every time the blades touched the fast flowing water, I was knocked off balance. I threw it over to the bank and it slid back down and ended back in the water and slowly made its way into the main flow of the river and floated just a foot past me as I stood frozen in place wondering what to do next! I just stood there on the spot for a few minutes, looking all around me to see what my options were. Lee was on the opposite side of the bank holding onto a branch.

My only option was to inch my way to the nearest part of the fallen tree and use it to make my way to the bank. I was shivering by now and new if I didn't get out soon, I would be at risk from developing hypothermia! Walking in the water felt as if I had two fully grown men attached to each of my legs! When I was close enough to the tree, I judged the distance needed to reach it without walking further than I absolutely needed to. I leant over and grabbed the tree and shuffled my way to the bank. I yelled over to Lee to come over and give me his towel. I sat soaked on the steepish grassy bank and watched Lee make his way across the flow of the river and over to me. I couldn't stop shivering and took off my jacket and top and dried myself as quickly as I could. Lee pulled his kayak out of the water and stood by me. Ian was downstream looking for my boat and paddle. Lee and I looked around us and saw just where we were! We were in the middle of nowhere, miles from any signs of life apart from the M25 just across the river. We were surrounded by fields. The motorway had absolutely no access to the river...besides, we were on the wrong side of the river with no sign of a bridge. Lee ran over to see where Ian was as I tried to dry myself. My legs and hands were numb and I noticed a small cut on the bridge of my left foot as I took off my socks to ring them out and replace them. I dried the inside of my waterproof jacket with the towel and wrapped the towel around me and put my jacket back on over the towel. My ankles were as stiff as anything and walking anywhere would have been out of the question!

When Lee came back from finding Ian, I said to that I didn't know how I would be feeling if we just hung around and tried to sort this mess out ourselves and that I was worried that I might get hypothermia and told him to get Ian to phone 999 asap. Lee and I's phones (and our cameras) were in my kayak. Ian was spotted about a quarter mile downstream. He had found my kayak and pulled his out of the water and up onto the field. Mine was stuck upside down on a branch on the other side of the river and Ian couldn't quite reach it and left it there and came over to meet Lee. The emergency services were called and the situation explained. As we were waiting for the emergency services to arrive, Ian & Lee put me into Lee's boat and Ian stuck his kayaking helmet onto my head and gave me his dry top and wrapped me in a silver blanket that he had in his first aid kit. I still couldn't stop shaking and Ian sat on the side of the kayak and put his warm arms around me and fed me chocolate whilst Lee was on the phone explaining to the emergency services exactly where we were. I knew from just looking around me that a helicopter was the only way that they would be able to get to us. Dare I say, I even hoped it would be a helicopter as I had never been in one before.

After waiting about half an hour, still shivering all over, I could see two people in bright green fluorescent overalls walk into the field near to where my kayak had ended up. Lee was over there too and directed them over to Ian & I, but by the time they reached us a helicopter had appeared and landed just feet away from us and let two men out and took off again. I told Lee that my car key was in my jacket pocket. He took it out and put it somewhere safe. Then suddenly, I was surrounded by paramedics and helicopter police and after answering several health related questions, I was carefully walked up to the now re-landed helicopter, treading over a farmers muddy field in cold wet socks and flown to Redhill Hospital in Surrey, about ten miles away as the crow flies. Lee & Ian were told what hospital that I was being flown to.

As I approached the helicopter, the co pilot pointed at the step and then pointed at a chair I was to sit in. My socks were covered in mud as were his boots. The aluminium floor of the helicopter was covered in thick clumps of fresh mud from the field. He touched my knee and gave me the thumbs up as I looked at him. I gave him one back to say that I was fine. He shut the door and locked it. Talking aboard the helicopter would have been useless. It was very noisy as the pilot took off, and only got louder as it's engine reached full power. I saw Lee wave to me from the field below. I tried to wave back but my hands were frozen in place. The cabin soon filled up with hot air and the strong smell of aviation fuel. I was amazed, not just at the fact that I was involved in all this, but that I was in a helicopter being flown over the Surrey countryside. I was also amazed at how hilly the terrain was from up here compared to the ground. As we made our way to the hospital, I was pretty sure that I could see part of the North Downs where we go mountain biking. The clouds were just above us and looked like they were filled with rain. Our flight took about ten minutes and although it was very bumpy and there seemed to be quite a bit of turbulence, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I was wheeled from the helicopter to a waiting ambulance and driven the short distance to the A&E section of the hospital. I found myself answering more questions relating to my health and next of kin etc. Then I was wheeled into an empty resuscitation room where three nurses were expecting me. I didn't need resuscitating obviously, but needed warming up asap! I had my temperature taken which was not at a dangerous level but was below normal. It was 35.4. I got out of my wet clothes and slipped into a gown and lay down under an inflatable cover that had hot air circulating through it. I looked at the time on the clock on the wall opposite and saw it was 17:00pm.

Just as I was bought a cup of tea to help warm me up, a man was wheeled in and into the space next to me. He was surrounded by doctors and one of them was pushing onto his chest. He was an old man from an old peoples home and was diabetic. He died suddenly and there was nothing the doctors could do! One of the nurses apologized for the smell, for the man had soiled himself. I quietly said not to worry and that it was fine.

I had my heart checked (ECG) and a sample of blood was taken. I have three bald patches on my chest to show for it where the nurse shaved my hair away to stick the patches needed to fix the wires to the ECG machine. Everything came back fine, but my temperature was a little lower than it should have been. I was taken to an empty and wonderfully quiet observation ward until they were happy that my temperature was back to normal again. I was able to use the hospitals phone to call my mobile which I had hoped Lee had in his possession by now, but it went over to answering mode. Then I rang my Mum and asked if she had heard from lee. She hadn't and I told her what happened and told her not to worry and that I was fine. Then as I was talking to her my twin sister Nicola, who is married to Lee, had rung the hospital. Lee had made contact with her and told her to ring me to let me know that they were about twenty minutes from Ian's car and that they were fine.

Whilst I was being seen to in the hospital, Lee and Ian had managed to rescued my kayak, two mobile phones and two cameras. Even my water shoes were still inside my kayak. My paddle was nowhere to be seen. It has probably made it's way all the way to the Thames by Hampton Court Palace and along the Thames though London and on to the sea. Lee towed my boat the rest of the way to where Ian's car was parked in Stoke D'abernon. They were in the water for another hour and a half! It was getting dark and they were worried that they might get into more trouble, and so was I! Lee could hear my mobile phone ringing as he paddled, but had to ignore it as he was busy navigating the rest of the river Mole.
When they finally reached their destination, they knocked on the door of a nearby house and asked to hide the boats in their garden whilst Ian drove Lee to Box Hill to collect my car. Normally, one of us would have sat by the boats whilst the other car was fetched. Ian then went home and Lee collected the boats and made his way to the hospital.

I was brought more tea and a corned beef & cucumber sandwich and was left sat quietly thinking about all the days events. By half past eight (tablet time!) I was beginning to worry about Lee and Ian and asked to use the phone again. I tried my mobile again to no avail and just as I started to ring my mum Lee came into the ward at about 9pm with some dry clothes. Yay! At which point the nurses were happy enough with my temperature and said it was ok to go home. Talk about perfect timing:)

After I dropped Lee off after racing us back home from the hospital, I popped around to give my mum her birthday card and a hug. I was home by ten, took my tablets, had an injection, took some painkillers and went to bed!

The next morning both the soles of my feet hurt and were bruised from the rocks on the rivers bed! And both my hands hurt too after hanging onto the branch.

I learned, we all learned, some very important lessons on Sunday!

Happy Birthday to Mum (65), Millie (4) & Daisy (16) who are all a year older this week:)

Jason

P.s. Thank you so much to everyone who helped me!!!

(C) JPT 2008.........

"Pearl of a Girl"

2008-03-09T23:13:00.013Z

York House Statues, Twickenham February 2008

"Pearl of a Girl"

Found at the bottom of a tearful sea,
Her home for millions of years for me,
Her bed slowly frozen in time in this place,
She's never felt sure, She's never felt safe,
Until darkness glows with a vision so bold,
To take her away from here, away from this cold,
She moves with the flow, erosion in tow,
Waiting to go with the diver below,
He's been holding his heart and his deep cold breath,
To escape this hell, to escape this death,
Only salt and sand to hold her hand,
This is her world, this is her land,
Brought to the surface in a race with the fish,
We reach the air just in time for a kiss,
She's a pearl of a girl, She's been forming for me,
She's my pearl of a girl, She's been dreaming to be.

Jason

By Jason Paul Tolmie, 22:17pm, September 3rd, 2002.

(C) JPT 2008.........572.12 miles

"My Kayaking for February 2008"

2008-03-05T12:42:00.000Z

A pub down Lawn Road, Hampstead on the 28th. I went kayaking that very same evening;)

Can you believe that I didn't take one photo whilst out kayaking for the whole of February! So, I have no picture for the post. I'll think of something I'm sure. In fact, I just looked on my iphotos and the only day that I took a photo on the same day I went kayaking was on the 28th February when I went to The Royal Free Hospital to get this painful coldsore I had on my bottom lip checked out that I had had for over a week and which wouldn't stop bleeding! I had to wait a bit for the docs to come out of a meeting, so I went off for a short walk to Lawn Road behind the hospital to see an art deco block of flats that I saw four years ago during another visit to the RFH. The crime novelist Agatha Christie used to live there. Type Lawn Road Flats into Google and see for yourself. I think they're rather sexy!
Four years ago they were in a right state and were in the process of being completely restored. They look absolutely beautiful now, but I didn't take a photo because there were trees in the way which would have made the photo look rubbish! I had my camera with me to get a shot of the hospital (see last post "This is the Room") and saw a pub with flaky paint on the walls and took a picture of that instead. I went kayaking later that night, so I hope this photo'll do;)

Tuesday 5th February 2008 @ 14:25pm, Twickenham to Teddington Lock and back, windy, rainy, fast flowing river after rain, head wind, I found a big pink rubber dog ball to go with all my tennis balls, temp 9, wind 16.

Thursday 7th February 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, Ian, 90mins, on my way home I saw two London Underground train carriages on the back of lorries going up the Great West Road (London bound) to...the underground?

Thursday 14th February 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, Ian, 90mins, tonight was Valentines night and the pool was almost empty and to make me feel even more single the water volleyballers finished at 22:00 and we had the whole pool to ourselves. To mark the occasion I had earlier drawn (in permanent marker) a blue heart with an arrow shooting through it across my left forearm;)

Thursday 21st February 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, Ian, 90mins.

Thursday 28th February 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, 90mins, Ian, Eoin, James and a new guy called Gareth who followed me in from Gillettes Corner. He lives right by me and does a bit of mountain biking too! Ian got out early as he had a pain that he didn't want to aggravate.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008

"My Cycling for February 2008"

2008-03-04T23:31:00.002Z

Tunnel Hill, Gorrick Mountain Bike Race. See entry for 17th February below.

A pretty good month all in all. Plenty of riding due mostly to it being relatively dry and rain free. This month saw the end of my Cateye Triple Shot LED bike light. It was playing up for a while and gave up the ghost right at the end of this month. I have got a brand new one now but I won't talk about it until the next months cycling post;) All I will say now (having only used it the once so far) is that it is the dogs bollocks!
The photo of me for this post wasn't taken by yours truly, but instead by a race official photographer during a race that Ian, Lee & I kinda entered (unofficially) on the 17th. There is another race by the same people on Sunday March 9th right near the infamous Broadmoor Hospital in the middle of the Berkshire countryside and we plan to enter that one officially, where we will each get a snazzy number plate for the front of our bikes. Read all about it in next months cycling post.

Friday 1st February 2008 @ 19:00pm, Lee, BP,RP, 22 miles, av 12, max 24.5 mph, 1hr 46mins, cold, windy, dark, clear, temp 1, wind 17. Total 233.30 miles.

Saturday 2nd February 2008 @ 18:30pm & 22:30pm, I cycled to Mums and back because of the rugby match...England lost to Wales 19 to 26 at Twickenham, 5.39 miles, av 13.9, max 20.5 mph, 23mins, cold, windy, dry, temp 2, wind 16. Total 238.69 miles.

Sunday 3rd February 2008 @ 14:15pm, HH, PH, HH, Ian, 16.39 miles, av 7.9, max 28.8 mph, 2hrs 4mins, windy, cool and dry. Total 247.08 miles.

Wednesday 6th February 2008 @ 18:40pm, RP, Ian, cold, dark, dry, clear, 22.01 miles, av 11.5, max 25.3 mph, 1hr 55mins, temp 2, wind 3. Total 269.09 miles.

Friday 8th February 2008 @ 18:40pm, Lee, Ian, RP, BP, 32.3 miles, av 10.9, max 28.8 mph, 2hrs 30mins, cool, dry, dark, another cyclist shouted at me for blinding him with my bike lights! What a wally!, Ian had a 2008 Stumpjumper FSR to test, temp 6, wind 7. Total 301.39 miles.

Sunday 10th February 2008 @ 13:20pm, Jac, HH, PH, 10.84 miles, av 7.3, max 18 mph, 1hr 29mins, sunny and bright and warm, Jac borrowed Elvis and I used Ian's test bike, Jac did very well considering she keeps thinking that she is going to fall off backwards up the hills;), temp 12, wind 2. Total 322.23 miles.

Tuesday 12th February 2008 @ 20:00pm, HH, James, 8.7 miles, av 6.5, max 22.1 mph, 1hr 16mins, cool, dark, dry, very bright stars in the night sky, I accidentally killed a rabbit and a Badger on my drive home!, temp 2, wind 4. Total 330.93 miles.

Wednesday 13th February 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 28.8 miles, av 12.1, max 30.2 mph, 2hrs 18mins, beautiful sunny day, warm, dry, perfect, temp 13, wind 6. Total 359.73 miles.

Sunday 17th February 2008 @ 13:00pm, Tunnel Hill near Frimley down the M3 Jn4, Gorrick mountain bike race day, 13.88 miles, 3xlaps, Ian, Lee, sunny, dry, av 8.9, max 22.5 mph, 1hr 34mins, we didn't officially enter but did get photographed by the race photographer, the track was great and set all around MOD land, whilst we were riding around the route, another rider crashed and hit a tree and needed lifting out by helicopter. It was all very exciting! temp 8, wind 5. Total 373,61 miles.

Tuesday 19th February 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 27.10 miles, av 11,6, max 25.9 mph, 2hrs 20mins, sunny, dry, cool, temp 5, wind 7. Total 400.71 miles.

Wednesday 20th February 2008 @ 17:10pm, Ian, HH, PH, HH, 14 miles, 2hrs, av 7.8, max 27 mph, dark, dry, cool, my bike light is affecting the performance of my trip computer and my lights cable is faulty and switches off over bumps!, my forks too had a service today (Elvis), temp 4, wind 7. Total 414.71 miles.

Friday 22nd February 2008 @ 18:00pm, RP, 17.30 miles, av 12.5, max 24.9 mph, 1hr 23mins, dry, dark, cool. Total 432.01 miles.

Sunday 24th February 2008 @ 14:00pm, HH, PH, HH, Ian, Phil, Marcus, 12.87 miles, av 7.4, max 30.3 mph, 1hr 43mins, dry, warmish, last 40 mins was in light rain, before the ride I got to meet Phil's new baby girl Pearl. She was born on the 18th Feb and was sooo tiny and cute! This was also the first time I have ridden with Phil since last year sometime, temp10, wind 3. Total 444.88 miles.

Monday 25th February 2008 @ 18:45pm, RP, BP & a visit to Lee's in Hampton, Ian, 28.58 miles, av 13.3, max 26 mph, 2hrs 8mins, dark, cool, windy, Lee showed us his new Hope Vision 4 LED bike light. It seems pretty good. Temp 9, wind 11. Total 473.46 miles.

Wednesday 27th February 2008 @ 20:15pm, LH & surrounding back roads (we got kinda lost starting from Nirvana Cycles in Westcott!), 17.38 miles, Ian, av 8, max 32.8 mph, 2hrs 10mins, dark, cool, dry with muddy sections on the hill, Leith Hill doesn't seem to drain as well as Holmbury & Pitch Hills, tonight was a beautiful night with clear skies and bright stars, my bike light has been playing up for a while now. Not only does it interfere with my trip computer, it turns on and off unexpectedly over the bumps courtesy of a dodgy cable! The thing (Cateye Triple Shot LED 1st gen) is over two years old now and isn't as bright as it used to be and now is the time for a new light! Temp 3, wind 4. Total 490.84 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........522.68 miles.

"This is the Room"

2008-02-27T23:40:00.009Z

Believe me, it's in there. The room where it all started! The Royal Free Hospital today, Hampstead, London.

Kid fingered dolls line the wall,
Small soft footsteps heard out in the hall,
Tell me something Mother of mine,
Will I see the end, will I be fine?
Dirty old men sniffing out girls,
Black & white dogs shitting themselves,
White coated men man handling the boys,
Handing them tissues, handing them toys,
Socks hanging off the ends of my feet,
Feeling sick way down, pain comes to meet,
Blood up the walls, sick on the floor,
Tears in my eyes, gap in the door,
Remote control, You & me,
Who is to blame, My fault maybe?
The light is my friend until it goes out,
Then darkness, I call, I want, so I shout,
This is the room, the start of it all,
The beginning, the end, the long hard fall,
Bags of sweets for the holes in me,
Come play with the needles, come play on my knee,
I've been lost ever since I left that room,
I'm still here, but the room is a tomb,
It's no longer there now, a place no more,
It's just a room, four walls and a door,
Still you can hear the line outside,
Of young boys & girls who have already died,
I'm left with nothing, empty & hollow,
I'm still in that line just waiting to follow.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........490.84 miles.

"The Same Deep Water as I"

2008-02-18T23:40:00.003Z

Kingston Riverside today.

"Just how deep does a swimming pool need to be? How deep and how large?"

The one presented before me was enormous! I had know idea why I was here and I had know idea how I got here! But I was here, and here to stay!

I found myself by the pools edge at one end. The pool stretched out before me for what must have been a thousand feet in length, five hundred feet wide and one hundred feet deep! The whole thing was covered by a huge hanger and any sound that I heard was greatly magnified due to the size of the vast empty space that I found myself in. To the left hand side of the pool and near to the end that I was at, I could see through the light ripples, submerged on the pools bottom a Boeing 747 aircraft. It looked positively tiny as it lie dead, crushed under a billion tonnes of water! It was intact and looked just as if it were waiting on the runway of an airport. I thought maybe that it was there for deep sea rescuers to practice rescuing people from aircraft that crash into the sea. It looked very odd nonetheless.
On closer inspection of the pools bottom, I could make out tiny little figures walking around in diving suits. They looked busy and moved with purpose. The more that I looked, the more people I saw. Their suits were of the canvas type with large metal helmets shaped like spheres with small circles of ultra thick glass with which to see through and to protect the wearer from the great pressures of such deep water.
As I looked down into the depths of the pool, I noticed that my feet were covered with these giant metal boots. The soles of which were made up from three or so inches of solid lead! I felt very heavy and realized that I too was dressed in the same way as the people I could see under the waters surface. The glass covered hole cut into the front of my helmet made sure that I could see forward. I looked to my left and saw another glass hole and to my right another. Through the small round window on my right side I saw a man standing right by me. He said that he was the owner of the pool. He looked me up and down and told me that I looked just like a proper diver. He smiled when he said this and then looked into the water and said for me to get in.

After telling him that I had never been diving before, I found myself climbing down onto the pools ledge and lowered my legs into the icy looking water and found myself thinking how long it would take for me to reach the bottom. There were no steps nor any kind of hoist to lower me in! Surprisingly, as I let myself go, I sank quite slowly as I approached the pools bottom. The sides of the pool were made up from thousands and thousands of square, once brilliant white tiles, now slightly yellowing with grouting that was stained a light brown. I let my thickly gloved fingertips run against the tiles surface to help keep my balance. The echoey sound that was quite distinctive at the surface was replaced by a deeper, much quieter almost eerie sound. It got slightly louder the closer I reached the bottom. The heavy metal and canvas of my diving suit was now weightless. The canvas clung to my legs and arms as the waters pressure put tremendous
weight on my body. I felt quite warm, after thinking the water might in fact be freezing, although my fingers did feel like they were swelling up and my ears began to hurt a little and began ringing. Even my teeth hurt as I could feel the air trapped beneath my fillings expand!
I finally reached the bottom and landed perfectly upright, my head stooped down as my heavy suit & I carried on downwards momentarily. I saw the grimy tiled floor and looked up and slowly shuffled around until I was facing the massive expanse of the pool before me. It was quite bright down here, but as I looked up, the surface had all but disappeared and had turned into a beautiful deep blue. Looking back down onto the pools tiled floor, I saw all around my feet various cables and chains coiled into small neat piles. Straight ahead of me I could see the Boeing 747. It looked much bigger than it had from the surface. I found myself walking towards it. As I made my way through various winding cables, heaps of thick dirty rope, chains made up from links the size of my feet and large mesh steel boxes full to the brim with various tools, the 747 got bigger and bigger. I passed several other people dressed in the same way as I. They completely ignored me as if I had been there for years.
As I approached the airplane, my ears had stopped ringing from the pressure of the water and now, in the distance, I could hear the sound of what must have been the pools filters working hard to keep the pools massive watery contents crystal clear. The sound that these machines made which powered the filters made me think of a room, also filled with water, situated behind the main walls of the pool with a number of naked men with large heavy lead boots on, all slowly heaving lengths of heavy chain behind them. Maybe they were ghosts and had been sent to their sealed water filled room as punishment for drowning in the pool.

As I approached the lonely looking giant of an airplane, I suddenly wondered where my air was coming from! I don't remember having any air tanks on my back and there were no air tubes feeding me air from the surface either! I almost began to panic, until I said to myself that I'd be already dead if I wasn't getting any air. I did my best to forget about it for the time being and headed for the plane.
Once I had finally reached the undercarriage, I saw a door leading out of the pool and went to it. The door automatically slid open as I approached it and through it I went. It led outside onto an old cobbled street and although I was still submerged under thousands of gallons of water, I was outside. The surrounding area looked old and dirty. I looked up to see if I could see the surface of the water but it seemed bottomless and faded into the same deep blue as it did from the pool inside. I daren't stray any further outside, in case I got lost. As I turned to walk back into the sliding doors, the man that owned the pool was standing there. I stopped dead and looked at him. He stepped closer to me and said that I walked just like a proper deep sea diver. He then leant in to me and kissed me on my cheek. I felt his prickly stubble press through my helmet and onto my soft skin. I pulled back slightly and told him how prickly he was as I walked away towards the sliding doors once more. The owner looked quite embarrassed as I left him standing there.

This time, just inside the door was another man seemingly keeping guard. He saw me come in and held up an arm as if to say wait. He looked into the pool, both left and right, then back at me. He said it was all clear and nodded for me to enter. I continued back into the pool walking slowly and heavily like a man on the moon might. Progress was slow but steady.
The man who owned the pool, the man who had kissed me, wanted me to work here at the pool, so he would see me everyday. He was back inside the pool with me and told me so. He pointed up to a platform near the middle of the great tiled floor of the pool and said that I had to climb up to it using the almost invisible, tiny steps winding their way up it. The platform was about half the depth of the pool. He told me that everyone else who wanted to work here had to go around the long way and that I was very privileged to be shown up this way. Once up on the narrow looking platform right in the middle of the water, there would be a means of joining the pools workforce by way of entering my personal details into a computer and then begin my time here permanently.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"One Sad Transmission Down..."

2008-02-09T12:51:00.000Z

My left arm and his (gigantic) plaster covering the hole that my twelve month post treatment blood test was sucked from...on my 37th birthday (23.01.08)

That Interferon stuff works! It really works! What are the chances eh? Thirty odd years of being Hep C positive and in combination with twenty odd years of living with HIV and swallowing all those powerful HIV drugs that are good for the HIV (mostly), but not so good for your liver...and it has gone away. My Hep C has gone! It ain't coming back! Not unless I'm re-infected somewhere down the line, which isn't entirely impossible seeing as though I still, on a weekly basis, inject myself in exactly the same way in that I was infected in the first place! But hey, if I can live with it for such a long time and stay healthy, I am pretty sure that I can live with it again.
It's been one whole year since I finished my 50wks of Hep C treatment and I feel great! Not that I felt ill before I did the treatment. In fact, I felt pretty good before. I never did suffer from any symptoms from having Hep C it seems. It did do my head in a little (the HIV still does), but physically I felt great. Just as I did (more or less) on treatment and just as I do now. I am pretty adamant that it was my decision to stay as active as I possibly could and cycle my bike so much leading up to and during treatment that kept me so well. Staying fit and active is so important I think. So if you're contemplating treatment, go get a bike and cycle like a madman and you too may have as good a treatment as I. Go for it!

Jason

P.s. Happy third Birthday to little Evie today:)

(C) JPT 2008.........309.39 miles

"My Kayaking for January 2008"

2008-02-03T22:05:00.000Z

My feet poolside at Ealing Pool, West London, Jan 31st 2008. Ian is in the green boat practicing a manoeuver that I can't remember the name of!

As you can see from last months kayaking stats...I haven't done much! It isn't from not wanting to. It has just been far too wet and the water provided by the rainfall in January has made the rivers swell and run very fast. This is all very well if you have a car waiting for you down stream somewhere, otherwise you will just not be able to get back up stream and back to the car. Maybe if I was in my longer, thinner sea kayak, I might have a better chance. But I have to use my tiny Dagger RPM and trying to paddle up stream in that whilst the river is running the way it has been of late, I would be going backwards! Plus the water is cold;)

The Thursday trips to Ealing are much needed and the warmth of the swimming pool is well appreciated too. And is also a great opportunity to practice my kayak rolls and hand rolls etc. I am really looking forward to this year where kayaking is concerned. I am going to make sure that I get a fair bit of sea kayaking in this year. And there is a lake in North Wales that I will definitely get to this summer!! Last years sea kayaking was pretty thin, in fact I went once, with Lee, to Lulworth Cove. Thats just terrible! Lee, we gotta do more sea kayaking dude!

Below, if you're interested are my stats for January's kayaking.

Thursday 17th January 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ian & others, Ealing Pool, 90mins.

Thursday 24th January 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ian & others, Ealing Pool, 90mins.

Thursday 31st January 2008 @ 21:00pm, Ian & others, Ealing Pool, 90mins.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.

"My Cycling for January 2008"

2008-02-01T23:40:00.000Z

Fire! Fire! Heathrow Airport's on fire! Of course it isn't really on fire. It's just the sun setting behind me up on the West side of Richmond Parks Tamsin Trail on the 22nd Jan 2008 (one day before my 37th birthday), over looking Twickenham, Isleworth (where I was born) and Heathrow etc.

So, another cycling year begins. January could have been a better month. It would have been without the cold and chest infection and the absolutely terrible weather that seemed to dominate it! And it seems to be spilling over into February too! I'm a little fed up with the mud and rain to be honest. I don't mind the ice cold or the wind or the silly mild days that we have had too, but the rain doesn't do me any favours. I have decided that it is just far too dangerous to risk going night riding in the Surrey Hills whilst it is wet. I have this bad feeling that I am going to have an accident and injure myself if I continue to take risks! And I am fed up with washing my bike after every ride too. The way things were going, I'd have had no paint left on the bike by April;)

Anyway, so I avoid muddy situations at night and stick to going in the day or just pootle around Richmond Park on the Tamsin Trail. I have been using both bikes recently. Elvis and my old 2005 Kona Caldera (hardtail) "Dessert Storm", who has just had £300 spent on him in the form of two new hubs (XT), spokes, head set (Cane Creek), cable kit, chain, brake pads (Hayes Sintered), cassette (XT) and small and middle chain rings. He's just like new again. It's nice knowing you have two bikes on the go, in case one is out of action so to speak.

What will 2008 bring in the way of mountain biking, besides my normal keep fit/Surrey Hills/RP ride? Looks like I'll be entering Rough Ride this year, as well as a few of the Merida Marathon events. A friend of mine, Matthew of "Blood, Sweat and Tyres" has planned a ride from John 'O Groats to Lands End over a period of 23 days in August and will be cycling most of it off-road. I have been invited to join him for all or part of the ride, but I still haven't decided how much (if any) I will be doing. I really have to think about this one! I have been thinking for a while already and have not yet come to any decision. Damn my haemophilia!!!

Below are my cycling stats for January 2008.

Tuesday 1st January 2008 @ 18:30pm, RP, 15.98 miles, av 13.8, max 30.6 mph, 1hr 9mins, dry, temp 8, wind 4. Total 15.98 miles.

Thursday 3rd January 2008 @ 19:00pm, RP, 18.59 miles, av 12.2, max 22.8 mph, 1hr 31mins, dry, cool, temp 3, wind 8. Total 34.57 miles.

During this break of eight days, I had a horrible cold and also developed a chest infection! It was absolutely awful being holed up indoors for those days that I was ill! All sorts of things were going through my silly head! It doesn't matter how well you deal with or how long you have had HIV for, it still scares me to death when I get ill!

Saturday 12th January 2008 @ 13:00pm, first ride after nasty cold and chest infection!, RP, 20.12 miles, av 11.8, max 27.4 mph, 1hr 42mins, temp 8, wind 9. Total 54.69 miles.

Monday 14th January 2008 @ 19:00pm, RPx2, Ian, 24 miles, muddy, dark & windy, av 11.9, max 25 mph, 2hrs, temp 9, wind 13. Total 78.69 miles.

Wednesday 16th January 2008 @ 14:00pm, RP, 14.25 miles, av 12.7, max 25.1 mph, 1hr 7mins, sunny, cool, muddy, temp 9, wind 5. Total 92.94 miles.

Friday 18th January 2008 @ 15:00pm, 15.02 miles, av 13.2, max 35.7 mph, 1hr 8mins, mild, light, cloudy & very windy, dry, on-road in RP, temp 14, wind 18. Total 107.96 miles.

Monday 21st January 2008 @ 19:30pm, RP on-road, 18.54 miles, av 13.8, max 36.2 mph, 1hr 21mins, dark, windy with a very bright moon, temp 11, wind 22!. Total 126.50 miles.

Tuesday 22nd January 2008 @ 15:00pm (see photo above), RP, 20.10 miles, av 11.8, max 25.5 mph, 1hr 42mins, sunny, cool, temp 8, wind 8. Total 146.60 miles.

Friday 25th January 2008 @ 14:40pm, RP, 23.12 miles, av 12.7, max 27.1 mph, 1hr 49mins, dry, bright & windy, temp 11, wind 16. Total 169.72 miles.

Sunday 27th January 2008 @ 14:00pm, a very busy RP, 20.62 miles, av 12.6 max 25.3 mph, 1hr 35mins, sunny, windy & warm and dry, temp 11, wind 11. Total 190.34 miles.

Tuesday 29th January 2008 @ 14:00pm, RPx2, 20.96 miles, av 13.1 max 25.1 mph, 1hr 35mins, mild, windy, cloudy, temp 9, wind 9. Total 211.30 miles.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........211.30 miles.

"Birthday Boys & Girls"

2008-01-27T23:22:00.000Z

My card from Jac.

And both boy and girl are thirty seven years old this week (23rd to be exact @ 01:13 am (Nicola @ 01:20am). Myself and my twin Nicola (Happy Birthday Nic-Nic:) in fact. Although, we didn't actually see each other on the day. Nicola, her hubby Lee (my best friend) and my Dad went to see the Tutankhamen exhibition in the old Millennium Dome building. My Dad Loves all things Egyptian. That is where my surname came from all those years ago don't you know? Tolmie/Ptolemy.

Anyway, I spent the afternoon of my thirty seventh birthday up at the Royal Free Hospital collecting three months worth of HIV drugs and while I was up there I had them take a blood sample because it has been twelve months since I finished my Hep C treatment and six months since I had my SVR, which was all clear by the way. I just want to see if it is all gone still, if you know what I mean. The results will be ready in a week or two. I'll be sure to post the results here as soon as I get them.

Then later on, My Mum made a very tasty turkey dinner at my request and Tania was there too with her two kids Millie & Daisy. Then on my way home I popped in to see Jac . She is taking me out on Sunday night to a restaurant in Betchworth, right near to where they filmed a bunch of Blakes 7 & Dr Who episodes back in the late seventies/early eighties. I Love my birthday...and all my Lovely cards. The picture at the top of this post is Jac's card.

The day before my Birthday I visited my Dad, who lives just around the corner and we played, as we always do when I 'pop' round, Tiger Woods golf on his PS2. He beat me, which is very unusual! But I did get two eagles in a row, which was nice. And we also watched an episode of "Worlds Most Amazing Videos" half of which is footage of American cops chasing American baddies in high speed pursuits and the other half of yet more baddies demanding cash from various petrol stations and convenience stores, mostly at gun point, some knives and even a man dressed as Darth Vader wielding a wooden stick in place of a light sabre! He eventually got away with nothing, as the owner of the store fought him off with nothing more than a mop!

My twin Nicola and I were very kindly taken out for some yummy Chinese food on Friday evening. Nicola's husband Lee took us to a local restaurant. It has a ceiling that if you look up, it looks like you're looking into space...sort of. Thousands of tiny stars, twinkling just like real ones. I think I was a little quiet during the evening, because earlier when I was cycling in Richmond Park alone, My path crossed with a fellow mountain biker (or should that be fellowette?) and a few words were exchanged, like Wow!, isn't it windy and the like. Then, because I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, I sped off! Although I really didn't want to at all! I wanted to chat a bit and see what we had in common and find out where else she rides etc...but I went! And as soon as I did, I felt totally and utterly deflated and miserable! And I kind of felt that way for the rest of the day! I just couldn't get the chance meeting out of my head. I just know that I will be looking for her the same time next week. Am I a weirdo or what? Why did I feel like that?

My Mum said that when I was born back in January 1971, it was cold, wet and miserable weather! This week has been quite nice, with sunny spells and a temperature that is above average. I wish it was snowing though. I Love the fact that I was born at 01:13 in the morning. I'd have hated it if I had been born at two in the afternoon or something like that! How boring would that have been? I'm pretty sure that this is the reason that I Love the night time so much...especially between the hours of midnight and 02:00. The thought of knowing that most of everyone else in the area is either asleep or trying to get to sleep, while I am awake, makes me feel all nice and warm inside.

While I was at my mums yesterday night I had a few questions for her that I had written down on a small piece of paper. They were questions about my birth and as soon as I began asking her the questions she asked if I was worried that she might die soon! Of course not, I said. I just want them for my Birthday blog. She'll be sixty five in March. She's not gonna die yet!!
Anyway, this is what I found out; I was born at one thirteen on the Saturday morning of January the twenty third in nineteen seventy one, along with my twin Nicola who was born a whole seven minutes later at one twenty in the morning. My mum wasn't expecting twins and the nurses had no idea that there were two of us in that big belly of my mums! In those days my mum was over weight. They would have know that she had twins if the machine that detects things like that wasn't actually broken. So when she went into labour at about 19:30pm on the Friday night of the 22nd January they were only expecting one. So when 01:13 came along, a whole five and three quarter hours later out I popped. I was fat, round and bald, weighing in at a healthy 8.8lbs. And when I was born a little black nurse came over to push the afterbirth out and soon realized that it was in fact another baby. She was so small that she had to stand on a box to reach my mums bed!
Then came Nicola. Seven minutes later and skinny, scrawny with a head covered in tiny little veins like a newly hatched bird. She weighed in at 7.4lbs. Our combined weights are 15.12lbs. Add them up and what do you get? Yay!!
I also asked where our names came from. I was almost a Nicholas at one point. Nicola & Nicholas. Nicholas after my mums Sisters boy. He died when he was just 16 when he was hit by a car whilst out on his motorbike! The car wheels crushed his chest and he died instantly! Instead I was named after a TV cowboy called Jason, which was popular at the time I was born...or the actor that played him was called Jason. Either way, they liked it enough to name me after him. My middle name was just something they both liked. Nicola was probably named after Nicholas. My mum wasn't too sure. Her middle name "Kerry" was basically taken from Kerrygold butter. Interesting!

So, on to the end of the week of my thirty seventh birthday. On Thursday evening I went kayaking as usual, over at Ealing pool. Still got my rolls going. Then on Sunday (tonight), Jac took me to a restaurant called "Arkle Manor" in Betchworth. Very Lovely place indeed. We were both stuffed to the brim with yummy food. I was glad to have gotten in a 21 miles bike ride that afternoon in a very bust Richmond Park! I filmed Jac for ten minutes just eating chocolate ice cream and waffling on about god knows what (no doubt offensive;). I have threatened to post it onto my Youtube;)
On our way out of the restaurant and back to the car, I was sure that I could see "The Liberator" and it's crew suspended in amongst the billion and one twinkling stars that perfectly punctured the cloudless, icy black night sky! I wish I was with them! Teleport NOW!!!

Thank you everyone for such a Lovely week and for all the wonderful cards and birthday wishes:)

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"Twenty Four Hours"

2008-01-18T12:33:00.000Z

I didn't know I was so popular;)

Confused by the post's title?...read on my friends:)

Today's post is mostly music related in that in a game (I know of two others, Ros & Blah Blah Blah, to have done it too) I have answered a series of questions with answers generated from my itunes library set to random (see below...treat your blog today, it's fun:)

Also, I thought that I'd better let you all know that my cold and chest infection have all gone away (seems I don't deserve to die) and I am all well again! I am however, still just as (if not more so) paranoid/worried about getting more bugs & germs! But what can I do? I can't exactly hide myself away from the rest of the world in the hope that I will live forever! I mean how boring would that be? Besides, I don't think that would work anyway because I have even gotten into thinking that maybe the germ that I caught this time around came from (amongst many other possible sources) the top floor flat and found it's way down to the ground floor and snuck into my bedroom window! I mean if cigarette smoke can, then killer bugs can too!

And also also, I just noticed (as if...I was waiting;) that my blog has reached it's 9,000 visitors mark since September 2006 with a whopping 17,300 page views too! I didn't realize how popular my blog was! I know some of you that come here and even though I sometimes wonder why, I can't thank you enough for being there and making me feel a little less lonely.

And also also also, I shall be 37 next Wednesday (23rd) and wondered what, if anything, I could do for it? Any suggestions?

Enjoy the game:)

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
Why Can't I Be You? (The Cure)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Beat City (The Raveonettes)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Ice Cream (The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster) "She walked up to me, and shouting, she said,
The woman she's wild, and she's got me slaving.
She wants to destroy everything I Love"

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Pop Is Dead (Radiohead)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
The Birth And Death Of The Day (Explosions In The Sky)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Big Sky (Kate Bush)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
My Love Paramour (The Cocteau Twins)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Blast Off (The Birthday Party)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
Get On The Floor (Michael Jackson)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Persons & Machinery (Unkle)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Thinner The Air (Trance To The Sun) (A tribute to The Cocteau Twins)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Man On The Moon (Grinderman)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
There There (Radiohead)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Autosuggestion (Joy Division)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Angels & Devils (Echo & The Bunnymen)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Eraser (Thome Yorke)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Chance (Joy Division)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Little Thoughts (Bloc Party)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Mad (Dalek I)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Crown Of Love (Arcade Fire)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Twenty Four Hours (Joy Division)

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"All I Need"

2008-01-09T22:32:00.000Z

...six days and counting!

I am your next death,
waiting outside your room.
I am your nobody,
trapped under your no good germ.
I am all your days,
that should have been mine.
I am here for good,
so you can be fine.

I am your best bet,
for keeping you well.
I am all you need,
to keep me in your hell.
I am here to stay,
by this darkened door of yours.
one hand on the frame,
two feet in your hungry jaws.

I only stay with you,
in this germ house of yours.
To keep me busy,
away from all fours.
I won't be around,
when you really need me.
I am not going to give you,
what you need to be free.

Unless I deserve it,
then leave me alone.
Go fuck yourself,
stay away from my home.
You can have me,
when I am ready,
anytime but today.
And when tomorrow comes,
then you may take me away.

Jason (back to normal in a few days)

Photo is an original Banksy stencil I took back in April 2004 in the back streets of Brick Lane.

(C) JPT 2008.........34.57 miles.

"My Cycling for December 2007"

2008-01-01T21:51:00.000Z

My one rainy eye on December 6th, Richmond Park.

Firstly, Happy New Year to everyone that knows me, and to everyone that doesn't. Basically everyone in the Universe!

May 2008 be the greatest year of your life yet! And don't forget, if it vibrates...sit on it;)

Goodness me, what a month! I'm exhausted!

Did I make my goal? I think you already know from my previous post, but if you want to, you can see below just how I finished the year off.
It's nice to know now that I can relax a little and not worry about no deadline! I won't be setting myself another goal for this year, but I will still keep a log of my trips and mileage and see what it is at the end of 2008.

Here is to a good year for everyone that I know...and for me too:)

See you at The Water Rats in London for the New Years Evil party with The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster headlining.

Happy New Year:)

Sunday 2nd December 2007 @ 18:00pm, RP, 19.03 miles, av 12.4, max 24 mph, 1hr 32mins, cool, dry but puddles all around the Tamsin Trail, dark, very windy too, temp 7 (felt like 3), wind 21. Went out on Dessert Storm tonight (hardtail) and didn't I tell the difference! My ankles were a pain all night long and my arm was sore to boot! My left knee (the back of) was quite sore when going up the hills tonight, And for some reason, I woke up Monday morning with a terrible sore throat too! Hope it isn't a cold! Total 3310.9 miles.

Tuesday 4th December 2007 @ 20:00pm, HH, Lee, Ian, Paul & James, James brought along his brand new Orange 5, Ian came along but after just a few hundred meters his rear derailler broke and he had to go home, 8.82 miles, av 6.3, max 17 mph, 1hr 23mins, dry and quite mild, dark & windy, I almost came off towards the reservoir and managed to cut the back of my right shin (probably on my pedal) in the process, temp 14, wind 18. Total 3319.7 miles.

Thursday 6th December 2007 @ 17:30pm (see photo above for this ride), RP, 18.05 miles, av 13.3, max 27.7 mph, 1hr 21mins, very mild and raining with quite strong winds, I took Dessert Storm tonight, dark, temp 15 (far too warm for this time of year!), wind 17. Total 3337.8 miles.

Friday 7th December 2007 @ 18:45pm, Lee & Ian, RP, BP, 25.6 miles, av 11.4, max 24.6 mph, 2hrs 11mins, dark, cold, windy & muddy. Total 3362.8 miles.

Sunday 9th December 2007 @ 18:00pm, RP, Dessert Storm again, 18.12 miles, av 13.2, max 30.9 mph, 1hr 22mins, dark, cool, spitting, temp 8, wind 9. Total 3381 miles.

Monday 10th December 2007 @ 19:45pm, RP, Elvis, 19.55 miles, av 11, max 24.8 mph, 1hr 46mins, dark, cool, temp 5, wind 9. after about 17 miles I did a silly thing where I jumped off a curb onto the road and as I was doing this, my right foot came out of the pedal and wasn't quite back on the pedal as I landed heavily and this put tremendous stress on my right ankle joint...I could have passed out for all the pain that I felt! I really thought that I had broken the bloody thing and the last few miles were excruciating to say the least! What a bloody silly twat eh! I had a big injection of 3000 nits as soon as I got home and have been resting it all day today (the day after), the weather is brilliant for riding at the moment and all going well, I should be back out tomorrow (Wednesday) with a ride in the Reigate Hills with Phil. Plus my nose is still running like a snot tap...seems I still have my cold too! Got to reach my goal!!!!!!!!! Less than 200 miles left to go until the 1st Jan 08! Total 3400.5 miles.

Wednesday 12th December 2007 @ 20:00pm, HH, Ian, Paul, Jerry, 8.80 miles, av 6.9, max 21.5 mph, 1hr 16mins, very cold, frozen terrain with sections of sticky mud and iced up puddles and frosted grass, a spoke on my rear wheel (Elvis) managed to break and buckled the wheel a little, Temp 1, wind 4. Total 3409.3 miles.

Thursday 13th December (Happy Birthday Dad:) 2007 @ 13:30pm, BP, 12.8 miles, av 14.4, max 18.8 mph, 50mins, cold & dry, Dessert Storm, temp 5, wind 5. Total 3421.4 miles.

Friday 14th December 2007 @ 18:45pm, Ian, RP, 25.6 miles (25 of which were quite sore;), av 11.4, max 23.2 mph, 2hrs 15mins, dry'ish, dark and cold, after just half a mile on my way to Richmond Park Gate to meet Ian, I slipped on the road by Teddington Studios and nearly slid into a car coming in the opposite direction! My front tyre slipped on the slippery tarmac and within the blink of an eye I slammed into the road on my left side and hurt my left hip (graze), left wrist & left palm, a graze on my inside right shin and even a little graze on my ring finger too, left shoulder and hit my head too (my helmet thankfully)! Busted my watch which I only got new batteries for the other day, tore a little hole in my glove and felt like a right twat to boot! My bike seems ok although I haven't looked at it properly yet in the daylight. But...I was very lucky to only have the injuries that I received and for that I am grateful. I feel ok now (the next day) and although my hip is really sore, I will be fine'ish for my next bike ride tomorrow (Sunday). Temp 5, wind 8. Total 3447 miles.

Sunday 16th December 2007 @ 15:10pm, RPx2 and tow-path, 28.5 miles, av 11.8, max 24.6 mph, 2hrs 22mins, sunset then dark, dry and cold, hip was still sore where it was rubbing on the lining of my cycling pants and my left palm still hurt, temp 2, wind 5. Total 3475.1 miles.

Monday 17th December 2007 @ 20:28pm, BP & tow-path, 13.10 miles, av 12, max 18.9 mph, 1hr 5mins, dark, cold & windy, palm still sore but hip tolerable, temp 3, wind 16. Total 3488.2 miles.

Tuesday 18th December 2007 @ 16:30pm, RP, 17.15 miles, av 11.6, max 23.7 mph, 1hr 28mins, dark and cold, windy, hip more of less fine now but left palm still sore when I lean on it on the grips!, temp 3, wind 9. Total 3503.3 miles. Less than 100 miles left to go:)

Wednesday 19th December 2007 @ 18:00pm, BP, 15.03 miles, av 12.1, max 18.9 mph, 1hr 15mins, cold and dark, Hampton Court have their ice rink set up and merry-go-round with horses, you can see the lights shooting up from the palace from the other side of Bushy Park, temp 0, wind 5. Total 3520.3 miles. Not far to go now eh:)

Friday 21st December 2007 @ 15:00pm, RP, 19.88 miles, av 12.2, max 23.8 mph, 1hr 37mins, dark & cold Winter Solstice, temp 2, wind 6. Total 3540.2 miles.

Saturday 22nd December 2007 @ 20:00pm, RP, 19.86 miles, av 11.8, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 40mins, dark, cool, rained a little, I saw a little Badger too sniffing about in the undergrowth, temp 7, wind 4. Total 3560.1 miles.

Sunday 23rd December 2007 @ 19:00pm, RP, av 11.8, max 21.6 mph, 1hr 17mins, foggy, cold, dark and deserted, temp 1, wind 3. Total 3575.2 miles.

Tuesday 25th December 2007 (Christmas Day) @ 21:20pm, RP, 15.19 miles, av 12.7, max 28.5 mph, 1hr 12mins, dry, clear, bright moonlit evening, damp after rain most of the day, temp 4, wind 7. Total 3590.4 miles.

Thursday 27th December 2007 @ 18:00pm, 10.32 miles, Leith Hill (see blog for this date), av 6.4, max 21.6 mph, 1hr 36mins, dark, very mild, muddy trails, temp 11, wind 18. Total 3600.7 miles!!!!!!!!! I did it then!

Sunday 30th December 2007 @ 15:40pm, 27.18 miles, RPx2, av 13.1, max 25.9 mph, 2hrs 4mins, cool, dusk then dark, temp 9, wind 6. Total 3627.9 miles.
As you can see, I finished on a mileage that adds up to my beloved 9...both for the day and for the year. It isn't a jammy coincidence that that happened. Once I arrived back home, I had to ride up and down my road a mile or so to get it right. Only me eh;)

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........3627.9 miles for the year...I did it!

"My Kayaking for December 2007"

2008-01-01T21:42:00.000Z

Me on the Thames near where I live, 20th December 2007. My flat is just up and around the corner just past Teddington Lock, on the right. That is Eel Pie Island on the left and just under the sun (if you know what i mean;) is Radnor Gardens if you want to check it out on Google Maps?

Not too many paddles this month I'm afraid! I was just too busy trying to reach my mileage goal and also the pool in Ealing shut for the Christmas period and well, the River Thames is just so god damn coooold!!!

Thursday 13th December 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, 90mins, I didn't come last week as I had a cold and didn't want to aggravate it...i reckon I got it from the pool in the first place! I almost went but instead stayed in and had a nice long hot bath whilst listening to my ipod:), Ian was there tonight, Lee was Christmas shopping in Kingston and couldn't come. Tonight will be the last session at the pool until early January next year. So any more kayaking you see here in December will be out on the River Thames...I hope to get at least a couple of river runs in before the new year. Plus it was my Dad's 67th Birthday today and he & I went to see my youngest Sister Tania, Millie & Daisy for a Lovely pre-kayaking dinner of sausages & mash with big fat marrow peas with gravy:) MMMmmm! Happy Birthday Dad:)

Thursday 20th December 2007 @ 15:00pm, River Thames, Twickenham to Teddington Lock and back again, freezing bloody cold, the river bank was frosty with ice in places!, beautiful sunset (see photos for this post), temp 4, wind 6.

Me freezing my nuts off just for you;) 20th Dec, 2007...same position as above photo.

Jason

(C) JPT 2008.........

"Three Thousand Six Hundred"

2007-12-27T23:40:00.000Z

Elvis & I on Leith Hill tonight just moments after reaching my goal of 3600 miles.

That's it! I did it! All done! And with just four days left to go before my goal deadline. In fact, I could have finished yesterday or the day before, but with a slightly longer ride to finish. But I noticed the 27th coming up and thought I'd let my obsession for the one and only numeral nine get to me yet again.
I'm happy that it's over too. The goal I mean. When I first set the goal back on Jan 1st 2007, I didn't really know wether I could achieve it. I very basically calculated what I might have done the year before (2006...the year I was on treatment for Hep C) and I think I came up with about three thousand odd miles and thought I'd try and beat it. The exact figure 3600 came about because that would be my age (36) in 2007 too...plus I don't need to tell you all about my Love affair with the number nine;)

So really, I wasn't entirely sure if I would clock that many miles at all by the end of 2007 and when August eventually arrived and I was up to 2700 odd miles, only then did I think it was reachable. I know that 3600 miles isn't that many miles for a whole year and I am sure some people cycle that every year of their lives just by going to work and back. But for me it was a challenge. For one thing it was mostly all off road. And also, I'd say half of it was cycling up hills...not to mention the hundreds of miles of mud and wind and rain too. And not wanting to complain, all the hundreds of miles of pain also. The pain in my right elbow and both ankles have kept me company for a fair few of those miles let me tell you!
Plus there were a few falls and a cold that threatened to bugger things up near the end, but after my last fall back on Friday 14th December, where I was cycling on just a normal piece of road very near to my house and on my way to meet Ian by Richmond Gate at Richmond Park, I thought that I'd better slow down and take it easy a little. It wasn't as bad as the two times I fell onto my knee up in the hills previously, but it could have been so much worse! I was going too fast into a 90 degree bend in the road by Teddington Studios and my front tyre slipped on the wet tarmac of the road and down I went with a wallop and almost slid into a car coming in the opposite direction! It did hurt at the time and I even managed to wreck my watch which I had only just bought new batteries for the week before. And my left hand still doesn't feel right where it slammed palm down into the road. And I still have a scab on my left hip where it slid across the icy asphalt.
Anyway, I got up and painfully continued with my ride completing 25 miles in the end. I was just happy that I didn't slide into that car and that my joints were ok. But, it also made me think that I needed to slow down a little and think about the dangers I was putting myself in every time I was going out on my bike...especially in the winter and mostly all at night and alone! So after one days rest, I decided to really take things easy and not go anywhere where I might fall and to slow down in the ice and this way I might just reach my goal. Two days after the fall I went out more or less everyday to make sure that I did. You can see from my "My Cycling for December 2007" post (will be posted on Jan 1st 2008) just how much I was going out. Not particularly long rides, but long enough and as you can see they were all mostly alone too. Which meant that I wasn't under any pressure to keep up or lead etc (but they are much more boring alone!). I even managed to get a ride in on the beautifully moonlit night of Christmas Day itself (see photo below).

Christmas for me this year was alright. This time last year I was coming to the end of my treatment for Hep C and although I was having a relatively fine time on it, I was still thinking a lot as to wether or not it would work. So this year was much better not just because I was not on tx anymore, but mainly because my 50wks of treatment worked just fine and now I am cured of one of my viruses. I did however, have a terrible mouth ulcer during this Christmas period being at it's worst on Christmas Day and Boxing Day! It has cleared up now...It isn't often one can say just how wonderful the drug Thalidomide is.
So onto my ride tonight. The ride where my trip computer flipped over to three thousand six hundred. When I set out, I had approximately ten miles to go and thought that a ride around Richmond Park just wouldn't do. So in the car the bike went and Elvis & I made our way to Leith Hill as I knew that a single loop of the hill is about ten miles long and would be quite nice if I finished by the tower...which is exactly how it turned out. I was alone and took my time not to have any accidents up there. The trail was absolutely water logged from recent rain and in parts the trail was simply a mud bath! The exposed tree roots were as slippery as ever and to make matters more interesting the temperature during the ride was at a steady 12 degrees! Shouldn't it be freezing cold at the end of December, at night and in the middle of the English countryside?
It was a nice ride in the end, albeit quite muddy, but with no falls, no crashes and no broken spokes either. I started my night ride at the trail that leads up to Leith Hill tower from High Ashes Farm, went up to it passing it by, down the rock, rooty slope that I would use as the setting for my photo at the end of the ride, past what has to be the highest cricket pitch in South East England, down past Deliverance and into a very mucky Waggledance. Next was Summer Lightning and all her roots, twists and turns. At the bottom of SL brings you out by the medieval ancient boundary that is Wolvens Lane, which is a total mud bath at this time of year. Then a little road section that winds it way up and down to a tiny village called Broadmoor, then back into Leith Hill forest and onto the long and slow rooty, muddy trail back up to the tower. I was all alone for the entire ride. No other humans at all...pure bliss. I was spooked though when a lone bunny rabbit decided to run out in front of me, almost finding himself squished under my big fat knobbly tyres! And as I said earlier, after just over ten miles for the day and three thousand six hundred for the year, I was back up by Leith Hill tower, where I then went and found the spot where I posed for my very first photo for this blog back in August 2006 (it's still there if you want to look). It is literally yards away from the tower down a rather steep, rocky, rooty section. I set my camera up and took several shots and ended up with what you see above.
I don't think I will set a goal for next year, but I will continue to log my trips and mileage. There are a few decent length rides planned for next year already in between my normal rides and no doubt their details will be posted here.

Me and my back light in Richmond Park on the beautifully moonlit night of Christmas Day.

Happy New Year my blogging buddies:)

Jasonxx

Update; Today, as I was washing my bike I discovered yet another broken spoke nipple on my rear wheel from Thursday nights ride! So, free of charge, Nirvana Cycles in Westcott have said they will replace all the alloy spoke nipples with stronger brass nipples. Sounds good to me:) Brass nipples indeed!
In fact, I took it in this afternoon (Saturday) and got a call at six saying they are already done. Brass nipples here I come;)

(C) JPT 2007.........3600.7 miles. YAY!!!!!!!!!

"Little Boy Dead"

2007-12-18T13:23:00.000Z

Dead lorry, yellow lorry...

Wow-wee! Just look at his new bike all shiny and sparkling clean. He can't take his big flying saucer eyes off of it's brightly coloured frame. The spokes on the wheels go round and round in the scorching mid-afternoon sun like two Catherine wheels side by side on Bon-fire night. The sun is almost directly behind him and pushes him and his long shadow down the road like a space rocket and it's pilot. The untouched tread on the bikes tyres buzz along the hot tarmac, sounding like giant bumble-bees on a mission, as they give the little boy the grip he needs to look so bloody cool!
All of this reflected in the shops giant spotless glass windows that line the little street where he is just the proudest young boy in the universe. With his smile stretched right the way across his glowing face, his pupils dart here and there over the surface of his new bike and then back across to the shop windows, where he can see himself in the reflection. It's just like watching a video. He's so excited to be free, with the wind in his hair and all the pedestrians dotted along the pavement watching him go so fast. He reminds me of myself when I was a young boy.

I can see the look that is plastered across his face is very special indeed. He is alive. He is free!

He soon runs out of road to travel on. To escape.

He has to turn around and go back the way he came from. Back towards the sun. He brakes. The wire cables invisibly slide in their little black tubes as he pulls the silver brake lever until he comes to a squeaky standstill. The brake pads haven't worn in yet as everything is still so perfectly new. He notices several other little boys by their parents side standing on the pavement, staring in awe at his brand new machine. He looks back at his bike and feels the thing under his bottom and in his hands. The weight and the sparkle are intoxicating to him and he is very happy that it belongs to him and no one else.

He looks back up the road and squints where the sun is staring right at him and makes his eyes become a little watery. A few yards away a giant lorry slowly exits a side road and makes it's huge heavy way onto the same road as this boy and his bike. He hears the lorries massive engine as it slowly rolls towards him and looks back at it and is again blinded by the suns reflection in the lorries windscreen. The boy decides to cycle alongside it and maybe race up the road a little way. The lorry is very slow moving and very noisy. He Loves lorries and engines. The roar and vibrations, and the fumes and giant rotating rubber clad wheels. The hissing of air brakes and the low thunderous rumble of the engine as the driver changes gear reminds him of the sound all the monsters in the world might make if they were to roar all at once. So exciting!

Soon the two machines are side by side and it is just the boy and the lorry now. Nothing else matter besides this wonderful partnership between two very different machines and their operators.
The lorry with it's most powerful engine, numerous wheels and long metal body. The driver of this beast unseen as he shifts from gear to gear in his effort to pull this monster up to the end of the road. And the boy on his brand new bike, sleek, light and almost silent but for the humming of the tyres. He pedals hard to keep up.

The lorry obviously has the better speed and very slowly begins to pass the boy by. Gigantic wheel by gigantic wheel appear at the boys side and then disappear and are then replaced by yet another set of humongous wheels. The back wheels of the lorry are fast approaching and the boy can see that his efforts are useless, and afraid of being outdone by the lorry completely, he pulls his bike up onto it's back wheel in an attempt to end this race in style.

The young ones amongst the bystanders are amazed at the sight of this manoeuver...until it seems to go wrong! Badly wrong!

The boy and the bike have gone back too far and the bike reaches a point where there is nowhere else for it to go except all the way over. The look on the boys face changes instantly to one of absolute fear as soon as he realizes that his wheelie has gone terribly wrong and he is now expecting to feel the hardness of the roads surface as he lands on his back. His eyes close, teeth clench and his hands let go of the bikes grips as he waits for the inevitable impact of body on concrete.

But it is much much worse than that!

He has failed miserably and little does he know that this exact moment in time will be the very end of his very young and beautiful life.

As he hits the road he rolls slightly to the left and towards the undercarriage of the lorry. The huge set of wheels at the very rear of the lorry are quietly rolling along the hot tarmac still. The noise of the engine being an age away down the street now. The invisible driver none the wiser as to what is happening.

The boy still has his eyes closed and teeth clenched as the heavy wheels of the lorry roll over and onto his little head! His bike bounces the other way into a clear part of the road and comes to a standstill resting on it's side. The driver knows something has happened by now and stops instantly, the big black monsters that are the wheels tyres come to a standstill on top of the boys completely crushed head. The lorries brakes hiss and clunk. The light colour of his brain has been forced through his completely smashed skull and has found a new home on the scorching hot tarmac of the road along with a pool of dark red blood, increasing in size by the second. His body is completely lifeless as the onlookers begin to fill the street with screams. He doesn't even twitch. His life has gone away from him in an instant. But to many, including myself, he is still on his brand new bike, riding up and down the wonderfully sun shiny street.

I walk over to him. I am the only one that approaches him. I kneel down by the life-ending wheel. The heat emanating from the lorry is uncomfortable and the sound of tiny clicks and ticks and intermittent hisses coming from the lorry almost deafen me. The boy is unrecognizable to me as the mess of brain, hair, blood, skin and skull fill my vision. I look over to his frozen body, sprawled lifeless under the lorries rear end, and slowly follow it back up to where his smiling face should be and try my very hardest to envisage where his eyes might have been just seconds earlier.
It's all gone! Everything has gone and now he is dead! Just like that.

As I stare into the small mound of young human gore, I suddenly get the urge to feel him...to hold him and really feel him and his little life and his memories in my shaking hands. I lean over closer to him. My knees hurt as the weight of my body press down onto the hardness of the rough road and dig into my skin and bones. I put my hands gently into his wrecked brain and scoop up as much as I can. He is quite hot still and feels so alive. I close my eyes as I bring the boy closer to my face and smell him. He smells fresh and clean, as if he is still alive. But as I open my eyes again, I can see that he is just a bloody broken mess and drips gently through my fingers.

Just a body.

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........3505.3 miles. (94.7 miles remaining)

"Hell's Darker Chamber"

2007-12-09T15:03:00.000Z

"Decades" By Joy Division

"Decades" is the longest ever song Joy Division wrote in a studio (6.08 mins), it comes from their second and final album "Closer" which was first released back in 1980. It was recorded between March 18th - March 30th in my home City of London.
"Decades" is also the very last track on the album. It was originally going to be called "Cross of Iron" but was changed just before the album was recorded.

Ian Curtis, Joy Division's lead singer and writer of all their songs committed suicide on May 18th, 1980, just days before they were about to fly out to America for their first ever tour of the country.

The dark lyrics and sad, very depressing tone of this track shows you just how ill Ian was.

Although not my favourite Joy Division song, It is still a truly beautiful song, and reminds me of what happened to me and many other's like me as very young men (& women) trying to live within some very difficult times.

Also, you may find the first line of the song familiar. It is where I got the title for my Blog from.

"Decades"

Here are the young men, the weight on their shoulders,
Here are the young men, well where have they been?
We knocked on the doors of hells darker chamber,
Pushed to the limit, we dragged ourselves in,
Watched from the wings as the scenes were replaying,
We saw ourselves now as we never had seen.
Portrayal of the trauma and degeneration,
The sorrows we suffered and never were free.

Where have they been?
Where have they been?
Where have they been?
Where have they been?

Weary inside, now our hearts lost forever,
Cant replace the fear, or the thrill of the chase,
Each ritual showed up the door for our wanderings,
Open then shut, then slammed in our face.

Where have they been?
Where have they been?
Where have they been?
Where have they been?

Jason

(C) JPT.........3381 miles.

"Interpol & The Dead, Dead Cold of Night"

2007-12-05T12:24:00.000Z

Jac at Interpol's Alexandra Palace gig on 30.11.07.

Seems the plague cannot be avoided after all. Who am I trying to kid? Dodging germs and family members & friends whom I think might have a 'germ'. Opening my Mums front room window less than one inch on a Saturday night to let out any bad things that might get into my body and kill me. The same thing goes in my car, in my flat...even though I am all alone. If the window is open even for just a few millimeters, means that I won't catch a cold or even worse flu or a terrible chest infection...then death!

It doesn't really work does it? It's all in my mind isn't it?

I have behaved in this way ever since I was first told of my HIV infection back in 1987. You ask any one of my friends and family and they will tell you just how paranoid I am about germs and the like. My mum used to joke that anybody getting in my car with shower before they did so. The first thing that I would (and still do) is to look see, upon entering a house, whether a window might be open. If it isn't open, I will then open one just a few millimeters and then I find that I can relax a little better. But if it is a house where I don't feel comfortable about opening a window then I will just sit there worrying the whole time, breathing in such a way that won't let the germs in...and if god forbid I hear that someone has a cold in the same house a me, my mind explodes and I can't breathe nor think straight and all I want to do is leave and breathe in the air out in the street!

It really drives me mad sometimes. I'm not as bad as I used to be in the earlier days/years of my HIV infection, but it is still there with me, this bloody paranoia of getting a bug that I can't fight off and kills me dead!

So, I have this thing going on right now! I woke up yesterday morning with the sorest throat ever and a runny nose to boot. And this morning it is, I'd say, twice as bad as it was and I am beginning to ache over my body and I feel hot. It'll all be over in a week or so won't it? Or I will be dead by Christmas!

O.C.D Heaven...

I'm sorry if I worry you, but this is how it makes me feel inside my head. I know I will get better soon. I got a similar thing just after I finished my Hep C treatment and it went away after a bit. But it still made me think terrible thoughts.
I'll keep an eye on my chest and temperature and that is all I can do. I am most certainly not one to go to the doctors about it, like the majority of people do when they get a bug, clogging up the doctors waiting rooms with snot and germs, coughing and sneezing all over the place, infecting everyone else in there. The doctors can't do anything anyway! I have never gone to the doctors when I have a bad cold. I sort it out myself with stuff to relieve the symptoms and just rest indoors and stay away from everyone. Unless of course I think I might have a chest infection, where I will completely bypass my local GP and shoot on up to the RFH and see my HIV specialists.

I was hoping to visit Ros up in Kidderminster during this week (today to be exact) and Helen too, but won't be now as I really don't want to pass this on to anyone else! Especially this close to Christmas and so soon after Ros (& Helen for that matter) came out of hospital. Sorry girls! Sorry for being such a germ:(

It just occurred to me that my goal of 3600 miles for the year on my bike might not be accomplished now. I am up to 3320 miles at the time of writing this (Tuesday 4th December) and need to complete 290 miles by Jan 1st 2008! What with two knee injuries in the last month and now this poxy germ, I think that it might be a little difficult to complete. That'd be just over 10 miles per day, everyday until Jan 1st, starting tomorrow! Doesn't sound like much come to think of it. Is it possible? I don't rightly know, but what I do know is that I am going to do my best and reach my goal...or die trying!

It doesn't matter if I don't reach my goal does it? I mean, it's only a number right?

The photo is of (as if you hadn't already guessed;) my best (female) friend Jac. I took it on Friday night inside Alexandra Palace in North London. We met up with a couple of friends (Phil & Rob) to see a band called Interpol. Jac & I have seen them before a few years ago. The gig was alright, but the venue was far too big and the place was pretty full! We much prefer much smaller venues where you can almost (if you really want to) touch the band members. But it seems that Interpol have gotten a bit bigger over the years what with three albums under their belt now.
Jac disappeared for half an hour, making her way down to the front in the 'Mosh pit', whilst the others and I stood at the edge quite happy just to (discreetly) tap our feet to the beat.
They played some of their older stuff which I prefer and Jac's two Faves also..."Not Even Jail" & "PDA". My fave "Stella Was A Diver and She Was Always Down" wasn't played! Oh well. But, you can hear it below and see a rather nice video for it too, all at the same time...

Ok, what do you say to a 7ft man who, halfway through a gig, stands directly in front of you and blocks your view and goodness knows how many more, completely? Exactly! But not Phil. He reached up and tapped the man on the shoulder and motioned with his head to move somewhere else...which the tall man did and then strangely proceeded to walk right to the edge and face directly away from the band and play with his mobile phone. Strange or what!

Jason

(C) JPT.........3337.8

"My Kayaking for November 2007"

2007-12-05T12:06:00.000Z

Just me doing a hand roll in my little slice of orange this month.

Seems I managed to attend all four sessions at Ealing Pool this month, although for two of them my knee was swollen and on another I injured both my thumbs trying to pull somebody else's splash deck over my cockpit (fnar! fnar!) and it being too small pung back and bent my thumbs back a bit...they still hurt now! I was upside down at the time (entering a capsized kayak, fitting the splash deck and rolling back up right) and holding my breath for well over a minute as I was doing all this...that's my excuse anyway;) I managed to complete the move btw, but the kayak was half full with water!

Thursday 1st November 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, 90mins, I was all alone more or less tonight, Lee couldn't make it, Ian was sick and James didn't come either, Owen was there but was teaching someone to roll, the new guy (Paul) who drives the Bentley Continental GT learned to roll in just two sessions. Seems like a nice bloke.

Thursday 15th November 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, 90mins, I missed last weeks due to a fall on my bike and damaging my right knee!, Lee & Ian, more hand rolls.

Thursday 22nd November 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, 90mins, right knee ok now, but left knee puffy from a fall on Tuesday night in Swinley Forest on my bike, Owen filmed Becky & I performing synchronized hand rolls, Ian.

Thursday 29th November 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, 90mins, tonnes of rolls, very tiring!...but fun:)

Jason

(C) JPT.........

"My Cycling for November 2007"

2007-12-05T11:43:00.000Z

Me, Elvis and my car...that has no name, in the car park at Swinley Forest in November 2007.

Two knee injuries this month (see 6th & 20th) on different knees! You know, if I had three knees, I'd have injured the third one too. Otherwise, I survived November despite all the rain and mud and very slippery roots etc! You gotta do it though ain't ya.
I'm getting close to the end of the year now and my goal of 3600 miles seems a long way off when I look at what is remaining in one lump sum, but in reality it is only just over 10 miles per day until Jan 1st 2008 (I have 280 miles left to complete). Will I do it? Will I have another injury to prevent me once and for all? Will the cold that I have got last too long and help scupper my chances? Or will I do it by the skin of my teeth? We'll see my friends, we'll see:)

Friday 2nd November 2007 @ 19:30pm, RP, 16.15 miles, av 13.9, max 24.5 mph, 1hr 9 mins pedaling, mild, clear & dark, temp 14, wind 3. Total 3169.40 miles...(2776 miles Cateye)

Saturday 3rd November 2007 @ 12pm, PH, WW, Phil, 10.43 miles, av 8.1, max 24. 9 mph, 1hr 17mins, Phil got attacked by a very big dog in the middle of Winterfold Woods, sunny, dry, mild, temp 16, wind 6. Total 3179.83 miles...(2786.8 miles Cateye)

Tuesday 6th November 2007 @ 20:00pm, LH, Lee, James, Paul & Gerry, 9.74 miles, av 7.5, max 21.4 mph, 1hr 17mins pedaling, I had another fall all because I couldn't get my foot out of the pedal in time! Ouch!! dark...think I might have to swap back over to my V12 flats for the winter, dry, mild, temp 9, wind 9. Total 3189.57 miles...(2796.5 miles Cateye)

Sunday 11th November 2007 @ 18:30pm, RP, 14.21 miles, av 12.1, max 23.3 mph, 1hr 10mins pedaling, cool & windy, knee seemed ok'ish on the ride but my ankles were playing me up because of walking funny because of my knee and my knee was quite sore after I got back home. Total 3203.78 miles...(2810.7 on Cateye)

Monday 12th November 2007 @ 18:45pm, RP, 15.85 miles, av 12, max 25.5 mph, 1hr 19mins pedaling, cold, dark, clear, Ian's first time on bike since his ankle injury at the end of July! Temp 4, wind 5. Total 3219.63 miles...(2826.6 miles on Cateye)

Wednesday 14th November 2007 @ 18:45pm, RP, Ian & Andy, 17.37 miles, av 11.5, max 21 mph, 1hr 30mins pedaling, clear, dark & cold, temp 4, wind 3. Total 3239 miles...(2844 miles on Cateye)

Saturday 17th November 2007 @ 10:00am, Swinley Forest, Lee, Matt, James Rix, av 6, max 22 mph, out until 13:20pm'ish, I managed to loose my Cateye trip computer somewhere during the 6 mile ride. The weather was cloudy and cold, I wore my full length Gore bib for the first time, then when I dropped Lee off at home at 2pm I went back out alone and did one lap of RP from my flat. Temp 5, wind 0-7. Mileage in RP was 14 miles. Total 3259 miles.

Tuesday 20th November 2007 @ 20:00pm, Swinley Forest, Lee, Ian, James (Battle), Jerry, Paul and Peter, new Cateye sync'd with total mileage starting Jan 1st 2007, 8.34 miles, av 5.6, max 14 mph, 1hr 28 mins pedaling, back to car at 23:10pm after a very wet, slippery and muddy ride!, I had my flat pedals on and managed not to fall off because of being clipped in, I did fall off though and hurt my left knee during a steep decent and managed to do the splits and heard my knee crack (it didn't actually hit anything)! It's sore but I can walk, Ian's front derailer broke off and his chain snapped, James accidentally stepped on Ian's bad ankle, Ian fell off too but landed on his feet...he was using a very weak headlight to see with...so credit to Ian for not falling off more, James's tyre blew...we thought we had been shot at! His trye had a breach in it and his inner tube came through and exploded! We replaced it and it happened again after about 20 mins...hence the delay getting back to the cars. Everyone survived the ride...mostly;) Wind 9, temp 8. Total 3267.34 miles.

Friday 23rd November 2007 @ 19:00pm, 17.52 miles, RP, Ian & Owen, av 10.5 mph, max 22.2 mph, 1hr 40mins pedaling, dry & cold, Ian had a new light which was very good (Exposure Enduro MaXx) brighter than mine!, my left knee still hurt a little and was still puffy, saw a Badger run across the trail which was cool, we just about made it in time to Richmond Gate before they lock up for Deer culling!. Total 3264.8 miles.

Sunday 25th November 2007 @ 18:45pm, 18.22 miles, RP, av 12.9, max 25.2 mph, 1hr 24mins pedaling, cool & dry, moon looked full, saw another Badger running ahead of me on the trail behind the Royal Star & Garter building on my way to RP gate...he kept stopping and looked over his right shoulder to see if I was still coming, Knee still a little sore...nearer the back of the knee now, did one and a third laps starting at RG back to RG then back on myself and made it back to KG (Kingston Gate) at 8pm just before locking time, temp 6, wind 9. Total 3283 miles.

Tuesday 27th November 2007 @ 20:30pm, Swinley Forest, 8.88 miles, Lee, James, Paul, Jerry, Peter, (Ian was celebrating his Wife's Birthday so couldn't come) av 7, max 19.7 mph, 1hr 15mins, Paul had very minimal lights after his main lights were full of water! he did very well not to fall off more than he did and not kill himself in the process!, a spoke in my front wheel snapped out of the rim but was still fine to ride back to the car, it was dry and quite mild but still rather damp in there. I took my bike (Elvis) back to Nirvana Cycles in Westcott for repairs and a service for the Winter. £109 in total...new chain, new granny ring and middle ring, new cable set for the gears and a new rear cassette upgraded to an XT. Got Elvis back on Sunday. Total 3291.9 miles.

See you next time...

Jason

(C) JPT.........3319.7 miles.

"Blood Runneth Over"

2007-11-15T19:35:00.000Z

Biro drawing (by me) of my hand (and all injecting paraphernalia) and in the act of shooting up. (Thursday, March 1st 1979...8yrs 36 days old)

Why won't this child of ours stop fucking crying? Crying all the bloody time! Every time I pick the bastard thing up it cries! Non-fucking stop! People stare at me in the street God dammit...as if I'm hurting the boy deliberately! I'm not! I just don't know what to do anymore! The other one...the girl...she doesn't cry! She is as good as gold. Just lies there...like a little new born bird, just fallen from her safe and warm nest. You know what has happened don't you? The boy has taken all the tears that these twins were handed at birth two years ago and has decided to keep them all for himself! His Twin is in serious danger from drowning in his painful tears.

What am I doing wrong? We need to take him somewhere right? The Doctors? They may be able to tell us what is happening...what is wrong with him...fix him...make him better perhaps?

Well, Mr & Mrs Tolmie, we have done some tests on Jason and they tell us that he has severe Haemophilia "A". He is bleeding internally into his joints and this is what has caused him to cry out all the time. He must have been in some quite considerable pain. He will need to be treated for the rest of his life by way of injection directly into his bloodstream. A number of small blood transfusions, if & when needed, that we will administer for him here at the......are you all right Mr Tolmie?

My God! My Son is going to die......bleed to death! What did I do to deserve this? I am a good man! Why me? Why us?? Why him!?!

Please don't worry too much Mr Tolmie. These fabulous life saving injections I told you about are absolutely the right thing for him now and will begin to make things for your Son and indeed you and your Wife much more tolerable. It isn't a cure, but it will go some way to prevent Jason from bleeding too much into his joints. In fact, he will no doubt be able to lead a very normal & productive life. There are absolutely no reasons why he shouldn't be able to live just like any other boy of his age.

That was 34 years ago in the year of 1973. That was my Dad...feeling sick that his Son might not be normal...that he might not live beyond the age of ten! My Mum was fine with it more or less. She is stronger than my Dad. My Mum is like me. Strong!

I was treated, cared for & injected at Hammersmith Hospital, London, from the time I was diagnosed in 1973...just two years after I was born along with my twin Sister Nicola, until my Dad had me transferred to the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead, London around 1976, because the doctors at Hammersmith couldn't even find a vein for nine injections out of ten! My Mum & Dad were fed up with seeing me being held down by several doctors at a time whilst they tried to find a suitable vein in which to administer the vital life saving Factor VIII.
We can teach you to do the injections at home Mr Tolmie. It's a very straight forward procedure...here, take this orange and pretend it is your Sons little arm. Go on, it is just like skin.
Oranges indeed! Give me my Son's arm! I shall do it into his bloody arm!

Eventually, after we had been at the RFH for a while he was taught properly and on real veins (mine) and not a selection of fruit...and then when I was about nine years old I injected myself. I was getting fed up with my dads tobacco stained fingers and their discoloured uncut nails from years of electro plating, as sharp as an eagles talons scratching my soft skin as he pulled it back to tighten the vein so the needle would go in better. He never missed, but I wanted to be a grown up and inject myself. I have been doing it myself & at home ever since. I am still treated & cared for at the brilliant Royal Free Hospital...but a few times during all the care and treatment...I was given some very bad news!

Before the injections in the safety of my own bedroom there were hundreds of trips in speeding ambulances to the Royal Free Hospital, my second home, in the black of night. Sirens screaming! Red lights ignored! I was in agony! I was quiet. I was lonely. I was tired. I was scared. I was still in my pyjamas for goodness sakes! Clutching my arm, rocking it gently back & forth like a baby in agony! Stroking the ever so tight skin, ballooned from swelling, with the fingertips of my other hand...my good hand. I even told the driver which way to go sometimes when he got lost. Accident & Emergency waiting rooms full to the brim with face slashed drunks, escorted by burly Policemen. Blood stains on the walls...blood stains on the floor. I tried to hide from it all. Sitting still like a statue, trying with all my might to disappear into the plastic chairs...trying to count the ceiling lights reflected onto the surface of the grimy bandage strewn waiting room floor. Desperately doing my best not to make eye contact with the blood soaked maniac sitting directly opposite! The orange squash vending machine made my mouth water as people came and went with their drinks. I was too shy to speak...even to my dad. Three or four times a week in the middle of the night (my Mum took me in the day and my dad at night) three or four hours each time...waiting...waiting! I wanted to be at home in bed...or dead! Anywhere but here!

My Mum & Dad got used to all that shit pretty quick, as did I, what with talk of blood...talk of pain...talk of hospital appointments...talk of special schools in Alton, Hampshire...talk of this...talk of that...But not much talk of the things that normal, healthy boys get up to! You mustn't ride a BMX...no motorbikes...no climbing trees...no physical education at school...no bloody nothing! Just stay in doors and stick needles into yourself everyday. Did I listen to them? A little yes...just a little;)
As long as they both looked after me well and made sure I didn't fall over too many times...and injected me with this life saving blood whenever I had a 'Bleed'...yeah, I was pretty much wrapped in cotton wool as a kid. After all, I needed protecting right? I needed that kind of treatment didn't I? To make me all better right?

Make me all better? Things couldn't have gone more bloody wrong!

You see, in the intervening years since I was diagnosed with severe Haemophilia 'A' and today, I was treated with this miracle drug called Factor VIII. It came in various forms...liquid plasma from human blood in a bag (Cryoprecipitate)...a small hard block of 'Dried Factor VIII Fraction' in a large glass bottle...and more recently, a loose kind of powder, apparently a synthetic form of Factor VIII (Helixate NexGen & Bayer Kogenate...both recombinant products) made to act exactly the same as natural Factor VIII, in a tiny glass bottle. I am sure there were more kinds of Factor VIII that I was given, but I am afraid I don't remember them.
All good stuff right? All designed to help...to protect...to save lives!

Ok, it seems to have saved my life...as I don't seem to have died! But I did feel dead for a while! A long while in fact! Why you may ask? Ok, I'll tell you. You see, I was injecting this stuff...gallons of this wonder drug and little did I know, it wasn't as wonderful as one was led to believe! You see it had 'Stuff' in it that was bad! Viruses of all sorts...viruses no one knew were hiding there. Quite well hidden as it turns out! They did well to find me though! Definitely two that I know of...that I have been told about, maybe three of the filthy little bastards! Perhaps even more than that!

I don't know the in's & out's of all these viruses that were given to me. That ain't my job! There are people working all over the world to see that this job is carried out correctly. But, it seems someone wasn't doing their job very well one day...one month...one year... one decade! Of course 'They' won't admit to that will they! It wasn't me...It wasn't anything to do with us! Have a word with so and so & if you don't get any luck there, then try somewhere else! But it wasn't us! Now piss off...& die already! So we can forget that this ever happened! Go back to playing doctors again!

Yeah! Tell me about it sunshine!

So, then along came my Hepatitis C...a very long time ago, Probably when I took in my first injection of Factor VIII. I must have known about it! I knew something wasn't quite right! They had three or four Doctors trying to hold me still whilst they pushed the stuff inside of me! Not just the once, but numerous times over the first several years after being diagnosed with Haemophilia. Then when I was infected, something else must have registered and I just let them do it. Put it inside me. Fill me up...make my pain go away...take away the terrible swelling...make me all better again...save my life, remember?
Of course, I didn't really know what was happening! But someone must have right? You don't inject into little boys & girls veins without knowing what you were actually injecting! You wouldn't do that to your own children would you?
But they did to me and my friends, and my friends friends! Some of my friends are dead already! Buried...cremated...rotten in the ground! Gone! What happened there eh? What killed them? I got the same shit as them! Why ain't I dead? Why ain't they still alive? When will it be my turn in the ground? My turn to rot! My turn to disappear.

I didn't find out about the Hep C that I was given until around 1996 or so. I can't remember exactly...I suppose I could find out from the hospital, but what would the use be? After all, I had other things on my mind to prevent me from thinking about the Hep C. It was called HIV! I got it the exact same way as the dreaded Hep C! A prisoner & his cell mate gives blood...gets paid for it...tells his neighbour...gives more blood...more money...blood sent away to a lab...pretty packaging...fancy labels...But not clean! Definitely NOT clean! Give it to them funny bleeder types! Give it to them right where it hurts! They won't notice! No one gives a shit about them!

Then one sunny morning, I was on my way up to the Royal Free hospital to attend a regular haemophilia appointment. I was asked to enter this small windowless room & sit down. I had been in there loads of times in the past. A picture that I drew for Mrs Miller, my haemophilia social worker, was hung on the wall...a boy on a bicycle. My Mum was by my side all the while. A TV and video recorder sat at one of the room. And a little video camera screwed into the wall high in one corner.

"Do you mind if we record this?" They asked.

Of course I didn't think anything of it. I was sitting with my Mum, and two seasoned professionals in the medical world. I was 16 years old and had the rest of my life ahead of me. I was enjoying college, I was good at it, even had a girl called Becky in my class who was interested in me! I had never had a girlfriend before and the prospect of being with someone in that way was terrifying, but exciting too. I was and still am still quite shy! It took me three months to say yes to her!
So there I was in this tiny, cold, very quiet room. There was a soft toy sitting on a chair in the corner. Surely not for me! I was 16 years old in 1987. I don't want soft toys! Give me a computer magazine instead...Or a piece of paper to doodle on! Or at the very least a biro so I can draw on the back of my hand.
I didn't hear most of what was said. I very rarely took in much of anything my Doctors told me over the years. What I did hear though was; "Jason. You have HIV" "And You have had it for the last two years".

They explained to me what it meant, but I just sat there and wanted to get back on the train home and look at the graffiti on the railway embankments. I was deeply shocked on the inside...stunned maybe...but strangely calm on the face of it...as was my mum.

What the fuck! I didn't want to die, I didn't want to get ill, I didn't want to have to say good-bye to my family & friends, standing around my hospital bed, crying their eye-balls out......snot dripping all over my skinny, AIDS riddled legs & arms! And what about Christmas? It was September and I couldn't see the next Christmas! I couldn't wash my hands in the sink, because of the ad on the TV. My Mum, although she doesn't remember saying it now, had already killed and buried me in her sleep she said......so she didn't have to think about it.
I went quiet and probably looked at the floor. Trying not to blink, so everything would eventually go white! As the lines in my black corduroy trousers merged into one dark fuzzy mess, I remember my eyes stung as they dried out from not blinking! The trip home was a blank...as were the next several years to be honest!

My college course soon waved goodbye to me when Becky & I eventually went out with each other, We both got booted out for not attending. Becky merged into a girl called Jac and she eventually merged into my best friend, then it was just me and my viruses, hospital appointments, AZT drug trials & other HIV related drugs trials, my joint pain and a sentence of death that seemed to come at me from every direction & in slow motion! Not so much living...but just alive! Cycling, kayaking, becoming addicted to my pain killers, not working and not much else! Weeks turned into months, months turned into years and years turned into my last girlfriend Claire. She came along out of the blue, made me feel a whole lot better about things for a while and then kind of disappeared into the blue too. We still speak occasionally, as do Becky and I. But there I was with my viruses again, and my cycling, kayaking, keeping fit, pain in my joints, more hospital appointments, being with my family, staying as healthy as I possibly can. It is very hard work, but I am determined to out live every other virus infected person through contaminated blood products on the planet!

Then one day, after years of Royal Free Hospital Hepatitis specialists saying to me that I might want to think about treating my Hep C, and me saying 'Yeah, I'll think about it.', and on reaching home duly sweeping the whole sordid memory from my mind - I was told that I should stop thinking about it and jolly well start asap!
I knew nothing about Hep C just then, except that it will kill you if you leave it too long or treat your liver like shit. Well, I had had it for over 30 years by this stage, but I had been looking after my liver as far as avoiding cigarettes & alcohol were concerned, however, my pain killers & HIV drugs were probably causing just as much damage!
So back in February 2006 I began! With hardly any information...I was given literature on the subject of Hep C & possible side effects over the previous few years, but all this went straight in the bin, with the attitude that I was looking after myself as well as I possibly could and no amount of leaflets were going to help me!
Before I knew it I had started 48wks of Interferon/Ribavirin treatment and had a pretty good time as it happens. I had heard that it can and does cause all sorts of nasty side effects for most people taking it. But I was one of the very lucky few to have had a great time so to speak.
It seemed to have done the trick too...I was undetectable at twelve weeks and again at 48 weeks...My six month post treatment 'SVR' blood test was taken in July 2007. The virus has gone! Hopefully. I have all but forgotten about my Hep C! My HIV is well hidden also because of the drugs that I take for it seem to be working too.

Things couldn't be better for me right now. I'm fit, healthy and more or less happy too. Actually, I haven't felt so alive in an absolute age!
But that don't make everything alright by any means!!! For instance...why the hell wasn't I told of my HIV status when I was first diagnosed with it? Why did my Doctors tell me two whole years after they found out? Were they absolutely sure that I wasn't pissing away my viruses into some poor girls body? Not to mention my bloody family & I, who were at risk all through those two years! Did they have someone spying on us? Making sure I wasn't leaking blood over everybody & everything? I don't think so! So who knows why they didn't tell me that I had a life threatening virus as soon as they first discovered I had it! I remember them telling me that it was because they didn't think I was old enough to understand what it meant! What the fuck! Since when did I come across to them as a complete retard back when I was fourteen! They always used to tell me how intelligent & sensible I was.

Again, I was lucky as were my family and friends also! But as with everything in life...your luck will eventually run out sometime right? Like all the poor bleeders, some of whom were my friends, who have already died from these very same viruses that I have given host to over the last 30 odd years!

Answers please!!!

Jason Paul Tolmie

P.s. This year is the twenty year anniversary since I started taking medications for my HIV...everyday, twice a day for twenty years. Can you hear me rattling?

(C) JPT 2007.........

"My Kayaking for October 2007"

2007-11-07T23:40:00.000Z

Jac rhymes with kayak...sort of;)

...so what better opportunity to stick another pic of my best mate Jac in my kayaking post. I promise that for November's kayaking post, I will have a pic, or better still a video clip of me doing a roll using just my hands.

As you can see, I'm not getting too much kayaking done now the weather has taken a turn for the worst. Not really an excuse at all, but it's my excuse;)
Ian has been trying to get me to go to a purpose built white water kayaking venue an hour or so up the M1 in Nene. I tried to get in there but they said I haven't enough white water experience and can't go in without a three star instructor with me and will have to book myself in for some WW sessions. So this is what I will do eventually. Looks like fun in there.

Thursday 4th October 2007 @ 21:00pm, No Lee or Ian but James was back after a long spell away...he thought he'd lost his ability to roll but did one on his first attempt, my ankle (left) was all back to 'normal' and Owen & I played tag.

Sunday 14th October 2007 @ 17:10pm, Twickenham to Richmond and back against the current both ways on the Thames, 1hr 7mins paddling, warm and no wind, although the water was freezing on my feet as I launched by St Mary's Church, temp 17, wind 4. I found seven tennis balls:)

Thursday 18th October 2007 @ 21:00PM, Lee, Ian, James etc, ankle felt like shit, Ealing Pool.

Thursday 25th October 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing, 90 mins, Ian (Lee had a cold), during the last five minutes I did my first ever roll using just my hands!

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........3189.57 miles.

"My Cycling for October 2007"

2007-11-07T22:32:00.000Z

Me in Richmond Park (RP) during October 2007.

Ouch!! Back on the crutches again! At the time of posting this (07.11.07) I am stuck indoors recovering from a fall on my bike last night, half way around a ten mile loop of Leith Hill in the Surrey Hills...in the pitch blackness of night! I did have lights, but what with it being autumn and what with all the leaves covering up the trail, I failed to see a ten inch deep puddle of mud and as soon as I went into it I stopped dead and didn't unclip my foot from my pedal in time and went over quite heavily onto my right knee slap bang onto the only rock for half a mile;)
It hurt like hell for a good 30 seconds, but I had to carry on. I brushed myself down and continued with the remaining five miles with a very sore knee! All the while knowing that I should get home asap for some much needed F8...which I did.

So now I'm stuck indoors wondering just when I will be able to go back out on my bike. I'm at the 3189.57 miles mark out of my goal for the year of 3600. I better get my skates on eh;)
Plus, it looks like my Thursday nights kayaking session tomorrow will be spent in my flat!! Anything good on telly?

Tuesday 2nd October 2007 @ 18:00pm, RPx2 & 3 quarters, 27.35 miles, av 12.8, max 27.4 mph, clear & sunny then dark & cool, 2hrs 7mins. Total 2972.52 miles...(2579.1 miles since Cateye)

Friday 5th October 2007 @ 15:30pm, 13.86 miles, av 13.3, max 26 mph, RPx1, 1hr 2mins, clear and sunny, I got stung by something on the way round!, wind 7, temp 18. Total 2986.38 miles...(2593 miles since Cateye)

Monday 8th October 2007 @ 20:30pm, RPx1, 12.46 miles, 58mins, av 12.9, max 24.6 mph, dark & mild, dry, saw two badgers, right ankle really hurt and felt very vulnerable! Total 2998.84 miles...(2605.4 miles since Cateye)

Wednesday 10th October 2007 @ 16:00pm, 21.20 miles, RPx2, dry & mild, av 12.8, max 27.4 mph, right ankle hurts still, 1hr 39mins. Total 3020.04 miles...(2626.6 miles since Cateye)

Friday 12th October 2007 @ 19:15pm, 22.73 miles, Lee, BP & RPx1, Dark and warm, no wind, av 12.3, max 24.3 mph, 1hr 51mins, right ankle still feels like shit, wind 2, temp 17. Total 3042.77 miles...(2649.4 miles since Cateye)

Monday 15th October 2007 @ 12:00pm, Phil, HH & LH, 12 miles, av 8.4, max 26.8 mph, 1hr 25mins pedaling, ankles felt ok, warm & sunny, temp 17, wind 10. Total 3054.77 miles...(2661.4 miles since Cateye)

Tuesday 16th October 2007 @ 20:00pm, Swinley Forest, Bracknell, Lee, James, Paul & Michael (James' mates), 8.12 miles, av 7.2, max 18.6 mph, 1hr 7mins pedaling, mild but very wet and slippery!, dark too, I fell off a few times and grazed my right knee and inside right shin, finished ride at 22:10pm. Total 3062.89 miles...(2669.5 miles since Cateye)

Friday 19th October 2007 @ 19:20pm, BP, RP, Lee, 20.67 miles, av 12.3, max 24.2 mph, 1hr 41mins pedaling, dark, clear and quite cold, my toes were frozen!, temp 9 (felt like 2), wind 3. Total 3083.56 miles...(2690.2 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 21st October 2007 @ 15:00pm, HH, LH, 18.72 miles, av 9.2, max 27.3 mph, 2hrs 2mins pedaling, bright and sunny, mildish, very busy up there with other mountain bikers, ankles felt ok, temp 13, wind 4. Total 3102.28 miles...(2708.9 miles since Cateye)

Tuesday 23rd October 2007 @ 19:30pm, RP, 14.23 miles, (new leg covers) av 12.6, max 24.5 mph, 1hr 8mins pedaling, cool & dry, dark. Total 3116.51 miles...(2723.1 miles since Cateye)

Friday 26th October 2007 @ 19:00pm, RP, 14.21 miles, av 13, max 23.7 mph, 1hr 5mins pedaling,, cool & dry, dark, temp, 10, wind 4. Total 3131.72 miles...(2737.3 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 28th October 2007 @ 19:00pm, RP, 12.50 miles, av 12.8, max 22.2 mph, 58 mins pedaling, dark & pouring with rain, windy and mild. Total 3143.22 miles...(2749.8 miles Cateye)

Tuesday 30th October 2007 @ 20:00pm, LH, Lee, James & Paul, 10.03 miles, av 6.9, max 29.2 mph, 1hr 27 mins pedaling, dark & clear, cool, I forgot to bring my lights and borrowed one of Lee's...I couldn't see a bleeding thing!! Total 3153.25 miles...(2759.9 miles Cateye)

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........3189.57 miles.

"I Want to Hold My Hand"

2007-10-27T13:50:00.000+01:00

My left hand today (Friday). It is the hand that feeds me, that I punch with, that I grip best with...throw darts with, flip-off with (as in swear), scratch with, inject with, pick my nose with. It is the first hand to hit the ground when I fall off my bike. It is the hand that pulls my seat belt over my body. It is the hand that does absolutely everything for me when I have a bad bleed in my right elbow. It is the hand that changes gear in my car. It is the hand that holds me up when I switch my suspension on and off with my right hand on my bike. It is the hand that tips my HIV & pain killer tablets into my mouth everyday. It is the hand that I will save you with if you ever fall into an icy lake. It is the hand that I will hold your hand with if you let me...

"It is dark and it is cold and everyone is sick and abominably uncomfortable with life"

...but I still do what I do best, which is hold on tight and shut my eyes (for the most part) and hope for the best.
What with a mouthful (literally) of very painful ulcers over the last week or so (almost gone now after a few Thalidomide tablets) and aching ankle joints, I had just about had enough until I thought how much worse off things could be...and most probably will be one day.
I sometimes wonder what would happen to me if I stopped all my HIV medications. Whether I would stay well or instead go on to develop full blown AIDS! It has been exactly twenty years since I first started my HIV medications and have been strictly taking them daily every single day since, more or less without fail! Not (as I learned from my HIV doctors) an easy feat to keep up to say the least. I've been on several HIV drug trials throughout the years and I have been through a few medication changes too (due to side effects or them not working as well as they'd hoped for) and here I am, still alive and still taking the drugs. Also, just for the record, I stopped taking my twice daily Aciclovir (Zovirax in tablet form) drugs to prevent me from getting cold sores. I stopped just over a week ago to see what would happen. I haven't had any cold sores yet! The reason that I decided to stop with them was because they aren't too good for your liver and well, without them my liver will thank me right? I haven't told my HIV doctors, but will do when I visit them next week. I think they'd prefer it if I wasn't taking them anyhow.

What am I going on about? I'm not so sure myself to be honest. Just thought of writing something and this is all I could think of. Plus, I wanted to tell everyone that I did my first ever roll in a kayak on Thursday using just my hands (no paddle or float). It was during the very last five minutes of my ninety minute session over at Ealing Pool. After an hour and twenty five minutes of just fucking around and doing regular rolls and stuff, Ian comes up to me and said to try a hand roll. I've tried before and failed on every attempt and just thought I'd fail again, but I thought what the hell and tried. I threw my paddle over to the side and capsized. After three attempts I did one and then another and another! They came to me as quickly as that! The proof of the pudding will be whether I can still do them next week. We shall see, but I am feeling pretty confident. Cheers Ian.

It'll be Christmas soon, then Summer will be here again.

"I Love the dark and I Love the cold, but I don't so much care for sickness and feeling abominably uncomfortable with life"

Jason

P.s. Congratulations to UC achieving "SVR" recently. You da woman! xx

(C) JPT 2007.........3131.72 miles.

"My Kayaking For September 2007"

2007-10-14T21:24:00.001+01:00

Jac (My bestest friend) @ The Buffalo Bar in Islington to see "William".

As you can see, not a lot of kayaking during the month of September. The main reason being that I have been doing loads of cycling and have been more or less relying on my Thursday night pool sessions in Ealing to do a bit. Plus I missed one session in Sept due to the fact that I couldn't walk! I wanted so much to go but was in far too much pain!
I don't even have a photo related to kayaking to post with it, so I thought I'd stick another pic of my best friend Jac up as this is what I did last time...besides, I think she looks far much better than I do;) Apology's for the fact that the photo wasn't even taken in September. I took it on 9.10.07 (Jac's Birthday) when we went gigging.

Thursday 6th September 2007 @ 21:00pm, I managed to get Jac to come along and promised that I wouldn't tip her in;), The pool was very packed with other boats which is unusual and made the whole experience a little disappointing, Jac got out early and sat on the side watching, if the pool was more quiet she'd have had a much better time. It was her first ever time in kayak too. I hope she goes again:)

Thursday 13th September 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, Lee & Ian, 1hr 30mins, no Jac this time...don't suppose we'll ever see her there again bless her little cotton socks;)

Thursday 20th September 2007 @ 21:00, Ealing pool, 1hr 30mins, Ian, Lee had cold, Ian has new boat, I was using a pair of hand paddles from the states tonight and found them to be quite good fun. So easy to roll with them...I think they were a little too big really and could do with a smaller pair. Ian's ankle is getting better and hopefully he will be able to come cycling with us again.

Jason

(C) JPT 2007

"My Cycling For September 2007"

2007-10-13T23:04:00.000+01:00

Me during my 100k marathon in Ruthin 16.08.07

Another month and another cycling post...yipee! Looks like I passed the 3000 mile mark for the year and I'm beginning to wonder if I will manage the 3600 by the time this year is up on December 31st? 550 odd miles in two & a half months? You betcha!!! Although I have been cycling and stuff, both my ankles have been playing up whether it be walking or cycling or just sitting in doors doing not a lot of anything! Walking though mainly causes the pain. I'm more or less ok cycling just as long as I don't put my feet down at traffic lights or at gates into RP etc, ie; impossible! But I still do it because...because I can.

So, what else have I been doing? I had meself a fibroscan at my haemophilia centre in Hampstead the other week and got a score of 9.6. They were happy with it, so I am too. I wasn't expecting the scan, nor did I particularly want one, but I had it anyway because...because I can.

Jac & I went up the hill...actually, we went up to North London on Tuesday to see a live band called "William". It was her birthday too. We had a great time although we nearly missed the last train back to Waterloo and then nearly missing the last train back to Twickenham too!
Again, Jac fell in Love with the lead singer Gavin and got me to take a photo of them together. Good band! He sings without his shoes because...because he can.

What else, what else, what else? Oh, yes, I went to Preston to this years Haemophilia Society AGM. I'd never been to one before and I gotta admit that if certain other haemophiliacs weren't there, I'd probably not bothered going. Ros was there as were Matt and another typeIII vWd Helen. She is pretty cool as she is a fellow Blakes 7 fan and she has a vein in her arm that vibrates! Now if that ain't cool, then what is?

Anyway, here are the stats for last months cycling;

Sunday 2nd September 2007 @ 12pm, Phil, RPx1 and a half, 17.43 miles, sunny and warm, dry, av 11.6, max 32mph, 1hr 30mins, temp 20, wind 14. Total 2727.95 miles...(2334.5 miles since Cateye)

Wednesday 5th September 2007 @ 17:00pm, RPx2 with small diversion to Jac's work to say hello and pump her back tyre up, warm and sunny, 25.36miles, av 13.2, max 28mph, 1hr 55mins. Total 2753.31 miles...(2359.9 miles since Cateye)

Friday 7th September 2007 @ 18:00pm, 19.83 miles, RPx1 and diversion to Mums for dinner in garden, sunny the dark, warm, dry, av 13.4, max 27.1 mph, 1hr 29mins, temp 22, wind 5. Total 2773.14 miles...(2379.7 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 9th September 2007 @ 12:30pm, Phil, HH & LH, 21.73 miles, 2hrs 31mins, warm, sunny & dry, Phil crashed a few times including one on BKB...he's fine I might add!, av 8.6, max 34.2 mph, temp 24, wind 7. Total 2794.87 miles...(2401.4 miles since Cateye)

Wednesday 12th September 2007 @ 18:00pm, RP on the road, 17.97 miles, warm, dry & sunny, 1hr 14mins, av 14.6, max 36.8 mph, temp 21, wind 4. Total 2812.84 miles...(2419.4 miles since Cateye)

Friday 14th September 2007 @ 18:00pm, BP, 10.17 miles, av 14.8, max 22.9 mph, 41 mins, dry/dusk, temp 19, wind 5. Total 2823.01 miles...(2429.6 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 16th September 2007 @ 09:30, Ruthin North Wales, Lee, Phil, Merida MTB Mountain Bike Marathon Series Final, Lee & Phil both did 50k and I did 100k, 58.04 miles, av 8.2, max 35.3 mph, 8hrs out and 7hrs pedaling in total, finished @ 17:25, sun, strong winds with clouds and rain later...see blog entry for 21st September to read about the ride. Total 2881.05 miles...(2487.6 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 23rd September 2007 @ 12:40, Home to Central London (Hovis "Freewheel" Bike Event) via A3 & Vauxhaull Bridge (going)/Waterloo Bridge (coming back), 40.58 miles, av 12, max 30.4 mph, mostly sunny and very windy coming back, 3hrs 22mins pedaling...back home at 5pm, temp 21, wind 14. Total 2921.63 miles...(2528.2 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 30th September 2007 @ 17:00, Lee, out for a little ride to see how my ankle was after three days of agony!, BP & RP, 23.54 miles, av 13.8, max 26.7 mph, 1hr 42mins, mild and bright, ankle was fine in the end and feels like it is 'back to normal'...thank goodness!, temp 16, wind 9. Total 2945.17 miles...(2551.7 miles since Cateye)

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........3042.77 miles

"When The Vein Blows"

2007-10-09T17:01:00.000+01:00

Alone but not lonely...

The quivering beast that finds it's peace
By lying low a while, until finding a feast
...Red veins that blow so fine and right, I seen it all tonight,
Blue veins that hide from fright, I saw it all that night,
So close to Curtis, so far from Deirdre,
The distance don't matter for neither can hear me
Tarmac invites plane to visit hard, water laps up against garage door whilst warm hands sleep on my thigh!

Not quite right, but I'm not pushing it away!

Jason

Happy Birthday Jac xx

(C) JPT 2007.........

"Walking Trivialities"

2007-09-30T23:04:00.000+01:00

South Bank last Sunday during my London ride...the graffiti was more fun than the ride;)

God! I'm so bored! It's raining in my head, in my ankle and it's raining outside (it was at the time of writing this sentence;)! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it!
Where the sticky shit did that bastard bleed come from? Was it a bleed? I'm not really sure? It didn't swell up like a bleed, like they used to do when I was younger. Like a balloon filled with boiling blood sticking out the side of my ankle joint! More of a bone thing going on. A deep, deep down feeling right in the center of my ankle joint! As my friend Ros so perfectly described recently - Just like a poisonous bone eating worm was living in there - very nasty! Very good description Mrs C.

It all started last Wednesday night. I had been out to London to see a film. Hardly any walking at all. Just a little between trains and to and from my car from the station. Done it a thousand times with and without pain. Been caught out before but all was well again by the morning after a few thousand units of Factor VIII. But not this time!

I got off the train at Twickenham and started to walk up the stairs to the road to take the short walk across the railway bridge to Waitrose carpark where my car was and there the pain started. Nothing unusual about that. It often hurts just after I have been sitting still for a while. Got to get the joint moving a little before it sorts itself out. Ros'll tell you the same.
So I thought nothing of it and adjusted my walking style to help relieve the pain that I was feeling and continued through the ticket machines and out onto the pavement and over the bridge.
Halfway across the bridge and I was walking like I had been shot in the foot by a lone sniper atop Waitrose! Bam!! All of a sudden the remainder of the very short walk back to the car became a ten minute pain filled struggle where each step made me grimace in agony! Not long to go now, just another few hundred yards and I will be with my car, back home, back with my precious factor VIII.

Little did I imagine that it would last the entire evening, all the way through the night and all through the next two days! Christ on a bike! That first night I didn't sleep a wink, couldn't find a single pain-free spot to put my stupid foot! I downed 10 strong pain killers during the night and they had no effect whatsoever! I'm surprised I didn't do meself a mischief with that amount of PK's! Very silly looking back, but at the time I wasn't thinking straight. I can understand how people can accidentally overdose when they're in so much pain.

Besides the pain I was in, I was also rather concerned that I had a permanent injury that was just not going to go away! I had visions of crawling around on my knees to the kitchen and bathroom for the rest of eternity (one day was enough!). My knees stung when I lowered myself into a hot bath on Thursday night due to carpet burns! (first Thursday night kayaking session I have missed since I started going nearer the beginning of the year). I got Lee to come around with my Mums crutches that she used recently for a knee replacement and used those until the ankle miraculously sorted itself out on Sunday morning (today). I tried to walk on it with the aid of the crutches on Saturday night to see if it was alright to do so and it kind of felt ok.

Then on Sunday morning the bastard was all more or less back to normal. What a relief!! I was worried I had buggered it once and for all! It's bound to happen one day, I just know it! Looking back, I think it was my ankles way of telling me that I had used it too much over the last few weeks and to calm down a little. I might not have been out for many rides over the last two weeks, but the few rides that I did do were very long and hard and something was going to give right? Sunday before last I did my 100k off-road marathon thing up in North Wales and then nothing until the next Sunday (last) when I took a lonely trip into central London to be part of the "Hovis Freewheel" ride where several miles of London's most popular streets were closed to all traffic except bikes. 38,000 bikes attended the event and all I can say to describe it is that it was THE largest bicycle jam in the entire world!! The weather was good but the wind was a right fucker coming back home into Kingston along the A3. I decided to cycle the whole way (40 odd miles) from my flat to the event and back again and to be honest with you, I don't really think I had recovered properly from the marathon a week before.

Will I learn from my experience? I really do hope so! But probably not.

Jason

P.s. Way to go Amp's...SVR girl:)

(C) JPT 2007.........2945.17 miles.

"Merida MTB Marathon Series Final 2007 in Ruthin"

2007-09-21T10:44:00.000+01:00

Bleed? I ain't got time to bleed!

So how did my recent MTB marathon go up in the beautiful hills of North Wales?...Ruthin and the surrounding area to be precise. Well, it went very well indeed. The weather was good after fears of pouring rain and 10hrs+ in the saddle with light fading fast as the mud made for an ultra slow ride! And also fears of the marathon even being cancelled because of an outbreak of Foot & Mouth that is going on here in the UK at the moment. Instead we were all told to bring clean bikes and footwear, especially if you're from the affected part of the country (as were I, Lee & Phil) and we had to roll our bike wheels and walk through a shallow trough of disinfectant to kill any germs we might be carrying. In fact, all 1000+ riders had to squeeze through the exact same trough before we took our bikes out into the North Wales hills between 09:30-10:00. It was the biggest traffic jam (with bikes) that I have ever seen! Of course everyone wanted to get away as quickly as possible to be in for a chance of achieving a good time.
We were camped on the grounds of Ruthin Rugby Club for the Saturday night (15th) and the ride started the following morning. After a decent sleep in a half decent tent and under a cloudless night that contained what looked like the entire solar systems alloted amount of stars we got our bikes & Camelbak's ready in gorgeous sunshine and downed some tasty porridge and sliced banana. This final leg of the "Merida MTB Marathon Series 2007" was the first that Lee & I have ever done. Phil had done one last year and this is where I first heard of the Merida event (Merida make mountain bikes). There were four routes on offer at the Ruthin event; 25k, 50k, 75k and 100k. I thought I'd do the 100k if the weather was good enough and if not the 75k but the weather was good, albeit very windy on some of the more exposed parts of the route. The wind was so strong at times that I had to pedal to get down a decent! But at least it was dry and warmish.
The three of us set off together through the pretty streets of Ruthin and up into the hills. My goodness! The hills were long and steep and hard going! I had to push my bike more than once they were that steep! If only I had another gear I kept saying to myself. A slightly larger cog on the back and a slightly smaller ring on the front and I'd have pedaled near enough the whole lot I reckon.
The sun shone for a few hours but then decided to go all overcast and windy! We soon found our own paces and I wouldn't see Lee & Phil again until I reached the finish line some 7hrs later, by which time they already finished & had washed their bikes, showered and were sat in the van waiting for me to arrive. They had both decided to do the 50k ride and when didn't see me at the finish, they knew straight away that I was on for the 100k. They completed their ride in 6hrs and crossed the line within two minutes of each other. I however took an extra 2hrs and crossed the line all alone after a mental 5k wet decent into Ruthin village. My hands were sore from gripping my handle bars and pulling in the brake levers. I had almost no strength left in my hands and right arm by the end! My legs had also had enough and my bike needed a good wash, not to mention me!
It was a thoroughly rewarding ride. I went at my own pace the whole time and even after the relentless wind, a puncture after 90 mins and an uphill fall where I couldn't un-clip my feet from the pedals and whacked my right shoulder & head on the ground (hence the bloody nose...the ground hit my helmet, the helmet pushed down into my glasses and my glasses cut into the bridge of my nose) I still managed a pretty good time. I made all the deadlines before you got diverted to make sure you weren't stranded out in the middle of nowhere in the dark. I was wonderfully exhausted by the time I reached the finish line and picked up my event t-shirt for finishing, had my FVIII and went home still with bloody nose and dirty bike!

The event was very well organized with several feeding stations along the 100k route, most of which I just picked up a fresh banana, had a little stretch and continued along my way. I was on a mission and really didn't want to stop at all. Each feeding station had water, bananas, biscuits and energy bars on offer and first aid too. The whole course was marshaled also. Each one would cheer you on and encourage you to keep going. And also, each one who noticed my bloody nose asked if I was ok. They really did a brilliant job. The entire route was very well sign posted. It is amazing just how quickly 1000+ mountain bikers spread out over a 60 mile course! I found myself alone for a fair bit of the ride...just me and Elvis and my aching joints. And that is just what they did too...ache. I can't have been happier for the way my joints behaved leading up to, during and after the ride!

I can't wait for the next ride! Next year I shall try and do all of the Merida events that are held. That'd be a nice challenge to achieve...even more so if I can do the 100k route in all of them!

Anyway, Wednesday saw another inquiry come and go. And again I went along to show my support and meet up with friends who have also been affected. I still don't really know what to make of it all. The evidence seems to be along the same themes with every inquiry and nothing as far as I can see has really stuck out and smacked me in the nose. Yes, there are terrible stories of haemophiliac Sons dying of aids and stories of how Factor VIII was made and distributed back in the day, but is there anything that can secure exactly what we are asking for? I don't rightly know. I'm not even sure what it is we are asking for anymore? I'm just happy to see and spend a little time with my old/new vWd/haemophiliac friends once a month or so:) I also invited along my friend Debbie to this one.
There will be more inquiries to come we have been informed, but as of Wednesday no dates set.

I need to get out on my bike again! My legs feel as if they haven't pedaled for weeks and it's only been four days! I have just been so busy I suppose since Monday..., well Monday & Tuesday was spent recovering from Sunday and Wednesday to a certain degree also (I nodded off about 18 times during the inquiry...Ros had to keep poking me to wake me up;) and maybe even Thursday if I am honest and yesterday (Thursday) was spent up London again with Debbie to see a show called "Stomp" which was superb! If it's in a city near you, then go see it! You will want to bang anything & everything...including the kitchen sink (if you know what I mean;) when you get home. And then Thursday evening was spent in the pool kayaking. Plus Elvis' rear cassette has come loose and needs sorting! Silly Elvis!

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........2881.05 miles.

"Redcarscometoascreechinghalt"

2007-09-11T23:40:00.000+01:00

Jac trying her utmost to join Redcarsgofaster as a band member...Did someone not tell her that it was their last ever gig?

It's so true! Leicester band Redcarsgofaster came skidding to a grinding halt on Saturday night (8th Sept) in a tiny building in the middle of their hometown. The venue was The Charlotte in Oxford St. Redcars were on in the upstairs room and when I say room, I mean quite literally a room...a dark, hot, wood floor room! No stage as such. Just a corner where all their gear was set up and a few speakers. A very intimate affair indeed! Perfect for witnessing a great bunch of guys yanking up the handbrake to their band and playing their last ever gig ever! You see, I was there with my friend Jac who also Love them and when we heard that they were gigging and that it was going to be their last performance...well, we just had to go didn't we. All we had of them in the way of music were six tracks that we managed to find on itunes and nothing else. We heard them once on the radio (which is where we first heard them and instantly fell in Love)...we were sitting in the car one night listening to Xfm and on came "I Am the Storm". The rest as they say is history.

So, we left London behind & drove the 100 miles or so North in a black fast car to the venue. We were a little early (3hrs) and spent most of that time looking for a part of Leicester that wasn't made up of old mens pubs and university campus buildings. We found a place to wait and then before we knew it was almost 8pm. Half the small queue waiting outside to get in were covered in blood and scars of all shapes & sizes! Fake of course...at least I hope it was...I think they must have been seeing the band who were playing downstairs..."Send More Paramedics". They're playing in London on the 14th...I might pop along to see. These guys are also splitting up! What is it with bands splitting up all over the place?

Upon entering the venue, I hadn't realized just how many famous bands had played there! The walls were covered in posters of all the bands that have since 1985...Radiohead, The Killers, Bloc Party, The Buzzcocks, Oasis, The Stone Roses, Happy Mondays, Manic Street Preachers, Suede, Echobelly (MMmmm!), Pulp, Kyuss (cool!), Muse, Coldplay, Coutney Pine, Blur Joe Strummer (of The Clash fame), Razorlight, The Libertines and many more. I bought a t-shirt and Jac bough a red wine and upstairs we went. We had got talking to a guy who was there to see Redcars and he really knew his music and was there photographing the band too. We found him at the top of the stairs talking to Redcars frontman James and spoke to them a bit before we went in. He couldn't believe we came all the way up from London to see them! I asked him if he had any cd's of their homemade album...I'd been kind of communicating with the band the week before by e-mail and they said they would be selling them at the gig. They even remembered me from the e-mails and went and got our cd's before they went on...in fact, even before the first two bands ("Tired Irie" & "Rotary Ten") went on. They were very good too...Jac was in her element and was having a great time. Seeing live bands really seems to be her thing and makes her feel happy! I too Love the whole live band scene. And since the smoking ban on the 1st July you can actually breath in there now!

As I said, Jac was absolutely Loving it...and then on came Redcars! She had already fallen in Love with their music over the last year and now she was falling in Love with James the bands singer. We met him briefly just before the gig and he was just such a nice bloke! He looked very young and we had both imagined him to be a lot older looking. Great looking with a wonderful voice...where did it all go wrong? We had to keep reminding ourselves that it was their last ever gig and that we would never (no one would ever...) see this band again! Good job then that I videoed it! Check these guys out by having a listen to them on their myspace page; http://www.myspace.com/redcarsgofaster click on track "Neurath's Figure"...this is a favorite at the moment. Tell me what you think and if you think they're mad for calling it a day with such a great sound under their belts?

So, the band came on, did their stuff, played more tracks than they have ever played before in a single gig, laughed and joked between themselves and us and even stripped down to their waists just because they had always wanted to during previous gigs and didn't have the bottle. The gig was brilliant, especially the last track, which I'd never heard before, where they just invited the audience up with them...Jac got right up there and had a ball being James' right hand woman for five minutes. Guitars and cymbals were flying around all over the place whilst James stood up by the window over looking the street outside and scribbled something like "Redcarsgofaster...R.I.P" into the steamed up windows as Phil drummed his nuts off along with Andy's deep bass. Then guitarist Matt lifted his guitar right over his head and went to smash it down onto the drum kit until fellow guitarist David jumped in and stopped him. It was sheer madness for a few minutes...a few minutes I'd Love to relive at least once a week for the rest of my life it was that cool!

Thanks guys for such a memorable gig!

REDCARSGOFASTER ARE FUCKING DEAD...R.I.P.

In other news...My mountain bike marathon up in Ruthin, North Wales is fast approaching. Sunday 16th to be precise. The weather looks set to be pretty bad so I may not do the 100k route...but we'll see. My bike is all ready...I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be and I am looking forward to it come rain or shine. What more could you ask for...a weekend camping in a beautiful part of the world with your mountain bike and you best mate? The only thing missing will be my kayak! I'll tell you all about it when it's all over.

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........2823.01 miles.

"One She Dislikes"

2007-09-06T11:52:00.000+01:00

What my Dad wrote on the back; This teacher likes or dislikes certain children and Jason is one she dislikes. He sits next to another boy who is very naughty, But I have sorted this out. L Tolmie

Trafalgar Junior School, Twickenham.

Name; Jason Paul Tolmie
Class; IW
Date; Summer 1979

English

Reading age; 7 years 2 months. Jason's reading has improved considerably this year and his word attack skills have also advanced a lot. His handwriting is still very cramped and slowly produced. He is able to write in sentences when he sets his mind to the task and is making a start on story writing. He makes little effort to learn his spellings for tests but there has been some improvement in this field because of his better reading skills.
He has little idea about punctuation. His written comprehension work is slowly improving but he dislikes the effort involved in answering fully and skimps this type of work. His aural comprehension work is better but still suffers from his poor concentration.

Mathematics

Jason has not made much effort to master the simple number bonds, nor has he learnt any of his multiplication tables. He can count on in two's with difficulty. His concept of place value is very shaky - he is fairly happy with tens and units but hundreds and thousands confuse him completely. He can add tens and units and is beginning to master carrying with the aid of Dienes apparatus. He can manage only the simplest subtraction and although he has had experience of multiplication and sharing he is not yet able to do simple sums using these operations. He cannot manage problems using the basic operations. He can measure accurately in centimeters but has difficulty in drawing straight lines and using a compass. He is still confused about telling the time. He can do simple money sums.

Environmental Studies

Jason has poor concentration and rarely listens for long in Environmental Studies lessons. He does not contribute to discussions nor is he able to answer questions sensibly. He is unable to record factual in his own words, although he is now able to copy notes accurately from the blackboard.
Although an eager participant in gymnastics and games he is not always a sensible one. In Country Dancing and Movement he is also frequently silly and does not listen to instructions. He makes little effort to join in singing lessons but has made a start with the recorder. His artwork is careless and he prefers to throw plasticene rather than model with it.

General Development

At the beginning of the year Jason avoided work whenever he could. Fortunately, he discovered that he had to finish work before he could play and this led to a dramatic increase in output. His standard of work has improved immeasurably and while not yet up to average he should be able to work more with his own class next year.
This improvement in work has not been reflected in his general behaviour. He has been frequently in trouble during this year. He is often slyly disobedient. He has been observed misbehaving or, more seriously, taking other childrens' property, and then steadfastly denies his guilt. He is violent towards other children, secure in the knowledge that they may not hit him back. While acknowledging the difficulties Jason faces because of his illness some action is necessary to stop Jason and his appalling behaviour.

Class Teacher; Miss S R Webber
Headmaster; Mr Emblin

Oh how sweet! What a Lovely little boy,
run with him, play with him like your favorite toy,
He was beautiful, he was shy, he wouldn't hurt a fly,
Ok, he'd pick off their wings, poke them in the eye,
he did throw pasticene all around the class,
straight over the other kids and into some glass,
he borrowed forever, another boys thing,
a boy who was happy, a boy who could sing,
poor concentration, I wonder why?
his illness and violence, why deny?
you may not hit me for I will bleed to death,
but if I deserve it, you may take my last breath.

I was eight and a half...just! I was a very shy boy and quiet most of the time but as you can see, I was a little sod too. But then I was the only boy in my school who spent hours up at the A&E in the middle of the night on a regular basis...crying in pain, trying not to think about the needle that I thought I was avoiding during the day at school, hoping my bleed would go away on it's own! They never did go away! So up to the hospital I went at 2am, back at home at 5am. Missing school the next day (hooray) because I was exhausted from all of the pain and feeling terribly frightened. I should have been asleep, dreaming. Like most other eight and a half (just) year old little boys.

I didn't know it at the time, neither did my teacher, nor my headmaster, nor my Mum & Dad, not even my doctors...but I had Hep C too! Let me throw plasticene for gods sake! Let me have some fun before it all goes tits up!

"You got haemophilia haven't you? And that means we ain't supposed to hit you doesn't it?"
...If I have done something to deserve being hit, then hit, hit away boys, I won't stop you...

Note; I don't remember being violent towards other children, I was just not that sort of kid. Yeah, all schools have their fair share of little shits and I was one of them...sometimes, when I needed to be one. If I was pushed or provoked, I would give back accordingly...maybe a little more just to make sure they didn't do it again. Some people you can talk your way out of a fight, others you just have to run and some just need to be hit straight away and hard. I have never hit anyone for no reason!

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........2773.14 miles.

My Kayaking for August 2007...

2007-09-02T23:04:00.000+01:00

More blood vicar?

Not a lot of kayaking in August! Just trips to Ealing pool every Thursday to practice my eskimo rolls etc...and have a laugh whilst keeping fit all at the same time:)
Also, I have absolutely no photos of me kayaking to go with the post so I have stuck in this pic taken in August of my blood being taken from my best kayaking arm...look at where the needle is! My favorite place to inject is the dark patch to the right of the needle...a whole inch or more away! I was brave though and didn't bat an eyelid;)

Thursday 2nd August 2007 @ 21:00pm, 1hr 30mins at Ealing Pool, Lee & others, Ian was back today after a few weeks recovering from a badly sprained ankle, Lee learned to hand roll like I was doing last week courtesy of Owen, and I have a blocked ear (right side) because my ear plugs are shit! Otherwise all is fine and dandy:)

Thursday 9th August 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool, Lee & Ian etc, hurt my right shoulder mucking around with Lee...great laugh as always, 1hr 30mins.

Thursday 16th August 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool with Lee & Ian etc, 1hr 30mins.

Thursday 23rd August 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool with Lee & Ian, 1hr 3omins.

Thursday 30th August 2007 @ 21:00pm, Ealing Pool with Lee & Ian etc, 1hr 30mins. I did 18 CtoC rolls all in a row...I was very dizzy!

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........

My Cycling for August 2007...

2007-09-02T22:44:00.000+01:00

Me on top of Holmbury Hill over looking the South Coast towards Brighton 26.08.07

Another month, another bunch of cycling...

This month (August) saw me do my first ever money raising bike ride ever. It was, as you probably already know in aid of the Haemophilia Society. I raised a total of over £700. Not bad eh for my first time:)
Anyway, sit back & enjoy my cycling statistics for August 2007. It don't get any more interesting than this eh;)

Wednesday 1st August 2007 @ 15:00pm, RPx1 & a half, then on to BPx1, 30.65 miles, 2hrs 9mins pedaling, warm and sunny, light breeze, felt quite tired during most of this ride...don't know why exactly? Must be getting old;), av 14, max 28.3 mph, temp 24, wind 6. Total 2318.47 miles...(1924.2 miles since Cateye)

Friday 3rd August 2007 @ 17:00pm, RPx1 & a half, then on to BPx1 (via Thames tow-path), 30.13 miles, 2hrs 7mins pedaling, warm and sunny with a medium wind, bumped into my wonderful (upstairs) neighbours Debbie & Graham along the river in Kingston, av 14.1, max 26 mph, temp 24, wind 13. Total 2348.60 miles...(1954.4 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 5th August 2007 @ 11am, Pitch Hill & Holmbury Hill, 11.22 miles with Phil from Blood, Sweat & Tyres, very warm and dry and hardly any wind, metcheck say 22 degrees but my car said 29!, 1hr 26 mins pedaling, tonnes of mountain bikers up there today, we did all the main trails...Reservoir Dogs, Barry Knows Best (also known as Golden Birdies & Ronnie Barkers & Knobby Knows Best), T1 and The Yoghurt Pots, brilliant day for a ride:), av 7.8, max 28.7 mph, temp 22, wind 5. Total 2359.82 miles...(1965.6 miles since new Cateye)

Wednesday 8th August 2007 @ 15:00pm, 21.62 miles, RPx1, BPx1, 1hr 33mins, sunny and warm, av 14, max 29.5 mph, temp 21, wind7. Total 2381.44 miles...(1987.2 miles since Cateye)

Saturday 11th August 2007 @ 12:30pm, South Downs Way North of Worthing with Matthew & Phil, 3hrs 17mins, 35.11 miles, very warm and sunny all day long, av 10.6, max 33.2 mph, temp 20, wind 7. Total 2416.55 miles...(2022.3 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 12th August 2007 @ 1pm, Lee, Holmbury Hill & Pitch Hills, 10.43 miles, 1hr 26 mins, pissed down with rain and made a very dry terrain into a very wet and muddy terrain!, good fun though, av 7.2, max 25.2 mph, temp 18, wind 15. Total 2426.98 miles...(2032.8 miles since Cateye)

Tuesday 14th August 2007 @ 21:00pm, 3 miles only as I got a puncture and I got Lee to pick me up as I didn't have any stuff to fix it! Thanks Lee:), rainy, dark and windy but very warm, 10mins pedaling, av 10, max 23.3 mph, wind 15, temp 19. Total 2429.98 miles...(2036.5 miles since Cateye)

Wednesday 15th August 2007 @ 2pm, 40.08 miles, 3hrs pedaling, warm, very windy, dry, sunny and cloudy all afternoon, av 13.4, max 28.4 mph, temp 21, wind 20+. Total 2470.06 miles...(2076.6 miles since Cateye)

Saturday 18th & Sunday 19th August 2007 @ (see blog post for BST ride for details...106.77 miles for the weekend broken up into 45.79 for Sat & 60.98 for Sun, we had sun, wind, rain, mud and cloud. Total 2576.83 miles...(2183.3 miles since Cateye)

Tuesday 21st August 2007 @ 17:00pm, 25.84 miles, RPx1 and a half, BPx1, cloudy and spitting with rain for most of it, windy and mild, 2hrs 3mins, av 12.5, max 27.4 mph, temp 17, wind 9. Total 2602.67 miles...(2209.2 miles since Cateye)

Friday 24th August 2007 @ 18:45pm, Lee, BP, RP, BP again, 30.77 miles, sunny and warm then dark and warm, mist patches in the low areas of RP and across the plains in BP too, av 12, max 26.2 mph, 2hrs 33mins pedaling, temp 16, wind 3. Total 2633.44 miles...(2240 miles since Cateye)

Saturday 25th August 2007 @ 11am, Phil, Box Hill then Holmbury & Pitch Hills, 13.08 miles, very hot & sunny with no wind, av 7.9, max 31.2 mph, quite muddy, 1hr 39mins pedaling. Total 2646.52 miles...(2253 miles since Cateye)

Sunday 26th August 2007 @ 14:00pm, Lee, Holmbury, Leith & Pitch Hills, 21.04 miles, hot & sunny and still muddy, no wind at all, av 8.3, max 28.1 mph, 2hrs 31mins pedaling. Total 2667.56 miles...(2274.1 miles since Cateye)

Tuesday 28th August 2007 @ 20:10pm, RPx1 and a half, 17.56 miles, dark and warm, no wind, 1hr 17 mins pedaling, av 13.5, max 23.6 mph, temp 16, wind 5. Total 2685.12 miles...(2291.6 miles since Cateye)

Friday 31st August 2007 @ 18:50pm, Lee, RPx1 and a half and BPx1, 25.40 miles, dark & mild with cool bits, bit of a breeze, av 12.4, max 27.1 mph, 2hrs 3mins pedaling, temp 18, wind 10. Total 2710.52 miles...(2317 miles since Cateye)

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........

"365 Days Later"

2007-09-01T13:50:00.000+01:00

Big Ben can't tell the time...what a silly Ben;)

It's been a whole year since I posted my first ever post on my first ever Blog. This is my 177th post! Not a good number but hey, who's looking eh? Why not a good number? You might see just a number, but it reminds me of the word "ILL"& I don't like "ILL". 771 will be another post that will haunt me for a day, but that one won't come along for another few years yet...if ever. Numbers eh...who needs em?
Anyway my friends, Is it weird or even just slightly odd that the first thing I notice when I write a new post is what number it is? I mean please! What's going on? When I was a child I used to have wide awake dreams (or should that be nightmares?) where numbers would be ruling my life, coming at me on an invisible conveyor belt from one side of my peripheral vision and pass right by my eyes...one ofter the other after the other...continuously and without an end! The area where the numbers were was pitch black and the light showing the numbers came from some unknown origin. I could be wide awake and my eyes would be open or I could fast asleep and they would not go away! The numbers were BIG! Not big like say three million, six hundred thousand & eighty one, but BIG as in actual size! They were gigantic! Taller than any skyscraper ever built with corners that were hard and straight and sharpe! Machined to perfection and perfectly steady in their journey past me! It was a terrible feeling and although they didn't stay in my head for long, I didn't know that at the time. I remember sitting on the edge of my bath when I was very young and saying to my Mum if they would stop. My Mum probably said something like they won't hurt you my dear...they're just numbers. I couldn't make them go away myself either...I just had to wait until they went. Very odd indeed. Why didn't I dream of normal things? Like not being able to run or being chased by a strange man who wanted to do horrible things to me? Maybe numbers freaked me out so much back then because I was useless at maths. I could not and still cannot get my head around bloody numbers! People I understand, or at least I know what they are capable of...but numbers? You can keep your numbers thank you very much!

So there you go. Happy Birthday to my Blog...And to Ample's too:)

It seems I have lost the ability to write interesting posts anymore. I just don't seem to have the concentration to come up with anything more exciting than watching an empty crisp packet floating down the street in the wind. It just sounds so boring going on about my cycling around Richmond Park and what not! And kayaking and going to these public inquiries every now and then. I went to two in two days last week (Wednesday & Thursday) and all I seemed to be able to do was nod off listening to various doctors & professors talking about how it was like to manufacture, distribute & ultimately administer vast quantities of Factor VIII, unbeknownst to them at the time (allegedly) harboring various blood bourne viruses! Terrible I know because it is so important. I was tired though after all the cycling I have been doing. Ros was there too which was nice as always and Matthew (another bleeder) who is funny and easy to get along with. They're all very friendly people as it happens. I like the bits in between the actual reading of evidence where we go down the road to the cafe or pub and chat and stuff. I reckon I only go because of those bits...and the mice on the London Underground. I saw the cutest little mouse on the underground and all I wanted to do was pick it up and put it in my pocket and take it home and care for it forever and ever! But I didn't...because I couldn't quite reach it...just out of my reach...as always. One very good thing though is at least I know it will still be there next time I go on the underground...waiting for me:) I wish they allowed bikes on the underground. It'd be so much easier on my wrecked ankles! I hate walking! I don't do walking very well! It hurts too much at times. If only you could jump into my feet for a little while someday...and find out what it's like. Maybe I could jump into your feet someday and feel what it's like without the pain?

Rub, rub, rub those sore little feet,
Until all the pain has gone to sleep,
Your dreams much longer with less of that yawning,
Feelings of happiness when you wake in the morning:)

What have you all been up to? Have you noticed just how quickly it gets dark in the evenings now! I've had to put my big lights on my bike for the first time since the beginning of the year. I like it when it is dark as you are forced to look only in one spot in front of you...and it feels like you are going so fast too, like you're in a long dark tunnel full of flies and deer and rabbits and grass and dirt and roots and... I'm looking forward to a bit of night riding up in the Surrey Hills soon. It's a totally different place up there in the night time.

Talking of cycling, Lee, Phil & I have a mountain bike marathon scheduled for the 16th September up in North Wales. Not a sponsored ride this time. It is the end race of a series; www.mtb-marathon.co.uk/events/ruthin.php Not sure what distance to ride yet? Probably not the 100k route as we have to drive back that night to London and definitely not the 25k as it would be far too easy. Either the 50k or 75k. Depending on the weather. I'm very excited as I Love North Wales:)

Just a quick update on the amount raised so far for the North Downs Way ride two weeks ago. You wonderful people have been donating since we did the ride and I am now up to a whopping £697. I'm eagerly awaiting for someone to whack it up to the £700 mark;) Anybody got a spare three squids? My fundraising page is still active if you want to sponsor me. It won't close until around the 18th October. So if you haven't already sponsored me, it isn't too late. Go for it;)

The Blood, Sweat & Tyres crew have raised a total of £1513. Well done guys! Absolutely brilliant!

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........2710.52 miles.

Blood, Sweat & Tyres...

2007-08-21T15:30:00.000+01:00

Matthew admirably leading the way through a field of wheat somewhere in the middle of the North Downs Way.

...and punctures & laughs & rain & sun & more punctures & more laughs & crashes & cramps & mud & diversions & eye watering downhills & Pain & leg and lung busting uphills & more rain & yet more punctures & even more laughs...

So there you have it...Blood, Sweat & Tyres 2007 in a nutshell. We had it all! All and more!

Day One...Dover to Lenham via Canterbury.

Lee & I met the others at Dover Priory Station on the East Kent coast at 10:45am on a sunny Saturday morning...Matthew, Phil, Raj, James, Mike & Ben all turned up already clothed in their mountain bike clobber. I was still in my jeans and an old t-shirt. I had made just the day before a laminated number plate each for the riders. They were numbered from 1 to 6 and I had myself the number 999 because 9 is my favorite number and being the only haemophiliac on board I thought having the emergency services number attached to the front of my bike would be handy in case of an emergency;) I handed them out and off we went. Then barely five minutes into the ride I get the first puncture of 8 for the whole weekend...still in Dover! This would be the first of 8 rubber related deflations. The weather was good for us for most of the day...Sunday would be an altogether different affair! My friends Debbie & Graham met us too to see us off and would also be feeding us for lunch just 20 miles away in Canterbury. It took us 4hrs 50mins actual time to arrive at Debbies, courtesy of four punctures (of which I had three...the first of which happened whilst we were still in Dover!) & several miles of the North Downs Way that was very well hidden and not very well sign posted. In fact most of the NDW is quite well hidden and if it wasn't for Matthew's GPS computer and waterproof map we would most probably be in France by now;) At one stage we were beginning to think that whoever owns the NDW doesn't want anyone to find it. But find it we did!

So after a string of punctures and a bramble whipping or two we finally arrived to the most amazing lunch ever at Debbie & Grahams. I am not exaggerating when I say that you will never meet a Lovelier couple as D&G!! Thank you guys from the bottom of our belly's for such a memorable feeding:)
Lee, my best friend & our support vehicle driver was already there and fixed yet another puncture as we all tucked into our fine lunch. This time it was James who had gotten a thorn still attached to it's stem stuck in his tyre, but amazingly the tyre stayed up and we continued for another several miles before it eventually went down just as we pushed our bikes into D&G's back garden...talk about perfect timing:) After our lunch of hot jacket potatoes, cornish pasties, chicken and cakes and bananas and fruit juice and pickle and avocados and loads more besides, we made tracks back onto the streets of Canterbury until we found the NDW again. Then James had a bit of leg cramps on the side of the road and with the help of our number one (Matthew) stretched it back into shape in what to the passers by in their cars must have looked like some kind of roadside pilates class. On our way again, through several tiny very picturesque villages with names like Chilham, Broughton Lees, Charing & Kennington we ran out of daylight and time and I needed my 20:28 tablets which were in the van with Lee several miles away in Lenham...and it began to rain too. We anticipated arriving in Lenham at 7pm for an 8pm dinner. But because of all the punctures and little diversions trying to find the NDW we ran a little late. Lee came and picked us up at 20:20pm just in time for my tablets and after two small journeys we were all sitting around a dinner table where we all enjoyed a wonderful meal each. Lots of chatting and joking and scoffing later we were all in bed snoring like babies. My legs were alright and my arm & ankles were amazing! It was a very good weekend where my joints were concerned. In the days leading up to the ride I was petrified of having one of my bad spells and not being able to walk let alone ride a bike! Thank goodness my joints behaved as well as they did is all I can say.

Day Two...Lenham to South Godstone via Trosley Country Park.

Then came along Sunday morning, after dreams of pedaling along, came a grey but dry view from our bedroom window and after last nights rain things were looking good. My legs were still feeling great and I was ready for a 60 odd mile bike ride. I filled myself up with some yummy factor VIII at 07:30. Breakfast came and went and off to the van we went to get the bikes ready and fill our Camelbaks up with much needed drink. Then it started to rain! It continued to rain on and off (mostly on) for the rest of the day! It was still raining when I was at home some 12 or 13 hours later! But did it detract from the fun? Hell no! It was a wonderful experience being out in the elements with such a great bunch of guys. The trails were slippery and the hills were long and hard going up and fast and bloody dangerous coming down. A few of us had some crashes courtesy of the wet chalk that the North Downs Way are made up of. Phil took a tumble as did Mike (twice). In fact I even fell off myself whilst riding up (yes, you read that right...Up hill;) through a field of wheat when my speed became so low that I had to put a foot down (chocolate footing) but my foot was stuck in my pedal and over I went in to the wheat. I remember lying there for a few seconds thinking how strange a field of wheat looks from your back looking up into the sky. Everyone who crashed were fine thank goodness! And we were able to carry on covered in mud and scratches and stinging nettle stings on our arms and shins! I even managed to get a scratch on the end of my nose...Jason The Red Nosed Twit;)

So on we cycled through more pretty looking villages called Eyhorne Street, Thurnham, Blue Bell Hill & Detling until we reached a rather miserable looking Rochester. The NDW (Pilgrims Way) winds it's way through the outskirts of the City along back roads and main roads. It was wet and grey but quite interesting to see such a diverse mix of scenery on out ride. We eventually came out the other side of Rochester and crossed the River Medway by the M2 and met Lee (at 12:20pm) to stock up on drinks and bananas. Just outside Rochester we came across a tiny little village called Upper Bush and wondered whether there was a Lower or indeed a Middle Bush. The silly things boys will get up to eh;)
More rain and another puncture for Matthew from a thorn which was about 2 or 3 inches long & we were on our way to a place called Trosley Country Park where we had lunch at 14:20pm. By this stage we were covered in mud and wet through and hungry! Hot food was on order and we filled our bellies up with jacket potatoes, sausage rolls and cheese and bacon panini's (I asked for chicken but there wasn't any to be found!) washed down with hot tea. Some of us changed into dry, clean cycling gear and filled our CamelBaks up once again. Then at 15:20 we made tracks and plodded off in the on/off (more on) rain towards Dorking (another 30 odd miles away to the West). Through villages called Chevening, Westerham, Titsey, Oxted & Tandridge. We hit some rather nice trails winding it's way through, up & down some quite thick woods. At one point Matthew had to bail out from his bike whilst negotiating a rather low tree branch that was hanging over the trail. His dive onto his right shoulder would have looked good in any action movie;).
Light was fading again and the rain was falling...again. Time had run out and we were behind schedule due to the weather and so many punctures slowing us down so much and Matthew had to make the decision to end our ride at South Godstone station in Surrey just 12 or so miles away from Dorking (by car) and more like 15-20 miles by bike. I was the only one that had a set of lights out of the seven of us and we had to call it a day. But we did however manage to pass the 100 mile mark in total distance travelled and by the time we reached a soggy & grey South Godstone train station we had cycled a total of 106.77 miles and 60.98 miles for the day! Yay!! We did it! Even if we didn't make it to Dorking. It would have been far too dangerous to continue in the dark and Matthew's decision to end there was like all the other decisions that he made during the weekend...Absolutely spot on! I really don't know how he did it to be quite honest! Reading a GPS that he was still getting used to and reading a waterproof map whilst cycling along and making sure that the rest of his riders were ok...one of which was a severe haemophiliac! You really have to take your hat off to him for completing such a well organized event! And to Lee too for being so patient with us taking our time finding the stop points and doing all that driving! I know that Lee would have rather been riding alongside us but instead drove the support vehicle...Way to go Lee! And to all the other riders too, who I am pretty sure I will meet again someday:)
And lastly thank you to Debbie for feeding me yet again when I arrived back home in Teddington absolutely covered in mud! That gravy was out of this world:)

From left to right; Right at the end...A very damp Matthew (No1), Phil (No2), James (No3), Mike (No4), Raj (No5), Ben (No6), Me (No999) & Lee (I did make him a number plate but with his name on instead) at South Godstone station in Surrey aftar 106.77 miles of riding across the North Downs Way. Well done lads!!

Stats for Saturday;

45.79 miles in 4hrs 55mins pedaling (9hrs from start to finish) with an average speed of 9.3mph and a max speed of 30.3mph and 7 punctures!

Stats for Sunday;

66.98 miles in 5hrs 46mins pedaling (10hrs 45mins from start to finish) with an average speed of 9.8mph and a max speed of 39.1mph and one puncture.

Total miles ridden;

106.77 miles

Total time pedaling along;

10hrs 51mins

Total time out with bikes;

19hrs 45mins

Total punctures; = 8

(Update 21.08.07)

Well what do ya know? Yet another puncture...Number nine! I was on a 30 miler tonight and at the 24 mile mark in Bushy Park having already done a lap and a half of Richmond Park, I got it! The tiniest of thorns imaginable! So I fix the bastard and what happens? It goes down on my way home, but not enough to prevent me from cycling the last two miles with a very soft tyre. I'll sort it out in the morning...maybe;)

Jason

(C) JPT 2007.........2602.67 miles.